The Sky Demon: An Autobiography
by RyuuNoOkaasan
Summary: Izark has grown up being told he will some day be the Sky Demon of Destruction. He enters the Sea of Trees to kill the Awakening - that which will make him into that which he doesn't want to be. When Noriko is an intellectual, what does that mean for his future? A retelling of The Dangers of Being Intellectual, from Izark's perspective - because the world needs to know *his* story.
1. Preface

I was tasked with compiling a concise history of the University of Coropori for the three hundredth anniversary of the founding of the university, including sections for each branch and school within the university. Dean Noriko Taichiki, fifth dean of the university, first and for many years the only female dean, is still well known as the singular most prolific inventor of our world. In my research on the School of Chemistry, I discovered that before she was instated as the dean, she was the one who started the School of Chemistry as a department of the university.

The dean prior to Dr. Taichiki was the well-respected Dr. Clairgeeta, a professor of philosophy who specialized in studies of the World of Light. Many of his works are still considered the leading works on the topic and many are held as canon scripture of those who follow that philosophy. My research for the anniversary of the university was being done in reverse, from the current time and back in history so I could properly reconstruct the timeline, then publish it in its correct order. Because none of Dr. Taichiki's works speak on the World of Light I only thought there'd been a mere passing of the baton, as it were.

I was given permission to view the closed personal collection of Dr. Clairgeeta's on the World of Light that he had drawn his theories from. Many of the records are as many hundreds of years or more older than those I have used in my own research. Some were his own transcriptions of records five hundred or more years old when he read them. I asked for and received permission to re-transcribe his collection as they are very old and crumbling. It seemed such a shame to lose them entirely.

I was quite surprised to learn from Dr. Clairgeeta's own hand from his research data books that Dr. Taichiki was highly influential in his later research and publications. He mentioned her quite frequently as the source of more detailed thoughts into the World of Light. It wasn't until I reached one of the last books in the collection that I learned why.

Dr. Taichiki's personal journal from the years before she came to the university and instituted the Department of Chemistry is now well known world wide. While many argue if it was fiction from my mind or truth because it is so difficult to conceive that the island princess is really from another world entirely, I staunchly maintain it is all from her own hand, save the final chapter which I freely admit is my fanciful idea of what happened to the Awakening and the Sky Demon of legend at the end of the life of Dr. Taichiki.

When I went one more time to the shelves where the collection of Dr. Clairgeeta is housed to return the manuscripts, I was surprised to learn I had missed one final small journal at the end of the shelf. It was a simple book of dark leather cover that was near to rotted and took some effort to pry from it's location against the wall of the shelf without ruining said cover. I thought that even if it was early notes of Dr. Clairgeeta's, it would be worth preserving what was written within.

Imagine my complete astonishment and utter delight to open to the first page and learn that I held within my hands the one and only copy of Izark kia Tarj's journal from that same time. You, dear reader, now hold in your hands a treasure of history: the story of the Sky Demon from his own hand, and his transformation into the being of Light that the Awakening brought him to become, according to the Legend of Light. I have transcribed it faithfully, no wording any different than what he wrote, so that the controversy that surrounds _The Dangers of Being Intellectual_ can't be applied to this work.

May you find what you seek, and may Light and peace always reign within our hearts so that it may be present in our world to the good of all.

\- Jiryü Räsen, Historian


	2. Fear

All my life I have been afraid. The servants whispered their fear to each other, not knowing I could hear them even behind closed doors. I didn't understand at first, but as I grew my powers began to manifest at sudden and odd times. Because they were afraid of my powers, I learned to be afraid of them as well.

I tried to deny that I was anything other than human like anyone else, but then my body, not just my powers, began to betray me. I would have episodes where I could do nothing other than lie on my bed in excruciating pain for sometimes days as things happened inside that I couldn't even imagine, other than to believe what I had heard whispered behind closed doors. Something was inside me that was going to make me change into something I didn't want to be.

Those physical changes inside became external changes once I had enough of the painful episodes that made me lie in my bed completely exhausted for sometimes two to three days or more. After every episode, I would have more scale-like lesions on my arms above my wrists, and eventually down the center of my back. If my powers manifest, my canines elongate, my ears become pointed at the tops, and my eyes change. Normally my eyes are brown with flecks of green, but when my powers escape, or if I need to call on them to a high level now that I can control them, they lighten towards a blue-green and the pupils narrow, like an animal's eyes.

I wore long sleeves and high collars on my shirts and jackets regardless, but when the physical changes began, I chose to wrap my wrists and arms, particularly after my mother exposed them one of the times she attacked me before she was locked away. I began to grow my hair long to cover my back, in case the ones on my back should be exposed at the collar of my jacket. My hair is straight and black, not like the hair of the people I lived with. Even that was a difference.

Today, everything is long, my hair now reaching half-way down my back. I keep it tied back from my face with a bandanna, a clothing habit from when I was young to hide my ears tips when they would elongate. I even wear long jackets, down to my knees to cover what I am, although it's only a psychological need to somehow soothe the fear I feel.

It was my mother's fear that was the worst. My mother's fear broke her. I loved my mother and couldn't bear to have her afraid of me. Her fear left me with nothing of hope to hold on to.

When the first of my powers manifested, she would cry and bemoan that she had ever been willing to give birth to the terrible monster that would one day destroy our world. At other times she claimed she wasn't my mother, that I had been brought to them by a monster to take care of. Both made me even more afraid.

I appreciate the world I was born into and the beauty of it. Everyone who lives deserves to live well and try their best, I believe. To learn I would be Destruction brought me my own darkness long before I would ever bring any darkness to anyone else.

The day my mother broke, she came after me with a knife. I begged her to not attack me, knowing by then that she couldn't kill me regardless. It was already too late for that solution. My powers protected me from her, even though I tried to hold them tightly inside myself.

She pushed me to the floor despite my protests and pleas to her to stop so she wouldn't be harmed. It wasn't until the knife descended for me that my powers threw her off of me. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to hurt her either. Her screams cut me as if the knife had.

The doctor said the knife had cut her, but I never could be sure. I stayed away from blades for a very long time after that. They locked her into her room, her mind never recovering. I couldn't stay there, hearing her sobs and grief. Nor could I stand to see her locked up in her own home. It would be better if I left so she could at least have the house and gardens to walk in, even if the servants never let her leave the house beyond that.

When I approached my father with that plan on one of the rare days he was home from his business in the city, he was completely against it. I will never forget his words to me that day. They horrified me.

"No! You can't leave our house. Our family is prospering because we take care of you. That's the commitment we made. You are a child with enormous powers, a devil incarnate. We signed a contract agreeing to raise you until you become the Sky Demon and shake the world with your might."

I couldn't comprehend it at all. I could understand my mother's fear and remorse. Why would anyone willingly raise a child who would destroy even them in the end? And even worse, how could there be anyone else in the world so evil as to actually _want_ me to be kept safe to become that?

I didn't want to become a demon, a monster of destruction, and I most definitely didn't want to become one used by some evil in the world that wanted to see it destroyed. When my father left on his business again, I left with a knapsack of supplies out the back door. Perhaps mother would be allowed to walk the house in peace if I wasn't there to make her afraid, or feel guilty. I could only hope.

For a long time I hid, going far enough from the manor to not be found by the searching servants. I worked hard to learn how to control my powers. I learned that I could speak with the animals of the forests in a way that seemed unusual to me. I could manipulate wind very early, although now I made it a conscious thing.

I discovered rather suddenly I could create and manipulate fire. I was attacked by a monster I'd been trying to avoid and instead of power blowing it away, like I had my mother, it was lit on fire. I had to control that fire to prevent the forest around us from burning and hurting the animals living there. It was sufficiently effective at killing the monster, and training me through desperation.

I worked hardest at not injuring things with my energy and power. I couldn't be with people if I couldn't control those. Still, I eventually did run out of supplies. I carefully made my way to a shop. I was very nervous, but I'd practiced. While there I overheard two men talking about a manor home that had been burned several valleys over. Gossip spreads far where there aren't many people, nor many grand things happening.

I froze when the one said to the other, "They say it burned down, killing everyone inside, because the boy they were protecting left them, and it was their punishment for letting him leave." It couldn't be, could it? But in my heart I feared it was.

My father had said it himself. If an evil had wanted them protecting me, who would destroy, then it was quite possible that they would have been punished by that same evil. Somehow I managed to finish my shopping in my daze. I had to go back and check.

The burnt husk of the manor home, black beams at odd angles rising to the sky, made my heart feel empty at the same time as the pain made tears fall from my eyes. I had only wanted my mother to be at least a little more free. Instead I had killed her as surely as if I'd stayed and done it with my powers. I fled, not wanting to be captured by whatever evil had done this. This wasn't the life I wanted. I only wanted to live a normal life, doing my best to help other people.

I didn't stay in one place any longer. I walked through unpeopled wilderness unless I had to purchase supplies. I would stop at a few farms to help with the animals, never speaking much, until I had enough coin, then shop and return to the solitude.

Eventually I made my way through two countries to a third. I was just old enough to be hired on and found a caravan owner who was willing. For years I traveled constantly that way, always staying away from my home country, trying to stay hidden from whatever evil wanted to own me and my powers.

Being with other people in those caravans, I learned how to hide my powers. If I was attacked (and I was regularly because I looked like an easy target - young, skinny, weak, a loner) I learned how to dodge and defend myself with my hands, holding my powers close to me.

I learned how to throw a man and not so hard or so far as to have it be odd. I had to leave the first caravan early. It scared them that as a child I threw a man a block and a half through a shop window. That also gave me away to anyone who might be looking for me, I feared.

I also had to control my powers when with people because using them made the physical changes come. The early times that happened, I was frequently called a monster as the man who'd chosen to attack me fled in fear. It was a sorrowful sign that I was different, not just human.

I came to hate the changes, hate being called a monster, and eventually, to become angry at whomever had made me call on those changes in order to defend myself from them. I didn't want to be the monster, but they'd forced me to become it all because they wanted to have "fun" picking on someone they felt was weak. It taught them to think twice in the future, I could only hope.

Sometimes I would think that if most of the men in the world were like that - having "fun" being mean - then perhaps I should let them have what they'd asked for. But I always regretted it after I calmed down. I didn't want to be alone and feared, and I didn't want to hurt people. It was - is - a hard life, to keep my secret and be drowning in fear alone.

In desperation, one of the times I'd been paid a little extra, I went to a seer in one of the towns and paid to have my future seen. I was afraid they would see I was the Sky Demon and give me away, but I'd become more afraid of myself.

The seer looked into his scrying tool - a mirror on the table in front of him. His look went to confusion. "I don't see anything. It's just a swirl of chaotic colors." He looked at me with the same eyes of suspicion of those who'd known what I was.

"What does that usually mean?" I asked, after I'd swallowed around the lump of fear in my throat.

"That we can't tell what your future is," was all he could say.

"Is there anyone who could?" I asked.

He frowned. "A strong seer, maybe, but they're usually either very expensive or hired by nobility. You can't afford that." He'd let me only pay a quarter of his fee, since he hadn't been able to see anything. I started saving up all of my extra coin. It would be worth it for even just one strong seer to look, I thought.

As an alternative, I started asking seers instead what they knew about the Sky Demon. I tried to do that at taverns when I found them relaxing over alcohol. Many were willing to tell stories to a youth interested in the world. That was how I learned about the Awakening.

It was both relieving, and worrisome, to learn that the Awakening was foretold like the Sky Demon. The Awakening would come to the Sea of Trees, appearing on a bed of golden moss under the largest tree of the Sea of Trees. And then the Awakening would "awaken" the Sky Demon of Destruction. It was relieving to know I wouldn't just over time on my own become Destruction. It was worrisome that I might not have a choice, that something outside me would make it happen regardless of my personal preferences.

I worried even more after that, and worked harder to earn my extra coin. Now I wanted to know for sure if there was any way I could change my destiny. The seer I paid still couldn't do it. She tried as hard as she could, but nothing came to her vision other than the chaos. She'd only been able to shake her head and tell me that at best it meant my destiny was unknowable. That didn't help my fear much. Even having her be the one to look, I took courage enough in hand to ask her if anyone knew when the Awakening was going to appear.

She shook her head at that one, also. "We believe we seers will be given to know when it happens, but that's also unknowable at the moment. For all we can see many things into the future, there are even more we can't. The world is a strange and marvelous place, and we can only do what we've been given to do." After that, I would regularly pay lesser seers, usually in drink at a tavern, to learn if there had been any signs of the Awakening appearing yet.

I haven't traveled with a caravan in nearly two years. I was taught a gentle way to use the sword, and it allows me to use my power more effectively. Now I travel as a lone wandering swordsman, earning my pay protecting people on their travels. I like being able to pay forward for the debt I may owe everyone in the future.

Last month, I finally received a positive answer. The seer I was talking to was looking into the drink I'd bought him and he froze, his eyes going distant. Quietly he whispered, still in his trance, "I see it, the Awakening arriving." His head came up in shock and he stared at me in the same fright I was feeling. "Forget I said anything, if I just did."

I shrugged at him as if I hadn't heard anything come from his lips. I didn't want that news spreading any more than he did. I was relieved he was someone who didn't want destruction, too. Knowing men the way I do now, there are plenty who would use that news to their own selfish benefit. We both left the tavern shortly after that, each as shaken as the other.

I am now in the Sea of Trees, moving from tree to tree towards the tallest one in the center. My power now is so strong most monsters who aren't hungry stay away. It's not worth fighting a stronger monster than they are, most of the time, and I've learned how to make myself be hidden from them anyway. The Sea of Trees is full of the flower monsters, though, so it's hard to pass through unnoticed.

I pause to look down from a tree top at the large canopy of the largest tree, my target. I can feel it. I can feel the Awakening approaching my world, coming to turn me into something I don't want to be. I will be there first to find it, first so that I can kill it. I refuse to become the Sky Demon of Destruction.


	3. Destiny

"Hiromi! Masako! Rie!" The words are unfamiliar, an odd accent to them. Still it was stupid. Stupid to call out like that in a place like this. I can only assume they are names of people this little slip of a girl knows.

I'm tightly gripping the branch of the tree I'm standing in. A swirl of emotions as confusing as the swirl the seers see when they look at my future is churning inside of me. I'm looking at what should be the Awakening. There's the golden moss that she arrived on, under the largest tree of the Sea of Trees. I know I arrived at the right place because she wasn't there moments before. I know that, because _she_ doesn't believe she is there, here in this world.

Her dress is short, only coming to her knees, but it isn't a dress of my world. Her socks and shoes aren't either, nor is the strange bag she carries, clenched in her fist that is trembling with a fear greater than mine. Her dark brown hair is straight like mine, and only comes down to her shoulders.

I can only think to myself, _I'm supposed to kill that?_ And under that is a complete disbelief that _this_ could be the Awakening foretold. How could a weak girl from another place entirely change me so much as to turn me into Destruction? She's the sort of person I'm paid to protect. Clueless, city born and bred, weak, defenseless.

She so obviously has no idea where she is, how she got here, or anything about any prophecy she might be a major participant in. She proves it again as she arrives in the center of the corridor around the bed of moss and cries out at the top of her lungs for people she knows - a different set this time - begging for anything she does know, any part of her normal life to appear to her eyes again. I can't help but feel sympathy. I sometimes wish my childhood innocence could come back like that.

But, that was even more stupid that the former. Now she has called the flower insects to her. There are so many, they're quite willing to come be what she doesn't want to see at all. The rest of the animal residents of the trees above her are fleeing, not wanting to be what called the flower insect. They run past her, but she's frozen. Her fear is palatable even to me. I should let the flower insects eat her. It will likely save us both a lot of trouble in the end.

Within the swirl of chaotic emotions inside me is despair that I can't kill the Awakening. I can't kill what my heart protects, what I feel compassion for. I should let the flower insects do it for me, since I can't. A wild part of me cries out for someone other than me to protect her, to be here, but if they were they wouldn't be protecting her. They would be stealing her away to turn me into what I don't want to be. I made sure I was the first to arrive, to kill this, the Awakening, only a girl. No one else is here.

I'm moving towards her now, the instinct moving me. I know the flower insect is too close. It lands near her, eating a small creature that was slow. She's still frozen, petrified and likely wouldn't know what to do anyway. She most definitely doesn't want to get eaten, regardless, but then no one would.

_Ah_, I've drawn my sword and don't know how I got here. That happens sometimes, too. My deep desire and drive to protect instead of destroy makes me act to do so before I've quite made up my mind, and I get involved in things I perhaps didn't want to. Usually I can back out if it was a bad idea. I've got a sense that's not going to work this time, but it's already too late.

The flower insect lunges. It still can't sense me. It's going for the girl, who's behind me now. Putting my power behind the swing, I slice at the flower insect and the front part is sliced off entirely and flies past me.

I barely get turned around in time, again my instinct warning me that all is not well behind me. "Aaah!" _Ooof_. I'm being held very tightly about the middle by a screeching Awakening. I'm not very pleased at all, actually. Not only does the fearful screeching hurt my ears, I'm sure it's calling even more flower insects. I really should have let the one eat her. This is going to be far more trouble than I want. Of course, they'll come just because I cut the one. The smell of the blood will call them, too.

I sigh to myself. I can understand her fear, the fear of the unknown and frightening. Most of my city clients cower in fear when I have to protect them from monsters, and not a few cry out as well. They usually don't hang on to me, though, and I'd rather she wasn't. If the flower insects show up while she's doing that, it will be hard to defend us both. Not to mention I don't know anything about _how_ she's supposed to turn me into what I don't want to be. Still, as long as she's completely panicked like this, there isn't much I can do anyway. Except stab her in the back.

...And I'm back around to my compassion telling me that I can't do that. That I need to patiently wait until she can calm down. I'm suddenly as irritated with my compassionate self as everything else. I _don't_ want to become the Sky Demon of Destruction. Am I to give myself up to that just because the Awakening somehow ended up being something I can't kill? That isn't what I want. I don't want this, not any more than she does. I'd send her back if I knew how, and immediately, so that I could escape the Sea of Trees and we could all go on about our normal lives like we'd far rather.

It's going to be reluctant allies. The flower insects are too close. I'm relieved she's finally calm enough to look up at me - with an expression of complete embarrassment at her behavior. _At least she has some sense of propriety. Even that's missing from a lot of people around here these days_.

I push her away and clean off my sword with a hard swing and put it away. We'll run for now. I'd rather fight fewer than more flower insects, and they're headed here. She apologizes, her foreign words strange to my ear, but the tone is rather obvious, given her expression. I don't look at her, but the apology helps - a little.

I pick up my bag, dropped where I left her, and sling it over my shoulder, then pick up hers. It is very stiff, rectangular and surprisingly heavy, although that's a small thing to me. I turn to her and say, "I don't understand the language you are speaking." That gets her mouth closed and I shove her bag at her. She can at least carry that.

"This isn't what I had planned," I complain more to myself than her. I already know she can't understand me either. Confusion is written all over her face, and a bit more of the fear of being in a completely new and strange place.

There are snaps above us and I can hear faint voices. I'm no longer the only one who's come. The other seers have seen it and have told their employers, and others are now coming. Coming to take the Awakening so they can own me. I scowl slightly, trying to not take it out on her, since she has no idea.

She's heard some of the noise though and has gone stiff with fright again. I grab her arm. "Quickly. This way." She comes with me, not really having a choice. I can pull oxen with one hand, although I'm being gentle with her. She really is rather small.

And then the flower insects arrive. "Run!" I slip my hand down from her arm to hold her hand, shivering slightly as I do so. She's human and human contact is something that I find very difficult to deal with. But now isn't the time. From everywhere the flower insects appear and we're running. _Sigh. She's also so slow. Short legs, and likely not much physical activity_. And I'm fast when I want to be. _This isn't going to work._

I draw my sword and stop running. I just need to make an opening. Without paying any attention, I drag the Awakening into my chest so that she and I seem as one and the flower insects come for me, since they're coming for her. I kill the ones who reach us first, then pick her up, putting her over my shoulder. I can't climb the trees with her. She'll likely fall out and break her neck. _Maybe I should..._ and then I get scolded by my heart again. _Sigh_. The wind brings the scent of water to me, as I ask it for which way is our way to freedom.

I run towards where I smell the water from. I have to jump over four flower insects. The landing is hard on her, my shoulder in her stomach, but I can't do any better at the moment. Survival comes first, and I need my sword for that. I run for the place I smell the water from. It's an underground cave system. I can tell that by smell as well. It will have to do. If we go up, the other seekers on their flying creatures will see us and find out who I am, what she is.

"Eek!" and I'm swinging at the flower insect that got too close. At least she was quiet until now and only warned me. It would have been a lot more difficult to know how to protect us if she'd been screaming this whole time. It wasn't enough to alert the men above us, either, who are now behind us since they stayed near the main tree. I look down through the tree roots. The opening is wide enough.

I leap us through the opening and we are falling down towards a broad rock riverbank. This sort of thing is easy for me. My power is a shield that won't let us get hurt and that slows the fall. We still have to land, though. I shift the Awakening so she's in both of my arms. I'd rather not have her land on my shoulder from this high a fall. There's a thud behind me just as I land and I look back. One of the flower insects fell through the hole with us, but it flops down to lie still.

Since they terrify her, I decide to explain now, before she can scream again. "They've quit chasing us. They get their strength from the trees, and there are no trees here. You don't have to worry about this since it has no affect on the human body." I add the last part since sometimes people get in their heads strange things.

I've put her down now and look back at her. Not like she could understand any of it anyway. Maybe she got the message, though. She isn't screaming. Instead, she's looking at me with wide innocent and trusting eyes. _Damn_.

Irritated, I stand and walk off. There aren't trees down here, but there are tree roots, seeking the water of this cave. There isn't anything other than this rock ledge and the river. We'll have to go by water. That means even more work, and we've left a trail of dead flower insects behind us. When those other men arrive, they'll follow our path. We need to be gone before they do. I'm glad for my speed today. I hope I won't be pushed too far. I'm not ready for the Awakening to see me as the monster the rest of the world does.

I use my sword and the least amount of power possible to cut tree roots into logs to build a raft, moving as fast as I can and still maintain control. I need to conserve as much as possible for now. We may still have to fight men later. I don't know how far we can get before we're found. The farther we are from the Sea of Trees, the less likely anyone will think we're the Awakening and Sky Demon. That's how I've survived this long. No one really believes the Sky Demon is just one of them.

Angry at that thought, like usual, I hack at a root a little harder, but as I about let go of the log to toss it into the pile I'm collecting, my body restrains the throw. I look over my shoulder in surprise. The Awakening has walked over to the pile of logs and is straining to pull one out of the pile. The one I'm holding lands closer to me and I have to stare, then turn to not laugh. She is trying so hard. If she wants to feel useful, to having something to do to distract her from her loss of her world, who am I to stop her?

I scowl at the roots again, but I'm careful where I place them after that. What crazy being made it so that I had to be the Sky Demon? So she had to be the Awakening, torn from her likely peaceful world? Can I kill that thing instead? I'd rather, like I'd rather send the Awakening home. _Why do I have to be doing this?_

It's all questions I've asked before, only now I've got another person to take care of. I don't want to do that, either, but I can't afford to let her be captured any more than I can afford to be captured. I'm pretty sure she'd be just as unhappy to be used against me, although I don't know that yet.

That makes me cautious. She's clueless, but that doesn't mean anything really. I've protected clueless people who were dangerous. I try not to be hired by that kind, but sometimes I need coin and food, and that's all the work I can find. With a sigh, I put my sword away. That's enough logs.

I turn to see the Awakening has put four logs into a square and she is just dropping the end of one. It's far too heavy for her to lift. But it means she's intelligent enough to understand what I was doing, and what's next. That worries me, coming on the tail end of my last thought. "Move," I push her out of the way, trying to not be harsh in my worry, the fear that rises up so easily.

I pull out rope from my bag. It will likely all be used up by this project. As fast as I can, keeping my ears open to sounds from above us, I put logs on the base and tie them on. I try not to pay attention to the Awakening, but she's still being helpful, rolling logs over so I don't have to walk to the pile and back.

Again my emotions are conflicted. I appreciate she wants to help. I'm worried, and keep trying to remind myself that she doesn't know why I'm in a hurry, why she _should _be helping me make this work go faster. I just want to be out of here so I can relax and think straight; figure out what I'm going to do about this situation I've found myself in. I don't need this kind of confusion added to the confusion I already have about my life and what's going to happen.

With a deep breath, I cut the excess rope and put my knife away into its sheath at the back of my belt. That used up more than I should have, in my stress and need to get out of this place. I slump down on the finished raft and rest a bit, letting out a sigh. There haven't been any noises from above yet, and the wind tells me that only flower insects, dead and living, are above us. I have a little bit of time to recover.

Not moving, though, and the smells on the wind, remind me that the Awakening has been watching me. I can feel my face warm a little, and I'm glad it's hidden by my hair. This isn't going to be easy, traveling with a girl for who knows how long. How am I even going to explain it to anyone? She obviously hasn't paid me to guard her. One look at her says that. She doesn't even look like any race I've seen so far in my travels. At least she isn't obviously different. It's minor, mostly softer features of face, but then all girls are like that compared to men, I suppose.

And if she _had _been obviously different - ugly, a different kind of creature, anything - I would have killed her. I sit up and groan to myself slightly. That really would have been better and met my expectations more handily. _Who or whatever is doing this to me: why? Why did you have to make it the one thing I can't get rid of? I don't want to be the Sky Demon!_

That gets me up and I push the raft so that half of it hangs over the river. The Awakening has already moved towards our bags. She looks back up at the hole above us, towards the place she came into this world from. I can see her trembling again. She doesn't want to go away, she wants to go back, but back is worse than forward, now.

"Let's go," I say to get her moving. I turn away before she is looking at me. I'm sure she doesn't want me to see her tears again, and I don't want to see them either. It's not my fault she's here, except I was born to be what she brings to destruction. She climbs on the raft and I use my utter frustration to push us off into the river. _Can I still fight it, now that she is here?_


	4. The Awakening

Honestly, I'm relieved that the Awakening is rather quiet when I need it. She kept her tears muffled as best she could. It was hard, since I know those tears. They are the ones I cried as I ran from my burned home. The loss of parents, family, the life one had known - those are very hard. I couldn't deny her the time to grieve.

The wind brings to me where the walls are that surround the river. Most of the time there is only the tunnel of the cave. I brought a long pole with me that I use to make sure we stay in the middle of the cave, or move us to the left or right if the roof comes down too low. I'm rather tall and because I'm standing I'd rather not hit my head. The Awakening sat and that helps.

Her breath catches. She's been quiet for a bit now, but now her breathing changes to one of fear again. I wonder what she'll do next. [Worried words I can't understand,] but she's motioning between us and I can feel that motion of the air.

"Yes, we're fine," I try to reassure her. Darkness doesn't scare me. Only I scare me. _And she scares me_, a quiet whisper says in the back of my head I try to ignore, although it's true. Until I understand what and who she is, she'll scare me, too.

She tries to relax again, but I can tell she's feeling the weight of where we are, and the darkness, too much. I want her to stay quiet...and I want to reward her for being quiet so far. I need the quiet very badly right now.

I reach down for the torch I'd made early from the smaller roots I'd cut off one of the logs. Using my power over fire, I light the end of it. When I look down at her, she's staring in amazement at what I've done. _Well, that's as unusual in her world as it is here, then_. I hand her the torch. She takes it without fear. That is different. Normally no one would have touched it after watching me (or anyone) do something like that.

"[Thank you,]" her words are pretty obvious, if not ones I know. I turn away, thinking that's all, but she keeps going. I turn back in surprise. [Words I don't know,] then the last one is repeated again, and she's pointing at herself. "[Noriko. Noriko Taichiki. And you are?]" At least I assume that's the final question.

I blink at her, not quite sure how to respond. _Are we to go on to familiarity already?_ I'm sure I'm not ready, but...it isn't kind to continue to think of her as an object, a thing that is of prophecy, when she's obviously a living human being.

"The Awakening is supposed to be something that drives the world into turmoil." I can't look at her. I'm trying to work it out for myself. "I didn't expect the Awakening would ask for my name in such a friendly way." I take a breath. "My name is Izark. Izark Kia Tarj, Noriko." Her name rolls off my tongue strangely. I'm not sure I want her calling mine.

She does anyway. "[Thank you,] Izark." She points to the torch. "[Thank you for the light,] Izark."

I can only give her a nod and return to my wandering thoughts and protecting us from the walls that we both can see now. I don't think about what it makes me feel to have her call my name. She was being grateful for my kindness. That's how people properly get along. She's at least polite. That's also a relief.

-o-o-o-

Every now and again Noriko makes a sound of appreciation that brings my attention back from the wind. The walls of a larger cave opening - which I had been exploring by wind to see if it had any openings to the surface - are sparkling in the torchlight. For a time my eyes are also captivated by the sight. Even I didn't know they could do that. One time she giggles and waves the torch back and forth. It takes a bit for me to see she's playing with the shadow of a pair of stalagmites and stalactites. It makes me smile to see it, too.

In little ways like this she's showing me who she is. To know that she can appreciate simple natural beauty without coveting it, that she can play in simple ways and find a way to laugh in the middle of unhappy circumstances, these are actually rather large to me. In my world, those are rare, unless one is very young and unaffected by the adults around them as of yet. She isn't that young. I wonder just how young she is. She still has the air of a dependent to her, of being sheltered, for all she has creative intelligence and understanding.

Being willing to be helpful is good also. The lazy and indolent are often unkind and prideful. I haven't seen either of those in her yet, but she could have been by now. It whispers to me that this might not be as bad as I believe it could be. I don't want to hear that, though. I don't want her here at all and my heart hurts for the both of us that she has to be. I'm glad we can't talk. I would likely end up saying things that would hurt her, because she doesn't know, doesn't understand.

I turn away from my thoughts again, seeking for what's coming next. I don't like it suddenly. The wind brings me the sound of great rushing waters. This river has been silent until now. Rushing waters means a change in the elevation of the river, and that's not likely a good thing for us. I'm relieved when the wind also brings word that before that point is open space again. I will have to hope we can find a way out from there.

It's coming up fast, as the river moves that way. I can't give Noriko warning in time, so she has to bear with me grabbing her up again and leaping from the raft to land on rock. Again, it's my shoulder into her gut since I needed to grab up the bags in my other hand. I'm hoping to not have to do it that way ever again. I don't like it any more than she does.

I put her down immediately and look around the cave. It's quite large actually, with a tall fall of rock to our right and, thank goodness, a tunnel going up to our left in the back of the cave. It leads far enough away the wind can't tell me if that leads out or not. I'll need to explore.

We can't stay here. The puddle in the middle of the floor just to our closer left says that at spring floods, this room also floods. We won't have to worry about that today. "I'll need you to stay here while I find the way out," I tell Noriko, pointing to the floor, trying to get across she's to stay here.

The air flow is so faint that if she's with me her scent will hide the scent of the outdoors. We'll get out faster if I can leave her here. I also can't feel by air where the walls are. I only made the one torch and she'll have to wait in the dark, for all I'm sorry for it.

I hold out my hand for the torch. She shakes her head and hands me my bag instead. She tugs on the front of her dress. "[Word.] Noriko [word]." She reaches out and takes hold of the front of my jacket lightly. "Izark [clothes]." She points to my bag. "Izark [clothes _word_] Noriko?" She points to herself again.

Yes, she is intelligent, to already understand her clothes will make her stand out once we get out of here. I could leave her here to die and if someone found her they would wonder at that, too. I'm kicking myself for thinking that thought as I look her over. I haven't got anything to fit her, but...perhaps what I wear when the nights are too cold. It will be too much, but it's simple.

I nod and get into my bag, pulling out the simple pants and shirt. Anyone will also wonder at them as well, but it's enough if I can say I found her with her clothing ragged enough she needed anything until we could get to a shop. I sigh to myself. I'm not going to like that expense. I've not worked the past month as I worked to get here alone.

_Ah,_ I grab her shoulder and motion for the torch again. She's headed behind the tall rocks, but she's going to have her hands full. They're full now and we don't need her to drop the torch, then drop into the river in the dark.

She looks irritated, looks at her bundles, then sighs and hands me the torch. She covers her eyes with the now-free hand, then scowls at me. I can't help the laugh, though I keep it silent. Like I want to peep at a young thing like her. I pick up my bag and walk to the wall and lean against it. I drop the bag at my feet and cross one foot over the other to make it obvious I'll stay put so she can see what she's doing. That satisfies her and she heads behind the rock fall.

I don't need to see her anyway, when I have the wind to tell my ears what she's doing, and my nose. Some sounds are unusual, but the pungent smell is not. I make the wind go away from me for a bit until I hear a splash into the river. That makes me think, though. It would be best if I also took care of that while we're here by the river. She's where she won't see me, also. That may become problematic later, but I'll worry about it at that later time. _Does she even know how to use the restroom out in the wild?_ Well...I guess she just taught me she does to some degree. We'll see, I suppose.

I wonder many things while waiting for her. She takes her time, or so it seems to my impatient self that wants to be going. When she finally comes out from around the rock, I'm a bit dismayed. It's no wonder she took so long. The pants are rolled up many times, the pant waistband rolled down, the sleeves rolled up until the cuffs are as thick as heavy winter fur coat cuffs would be, and the shirt is pleated under the tie.

Even still it's way too large for her. I'm skinny, but not skinny enough for her to not drown in my clothing. I shake my head, but I know there isn't anything for it but to find clothes to fit her, and we can't do that until we get out of here.

She's still in her socks and shoes, but I don't complain for now. If we come across sharp rocks in these caves, she'll need them and I don't have extra shoes. She also still has her bag, but I won't complain about that yet either. It took her enough strength just to get rid of her clothes. Little by little, faster than she wants, she is losing her world and all ties to it. I understand this. It will still have to go, eventually.

Noriko walks straight up to me and holds out her hand. When I lift my bag, she shakes her hand and motions for it. I raise my eyebrow at her. The expression on her face is determined, but the tears are still in her eyes as she frowns, trying to prevent them. How can I say no to a face like that? If it will bring her comfort to think I'll come back for her because I'll come back for things, then I'll let her keep the bag. I don't need it for what I'm doing anyway.

I drop the straps of my bag over her beseeching hand and leave. I can't stay in front of that face. My angry fear wants to leave her here, where she couldn't get out and no one would find her, so it isn't a lie that I might do it. I don't like seeing that in myself, even if it would be another way to escape my fate.

-o-o-o-

It takes me a long time to find the way out. It's a long way up through many meandering maze-like caves, and I'll have to create the opening we pass through. The air comes in from the outside only through very small cracks in the wall. I hope Noriko will have the stamina to make the climb. It isn't as hard to get back to her, since I can follow my own trail back.

I've spent the time trying to focus on the elusive air, and having to drag my thoughts back again and again from the situation I've found myself in. My mind goes around in the same unproductive circles it always has, only now with more anxiety because of more unknowns than before. I only know now that the Awakening is a girl, and only I know that she's polite. The rest is all the same. So I'd rather not think about it.

If only I could face this as a new job. I have someone new to protect and get to where she needs to go, and then I can move on. It's not going to be that easy, but...I wish I could think of it that way.

When I arrive back in the lower river cavern, Noriko is sitting against the wall where I left her. Her eyes turn to me and say she wishes she wasn't still there, the same as I wish she still wasn't there. If it could have been a shared dream that we could wake up from, that would be nice. Our eyes part and I sigh. I'm startled slightly, then have to smile. I don't look at her, though. Sharing that thought, and even the sigh, is a commonality we can't deny.

My angry mind wants to reject that we can have things in common, that we share even that much camaraderie, but other parts of me are glad for it. I may walk with others, but sharing things in common with them is rare, and treasured.

I sigh at myself and join her. She points to her mouth, then her stomach. Her words are likely a complaint of hunger. I nod and trade her the torch for my bag. I've only got a little to snack on and we've got a long way to go to get to real food anywhere. I wonder what time it was in her day when she was dragged here. How different is her world?

My eye catches her bag, where it had been underneath mine, which is warm as if she's only recently come from resting on it again. Likely she slept, only having the dark for company. I point to her bag, then the river. It needs to go while we're here, so it can stay hidden from the rest of the world.

She wants to frown. She picks up the bag, along one long side, oddly, and opens it. It has things in it. She points to my bag. I give a half-hearted nod. I can understand she'd like to keep things important to her, if she has anything with her that could be considered such.

We each sit near each other. When I've pulled out my bag of dried berries and seeds for her, she's already put one thing back into her bag and is studying the next item. I'll wait to give her the food for now. She's focused.

A thin book with a soft cover is put down outside the bag, near me. It has an odd spiral of metal along one side to hold the pages together. It will have to be hidden, but maybe she can keep it. She opens an odd box, looks at the things in it, taking inventory, then puts it with the book.

I pick it up and open it like she did. It's smooth to the touch and the fastener odd. Inside are things similar enough to what is in this world - things to write with. These things also can be replaced, but they're small things she can hold on to for now.

There's the sound of tearing then another of the same sort of books is in the little pile in front of me. Pages already written on in a strange language go into her bag. She wants to be able to write. Perhaps that's one of the ways she hopes to find comfort in this strange world she's suddenly in. I wonder.

A strange looking thing is next, but when she uses it to brush her hair, I understand. She pulls her short hair back and puts it up to be out of her way for now. I don't think it helped much. Her short bangs are still in her face, but, then, that is also like me. I also have long bangs that hang in my face that my bandanna can't hold back.

The brush is odd enough it will have to go, but it also can wait until we find a shop. I can feel my thin coins already slipping through my fingers and they aren't even in my hands yet. _Can she earn her own?_ I wonder.

Two small things are next. She studies them, then moves to put them into her bag, but I've recognized one of them. I reach for the small round glass in a strange setting that reflects the light and the world around us. Noriko lets me have it. It's like the mirrors of the seers. Is she a seer? I put it on the floor and try to ask her with gestures more than words. Noriko ponders until she shakes her head and says words that seem to say she isn't one. I'm not sure I've gotten my question across properly.

She tries again and nothing in what she does says she would know how to use a mirror as a focus to see the present or the future. It's possible that isn't a skill on her world, although she seems to understand what one might be. It would have been helpful if she had been. We could stay away from pursuit better if we knew it was coming. When she puts it back into the bag again, I don't complain. It's one less thing to carry and have to hide, even if it is small.

The final thing to be picked up is something so odd, I can't even conceive what it is. Two books, a box of writing things, and a brush are sufficient, I think. I'm sure we don't have a replacement for whatever this last thing is, but it can't come just for that reason. She puts it on the pile in front of me.

I shake my head and put it on top of her bag. She looks back firmly at me, for the second time since we met. For all she is frightened and weak, there are times she will stand up to me. I push that, to see how far she'll go. She has to be able to obey me or she might be killed. Outside this cave is dangerous for her.

When she reaches for the thing again, I bat her hand away from it, frown and shake my head. _You can't bring it._ What will she do?

Noriko breathes out an exasperated breath and looks at me, frustrated. I don't relent. She narrows her eyes, willing to fight even harder. What will I learn about the Awakening this time?


	5. Teacher

_What strange creature have I brought out of the Sea of Trees?_ My mind is reeling. I had never expected to have met a creature such as this one. Her disguise as a weak young girl is deceiving.

I can't say I'm angered by the deceit. Rather, I'm both astounded and embarrassed. It's more than I can take in, and it continues on and on without a way for me to interrupt and stop her. I'm feeling rather powerless, actually. It's almost frightening that the entire strength of the Sky Demon isn't enough to combat the angry Awakening.

How does one stop the flow of words, the emphatic pointing, the _teaching_? I've already given up and Noriko doesn't see it, can't tell, she's so lost in her need to teach, to show me in great detail just why she should be allowed to bring the strange thing I don't understand. I still don't know how it's related to the teaching, but just that much is more than enough.

It was a simple thing to understand her pictures for simple concepts: [sun], one rising and setting of the sun is a [day], a set of [days] to make [a set time period]. [Blood] surprised me, but it was the lead in for what was next.

I've now learned things I never in my lifetime thought to learn. How a woman's body works, that it bleeds, that it bleeds because that's normal for a woman who isn't pregnant. That much was astounding, that she would openly teach me something like that as our first real long conversation.

What happened after was embarrassing and I couldn't get Noriko to stop. Somehow in her teaching, something made her decide she also needed to then tell me what happens when a man and a woman lie together to make that pregnancy happen. I still don't know why she needed to add that, nor do I understand how she knows exactly how it happens.

I understood what she taught me, it's the _how_. If she isn't a seer, are there seers in her world that learned these things? No one knows what goes on inside the body, other than what can be felt from the outside. How can she know these small things, draw these pictures of what happens inside, as if she's been inside to see?

Finally, the words pouring from her mouth stop and she frowns at the pictures in front of her. I try to recover as she's silent, desperate to have the quiet for even a moment. Because I'm trying to learn what she is, I notice that she's suddenly uncomfortable, as if the power of the teacher has left her and she's suddenly the weak girl again, dismayed at what's happened. I understand that, too, but perhaps I'm reading too much into it from my own experiences.

She erases the many pictures she's drawn, particularly the embarrassing ones, leaving up only the picture of day and the set time period of days. Then she points to the thing she wants to take with us and firmly says words and draws a circle around a half-portion of one of the days. The word for blood is in that set of words, as is the word for day as she makes the circle.

The sun comes out for me, now that she's made her final point to tie them all together. If a woman bleeds, something must absorb the blood. This thing I don't recognize nor understand does that.

Noriko glares at me one more time, the Teacher still in there and I retreat from it. I already had given up, but for that reason I won't prevent it at all. We'll have to find another woman for that to be replaced. I have _no_ idea how to help her with that. She knew that, obviously.

She puts it back on the pile of things to go with us and firmly says two words. I keep my mouth closed. That's always the answer in the face of an upset woman who's been scolding. I've learned that watching wise men who have wives.

I'm relieved when Noriko relaxes to rest on her hand and remembers she's hungry, asking for food again. I hand over the small bag of what I have. I'm glad to learn quietly this time, by observation again.

She pours some of the mixture into her hand, looking at each thing separately. She tries things one by one, with time between each thing, as if testing to see if they will poison her, and which one might. It goes along with her intelligence. I frown inside.

How different is her world? Is she also worried mine is too different? That although she may be human in form, inside she could be harmed by what's here? It shows caution, worry, care for her own life, and an understanding that she has to stay here and not starve regardless. It's a small courage, that she would eat without complaint, even if carefully. She waits to eat more, to see what her body will do with the new foods. Again, she is grateful. "[Thank you.]"

"Thank you," I say in my own tongue.

Immediately she says it back. I nod. She understood that I was giving her the word to use and wants to learn it. She'll very quickly know how to talk to others. That will likely cause me more difficulties, but it will be a while. She points to the bag in her hand. "Thank you?"

I shake my head and give her the name for the mix of foods. She nods in understanding and says," Thank you," again, both for the new word and to confirm she understood rightly. I nod again. She understands.

She's also hungry enough to not wait long enough before eating the rest of the mixed berries and seeds in her hand. I wish I could offer her more if she's that hungry, but I can't, so it will have to be enough. _And if she dies from eating a poison to her, what could I do?_ I shush that part of me, still not liking it, still wishing that part of me wasn't bitter that I can't kill her and escape my destiny.

Noriko asks without words if I want some food as well, I shake my head. I'm not hungry, nor is there really enough there for both of us to eat freely if it takes us too long to get to the closest village. I won't die of hunger any more than I'd die of anything else.

I feel recovered enough to ask my question that I really want answered. Trying carefully to remember the words she used, I ask her how she knows about the things that are so small that create human life. How did she learn what she taught me?

At first she assumes I've asked what size they really are. She hunts through the dirt before us and picks up something between her forefinger and thumb and asks for my hand. I hold out my hand. She drops a tiny grain of sand into it. "[Egg.]" That was what comes from the woman, I remember. She pantomimes even smaller for the other. I find it difficult to believe. How can one see something smaller than a grain of sand, or even of dust, since she hasn't gone to pick that up yet.

The Teacher returns, but this time not so angry. It's a lesson that I can understand. I've seen examples myself as I've sat watching raindrops falling slowly down the window outside my room as a boy. She explains how I could see things at a distance as if they were close, small things made to look larger. It's as logical a reasoning as her other lesson. There's no magic, no special power, only an understanding of nature. When she returns and the Teacher fades into the background, she asks me if I understand.

I rise to my feet and make a small hole in the dirt in front of her, but away from where she's been drawing and writing. I walk to the pool and scoop up some water in my hand and return to pour just a little bit on top, carefully. It makes the hole I made look larger, and the dirt underneath it. Noriko nods and looks up at me to smile. She's happy I've understood and I can't help but smile shyly back. It's another shared understanding, and I'm changed slightly. Noriko understands how the world works. Is that something I can put hope into?

She doesn't know what I am. I'm not like many things in my own world, and perhaps not like things in hers. Can she help me understand myself? If in understanding myself better, can I overcome my dark destiny? If she doesn't know I'm supposed to be evil, can she help me avoid becoming it?

I'm afraid of the question, it's something so far from what I know. Yet at the same time, I desperately cling to it. If she can do that, then I'm willing to keep her alive, have a reason to not kill her. I wish for that also.

I've been unknowingly staring at Noriko and as I come out of my confused musings, she's also now staring at me, calmly. I'm embarrassed to have been lost in my thoughts and try to recover. She's unimpressed either way and I can only sigh at myself. I will lose often to the Teacher, I think.

"Izark," she says slowly, as if to warn me there's more. But she likely also has questions, like I do. I shift and watch her and her finger again. It reaches out and draws yet another new picture. This time it's a sun, a full one rather than the half sun she drew to teach [day]. Then she draws a small circle next to it.

She asks me for my word for sun again, so I give it to her. She repeats it, trying to memorize it. She points to the small circle and the line between the suns in [day], then pats the ground we sit on and gives me a new word. I absorb, but don't decide I know it yet.

Noriko draws a circle around the small circle, with an arrow for motion and draw one of the marks from the set of days that means one day. She wants me to understand that one turn of the small circle, planet, is one day. It takes me a moment to understand that if I stand in one place and see the sun rise and then the sun set, and then the sun rise again, then the place I've stood has perhaps turned in a full circle while the sun stood still.

Again this is an understanding of nature, but this time of a large scale rather than a tiny one. I try to catch my breath before she continues on. She does wait this time for me to be ready. I hope she'll continue to be slow this time, but if she is slow, then this part's important to her, and perhaps a question rather than a teaching.

She draws a new circle, this time from the small circle, back to it, motion around the sun. She gives me another new word, then points to the period of time from before. _Ah, that's why she left it without erasing it._ She draws twelve, then a thirteenth line under the new larger motion circle. A full turn of the planet around the sun. One year. It's thirteen of those lengths of time - for her home planet. That's enough for me to know that for sure she isn't from mine.

Now it's more pictures. A swaddled infant with a symbol near it and a word from the embarrassing lesson. Then a crawling child, one finger of motion around the sun and one tick mark. Then a walking child, two fingers of motion around the sun, two tick marks. By the third I can nod that I understand. Each turn around the sun is one year of age.

Her finger then draws only tick marks. My eyebrows can't help but go up as the number of lines becomes so many as to end at one hundred. Even she looks tired and she rubs her finger, which must surely be getting sore now from all the drawing she's been doing. But, I think she's going to answer one of my other questions, or several of them.

She marks the ages that a child will stay with their parents, then the ages they leave their parents, the ages they begin to have a family of their own, how long they stay a family (indeterminate since she leaves it unbounded on the far end). And then she moves to the far end and puts the age range a man dies and that a woman dies. It's older than on my planet. Most men die in war and battle at young ages. That would be hard to explain on this diagram at this time, though, so I won't. The rest of the ages are similar, if perhaps slightly older.

Her finger counts the lines until she reaches seventeen. She circles that one and points to herself. "Noriko." She names the age and makes sure I understand with the planet around the sun, but I've already understood and am already counting.

I reach out and she watches closely as I circle the nineteenth mark. Just as I'm surprised she's as old as she is, she's surprised at my age. But I'm not done. I reach for her thirteen marks below the motion line around the sun and erase a line. For that number of days, we have only twelve time periods. I look at her carefully to see if she'll be depressed again at the confirmation she isn't on her own world.

Instead she's lit up like the Teacher again. But she doesn't lecture, instead she reaches for her smaller book and one of the writing tools in the little box. She comes to my side and kneels next to me. Quickly things are written on the page. I try to keep up. She's writing characters, not just marks this time. The marks were simple for our conversations. She has real numbers from her world.

She hands me the book and pen when she's done. I look at them, the pen in particular, trying to understand how it works. There's no ink pot, but it leaves ink behind. It seems there may be ink inside of it. I put the pen to the paper and write my world's character for '1' next to hers. I confirm before I write the ones that were skips, but the base is the same as here. Perhaps figuring is figuring wherever you go.

When I'm done, she takes them back and has me say them again, writing characters next to them that seems to be a way for her to remember how to say them. I shiver inside just a little. She'll know how to speak, read, and write in my language far before I'm ready.

She draws in the book the picture that's on the floor, then says a number only pointing to the day, not the set of days. She writes that number, and then makes marks next to the first symbols she wrote. Then she asks me how many days are in one year of my planet. I'm not sure why she wants to know to that detail when the months were enough.

She hands me the book and pen again, so I write them, making the same marks she did. I wonder if she knows how to negotiate in the market. People who understand numbers often also understand the value of money. That would be relieving.

I wait patiently for her, watching her write neatly as she calculates using her number and the number I gave her. When she's done, she blinks in surprise. The Teacher has been on her this whole time, but learning now, using her knowledge. I wonder what result that has. Seers can say things that will change what happens in the future. Does her skill do that?

Her finger comes out and erases the marks we've circled and redraws them. She circles the nineteenth mark, the one I'd circled. She confirms that's my age and I nod. She points to it again. "Noriko." Her expression is a mixture of triumph and uncertainty that peeks through. To be a different age only because she's come here might be difficult. It's hard for me to believe, though, that she would be my same age. I point to the month diagram. _How far can you go? Just how much older did coming here make you?_

She writes again briefly, then she tries to write in my numbers. Nineteen years, five months, fourteen days. I can't keep the surprise off my face. "Noriko?" I have to confirm. She nods.

I write on the floor my true age, then reach for the period of days. I circle the fourteenth day. "Noriko." She nods. I circle the mark nine days before that day. "Izark."

She exclaims in disbelief and I can only smile at her. It's good I'm older than her, even if only by that much. She hasn't the experience to survive here. I'll likely think of her as seventeen, or younger, for a long time - except when she's teaching fiercely. Then she's similar to me in age and experience.


	6. Water Fountain

When Noriko has thrown her bag with the things we won't take with us into the water, sad to see it go, I'm sure, I call her back. I have more questions and I want to distract her. The book she threw into the river was one full of the numbers and she let me know she was learning from that book, but still she sent it away. I let her decide.

When she's close enough to see the life pictures, I point to the three earliest and ask her which one she came from. I'm not surprised when she goes sad. Still, she crouches down and points to the one of a child with parents. Then she draws, mother, father, boy, girl, making the girl smaller than the boy. She points to the girl. "Noriko."

I sigh to myself. That's rather what I'd guessed. She's the youngest child of a family, and has been stolen from them. Protected until that moment, she misses them, and wishes to return. I'm sad for her sake, but there is still nothing I can do, for all I wish to.

She points to the single man. "Izark?" I nod. I've not been at home with family for far longer than those years bracketed, but I don't tell her that. She isn't surprised either.

She looks at the pictures, then draws one more. Another planet and sun. She doesn't want to ask this question, but she does, needing to know. [Do you know how to send me home?] I can only shake my head. She isn't surprised, but is sorrowful, wishing to hear otherwise.

She pokes at "my" planet in various places, then asks it again. I can only answer in the negative again. I don't know anyone that knows how to send her home. Perhaps someone might have that kind of magic, but I'm not sure I'm willing to find out. If we ask that question, they'll ask why she's here and where she came from.

She has great knowledge from her world. I ask if anyone there would know. She shakes her head. She doesn't know how she came, and she knows of no one that would know how to send her. It worries me, that we can't know how and why this is happening to us. _Who are you? Who is it that makes me have to live this destiny, that has brought Noriko here to live it?_ The question has plagued me since I learned what I was.

My question has made her even more sad and she erases the whole of what we've discussed. I approve. I don't need anyone finding this place to ask questions here. It's time to go. I put her things in my bag, and the food bag, and pick up the torch I'd set between rocks so we could talk. She follows me quietly as I head for the tunnel that will lead us up to the way out.

I have only gotten about four or five steps up when I hear a choking noise behind me, then scraping on the step. _Has the food poisoned her? _I turn quickly and Noriko has collapsed and is hanging onto the step in front of her as if to me when we first met. Her eyes aren't seeing and slowly a high sound begins to issue from her mouth. I call to her, trying to keep her present.

I'm sure that the final thing we asked each other was too much. She's been doing well, but like I must give in to the weakness when I have worked too hard, carried too much of the Sky Demon, she's been carrying the Teacher, and angry for the first half of it. Her own deep fear of being in this strange place has risen to the surface and taken control of her mind.

It's like the first time. She can't hear my words, it's so bad this time. I set my bag down and wrap my arm around her. I have to sit higher than her in this tunnel. It takes me a moment to find a place to wedge the torch so it doesn't fall down or go out, then I can hold her with both arms. She's shivering like a leaf in a storm. I try to muffle her cries in my shoulder and put her ear over my heart so she can hear that there's another living thing in this place with her. I'm grateful again that she tries to fix the noisy part first.

That was always hardest for me, to be so alone, with no one to help me understand what was happening to me, why it hurt so much. It was no comfort to know I was being turned into something horrible and evil. My own heart is fearful, and I'm trying to keep it calm. Is she that much like me? Is she also going to be turned into something she doesn't want, and that's what the Awakening will be, that takes me from myself?

I try to not believe it. She knows she's the Teacher, for all it embarrassed her the first time. The second time and after that, it was natural, as if the first time was the time she pushed too hard, and after that was the level she knows how to control. I want to save her from herself if she is like me. If I can't, I can't save me.

The more rational me has a hard time believing that by becoming even more of a teacher she can change me in that way. I might become more knowledgeable about the world, but that's not going to make me want to become destructive. That very thought makes me want to laugh, although it's the laugh of the madman as much as anything.

I don't know anything any more, and even less having a Noriko in my arms as a weeping, frightened Awakening. I can only sigh and watch the wall next to us as I wait for her to come back to her senses again. I do wonder briefly how often I'll have to put up with this. It's so uncomfortable and we'll both be embarrassed again when it's over, even if it's necessary now to recovery.

Noriko finally turns her head so that she's hiding her face in my chest. She whispers a moan of great loss and sorrow, her hands gripping my jacket tightly as if to try to replace what she has lost with me. I'm very much not comfortable with that. I don't want to become hers, to become owned by what will make me evil, even if she isn't that now. Still, there's little I can do in the moment and she doesn't know.

She's still gasping for air, still shivering, so I wait longer. She is trying hard to calm down, to have her mind her own again. I also understand this, the fight to not let it take control.

When Noriko can finally look at me, it's up through her eyelashes, not directly. I have to fight the sudden thought that it's a very fetching look. She's embarrassed and apologizes again, thanking me again for my patience and presence.

Because I understand, I can only sigh and put my hand on her head and say, "You're welcome." She pries her fingers open and lets me go, trying hard to not let the tears continue. Moving forward now is best for both of us. I rise to my feet and gather up my things again, then reach out my hand for her. "Come, Noriko."

She reaches up a shaking hand and takes my hand tightly. She lets me pull her up and help her up the next step, then the next, until she's moved enough to be able to let go and take those steps on her own. I can't help but be sadly proud of her. It is hard to walk forward into the face of that fear. She has a quiet courage, for all she has the fear.

Later, I wonder if that means that I also have that same kind of courage. I'm also still walking forward each day, each moment, even knowing what they say I am. My heart clenches and my mind rejects it, but I'm again changed slightly, a different part of me relaxing just a little, relieved to have the thought that I also have some small courage. It makes me want to keep fighting my destiny, but not in anger. In hope.

These little changes. They aren't evil changes. _Can I have hope?_

-o-o-o-

I'm more frustrated than I've been in a very long time. Noriko is plenty intelligent enough to understand that we must walk down the mountain, and we can only go by the path the mountain itself gives us. But she is even more in a panic that at the Sea of Trees. Frozen to the ground, pleading with me to change the mountain itself if she is going to go down. I can do great things, but fly with wings is not one of them, or I would snatch her up and do so. She must come down the mountain path with me, even as small as it is.

I try to not yell, try to not let my anger get loose. It _is _a narrow path in many places. I'm just not pleased her mind has calculated that it's an impossible path for her and refuses to learn otherwise. I close my eyes and try to think of alternatives.

She's intelligent. There isn't much food up here, but she could probably figure out how to live on her own. There aren't any enemies or monsters here, and it isn't likely at all that anyone would come here to find her. If she didn't survive, I wouldn't have to worry about becoming the Sky Demon, either. I initially thought we could both stay here it's so far from anyone's reach, but then I remembered the first lecture. That wouldn't be good.

Noriko refuses one more call, and I'm too angry. She covers her face with her hands, unwilling to look at what lies before us any longer. I turn away to leave her in this place and I'm hit with a sudden flash of fear, a panic from outside myself. Like I can't kill Noriko, I can't leave her behind.

I'm so full of emotions I can't tell which one is driving that fear, or if it's any of them. If it really is from without myself, I'm too afraid to face what it is that would make it so I can't leave her behind. I _have _to be able to leave her behind if I don't want to become what she's supposed to make me into.

As I try to stare that inability in the face, I can't even do that and my own mind shuts off. The next thing I am aware of, I'm helping Noriko turn to face the cliff as we both have to turn to edge along the narrowing path sideways. I have no idea how we came to be on the ledge, but I am holding her hand and we're moving forward.

I want to be afraid again. _What am I doing?_ I've forced Noriko out onto the narrow ledge she's afraid of. I'm making her walk it because we have to get down off the mountain. _But why have I made her come?_ _I was going to leave her, wasn't I?_

All of my questions make me afraid. I force myself to stop thinking. They're dangerous questions when we need to be careful on our way down. Even I need to focus on one foot after the other in places like this. I'm paying attention to that, now, looking where we are going.

That works fine for a little while, then there's something wrong. _Did I do that?_ I wanted to know if Noriko was doing okay. _Did I just instinctively make the wind come towards me from her?_

I turn to look at her and the look on her face that is farther back from the cliff face than it should be is calm - terrified, but calm - and resigned. I try to pull her back, try to get the wind to push her back towards proper balance, and she's only turned farther out. _Don't let go. Whatever you do, don't let go._ It's like the wind is whispering it to me, the same wind that betrayed our careful walk along the cliff face.

As Noriko begins to fall, I look to see what's below us. Jagged peaks rise up below us some distance down. Farther down, much farther down, are the tops of trees that make up woods that span out from the cliff face. What's below them is unknowable.

I can only take one deep breath myself, then do my best. If we're both destined to die here, then so be it. That would be better than the alternative. That assumes I'll die, of course. I might just be in a lot of pain for a long time. I'm trying to not believe I've done it subconsciously to kill her.

_One thing at a time. _I pull her close to me as I'm also now falling. I hold her close to me again and with a turn get us uprighted instead of upside down. The cliff face is sloped just enough that my feet land on the face. I put an energy shield under my feet and skid down on that. I can feel the rock tearing at me, regardless. We're moving too fast.

The jagged rocks are next. I calculate for timing and speed, then push off the cliff face as hard as I can. We're once again sailing out over the land in the air. I'm grateful we got enough clearance to pass over the rocks. Being impaled alive forever isn't my idea of an alternative to becoming the Sky Demon. I'd likely destroy the mountain to get rid of that painful boredom. I breathe deeply, preparing myself for the next thing.

I turn us again, so that my back is towards the ground. Our speed is still too fast. If I land on top of Noriko, I'll kill her. If she lands on me, perhaps she'll survive. Plus, it's my energy that will protect us from the trees. I have that shield up before we hit the first trees.

Crack! Snap! The branches break below us faster than I can hear almost. I close my eyes. I have no idea what's below us and can't turn to look. I can only focus on my shield, and extend it as far as I can so that it can slow our final descent.

I feel it begin to collapse and take in one more deep breath and hold it. As I expected, Noriko still lands rather heavily on me and expels the breath from my lungs rather forcefully. I hold still long enough for my bruised ribs to heal. The shield below us was sufficient, and the thing we're lying on is soft, and large enough to cradle my length. We are fortunate. I really can't fathom why I'm doing this, why these things keep happening to me since I came hunting the Awakening. Am I cursed just for thinking I could escape my destiny?

Noriko isn't moving, and her breath is shallow. I can't tell if she is okay from this position or not. "Noriko. Noriko." I call her urgently, trying to get her to wake up. She doesn't move, so I push on her shoulders to lift her. Her eyes snap open and then she's gasping in a rush of air. She shakes her head, then a great shiver takes over her as if her spirit is just re-entering her body. She seems relieved she is okay, then her eyes go wide.

When her position gets through to her brain, she is gasping and moving off of me to kneel next to me. I'm relieved she's finally awake again and move to push up and see where we are. She's suddenly pushing me back down. I'm not sure how to take that. She's talking very fast again, and is desperate, whatever she's saying. In all of that she has to teach me one more new word. "[Ow.]" Then she carefully walks down my body from neck down. Every bone and organ, asking if anything at all hurts, checking with her own hands.

To keep her calm just enough, I'm obedient, but the farther down she moves, the more uncomfortable I get, and the more irritated. As soon as she lets go of my torso and moves to my hip, I'm sitting up and holding her hands still. "Noriko, no [ow]. I'm fine. I can't die, and that kind of pain is healed quickly." I try to say it calmly to comfort her worry

It doesn't work this time. She whines my name, then rather dramatically disagrees with me. I sigh at her. I get that it was too far for anyone to fall down and live. It's because of what I am that we survived at all, but I can't explain that to her with our limited understanding of each other, and I don't want to besides.

Noriko is suddenly kneeling up, far too close to me, and leaning over my shoulder to look at my back. She runs her hand over my jacket and her breath catches again and she holds it this time. ...Until she's sitting on her knees again, her hands clenched and trembling in her lap. This time she really whines my name and the words pour forth again. The complete disbelief comes out in her voice and expression. It finally irritates me beyond my capacity to hold it in. If she can't believe what's in front of her eyes, what can I do?

Suddenly she isn't disbelieving. She's crying. Her voice now is apologetic and also lost, but the words are lost to her tears and I'm wishing only for quiet again. Once again she's too far gone to calm herself. I purse my lips, not really wanting to do this either, and pull her head to listen to my heart again. We really are alive and she needs to calm down.

I'm wondering if I should have let her fall, but that thought doesn't go very far before being squashed by the calm brought by the wind before, as she was falling. I don't want to have something outside myself influencing my emotions like that, but I can't do anything but accept it. We're both too distraught at this moment in time. Calm from anywhere is welcome.

When Noriko can finally be calm again enough for her talking to stop, I tell her one more time, "Noriko, no [ow]. We're alive, and we really are okay. Trust me." Her sobs begin to calm. Her hand is clenched in my jacket again as if to let me go is to let go of reality and living. My jacket front is quite soaked by this time, it being the third time today to soak up her tears. I think her other special power is the power to cry rivers of tears.

Once again, she apologizes and thanks me for not killing her - I mean for having patience with her tears. I put my hand on her head and tell her, "You're welcome," one more time. I can't help the outward sigh this time as I move to leave this moss covered rock we landed on. I'm glad it was thick moss.

I'm pretty sure she won't be able to walk forward on her own after that similar outburst to before. I hold out my hand and call to her and she takes my hand and comes down from the rock. She holds on to my hand tightly for a moment, then lets go. She's not okay, but it's better this time, that she can walk the next step without help. Perhaps she's growing a little bit stronger herself, now. I wonder if that's good or bad for me.


	7. Healer

When my focus isn't on Noriko any longer, my eyes scan as always to see what dangers may be here, what this forest holds that my senses may not catch. My eyes are immediately drawn to something that doesn't belong. There's a wagon wheel here, and not old or weathered. Used, yes.

I wonder where it came from and the wind teases me with the scent of blood. Not much blood, but enough to say something or someone is wounded. Blood is tangy, like it tastes, but in large quantities it is more than that. This is just the faint tang of wounding.

I follow the tang and the path of the wheel as it careened. A wisp of wind comes from behind me to reassure me Noriko is following me before I can even think the worry. It isn't too far to a clearing, a path through the woods enters it and leaves it, not well traveled.

On the opposite side is a tumbled wagon, with the horse still on the tongue. That's not good. It's already fought and become too tired and given up. Otherwise, it doesn't seem to be very wounded. It's the man who was thrown from the wagon when the wheel came off that is bleeding from wounds on his leg, one looking rather severe.

In my travels, both with the caravans and then as a wandering swordsman, I've of necessity learned how to take care of injuries. I don't have what I need. A month is too long for the herbs to keep their efficacy. I can find them in these woods, though.

First I need to know if he needs anything else. I put my hand to his throat. "Still breathing. Not much blood." Talking to myself is second nature now. It only happens out loud when I'm alone, and I suppose talking out loud will only help Noriko learn it herself. Perhaps I'm actually talking to her, although that's hard for me to believe when I realize I've been talking out loud at all.

I rise to my feet again, looking for Noriko. She's still at the entrance to the clearing. I tell her I'm going to go looking for herbs, but somehow she wasn't paying attention and she asks to hear it again. I point instead. Words aren't working at the moment for either one of us. We're both tiring.

She rolls the wagon wheel to rest it against the wagon, then walks to me, her brow furrowed. I'm in a hurry. I don't know how long this man has been here, or how he came to be this way, but it usually means bandits the way this reads to me. With signs, she asks me for water. I hand her the bag and tell her it's in there and head into the forest. The wind has brought me the scent of one of the herbs I need and it's rather distant. I don't want to be gone that long.

I've found that herb and harvested its berries when the wind from the clearing lets me know that Noriko said something. I sigh. I'd better find the last herb quickly, but I scented it on the way here. I get to it quickly. I barely have time to snatch it up before I hear her calling for me. The smell of a new stranger has come to me as well. I put on speed. Noriko's panic in her next call has me moving faster.

The blade in the hand of the new man, hovering over the wounded man, was the new scent of metal I'd smelled. Already moving fast, it's better to use my body than anything else at this time. I slam into the bandit's side and carry him along. I'm confused when he suddenly isn't there and I skid to a halt and look around, trying to find where he went.

Between Noriko and the wounded man, but on the far side of the clearing where I entered it the man with the sword reappears. He has an animal on his shoulder. I'm trying to remember where I've seen it before. They are rare, is all I can remember at first.

"You. You have a sword! Traveling warrior, eh?" he taunts me once he states the obvious. I ignore that part. Men like him aren't worth listening to. Only watching to see they don't do damage.

The wounded man is now also awake, and he reaches out for me. "H-help me. That guy is the head of a band of robbers. I ran into them last evening. They'd been robbing travelers. I got away but the wheel of my carriage came off." That's about what I expected. I'll protect him, but mostly because I need to protect Noriko, and because I might be able to be paid, which I also need.

"Ha ha haa," the robber chief laughs, sure of himself in this backwater place he's won for himself. "What are you going to do, help him? You're just a traveling warrior. You're no white knight. Or would you rather die here?"

I'm not eager to fight the man. He'll die in the end. "Not my lucky day. Why do I keep running into trouble?" I say as I draw my sword. To appear too eager to step in and I'll get less coin for my efforts. It's not like I want the bandit chief to remember me, either, if he should happen to get away.

"Ho ho ho! So you _want_ to fight, eh?" No, I think I just obviously stated I didn't. His sword comes up bravely. "Even if you don't want to I'll kill you anyway because you made the mistake of striking me." The weak and cowardly always need words to work themselves up into the ability to fight with false strength. He comes at me sword raised, "You're gonna die, pal!"

With one defensive blow it is simple to knock the sword from his hands. It flies from his grasp, but he's disappeared again, reappearing next to his sword to pull it from the ground, my return blow held before it went through only the air. Again he must use brave words to recover. "You're not bad, eh? But no one ever bests me in sword fighting. They can't tell where I'm going to appear, freak out, lose their concentration, then die.

He disappears and the wind tells me he is reappearing behind me with an overhand strike. That was very predictable and my sword is already in place to deflect his blow before he strikes. I defend myself a few more times, using the wind to tell me where he is going to strike, and always it's predictable. I focus, preparing for the next blow and strike preemptively. I strike flesh and he's disappearing again.

He reappears in front of me to wobble and lose his sword again. He presses his hand to his wound at his side. "I don't believe it," he cries to himself. "How could anyone stab _me_?" He whines the same as those who must talk themselves up to fight. To pick up a sword is to be cut by one. They never seem to quite understand that when it finally happens to them.

I give chase and he leaves the sword behind to save himself. I'd like to get rid of him, but there's Noriko to think of and the wounded merchant. He can move just a little farther than I can catch up to unless I spend more energy than I want to. I've already spent a lot of energy in this one day. He does yell that he will have his revenge. I can ignore that also, at least for now. He'll need to recover first, and be bandaged. We won't want to dally, though.

Noriko passes me for the wounded man, saying words that approve of the result of the confrontation. I'm a little surprised she's not freaking out about my wounding another man, but she's focused, I see. She's already cut most of the pant leg off from around the wounds and has my water thermos in her hand. I wonder where she got the knife and wonder if I left a little too soon, but I'd needed mine for the herb harvesting. It's likely the merchant's knife.

I find a flat rock suitable to make the needed poultice. By then Noriko is done with putting the water on the smaller wounds so she can free the ruined cloth from them. She hands the water to the merchant and I hand him the berries. "Take these with the water. They will lower your fever," I tell him. "I'll make a poultice for the wounds." He complains to me that the bandit kicked him in the ribs and he may have broken one. I tell him to pull up his shirt so I can see.

I glance at Noriko's hands. She's carefully cutting the cloth from around the rest of the major wound on the leg. I begin to pound the herbs with the pommel of my knife, not having anything better to use. It was hard to find just the one rock in this woods. Rriiip ... rii-ip ... rii-ip. I glance over. Noriko has slit what cloth she's taken from the ruined pant leg and torn it into strips.

I approve. It's far better to use what you have than waste what wasn't necessary to waste. It's another sign she might be frugal, which is much better than the flighty nobles who spend without thought. I realize I forgot to ask her status in her home world, but perhaps that doesn't much matter now that she's here. Here, if she stays with me, she'll be poor unless I luck into good work.

The wounded man protests about the time I'm ready to tend to his ribs and I look again just in time to see Noriko giving him her stern scolding look that says, _You're really going to wear these pants again? When that leg looks like that?_ I laugh silently, hiding it from both of them. It's funny to see someone else getting that kind of scold when it is so obvious, even to him once she's asked it. The untorn pant leg is also cut off and torn into strips.

I do have bandages in my bag, and there isn't enough cloth in his pant leg to tie the poulticed bandage around the merchant's middle, so I pull it out and wrap it around him. He's asking me about Noriko and I tell him what I told her to say. It's the only lie I could think of that would work.

As we left the caves, she stopped me and wrote in the dirt one more time, using her limited words. "Thank you, Izark. Thank you for [saving me today]. Thank you for [my life, and for tomorrow]." It was hard to return her gratitude at the last and I couldn't look at her, had to turn my back to her. She doesn't want to walk with me in my tomorrows. Later, I told her in pictures that she should never tell anyone about that day - how she came here, how we met - none of it. She should only say what I say to the merchant now.

"She's from a distant island, and doesn't know the language. I chanced on her in my wandering. Her family had all died and she was nearly dead herself, her clothing torn to shreds. I couldn't leave her in that state."

The merchant narrows his eyes at me. "Sounds fishy to me. I heard a slave trader say that some island girls he'd kidnapped had escaped. That was in the western city of Ginococo."

I give him a _give it up_ look. "She lost her family. I don't know anything about a slaver. She's far too weak to escape from one of those. ...Unless that man was very stupid." I don't like slavers. His assumption has made me angry, even if it is another acceptable one to explain her presence by my side.

Noriko calls to me. I'm done wrapping his side so I turn to look. She's placed poulticed bandaging on the smaller wounds, wrapping cloth around his leg and tying the ends with a strange knot, rather than tucking in the ends in the manner we do here. I look at that, curious, but leave it. An island girl might have a different way to tie things, given they understand ships.

Noriko points to each of the wounds, starting with the small ones and ending with the large unpoulticed one. "Noriko [yes, yes, yes, yes], Noriko [no]."

I nod and move to take her place. She hands me the large bandage she has prepared but I hold up a hand to stall her and ask the merchant for the water bottle. There's just enough in it to soak the cloth she left in the wound. _Another intelligent act._ She understands basic wound dressing, but perhaps isn't sure in this place for the deeper wounds that might be more trouble. I pour water on the cloth to saturate it. It will need to come out later and wet will make that happen better than dried.

I ask for the dressing and she hands it to me. I put the last of the poultice on it and hold it in place. I hold out my hand again and she hands me the cloth to wrap around the bandaging. I tie it on, tucking the ends in. So far the bandit hasn't sent any more men to find us, but we need to be moving.

Once again Noriko has been helpful in both accomplishing the work that needs to be done without being asked, and in seeing we move along expeditiously. I like having someone with me who can be a partner in those kinds of things. Many people I protect are merely heavy flesh to drag behind me. "Thank you, Noriko."

"[You're welcome,]" she answers in her own language.

I stop and stare at her a little. I'm surprised she did. She's heard it enough from my own lips to know it by know. I say it slower to make sure she's heard all of the syllables correctly, "You're wel-come."

Noriko shakes her head firmly and uses her own words to declare she can't say it, and says it again in her own language. I raise my eyebrow at her, but leave it be. Perhaps there are some sounds that she never learned to say properly. And maybe she needs more courage to try those. I've learned her way of saying it now, so we'll properly communicate at least that much. I suppose that's a good place to start - with kind gratitude.

Noriko asks about the water thermos. I shake my head at her. I didn't find an easy water source, it's all gone, and will have to stay that way for now. We need to go. She puts it in my bag.

"I'll get your horse up and your wagon fixed, then we should be on the road," I say to the merchant, rising to my feet again. Noriko watches me as I move over to check on the horse. I wake it up and promise that it will be freed of the wagon once we reach safety. It's glad to have someone who can reassure it, and it likes the promise enough to help me get it and the wagon righted.

Noriko has talked to the merchant while I've done that. As I put the wagon wheel back on the wagon, she hands the knife in her hands back to the merchant and he puts it away. I return to pick up the merchant who shouldn't be walking on his leg just yet. As I head for the back of the wagon, Noriko jumps up into it, having to scramble a bit because she's short. She helps me get the merchant into the wagon, but I didn't need that help. I look at her, confused as to why she would have helped with that.

She looks at me with an exasperated look and that makes it worse. _What have I done? _She hops out of the wagon and drags me far enough away from the man we can talk privately. She bends down and draws, once again simple shapes and simple words until we have an understanding. Yes, I do want to hide my extra strength from him and any man. But, I didn't use that, did I?

She begs to differ. She pantomimes that the man is heavy, then points to me, pretends to pick up the man lightly and even tosses him into the air as if he would weigh nothing. I drop into a crouch and cover my hidden face with a hand. It's very hard to keep the laughter silent this time. That looked so funny. I wouldn't have thought it was such a large difference. The logs to make the raft were much heavier.

I draw the wagon and point to the picture of the man and pantomime that Noriko helped me to make it not so obvious. When she's learned the words for "helped", "hide", and "strength", she uses them in a correct sentence, though slightly odd in word order, to say that, yes, she was helping me hide. I smile at her and thank her. Even in this she's been thinking of me.

That makes me both uncomfortable and pleased again. Uncomfortable because I don't trust her motives as to why she would help me hide. Pleased because I don't have others doing kind things for me often. It's hard to not want that sort of thoughtfulness directed my way.

I set them aside yet again. There's still a lot of learning and observing I'll be doing to understand the Awakening named Noriko. For now, she is a kind, thoughtful girl with great intelligence, and a lot of fear buried underneath it all. We are still similar.


	8. Calco

The merchant was surprisingly a clothing merchant. As soon as we re-arrived at the wagon, he was pulling out clothing for both of us, having even seen my destroyed boots. That means he saw Noriko's odd shoes. I'm worried about that, but she scolded me again when I asked her to get rid of them.

The blisters on the bottoms of her feet and the obvious difference between our shoes (very thin) and hers (an odd material but thick enough to handle a lot of years of walking in) swayed me quickly. Or I've already been trained to give in to the Teacher without much fight. It's too easy to see her way.

She also fought me on wearing pants under the dresses, but I could see that practicality as well. It may change. She didn't wear pants under the dress she came here in, but her point was we would be walking through woods like this. She doesn't need insect bites nor scratches on her legs.

In the end it was an expensive purchase for both of us to have new clothing, but the merchant was willing to take my old sword in partial payment. I kept the sword the thief left behind because it was a nicer one. I also reminded him he owed me for saving his life. It leaves me with no coin in hand, but our needs of the moment met regardless.

As I drive the wagon I wonder how it was that a clothing merchant was right where we needed one. Noriko won't have to be seen in full public in my clothing, so she won't be marked very much as anything other than an island girl. At the same time, I'm wishing we hadn't found him. He won't stop talking and every fourth word is one he wants Noriko to repeat and learn. She's intelligent but how anyone can remember all those words at one time when she can't even follow the conversation to begin with is beyond my understanding.

I'm relieved when she finally tells him to shut up. She falls asleep soon after, exhausted, I'm sure. I'm also tired but driving the wagon is enough rest for now, now that it's quiet. When the merchant tries to drag me into conversation next, I pretend I can't hear him, then shush him and scold him into letting Noriko sleep properly. He's bored, but I can't care.

Calco, by wagon, is farther than I expected it would be from where we were. It would have been difficult for us to have stayed up on the mountain, especially with only that narrow passage to come down to this place when we needed essentials. I guess it's good we came down, even if the way it happened wasn't so good. Although...maybe falling was better (faster) in the long run.

I'd like to not repeat it, though. I can still feel Noriko warmly in my arms if I think about it. I've held her too many times already today and don't like how they now feel empty, even though she's behind me. A brief unexpected wish to have her sleeping next to me, leaning on my shoulder, or even her head in my lap, comes over me and I blush. Surely I don't need such a thing. I'm already worried enough that too much physical contact with her is going to make me turn into the Sky Demon, since I don't know how that's going to happen.

Still, to have her need my warmth and to be close has also changed me in a small way. I don't know if this change is good or not. I can't know yet, so I can only be worried. I've only tried to be kind and help her in the small ways she needs so she can continue to stand and walk forward into this life she has no knowledge of. _If I can show her kindness, will she let me stay kind, too?_

That thought brings me the old despair that's hard to fight, that says I should give up trying to fight at all. I hold the reins tighter in my hand and pretend that she's scolded me for having the thought. I think she would do that, if she knew, and was as unhappy about my fate - our fate - as I am. I give up thinking at all after a while, too tired to hold on to any emotion. I only hold on to the wind's message that tells me things are quiet and well enough in the back of the wagon and there are no thieves chasing after us.

The horse begins to pick up its pace at the same time I also smell the village. That wakes me up enough to pay attention with my eyes and ears again. It's nearly dark when we arrive outside the village doctor's place. The smell of blood and great damage to men's bodies is strong here and I'm not sure Noriko will survive. It will be another test of what she came from and what she knows, what she can stand strong in front of. I don't show it on my face, though. I only get out of the wagon and knock at the door.

A passing neighbor pauses to comment in the friendly way of small town gossips. The soldiers of the country were attacked and brought here, the closest city to the Sea of Trees, when they tried to enter it looking for the Awakening. I'm not happy to hear that news, but I can't be surprised when I see the injuries as I carry the merchant into the office. There would of course have been battle between greedy nations and men to win the Awakening.

I set the merchant down on the open bed, then check on Noriko. She's staring at the covered bodies on the floor, her eyes very wide, her hands trying to protect her heart. "This is normal. Get used to it," I tell her. If she's going to travel with me, she'll eventually see injuries of this sort. They aren't just sword wounds. They're wounds inflicted by someone who knows how to use energy attacks. That part worries me. I hope that person isn't still in the area. I'll have to draw on my own powers to fight that one.

The door bursts open again and three men walk in, wearing uniforms. The head, a captain the doctor calls him, is very loud and accusatory, claiming the merchant, Noriko, and I are suspicious and should be taken into custody. The doctor tries to calm him and gets labeled badly as well. What an unpleasant fellow. Noriko has been badly frightened by him, and his one remaining living soldier in the room is very distressed by the noise as well.

I grab the man and put my hand over his mouth to close it for him. "Could you please be quiet? Look at the bed over there." I help him see it by turning him to face that way. "He's one of your men, isn't he? He's badly wounded. Your shouting must be tormenting him."

I release the captain. He can only stutter in the face of a clear and obvious statement about someone under him that he should be having consideration for. "We have no intention of defying you. Our belongings are outside. Check them as much as you like."

While he's stunned and trying to recover, I walk out of the office as if leading him and his men to the wagon. But before they can leave the doctor's office, I've blown out all of the lit oil lamps along the street where we are. I quickly retrieve from my bag Noriko's things we don't want them to find and hide them. By the time they've come out with a lantern from the doctor's office it's as if nothing happened.

Noriko peeks out through the door at me and I give her an encouraging smile to let her know not to worry. She looks like she's trying to not worry, but her body is betraying her again. Her legs shiver and she can't come join me, nor move from the doorway. That's good enough for now. It's better for her to hold on to the door frame than me.

-o-o-o-

We're finally released to go into town and find an inn to sleep. The doctor warned me that they're already filled with soldiers. Not only are they there to find the Awakening, there's been unrest nearby and they're housed in Calco tonight and move out for their assignment in the morning.

He's told me how to find both inns and wished me good luck. If we can't find a bed in an inn, we'll sleep under the stars instead. I don't want to make Noriko do that, but I'd rather sleep outside of town than get picked up by the soldiers and discovered.

The first inn is full, so we move on. We pass a tavern where there's a fight breaking out. Locals spill out from it, complaining about the soldiers who don't care about the villagers. Apparently they complained to the soldiers about the band of thieves that attacked the merchant and were told that wasn't the duty of the soldiers to take care of. It's so irritating that the soldiers have such a lack of caring for the very people they're supposed to protect. Damaging the property of the poor villagers isn't any better, either.

As we pass the doorway, I blow out the candles in the tavern, leaving the fighters in the dark, which interrupts the fight. It likely won't help all that much, and is perhaps petty, but I tire of seeing it everywhere I go now. Honor and mercy are being lost and it's both sad and maddening.

Noriko and I were too tired to eat, although Noriko tried to not be wasteful. I was grateful for just that much. She did drink a lot of water, though. I was almost too tired to observe that she poured my alcohol into her water just enough to smell it, then drank it. It was only because she politely asked, and because she did it four or more times that I really saw it to understand it. Again, she was worried about what the drink here would do to her, like the trail food earlier.

I don't think that's why she ate so little, though. If she's really like me, she couldn't eat because the body rejects food when it's trying to recover from using so much energy to fight what's trying to take over inside. I don't like that similarity, but I'm too tired to say one way or the other. Fatigue in general would be sufficient and she hadn't slept all that long in the wagon. Not a full night's sleep anyway, and she was quiet after she woke up, another sign she's worn out.

As we go around the corner of the tavern she tugs on my jacket where she's holding on so we don't get separated in the dark of the strange city she doesn't know. She asks me a question in her own language, then blows and snatches with her free hand. That's twice she's seen it happen. She's observant to pin it on me. Reluctantly I nod. She's also going to see more than that if we stay together. She's seen the fire and now the wind with that much.

Just like with the fire, she doesn't comment further, nor does she seem worried by it. I wonder why? Are such things known in her world? She only gives me a tired smile in answer to my look, then holds her hand in a fist, raising the thumb in the air. I don't know what that means and it's a very strange reaction to have. She gives up with a slight shrug. Some things don't cross the language barrier.

There's one room left in the second inn. I take it without argument. We need to sleep. The nightman is talkative before sending us to the room at the end of the hall. There are two beds and a privacy screen. That will work well enough. I sit on the edge of the bed to the left and fish out my clothes that she was wearing earlier.

She's frowning at me, but she takes the clothes. To finish reassuring Noriko, I pull her books and pen case out and hand them to her. She thanks me, but instead of taking them, she sneak attacks me and places her hand on my forehead. I jerk back and scowl at her.

I don't want her to know, I don't want her to be the cause, and I don't want to believe it - that I've overworked and the change is coming. If I'm going to change now, it's only because I've had to work too hard today. I'm stubbornly fighting it already, the same as I do every time this happens. It's habit now and only time and rest are the cure. I hope we'll be left alone here in the inn that long.

This time, Noriko doesn't fight my unspoken scold. She takes her things and goes to her bed. I'm relieved and drop my bag, leaving it there. I unclip my sword and put it close to hand between me and the wall. I flop down with my back to her. I want even her to not be here now. It's too much a burden to carry when I'll need everything I have to just stay myself.

I do have to get up to use the chamber pot. That much I can't refuse. Then I'm back in bed. Noriko eventually gets up from her bed to do the same and to change behind the privacy screen. When she's back in bed and quiet, I finally slip into sleep.

I'm suddenly awake again, my back pressed up against the wall, completely surprised out of my sleep by someone I don't want close to me right now. A shivering, crying Noriko wails a pitiful set of words as she curls up into a ball around her aching heart that has lost its home and family. Once again I can only have compassion, but I'm too tired to do more than let her lie there until she calms down.

I shake her awake and make her go back to her own bed, then sit with her long enough for her to really doze off. With a sigh, I blow out her candle so the room is dark and climb back into my own bed. I hope that was sufficient so that we both can sleep off the exhaustion.

-o-o-o-

The sounds of heavy footsteps leaving the inn wake me up. _Morning already. That must be the soldiers leaving._ I tiredly rise to my feet to peek through the curtains on the window between our beds and watch the soldiers mount up and move out of the city. They're taking their dead in coffins with them. Calco should be quiet now. That's good. I'm so weak already I can tell it's the old ailment coming on. Sleeping wasn't sufficient to heal me. I'll be able to let Noriko walk about town if she wants without the soldiers here.

I hear a rustle from behind the privacy screen and turn. "I didn't know you were up," I say to her. She nods and then the world spins. I land on the floor painfully. My legs gave out suddenly. All my energy is gone, completely. I would normally just lie here until enough energy returns that I can drag myself into the bed. Not this time. This time I hear Noriko cry out my name and feel her footsteps coming towards me.

Without really knowing, without having the energy to control even the demon of fear within me, out of my mouth comes a very angry, "Don't - _Don't touch me!_" I struggle and strain to get myself up, and to the bed. I'm too heavy for her to lift and don't want her touching me anyway.

As last night, I don't want her to know, don't want her to touch me, don't want to have it confirmed that _she_, the Awakening is going to make this happen more and more frequently until I'm no longer myself. I don't want her here, in my life, and my fear and anger are rejecting her.

Once I'm up on the bed, my head clears a little. Noriko is standing petrified and I remember that not only can she not understand what I said, it's the first time I've raised my voice to her. From her perspective someone who's only been strong before her collapsed in total weakness. She can only be worried. My heart repents. "I'm sorry."

Noriko shakes her head, though her eyes remain wide. She forgives, though is still confused. She takes a step toward me and I scowl at her. I still don't want her close; the fear is still more strong than the compassion. That makes her pause. She obeys to stay still, but motions and tries to remember her words. I can't unscramble them, too tired to make my brain work that hard. She tries again, taking a deep breath to recover from her own shock. She clearly says her own words, an order to me followed by a motion at my bed.

My brain is slow to translate, and my body even slower to act. Her small courage comes to face me again and she dares me, taking a step towards me - a threat that she will disobey if I won't obey also. I note it, but my body has already finally moved to act on the slow request of my own. I do agree. Lying down is much better than sitting up. Finding even that small energy to move to do it is hard. If I could let her help it would be better to lean on her energy and strength, but to fight my fear is even more energy.

Once I'm lying down my fear continues to glare at her. I've obeyed, now she must also and stay away. I'm surprised by the flash of pain that crosses her face just before she turns to run from the room. My fear relaxes, but the rest of me worries now. My fear doesn't care, is only glad she left. Weary, I don't run from the worries, but I also can't dredge up enough strength to even call the wind to tell me where she's gone. Still...when she leaves the building, I know she has. I sigh lightly and do what I can do. Rest.

-o-o-o-

Light footsteps coming down the hallway alert me that Noriko has come back. They are nervous footsteps that come then retreat, but in an odd way. She opens the door rather suddenly and my eyes open to look at her to understand. She's nearly dancing, and her attention is on something in the hallway.

Slower steps are approaching. I groan to myself and work to pull myself up so that I can receive whomever it is at least upright. I have to prop myself up against the headboard of the bed to stay upright. I hope this will be brief. The little rest I had seems to be enough for this much, perhaps.

As Noriko turns her attention to me, coming farther into the room, she's followed by the doctor and another man in nice clothing. "Oh! What's wrong with you? You look exhausted!" The doctor's face has seen the sun and he comes straight for me. Noriko must have been anxious enough with him to make him worry also. I don't want him touching me either, nor can he help me. As his hand comes for my forehead, I block him with a scowl.

"Izark!" Noriko scolds from the foot of my bed and folds her arms, the Teacher glaring at the fear that's glaring back. The fear backs down. Even it doesn't have the strength to face the Teacher today. I just want them gone.

I tolerate the doctor checking my temperature. "Oh, that is a high fever. I wondered why the girl was so worried. You're very ill. What are the symptoms?" He grabs my wrist to check my heart rate.

"Doctor, I'm fine. From time to time this happens. My fatigue accumulates and bursts out all at once. I've been like this my whole life." I take my arm back.

"Oh, I've never heard of anything like that," the doctor's puzzled.

"No, and there's nothing you can do. I merely need to rest until my body recovers. There is no other treatment. It's my old ailment."

"So, you're a sick man, eh?" a loud voice from behind the doctor says suddenly. The aging wealthy man who came in with the doctor has scared Noriko with his sudden loudness. I'm not liking it either. In small rooms it really isn't necessary to be loud.

The doctor turn to calm the man. "Mayor, you're always brutally honest."

"Mayor?" I ask. My ears surely can't have been right. Why would the mayor have followed Noriko and the doctor here?

"That's right," the mayor says, not really quieting down very much. His face speaks disapproval. "The doctor told me about you. I want you to get rid of the thieves for us."

The merchant told the doctor last night that I cut the leader of the band of thieves. I hadn't expected that to bring the mayor to ask for aid. Perhaps they'd been looking for me to begin with when Noriko found them. It is work I need, but not today.

The mayor points at me and complains to the doctor. "Doctor, this man is too sick for the job. I thought the man who hurt the leader of the gang would be big and strong, but, oh boy, look at him. And what's with his little girlfriend?"

"You shouldn't be talking like that in front of the man," the doctor tries again to calm the mayor down. The mayor is another man who says too many words for saying nothing.

"But I'm right! How can I rely on a sick cradle-robber for this mission?"

I roll my eyes and try to bring the conversation back to something useful and get rid of him. Noriko is also beginning to be unhappy the talking is going on so long. "How much can you pay?"

"What?" I've interrupted them and they missed it.

"I said, how much is the pay for the job?"

"It's 5,000 zol," the doctor says. The equivalent of five gold. That's rather good, actually, for a poor village.

"I know it's not much, but it was all the villagers could give," the mayor is emphatic in his zeal and concern. "It might seem peaceful around here, but the band of thieves has attacked so many farms. There's about twenty men in the gang. They also attack traveling merchants and steal their goods and money. Anyone who tries to fight back gets killed or sold into slavery. We're very poor..."

"I accept your offer. It's my kind of job." That stops the mouth of the mayor ...for about one second.

"How...how can a sick man take on that kind of job!" He's loud again in his disbelief because of what his eyes see.

Noriko is suddenly in motion, arriving to stand between me and the mayor and doctor, her arms spread wide. Her scold is quite firm and her disapproval for the mayor obvious to all three of us. She hasn't understood the conversation, only finally lost patience with the mayor being too loud and scolding in tone.

The mayor blushes a deep red as I pull back in shock. Her strength in my behalf is even more than the strength from before, as much almost as the first lecture.

"See, she got mad because you've been yelling at him," the doctor knocks the mayor in the arm with his elbow, a more gentle scold than Noriko's.

"Uh, well...what should I say?" the mayor finds it difficult to recover.

I laugh to myself. Even I know how hard it is to recover when Noriko scolds like this. "Give me some time, Mayor. This is only temporary, I'll be fine in a day or two."

"Oh, if that's the case, then we'd be happy to wait," the doctor takes over to keep Noriko calm, I suppose. "We're glad you've accepted our offer. Some neighboring villages hired warriors in the past, but none succeeded. That man with the animal on his shoulder, he's the boss. When the patient you brought in told me about you yesterday, I thought maybe you could defeat them. That's why we were looking for you."

The mayor interrupts, "But, this money is precious because the poor villagers donated it in spite of their poverty. We shouldn't hire someone who's not really -"

"Mayor," I interrupt again. We need to cut this short. There's another thing they need to know. "You can pay me later. By the way, someone's behind the door."

"What? Who's there?" the doctor calls. "What do you want?"

The man chooses to open the door instead of run. It's the nightman who works for the inn. "He-hello. I didn't want to bother you when you were in the middle of a conversation. I work here. How would you like to have your meal? Other guests are eating in the dining room downstairs."

It's a weak reason to have been listening to our conversation, but it's sufficient for the doctor to ask if Noriko has even eaten yet. He requests that a meal be brought up for me. It will go uneaten, but I'm too weary to argue.

I need them gone. "Please, see that Noriko is fed her meal." I look at Noriko and get her attention. "Noriko, go." I point to the doctor and the door. "Go."

She puts it together as quickly as normal. She points to herself, the doctor and walks two pairs of fingers side by side, then points to the door. I nod tiredly. She tugs on her ear to indicate she wants to hear the word again. "Go."

She gives a nod she'll go, but pauses. "Water?" she asks. I shake my head. She frowns and puts her hand on her forehead. "Water?" She knows even that.

I sigh and can't keep the tired from off my face any longer. "[No], Noriko. [No] water." She gives in and pushes the men out the door with her. I'm already slumping down to lie on the bed. That was more than I could do. When the food arrives later, I barely register it. My body is wanting to change, slowly churning inside. I can only lie here, wishing it away, glad it's slow again this time, that resting is preventing it from doing more harm.

There is a moment in time that morning where a vague worry for Noriko rises in me, but she isn't here, having left with the doctor. I don't want her here, so the worry slips away again. When I wake briefly later, she's sleeping on her bed across the room. That's sufficient.

I'd thought because she had enough energy this morning that perhaps she wasn't like me, but perhaps she isn't at the full exhaustion yet. I still haven't asked her if this is her midnight and our midnight her morning. To learn to sleep at a different time would also be hard. I'm asleep again before she wakes up and she doesn't disturb me, kindly allowing me the rest I need.


	9. Thieves

_Mom. Where are you?_

"Eeeek! No! Don't come near me!"

_Mom_... My heart aches.

"Stay away from me, Izark!" She sobs into her hands, unable to look at me. "Aarrggh! It was stupid of me to agree to have a child like this in return for gold. How horrible!"

_What? For gold? ...A child like this?_ It's painful to be rejected, confusing. People flee from me telling me to stay away, telling each other to stay away from me. I'm alone, a child, left to be consumed by the darkness with no aid, no comfort.

It's a nightmare and I'm suddenly awake, but the pain is old, the loneliness constant. I look around, trying to reorient myself. I'm in a bed in what must be an inn. My sword is next to me where it should be. But the wind says there's something different this time and I look for what it is.

I'm up suddenly, backed as far away as I can get from the girl who's fallen asleep on the floor at the foot of my bed, her head resting on the bed. She is vulnerable in her sleeping. _Why...?_ The sudden flash of complete confusion is just as suddenly replaced with a flood of remembering.

It's a remembering that's the opposite of my dream. This person hasn't left my side since coming here. This person has protected me in her small ways. This person doesn't look at me with eyes that fear. This person has no understanding of why she should reject me as fiercely as the rest have. I slump. _It is ironic that the Awakening should worry for me._

The food that had been left on the head of my bed is gone. The lamp is lit. _It's night already. I wonder what time it is?_

The wind swirls and tells me why I've woken up. There are many men coming down the hallway as silently as they can. The closest ones are close enough for me to hear their clothing, footsteps, and then breathing.

My sword is already in my hand and I'm poised to defend. Noriko stirs and then the door bangs open. She moves to safety by the wall under the window and I must focus on the battle or we'll both be taken.

I'm not recovered enough. I manage to escape the blades of the vanguard and take them out, but I slump to my knee, holding myself propped up with my sword. Even breathing is hard when I have to move this much before I've recovered.

"So! This is the guy who slashed our boss, eh?"

"Son of a ...this baby faced dude hacked two of us already?"

"Are you that guys thugs?" I ask, remembering there were supposedly twenty. I wonder if they all came or just a few when they heard I was ill and weak. That's going to be difficult odds.

"He's weak now! We don't need to be afraid of him!" One tries to talk the others up.

"You're right. I'm in bad shape, so I won't be able to control my power." I'm warning them, but they won't hear or understand until they lie dying. If they'd waited for me, they would only have been incapacitated and lived to see another day.

"Kill him!" "Prepare to die!"

I'm rushed and on the defensive again. One man grabs me from behind and I grab him back and roll, putting him on the ground. That exposes my back to another blade that I barely manage to dodge. Friendly damage is done as that blade goes into the arm of the man I put on the ground and he screams.

I manage to get back up on my feet and the next people in line get what they came in asking for. I'm almost more focused on my labored breathing than the fighting, because I'm fighting myself at the same time as the men. The power wants to break out in wild spurts at times like this. That's why it kills. Every swing allows it to be released and I can't hold it back. I need to not destroy the room or building, though. I can't afford the repairs. ...I'll be unhappy about the lives lost later.

More voices from in the hall call out and my heart falls. I'm worried they did bring everyone. "Why are you taking so long?! Drag him out here. I'll pulverize him." Such brave foolish words.

One at the door who knows now turns around and complains back. "Gimme a break! He's just pulverized eight of us without having any strength at all. I'm outta here!" he leaves and I'm relieved, but don't really believe it.

Outside the room I hear, "Hey Han! Did you lie to us?"

"No! No, he really is sick, weak as a baby all day, I promise!"

It's the leader of the band of thieves and the night man. He's let them in after letting them know. He'll also have to be punished, but I expected it. It's a worst case scenario and they do seem to happen like that.

The man who left the room says, "No, boss, he really is staggering, can't hardly walk. But he's still beating us."

There's a pause, then the leader calls out to encourage his gang. "Listen, men! This is our only chance to kill him. If he gets better, he'll be even stronger and it'll be over for us. Don't be afraid. Eventually he'll be worn down and we'll get him."

It was enough and the men still in the room come for me. I defend, moving until I reach the far wall from my bed where I started. I slam back into the wall, letting it hold me up while I catch my breath again. A man who was outside my reach has gone around to Noriko's bed and is grabbing up the sheet that covers it, his eyes planning devious things as they look at me. At the same time as she grabs the cover from her corner to prevent it, to protect me again, the thief boss also remembers her. "Oh, yeah! Get the girl! We can use her!"

I groan to myself. As she throws the bedcloth over the man who was going to throw it over me, I'm already moving. I don't bother with putting people on the floor this time. This time I only need to get to Noriko and the window.

As I wrap my arm around her, I have to wonder. _Why am I doing this? I should want the Awakening to die. I could let them kill her for me. I could let them think they've killed me and show up later to teach them what they don't know._ We're through the window and I barely have enough strength to use my energy to halt our fall before we land.

I push weakly on Noriko, who's hovering over me, worried again, worried still. "Go. Go hide. I'm too weak to move. Go." _I went to the Sea of Trees to kill the Awakening, but this girl knows nothing. She was dealt this fate against her will, without her knowledge. It's as unfair for her as for me, who knows and doesn't want it._ I may be able to move again by the time they get here. Every little moment to rest lets me have another moment of movement.

Her firm words are followed by her rolling me from my side to my back. She places my hand holding the sword so that the sword rests along the top of my body. Then she's at my head, lifting my shoulders up until my head rests on her chest. She firmly wraps her arms around me under my arms and pulls back as hard as she can. With labored effort, she begins to pull me off the street. I can only close my eyes and feel amazement.

_Why? I can't die. ...I haven't told her that yet. But, why? Why does she stand strong and protect me instead of herself?_ Her arms are warm and I feel a comfort I haven't felt since I was very young. There isn't anything I can do but accept this gift she gives me. Even the anger can only sit disgruntled in a corner and pout.

Being dragged down stairs worries me, that we'll off balance and tumble down, but somehow she manages and is taking us under a bridge, behind things stored there, and pulling me up to rest against the back wall. She pats my hand, still holding my sword, as if to congratulate me for not losing it. I give a small laugh deep inside me. I'm not sure I even have the energy to let the tight grip I have on it go. It wasn't going anywhere.

But Noriko still isn't done. She's up and rolling large barrels to block the way between us and the opening. Then she's quickly gathering up things in her arms to run and stand between me and the barrels. _What is she doing now?_ I'm learning even more things about the Awakening that I didn't know. _Where has this strength come from?_ I know it's an internal strength. By the time she was putting me against the wall her arms were trembling with fatigue.

I can only watch and be amazed, trying to understand. _She doesn't know. She can't be protecting me because she wants me to become the Sky Demon. What does she see? I hide the demon. I'm only being the me I want to be. Is that what she's protecting?_ I find that even more amazing, that she believes that what I want to be is worth protecting. I would like an ally like that. The warmth of her arms around me that I can still feel agrees.

My eyes close and I can hear that our hiding place has been found, but I am resting in Noriko's warmth and not worried. Eventually the men come around the barrels. One of them cries out right after Noriko has moved. I open my eyes to see what she's done. Her arm is up, her hand is holding one of the things held in her arms. With a smooth throw the thing is flying for the head of the other man. He also cries out as it hits him. Her arms are already too tired, so there is too little strength to actually do harm, but it delays their approach.

Over and over Noriko throws things, alternating targets until the final things are thrown. They missed by a little, but none of the rest did. That's a rather impressive skill. I would like to see that when her arms aren't tired. I wonder how she learned that. Does she use it for defense in her home world? It doesn't seem likely.

She slumps in defeat, not knowing what to do next. It's my turn. I've rested enough and this needs to end. I won't have to hold back now that we aren't in the inn. I'm up and cutting the two men down. I keep going. They've found us from above as well, following the torch light from the torches held by the two men I just put down. I turn just outside the entrance and jump up to surprise the men above. I don't waste my advantage. I've only done about half of them and they are all here.

My power rises and I feel the first changes coming on as my canines slide and grow pointed against my lips. Once again men have pushed me too far, but I must take them down. My hair lifts above my ears and I'm seeing differently in the night lit only by oil and torch light. The men are clearer to my sight. Those changes are distantly recognized as I cut down the men who stand against me, two and three down in one blow because the power is only loosely restrained.

There's a sound from farther away and my sword is bound by a weighted chain. I'm still tired enough that again registering it from brain to body is slow. In the next instant the leader is appearing in front of me and his sword is sliding into my chest. I really don't like pain, for all I heal from it fine. My body has the same reaction as everyone else. It's annoying. I cry out in reaction to the sudden attack on my physical person and am frozen in shock.

The leader is triumphant and pulls his sword. I fall to the ground, the shock to my system weakening me again for a moment. His sword is raised to plunge into my body yet again when there's a sound that surprises me into inaction for just a moment. Noriko's body slams into the bandit chief, knocking him to the ground. He cries out in pain. She opened his wound I gave him. Then he's distressed about something else. I'm surprised it's enough he ignores Noriko and doesn't retaliate.

I'm worried for her in the next instant, though. A different bandit is swinging for her. She instinctively ducks and rolls away, towards me. She comes up in a kneeling defensive pose next to me, but I'm already on my feet, also instinctively poised to protect her. It doesn't take very long to recover from the shock and only a few minutes longer for the wounds to begin healing.

Surprisingly, my strength is already returning. I'm able to stand firm. Deep breaths bring even more strength to my body. I hear the chain coming again. This time I catch it and allow it to wrap around my arm then pull. No man has the strength to withstand me, and at this level it's even more so. The weapon is pulled out of his grasp and flies past me to cut a bandit behind me, stopping him in his tracks.

I scan those who remain standing. "A ...a monster? He's a monster!" I growl, becoming angry. It's their own fault for bringing it out. They're at a loss. The leader is called to, but he only gets up and runs away, the creature missing from his shoulder. _Was it that creature that let him move through space?_

The rest call for retreat and run. There are very few of them now. I take a few steps after them, but they aren't worth wasting any more strength or time on. I breathe until I've calmed the anger enough and the changes leave me.

Behind me I hear a click and I turn to see Noriko holding a sheathed knife. My eyebrow lifts. She picked up one of those to protect me with as well? Her look of firm determination makes me blink at her. She points to her chest then at mine. I shake my head. It will be completely healed soon.

She gives a nod as if that's just fine, no questions, no crying in worry. I can only stare at her, not understanding. _She has only ever worried and fussed. What's different this time? She saw a sword go through me and she believes me without question, that I'm fine?_ Her expression says she knows I don't believe her, that she knows she's odd.

I look at her knife, unhappy to have it in her hand. I open my mouth to complain and have to stop, snapping my mouth closed. I turn away. Her small courage is very large tonight, her anger giving her additional strength. But...on her it's a funny thing because she is and looks so small and weak.

Noriko walks up to me and shoves me, angry that I'm laughing at her determination. I don't mean to, but it's such an odd juxtaposition. I glance at her scowl and it leaves her as she finally relaxes, my own laughter letting her know the fighting is over. Her hands to go her hips to begin a simple scold and my eyes are caught by blood on her sleeve. I'm angry again as I grab at her arm. _Who has injured her? When did this happen?_

I'm now the one looking angrily into her eyes. She shakes her head and points to the sleeve. There's no hole in it. I feel a sense of foreboding, and I don't like it. I roll up the sleeve to see for myself and she protests. It's bandaged, but was reopened, likely when she was pulling me to safety. _What has she done!?_

She tries to avoid looking at me, doesn't want to answer. She sighs finally and says, "Doctor." I scowl at her. _What have they done? Wasn't I trusting him to help me take care of her?_ Noriko slumps and says tiredly, "Doctor [say to] Izark." She points from her mouth to my ear.

I'm immediately walking her back to the inn, not letting go of her. "Call for the Doctor, _now_," I call to the villagers, who are finally brave enough to come out and see what happened now that the street is quiet again. I reassure them on the way that the thieves are gone and won't be returning this night. I also reassure them we're fine, although we don't really look it. My shirt is bloodied, and I'm worried for Noriko, not understanding the feeling in my chest.

-o-o-o-

When we reach the room the innkeeper has moved us to, since the other one must be cleaned before it can be used again, I hold out my hand for Noriko's knife. She has willingly allowed herself to be harmed and a blade is not for her. She refuses to give it up, pointing to my wound and arguing that she must also be able to stand to defend me at times that are surprising.

I am grateful but times like those are very rare for me. Until I can understand, I can't be comfortable with her and a blade. I can only see my mother being harmed by the one in her hands. We argue around several times until the door opens and the summoned doctor arrives.

He heads for me first, demanding I remove my shirt. "It's just an old wound," I answer, trying to stay calm enough to not draw his suspicion. "This is the blood of one of the men I fought." I bunch up the shirt so he can't see the holes nor the blood on the back of it. The sword went all the way through me.

Noriko is suddenly in front of me, putting her hand on top of the wound, her fingers lightly touching it, then she's turning me away from the doctor, pushing me to get dressed quickly, and turning to him to show him her own wound. I'm sure she was hiding that my wound was healing even as we spoke, and testing to know it for herself. Her own worry for the wounding must still have been present, even if she chose to believe me. I'll have to puzzle that one out when I'm not so upset with her. This stone in my stomach will need to be removed first.

When I've covered myself again to hide the healing wound, I return to the doctor. "What did you let her do?" I demand quietly, not able to hide the anger brought by the worry.

He finishes tucking in the edges of the wrapping and sighs. "She's very convincing, no?" He rolls down her sleeve and she thanks him. He rubs his head as she leans back in her chair and closes her eyes. She knows this will be a long explanation. I ignore her, then, other than to keep my senses on her so that she can't move or run away.

I'm stunned the longer into his story he goes. "And you really believed her? That this would work?"

He looks a little ashamed. "Well, she was very convincing, and ...I would like to see it come to some fruition. It would be good to reduce the worst suffering of our children and people if it is possible. I would rather have not had her be a sacrifice if it turns out badly, but she was quite adamant that she be allowed the experiment. I would like to hear if it worked and how well.

"There are others like her who may be willing to also experiment. If we could rid the world of even one of the diseases... And the worst one, that affects older people - that would be a great benefit if our bodies could learn to fight it before it even became a problem."

The stone in my stomach isn't going away. Altruism is well and good, but Noriko isn't from here. How her body reacts won't be what happens for the rest of us. She's already been very careful with the food and water, not knowing what it will do to her different body. "Does she really want to die so badly?" I ask harshly.

The doctor looks at me in surprise. "No," he answers quietly. "Izark, I understand you're upset by what she's done. Noriko hasn't done this because she doesn't care or wishes to die. She's done this because she wishes to live. She already understood diseases. She said her family died from the adult disease when they came here."

I'm silenced, my eyes going wide. "She was worried, I think, that you were so ill because she'd given something to you from her island. She asked me very carefully for all of the symptoms and when I was done she seemed relieved, that perhaps you were only exhausted like you looked."

I put my hand to my head, almost wanting to cry. If she knew of childhood diseases, that they can be transferred from people to people from far places, then yes, she would have worried that I'd gotten something from her. Not being able to say things clearly is hard for us.

If being able to prevent disease is something her advanced civilization can do, she would have tried it so as to not die in our future from it. But it's still wrong, still not what she should have done. The weight in my gut tells me so. And...it's another thing that makes her different and memorable. If others come seeking one who is odd who may be the Awakening, it's odd enough to make them remember her. And that's what is the worst.

I'll need to finish my job as fast as possible and get us out of here tomorrow, if possible. My strength has returned sufficiently. Resting tonight will be enough. I finally give the doctor a nod and thank him for seeing to us. He needs to see if there are any thieves he can save now. It isn't likely.

When the door closes behind the doctor, I turn to Noriko. She's waiting for me quietly in her chair. I walk over and put my hands on the back of the chair to either side of her. "Noriko...[no]!" I'm quiet but firm. "You can't use the Teacher to convince others to do strange things that will give you away. You've put us both into danger here in this place by doing that. I don't know what other dangers you've put yourself into." I can't look at her for a moment, my face reacting to the hurt in my heart, the clenching of my gut.

The doctor told me he'd written it all down for her, teaching her as he went, what the symptoms were and the treatment, and put the proper herbs together. She has it here, meaning it must be in the bag. She was thorough, not leaving healing to chance, but will it be enough? "If you're different enough, I won't know how to heal you."

I want to cry again and I suddenly realize it's the child in me, that wanted her warm arms around me. That part of me doesn't want to lose her now that she's here. I shiver as fear counters that. It's frightening to want the Awakening by my side when for so long I wanted it as far from me as possible. I bow my head and her hand comes up to touch my cheek gently, trying to comfort the child that cries inside. I freeze, unsure what to do, wanting and not wanting it.

"Izark," she says gently. "Noriko [okay]."

I turn my head away from her sharply and bite my lip. She still can't understand and it's painful and frustrating. _How can I teach her not to do this in the future?_ Unless I say more than I want to, I must be patient until she can understand my language. It will be very hard, I think. I can't let her be alone without me again until then. She doesn't know the power she has.

Noriko sighs and stands up. I back up to let her, not wanting her to move, not wanting her that close. I'm fighting myself again to not take her in my arms to hold her tight enough to kill her as I satisfy both the young child and the angry monster inside. She gently takes my sleeve and pulls me with her to the bed in this room. She puts her knife on the headboard to be close at hand and lies down, not letting me go, the hold feeling like the chain being laid slowly on me merely because she's here.

She tugs until I sit next to her and slowly she slips into sleep, her tears leaking from her eyes. They're my tears as well. I feel defeated tonight. She's protected me, but she's also damaged herself and I'm confused and lost. When she does things that make me feel happy she's here, I'm then shown things that make me wish it all wasn't so. I don't know what to do.

I cry inside with her tears until she's asleep enough I can escape. It's too hard to be by her side tonight, and I'm glad they've given us separate rooms. I can feel her sleeping as I walk down the stairs. The innkeeper explains that this room they'll give me is one they use when on night shift, waiting for late-night customers.

That's good. If the night man comes back while I'm there I can kill him for giving us to the thieves. The demon wants to have a say in what I'm feeling now. Or perhaps it's the part of me that's so determined to not ever be the demon. I can't tell tonight.

I hear the clearing of a throat and don't want what's next. "Well, I think it isn't right that the two of you slept in the same room last night. I know she may not want to be alone, but it isn't right for strangers of opposite sexes to stay in one room."

Like I need the lecture from a man we don't even know when there was only one room in the entire town available. I've already turned my back to him, not wanting him here, fighting the anger the rises, the pain of the child who wants to have her close. "You don't have to worry about it. She's not my type," I say coldly. She's a child, one who can't even understand what she's done.

He's like a fish that flips, wanting back in the river. "What a rude remark! She's pretty enough. What don't you like about her, eh?"

I scowl, but the voice of the doctor sounds next, to my relief. "Mayor, Mayor. You shouldn't raise your voice to him like that. He's still recovering."

"But, he looks so much better now!" the mayor protests.

I look back at them. "You're right. I'm in the recovering stages now. I guess I started to recover during the battle." It happened surprisingly quickly this time. Usually it would have taken another half a day. It's thanks to that I was able to finish the battle with a good result.

"I'm still too weak to go after the thieves who escaped tonight, but there's only one place they could go. Their hideout. Find out about that place from the survivors. I'll be recovered before dawn. I need to complete my assignment." I'm firm on this. We must leave as soon as we can.

They agree and leave me alone to recover. But they only go across the hall to the kitchen to chat and my ears hear them. I want to know what they say so the wind brings me their words. _Have we already been too different in their eyes?_ I lie down while listening, needing the final resting.

"I still want to talk to him," the mayor says.

"Tomorrow," the doctor says to him.

"Yes, yes. I've been thinking about that girl." The innkeeper's wife gives them some tea and they thank her. "She has no family, right?"

"She said her family died when they came here. He came upon her and she followed him, with nowhere else to go."

"_Harumph._ She reminds me of my daughter. Years ago she ran away from home with a no-good boy. She died in an accident. That man she ran away with was very handsome. Since then, whenever I see a handsome man, I can't help feeling disgust towards him." I'm not feeling very kindly disposed towards him either. That wasn't my fault.

The mayor returns to his present thoughts. "So, the girl is just a burden for Izark. He's a warrior. That's a hard life of wandering, not fit for a young girl. He could have another battle like tonight's at any time. He can't travel with her forever." They move on to talking about the thieves, but don't mention either of us again for now.

Somehow, in hearing that much, both of my sides have suddenly come to agreement. Noriko will not be staying here. Here is too close to the Sea of Trees. Eventually others will come to investigate more carefully. There are many devious men in high places who want to use me for evil.

The worst one is the evil that wanted me watched over at my parent's manor. That one will also come to the Sea of Trees to see if it can call me back into its clutches. I _will not_ go quietly, and I will not leave the Awakening behind to drag me back to where I do not want to be.


	10. Keimos

I'm awake and feeling recovered. I dress quickly for a morning of fighting, tying my hair back tightly with my bandanna. My belt is snug around me, my knife at my back, and the new sword ready at my side.

People are still here in the inn. It's become a de facto center of activities. Even the mayor is still here keeping company with the doctor. It's before dawn and they've been awake since they were called. I'm actually impressed they care for the village that much. Many leaders don't, only caring for what the position can give them. But as I told them, this is my kind of job.

I want to help those who struggle to do their best and bring positive changes to those who can't do it for themselves, even if the pay is low. I understand that people who want to do their best don't always have the money to pay for the best or even anything good. I'm willing to help those people.

I still have to earn something to live, but what they can give is enough, and there are often hidden sources of additional income they haven't thought of. Like whatever is hidden in the thieves' hideout. I expect there to be plenty they can add to my bill once it's recovered.

As I open my door to walk to where they're standing around yet another body, one of the villagers says, "...and then we got the story out of Han and went to Niva's house. That's where we found the leader of the thieves."

Another villager says quietly, "The way he died is weird, isn't it?"

A second villager who went to Niva's house adds, "Niva was already gone, but we got scared and didn't chase him."

I would say that was wise. "I think you did the right thing," the doctor agrees with me. "He was killed the same way those soldiers were. Ordinary men don't have a chance against whoever did this."

I interrupt from where I'm standing at the doorway. "What does the man Niva look like?" They turn to look at me in surprise. "While I'm getting rid of the rest of the thieves, I'll take care of Niva, too."

"Sure, we know where they are," the mayor says in his usual boisterous voice. He turns to the innkeeper. "Bring me something to write on!"

"Izark, you're dressed for battle," the doctor comments. "So, you're recovered?"

"That's right," I tell him as I head for the front door.

The mayor comes rushing up with a hastily drawn map for me. "Hey, apparently your opponents have a new ally."

"Sounds like it," I agree, not worried. It's good I'm here to help them.

"Oh, hey, wait a minute! We don't have your horse ready yet. This is so sudden." The mayor begins to chivy people into getting a horse ready for me. I don't need a horse, but I won't tell him. He wants to be helpful and I don't want to seem any stranger than we already have.

I pause to look up the stairs towards Noriko's bedroom. I can feel her, that she's sleeping. The wind also lets me know she's still there. I won't let this take any longer than it has to. I hope she'll behave today while I'm gone. I wish I knew how to tell her how dangerous it is to use her powers as a Teacher here. She may worry when she finds me gone, but she needs her sleep. The innkeeper will tell her where I've gone. I ignore the little boy in me that's promising her I'll be back soon.

Dawn arrives as I'm arriving at the place below where the thieves have their hideout. It's up in the cliff face where we fell from, but at a farther distance from the village, so I've had to come a long ways. I guess it was okay to have the horse do that much running for me. I leave it tethered to a tree and begin the climb to their hideout, jumping from outcrop to higher outcrop.

I land up on the top of the mountain here and look around, check the map and continue on. I hear them and smell them when I'm getting close. They've laid a trap for me and are waiting. "That dog. He's here."

"Hmph. We can ambush him. We can beat him with our trap."

I continue forward until I sense the trap laid for me. From behind me comes a steel net, weighted around the edges. It lands on me, but I keep my feet. "We got him!"

"We did it! That's a steel net! You can't even cut it with a sword." Four men come out from hiding, rushing me.

"Pull him down with the net! He's helpless." Again, they've made assumptions.

I grab the net in my hands and call on my fire energy to melt the links, and on my strength to tear the net apart in front of me. The net falls off me to lie on the ground, the broken links falling to clink against the steel of the net. The thieves skid to a halt in fear. "Thank you for saving me the trouble of having to hunt you down."

"This can't be happening!"

"But - but that's a ...steel net!"

I head for them. They swear. I move fast and they jump and try to run. Their swords are out from before, but I don't draw mine. This time I can be in control. When I'm in control I use hand-to-hand strength attacks. They're similar to energy attacks, but it's more the use of the strength of what I am than using the energy I can control. When I'm weak the energy comes out. It doesn't have to this time.

The four men are on the ground, incapacitated before they can run three steps. Fist and foot blows faster than they could see rained down on them and now they're groaning. "Save your breath and don't bother moving," I say to them. It will hurt less if they stay still. "I have a question for you. Do you know a merchant named Niva?"

"Sure," says a new, prideful voice from above me. I turn quickly. I didn't sense this person at all. Long blond hair and greedy eyes that look at me. Not the greed for money, but for something else. He wants me for something. "He's my boss. In fact, he's waiting for me at the hideout. ...Waiting to hear I've killed you."

_Ah. He wants my death. One who loves the power of winning in battle._ I've come across a few, but none have been able to best me, even at only this strength. "Have you been here all this time?" I ask him. He admits it. Usually they're prideful enough to talk before engaging. He isn't ordinary, the wind now tells me. He can hide his presence from even the wind. I'll be wary. He's likely the one who can use energy attacks. People like that - like me - are very rare.

"Was it you who killed the thieves' boss at Niva's house?" I ask him, to confirm it. They're often boastful as well.

"That's right," he answers easily.

The thieves on the ground aren't happy with that answer at all. "What did he say?"

"You son of a ...you called us out here saying you had a message from our boss!"

The man above me leaps down from his high perch on the rocks. "I just wanted to see what the man I'm going to kill was like." He lands lightly, like I would. I stay wary. "By the way, I heard you were hurt."

"Maybe they got it wrong," I answer.

"I guess so. You were pretty good. You finished four big guys in no time. But -" I sense a gathering of energy. He isn't going to waste time. His hand comes up as if he's preparing to shove me over from the distance we are apart. He actually does plan on it, but it will be a strong ball of energy that hits me. "- you won't beat me."

I put up both of my hands to block the incoming energy with a shield of my own. His blow has enough force behind it to actually pick me up and throw me aside. The tree behind me falls and I crash into the side of the cliff that was near it and fall into the underbrush.

The man I'm fighting mutters to himself. I let him come closer. Even in battles like this, small moments of recovery are still useful. "He flew sideways! Did I miss him? I must have landed at least one or two of my distant blows on him." Ah, that's why it was so powerful. It really was multiple fast attacks in a row. He wasn't taking any chances either. "At least some of his ribs must have been -"

I rise to my feet, not wanting him too close. "You have great power. An ordinary man would be dead instantly if he were struck by that." It's my warning.

Instead he becomes angry that I appear uninjured. He's too prideful. "You...swine. You're still standing?" He immediately unleashes another barrage.

This time I leap out of the way. I stood still the first time to understand how powerful he is. I reach for my sword. I much prefer using my sword when I do energy attacks. It allows me to control the energy better. "Now it's my turn."

I head for him, swinging my sword. I let loose just as much energy as it would have taken for me to put down a normal strong opponent. He acts like he didn't feel it. He's leaping backwards as I push strongly against the earth to run at him faster than most men can run. He's able to keep ahead of me, but I'm pressing him.

He yells at me in frustration. "Don't make a fool of me!" A strong energy blast comes at me from both of his hands, but I've changed my shield's shape. It cuts through his attack, sending it around me. He stares at me confused, not understanding why nothing happened to me.

I prepare my next higher level energy attack, gathering it in my hand. He draws his own sword, swearing again. I hold the energy for now and send it through the sword to defend against his sword blow. That's just as strong as mine. He also can direct the energy through his weapon.

I keep him on the defensive, testing him with every blow, to see if he can keep up with my speed. He's good enough to keep up with me. That's rather impressive. I stay on my guard. He may show me something new.

Our energy blows slam against each other again and again. I can feel the force being deflected by my shield. Much of it is going down into the ground because we are standing on it. There's a different feel to the earth suddenly. My foot shifts at his blow, the ground collapsing under it.

I'm distracted enough by the effect that he gets a hand free and slams me with a direct energy attack to my head. Because we've been in close sword combat, the energy blows me back again, like his first series of blows did.

I do a back-flip to land on my feet again. It didn't hurt me much. My shields held, but the force against it was more than my feet could grip the earth. My opponent cries out in surprise.

Now that we're separated I can hear a river far below us, the moisture from it coming on the air. That would be a long way to fall. It's likely the same river Noriko and I were on underground, but here it's come up to the surface.

I'm taking too long. I would like to finish this now. "It'll take all I have to deal with you." I collect all the energy I can hold, allowing myself to transform just enough to gather even a little more, since he already has dealt well with all I can give and not transform. "HAAAH!" I send the energy at him.

He raises his arms in front of him, understanding that this is another level completely. The energy slams into him and he cries out, "ARRGH!" He's blown back many feet and I walk towards him to see what he'll do next. He rolls off his back and pushes to his hands and knees.

"You're as good as I thought you would be. You're not very hurt," I say to him.

He rises to his feet, already nearly exhausted protecting himself from that last blow. He's quite angry, one who can't lose. Those are the worst kind. They won't stay down, have to kill or be killed. "I don't want to hurt you, but you are quite the adversary. If I leave you wounded, I'll be sorry some day. I'm sorry, but I have to finish you off." I'd really rather not, but it's a sad truth I've learned.

Suddenly his expression changes and he looks up at me in wonder. "It's you. Now I get it! It's you!" He points at me and cries out, "You're the one who took the Awakening from the Sea of Trees!"

_What?!_ As I try to comprehend what he's just said, part of me desperate to kill if he knows that, or even just suspects it, the ground beneath us begins to crumble and an entire point of the cliff face slides down the mountain towards the river below us. That final energy blow of mine was too much for the ground under us. We made it unstable and we're falling.

I was closer to the edge and he's now above me in the air. Above him I see a faint shadow of a giant hand reach down from the sky and wrap itself around the man who was my opponent and they both fade and disappear. Then I'm crashing into the pieces of earth that crashed just before I did, and I'm buried by even more. My energy shield protects me from being crushed, but I lie stunned for a time.

_What did he mean?_ The soldiers were killed by him. Was he one of those sent into the Sea of Trees? Did he see the dead flower insects? They were very tough to kill and took both energy and my strength. He would have understood what it meant for them to be sliced into pieces, then. I close my eyes. I've also left behind evidence that damages us. And now he's seen my face. How I wish I could have killed him.

Why did the cliff have to fall? I was only one step away from doing so. And...what was that hand? Who's rescued him? Is that a sign of the one who wants me most? I hope with everything I am that they didn't see me, didn't understand who I am. They took him. He'll likely talk and want to fight me again to win. Those kind come back again and again.

I shiver with a chill that goes deeply into my bones and I'm changing, my fingers turning into claws as I draw on the most strength I'm willing to call for. The rocks fall away from above me and I'm rising to my feet to climb out of the rock fall. With one leap I'm back up on the top of the cliff face. I'm glad we moved far enough away from the initial confrontation with the thieves so that they can't see me. It takes me some time to calm down enough to have the changes fade from me again.

Once they have, I'm quick to find Niva. He's a weak heavyset man who loves power. I tie him up and the other men and take a few bags of coin for myself as extra payment. The villagers won't know what was here and won't begrudge me the extra pay. None of us can get it back to who it was stolen from anyway.

Leaving the five men tied in the cave, I hurry back to Calco. But before I go, I ask one question to Niva. "What was the name of the strong man you hired?"

Niva gives me a nasty look. "It looks like he tried to give as good as he got, or you got lucky. He said his name was Keimos."


	11. Into Hiding

The worries swirl in my head as I ride back into Calco. People are muttering as I pass them, but I'm not paying attention to them. As I come around the corner to see the inn, I can sense Noriko is there, watching and waiting for me. The wind says she's waiting at the window of the room she stayed in last night. I see motion as we get closer, and then there's suddenly a loud cry.

"_Izark!_" Noriko is leaning out of the window and as if she's a fisherman's wife she's already scolding me before we're even together again.

My mouth hangs open as I stare at her like every other person on the street is. This isn't what I want. How can I get her to hide when she must be so publicly obvious? And then, to my poor eyes and heart's almost incomprehension, she's climbing to stand in the window and ..._jumping out?!_

Without even knowing I've done it, I'm off the horse and in the air to catch her, landing and putting her on the ground. "Noriko!" I scold back. "Don't do that! Not only are you yelling in public, you aren't being yourself. What are you doing?"

Noriko has hold of my jacket front and she hasn't stopped scolding either. She points to my sleeve - it's torn to pieces. She points to the hem of my jacket. It's ragged and I didn't even know. All of my clothes are full of holes from the falling rocks. It's no wonder Niva gave me such a look. Both of us have made more of a scene than I can bear. No one in Calco will ever forget us now.

And true to herself now, Noriko is pulling me by my jacket until her head is buried in my chest and her tears flood out of her as she sobs. The Teacher and the water fountain all at once. I sigh at her, irritated, but also understanding. She still has all of last night to cry out still, too, as well as whatever worries her imagination and my clothing have given her. I put my hand on her head, but we can't stay out here in public to continue making this strange scene.

I push Noriko away and she quickly understands, also going to embarrassment with me. But the damage is done. The innkeeper's wife stands in the doorway glaring at me, her eyes also taking in my clothing. Behind her the mayor and doctor have come to see what the fuss is. My face flushes even more and Noriko is apologizing to me through her tears.

I take her wrist in my hand and pull her into the inn. The innkeeper's wife moves out of the way to let us in and closes the door behind us. I put my hands on Noriko's shoulders. "Sorry, Noriko. I'm okay," I say to calm her and everyone else who is glaring at me. She ducks her head but gives a nod. I release her to face the others.

The innkeeper's wife is first. I'm scolded by another woman for destroying my clothes when Noriko was already worried for me all morning. When I've finally pacified her, it's the Mayor's turn to scold me in his loud voice. As usual, he can't believe that I survived if I look like this, nor can he believe I've defeated the thieves until I pull out a broach that I brought as proof. I also suggest that they send men to collect Niva and the remaining thieves. That will tell them more than any words of mine.

After the mayor has huffed and puffed and the doctor has put out his steam, he does send men in a wagon to collect the thieves and the treasures of the hideout. I can finally do what I need to do next. I ask for my bag and they tell me that Noriko's been keeping it for me. I look at her, but she isn't looking at me and her face is unhappy still. She's also perhaps holding it in until we're alone. I sigh to myself and ask her for my bag with signs.

She nods and leads me up the stairs to her room. I close the door behind us as she moves to pick up the bag from where it sits under the window. Noriko only looks out that window sadly as I pull out another set of clothing and change out of the now-rags. I sigh about that, too. I just bought those from the merchant and am back to little clothing.

I'm counting up the cost of what must be bought before we can go and the 5,000 zol won't be enough. I was hoping to save what I obtained from the hideout for while we're on the road. We'll need to stay out of sight for some time so that whoever comes looking for us here can't follow us.

As I begin to buckle my belt on, Noriko finally turns to face me. "Izark," she waves at the window half-heartedly. "I'm sorry." Still she can't look at me and I can see she's feeling miserable now. It was surely impulse, but I can't understand it even still. She fought me so hard at the top of the cliff. What's changed?

Not looking at her either, I finish clasping my belt trying to know how to face her. "Noriko," I start hesitantly, but stop. She said my name at the same time. I wait. She bows a small bow, clasping her hands in front of her, and bites her lip. "Noriko, I'm sorry you were worried. I needed to finish that job. I was never in danger from that. But someone knows who we are and that we're here. Soon others will come looking for us. We must leave and stay away from people."

I pause, then ask, but it isn't really to her, "Can you please not make others look at you so much? It scares me that they may learn things they shouldn't." I know she can't understand me. Maybe while we're hiding, she'll learn enough for me to explain it to her.

I wait for her. When she has the courage to look into my face again, I say words I know she can understand. "Tomorrow, Noriko Izark go." I'll have to wait for the villagers to go that distance and come again before I'll be paid. It's longer than I want, but I have no choice. If we have to we can run and leave the payment behind.

"[Wh-what?]" she sounds both surprised and like she can't believe what I've just said to her. Her eyes are blinking and she tries to understand. "Noriko go [with] Izark?"

It's as if she thought I would leave her here in anger for her behavior, or it's part of her worry of the morning, that I was gone and wouldn't come back. My expression softens in compassion again. I don't hate her, and I wouldn't have been so cruel as to have left her here without saying something. She doesn't know that I can't let her leave my side yet and I still don't want to tell her why. I nod. "Tomorrow," I promise.

Noriko drops her face into her hands and begins to cry again. Her sobs are so desperate she doesn't have the strength to stand. She sinks to her knees and I hear a muffled, "Thank you, Izark," from where she is bowed over her knees.

I look out the window, my heart trying to not hurt with her so much. She's been stolen from her family for only three days. It must have been very hard to think that the only person she's relied on for that long to live in this very strange place was going to walk out of her life. I can't afford to feel that compassion. Some day, I will.

-o-o-o-

When the mayor and I walked out that early morning to go get the horse and so he could point out the direction I needed to go to find the hideout, we passed the graveyard. We paused to watch. I couldn't hold back the murmur that I wish I'd been well enough so they hadn't had to die.

The mayor had actually been quiet at that comment. I turned to him and told him that I would be taking Noriko back to the coast and perhaps back to her home island, in the hopes she still had family there to take care of her. He agreed with me that would be best for her as well.

I was relieved we could leave Calco early the next morning and with more than I'd thought. The villagers were so happy to have the thieves in custody that they gave some of the jewelry with unknown owners to Noriko. One merchant was willing to give us an extra bag for her, and another a book, pen, and ink she can use in public - to her delight, and others gave me food for our travels for at least a little while.

I did have to pay the clothing merchant for another few sets of clothing. I bought more for me than her. If being around the Awakening is going to make me ruin clothing, I shouldn't short myself, although I can only carry so much. I also bought her bedding because I don't intend on going into another town for a long time.

She'll have to become stronger to survive sleeping outdoors at night, but this past night she was cheerful as we set up the camp. This morning she's doing her part to break it down and even on her own is cleaning it up so that it looks like we were never here.

It's times like this I wish I could understand her enough to ask her why she does that. What things did she learn on her own world? How much is just her own personality? And how much is it that seemingly odd understanding without knowing she has of the dangers we're in? I keep reading into her actions the last one, but I suspect if I were to ask her it would be one of the other two. I wish I could know for sure. So for now, I help her learn her new words.

We talk more than normal for me, and it seems often more than normal for her, too. She does like to just watch the scenery as we pass it by. The little joys I get in seeing things she also appreciates, but because everything is new to her eyes, I'm getting to see it newly again as well. Many things I'm able to have a new and different appreciation of because of her.

At those times, I'm able to relax with her and enjoy her warmth in front of me as we ride on the horse. (The mayor said I could have it when I pointed out Noriko was going to have to do a lot of walking to reach the ocean again.)

When she dozes off and slumps against me to rest, I'm uncomfortable. It's normal for me to not touch, nor be touched by people. And she is the Awakening. I still don't know if having her physically touching me, or this close, can affect me in ways I don't want. When it's bad, I'll wake her back up and make her study her words again. It would be good if there was something else to distract her, but I don't know what it would be.

Sometimes I can sigh at myself and let her be. She struggles to be strong enough to travel all day after taking down a camp, and then set one up again at night. A nap is necessary to her some days. She also hasn't ridden a horse until now, she told me, and that takes strength just for that.

I smile behind her back. She's learning many things here. Then I sigh. It only makes the Teacher stronger, I'm sure. That might not be so good, but there isn't anything I can do other than what I'm doing. I'm constantly hoping it won't turn back against me some day.

I've fought against her learning one thing for about a week when she finally comes to me one more time. She calmly asks, "Please," and many of her words. Then she disappears. The wind tells me where she is. We've already gathered the sticks for the fire, but she's gathering more. She's gone long enough I've made the fire and started water to boil (she'll only drink boiled water, still careful about what she puts into her).

When she returns she asks again, "Please." This time she has in hand a stout stick the length of her knife and another the length of a sword. It's been three days since she gave me the lecture as the Teacher. I resisted that one, having my own history to give me strength against it, but she still wants to learn how to defend herself using the knife properly. I've spent the time doing my own thinking.

I was taught how to use a sword by a woman who comes from a clan of warriors. Her name is Gaya il Pisca. I ran from her, too, for many days, before I had to give in and let her teach me just so she would stop stalking me. I was surprised when the first thing she taught me was not how to swing a sword, but the teachings of the clan master. That more than anything made me willing to learn to hold and use a blade. If Noriko can understand those teachings and believe them enough to live them, then perhaps I will teach her. I still don't want it, though.

I sigh at her, then take the sword-length stick that she's holding out for me. I motion for her to come to where there is earth to draw in. I poke a hole in the dirt, then draw a circle from it around and back to it. The first lesson of the Grey Bird master is: "All paths eventually return to their origin." Can Noriko understand this teaching? I look up at her from where I'm crouched to draw.

Noriko nods and looks like she understands. She moves to the next part of the bare earth to draw. I'm often amazed at how well she draws. They're crude drawings, but I've never wondered what it was that was drawn. She draws herself, then the knife with the point down next to her, then a bandit. It actually looks similar to one of the ones I fought in Calco. I know it's her because she always draws herself as a girl in a short dress with short hair and wearing shoes.

As I ponder that drawing, Noriko moves to draw another one. The second drawing is her picture of me. Usually that means a male figure with long hair, a bandanna, the long coat, and the pants. Sometimes she adds the boots, but not today. She then draws a bandit in front of me and another behind me at a distance. She glances at me to see if I've understood that much. I give a small nod.

She draws herself in that space she left, facing the bandit, her back to mine. I sigh and smile at the same time again. She's always doing that to me. Making me want to say, "I don't need it," and reminding me at the same moment that in her sight I did need it. A drawing of the knife goes point down again between her and the bandit she faces.

I think she's understanding what I want her to understand, saying what I want to hear if I'm going to teach her. The knife is a shield, not a weapon. If we use blades in defense, we are defended. If we use them to cause injury, we will be injured.

I put my hand on my sword, then point to it. Noriko nods. I draw the sword, point down between myself and the bandit in front of me. I want her to understand that from the beginning that's how I use the sword. I can't help hovering over the knife picture. I also protect her with the sword, but...in this case we're talking about how she'll use it, so I leave it. She protected me in the moment I needed it to keep us both safe.

"Thank you, Noriko," I say soberly. If she'll continue to use her strength to protect us both in what little ways she can, I'll be very grateful.

"[You're welcome], Izark," she answers me, understanding. She blinks and runs her hand through her hair, then smiles a little. She does that when she's thought of an additional thing that she finds humorous, but at the same time sobering.

Her finger returns to draw other stick men around us both. I understand she's abbreviating the drawing now. They are all still bandits. Then she draws my sword between us and all of those new bandits. I've reminded her that when there are many enemies, only I'll be able to handle them. She recognizes her own limitations.

I smile back at her. "[Yes], Noriko." I use some of her words since they were easy to learn. She smiles brightly at me, happy with this lesson if it will get her what she wants. I'm sufficiently satisfied.

The second lesson is the other part of what the master taught his clan. I move to draw a new picture. I draw the picture for "strong" - the arm held up to show a strong bicep - then point to my chest and try to show that strength comes from within ourselves. She puzzles that one out. I wish I could say it, because it is so much more than that, but we don't have the words yet.

I want to say them because they are the words that Gaya won me over with. "Those who choose the martial path must first master the power of gentleness." I was confused by that, although I liked how it sounded. It was her summary that made it clearer. "These teachings tell us that a true battle isn't about beating your opponent by force. It's about learning how to get along with everyone."

She admitted she never fully understood what that meant, but I did. It was the way I already wanted to live my life and had been working hard to learn to do. I was so surprised to learn that others had seen it that way as well, but had been strong, even to being warriors. It made me less afraid of my strength, more willing to learn how to control it and use it for good for others.

Gaya encouraged me to become a wandering swordsman instead of working the caravans. When we ended that caravan's journey, she stayed in that city to open a shop. I stopped working for caravans and learned to be a warrior in the way I wanted to be one. I've been grateful for Gaya and the Grey Bird master since that time.

I can only teach it to Noriko in this way. The little strengths inside become the external strengths. When we are gentle, we can do the most good. When we can wish to befriend everyone first, we can find the strength to defend those who need it, and the strength to stop fighting when we should. I don't need to kill and prefer not to, because I can choose to be gentle, which is what I want to be.

Noriko nods she understands, but sighs sadly. She crosses out the strength sign, then erases it and draws it partially, swings her stick, draws more, swings her stick again, and repeats until the full strength sign is drawn again.

I shake my head at her. Yes, strength of arm is built up, but you have to first recognize your own inner strengths - or what you wish to have as your own inner strength. She already has the gentleness, the desire to be kind and useful that she needs to meet this teaching. I try to tell her what I want her to understand is already inside of her. She doesn't see it. We'll need more common words for the understanding to flow from me to her.

I rise and motion to the pictures. Noriko erases them and stands where I put her. I show her how to hold the "hilt" of the stick knife correctly, then stand next to her and, like Gaya did for me, I show her how to make each motion that must be learned for a blade to become a proper defense without harming the wielder or the opponent that should only be discouraged, not killed.

She will someday have to learn to kill because she's picked up the blade, but for now simple defense is enough. I learned that sometimes defending oneself means killing someone who won't believe otherwise. I hope she's never with me when Keimos confronts me again. If I lose, she will also, because she'll never be able to kill him, and he'll fight until he dies.

For thieves and bandits, she'll be okay, I think. Her determination that first battle night says it very clearly. That makes me think of a question. I ask her if she actually used the knife in Calco. She shakes her head. She didn't have to. That's good. It's better to not use it when you have no training.


	12. Distress

Six weeks we've been wandering. Two weeks following this river. Three days waiting at this bend, where there's a nice beach. I want to be going on, but the river doesn't go with us past this bend. I am rocks inside again.

We've reached the latest time Noriko estimated she would have symptoms from her experiment. I don't want to live through the results of that. I want to believe that nothing will happen and I'll have wasted time here in the place. My worry and the weight inside won't let me leave it.

Noriko comes up to me, almost as testy as I am with the waiting and emotions and asks if I'm looking this direction to protect us from monsters. I tell her no. I don't tell her that in that direction is the place I'll be leaving her. In six weeks she's learned the language fairly well. By the time we reach that city, she'll know enough, and it's far enough away from the Sea of Trees to not have seekers in it.

She requests I practice with the stick blades again. It's something to do and might get my worries to calm some. I agree. We work our usual practice, which includes sparing lightly against each other now so she can learn what it is to face someone with a sword. She seems tired when we're done, and she sits quietly by the fire as I fix the meal.

Noriko also can't eat as much as usual. When she collects the dishes to go and wash them at the river side, which is the easiest chore she's learned to do besides collecting firewood, I watch her closely. As she begins to slump to the ground, my heart goes with her. The rest of me is there to catch her before she hits her head. She's as limp as a wet cloth, and her temperature is climbing, making her shiver already.

I leave the dishes where they've fallen and carry her back to where her bed is already unrolled in preparation for tonight's sleeping. I think I won't be getting much sleep for a while. Not that I sleep more than four hours a night anyway, but this is going to be very difficult.

I already don't like her being out of my sight very long, and I've become too accustomed to having her protected between my arms while riding on the horse. To hold her just this distance, it's almost more than I can do to put her down and turn for her bag to hunt for the herbs and instructions I'll need.

I want her to not live through this, nor make me. I'm afraid of what she's done.

It's already obvious which one will be first. Her temperature has risen quickly. All of them have elevated temperature. This one is severely high. It's one of the two that demands we be here by the river. Only cold water can keep a person alive when they're so hot.

I still wrap her blanket around her. I'm going to have to hide my heart to do what must be done. For now, I prepare the tea she'll need to drink to help her body fight the disease. I rinse the dishes in the river and put the herbs in her mug, then pour what remains of the boiling water over them. I steep them for the length of time in the instructions, then filter the leaves out and wait.

When she whimpers in distress, I'm by her side to lift her just enough so I can put the mug to her lips. She drinks too greedily at first, then slows down enough to get most of it into her before she passes out again. I set her and the mug down, then rise to my feet to pace.

Finally I take a breath and scold myself firmly. I remove my belt, sword, and knife, keeping them close by. My boots and socks also come off. I consider what else I'm wearing. With a sigh, I switch to my night clothes. They'll handle the water best, and I don't need to ruin more clothing while we're in hiding. Then I'm pacing again, although staying close to Noriko.

Before I feel ready, she's moving. I knew it was coming, though. Her breathing has been panting for a while now. She's pulling at her blanket, and at the neck of her dress. I swallow and help free her from the blanket. She's in a panic now and I can't hold back the tide of time.

Steeling my heart, I gently undo the laces of her over-dress, unwrap her belt, remove her shoes and socks, then as carefully as I can, remove her dresses from her. Every time I touch her skin she hisses in pain. It's soft and bubbled up, and very red.

I'm as gentle as I can be as I lift Noriko from her bed and carry her to the river. The skin like this is very fragile. I'm glad she's too weak to move, too fevered to care that I've undressed her, preferring that over the pain of being clothed. I lower her body into the river, her feet pointing out into the flow of it, and sit so that I can hold only her head, under her hair. I use my energy manipulation skills to prevent sticks and other things floating down the river from running into her. Until the fever is over, her skin is in danger.

It's hard enough to know that under my fingers is not just water from the river but her own hot blood because I must touch her somewhere to keep her from floating away. I use as much energy rather than touch as I can to counterbalance that, but even that can put too much pressure on her skin on the downward side of the flow as the river presses her into the shield. The river blooms red where I sit and in other small places, then it is washed away, then blooms again.

That calls creatures who would like to eat whatever is offering itself to the river. So then I'm also using the energy to send them away. _Noriko is not for eating_, I tell them. Some are harder to discourage than others and I have to forcibly remove them to other places. They and the flotsam are enough of a distraction for a while from her form in front of me, which I'm terribly embarrassed to have to see. She doesn't care nor will she in the end, I suspect.

I'm almost to dozing myself when Noriko interrupts her panting and moans, "Izark. Izark." She's become conscious enough to be aware, then.

I lift her head up just far enough for her ears to be uncovered. "Noriko, I'm here." She's slipping from my grasp at this angle and I have to shift my hands to keep her here as I lower her head again. She gasps in pain and I'm sorry, but there's little I can do. She passes out again after a short time. I would be chilled for sitting here this long except that she's actually warmed up the water that pools around me and her head.

It's when the water close to Noriko begins to cool that I realize that her head is cooling as well. In only a few more minutes her panting slows until they're only breaths of pain. I chance letting go with the upward side hand and brush water lightly over her face to cool the skin there. I would regularly lower her face into the water, save her nose, to keep the flesh there from puffing up too much. I can tell it's firmer now than it was, and I'm relieved.

While the fever would have lasted a full turn of the planet at least for those of my world, she's recovering at only a quarter of that time. I've come to this unwanted duty with no expectations, however, so will obediently do what needs to be done for as long as her body not of this world requires me to.

Within the hour I can pull Noriko from the river and carry her again without breaking her skin. I hope this world will heal her head wounds quickly, too. She's just warm enough to dry herself with her own heat by the time I reach her bed. I leave her uncovered for now and return to the river to wash my hands.

I don't watch the flow of the river when I'm done, but return to her side and cover her lightly with her blanket again. I'm quite sure that her temperature was much higher than ours would ever be. She's just lived through a compression of what we would have.

I didn't get any of the childhood diseases. I can't get ill, other than my personal ailment, just like I can't die because I heal too fast. I review the other three diseases on the list. One of them requires a poultice. I take out the herbs for it and begin to grind them. If that first one was fast, I'll want to have this one already prepared.

I'm just finishing that when she's already waking up again. I'm a little surprised that we might go through all of them in one big trouble. Somehow I was thinking they would come with days between them. I shudder to think that they could all come at the same time. That would be very bad. It's good the fever is already done, should any of the others do that.

Noriko goes from waking up to panic. "Izark! Izark!" She curls up around her belly, then arches in pain. "Insects inside. Help!"

My eyes go wide. I'm not ready for this one, either. I swallow but go to her and remove the blanket from her. I put my hand on her. She grabs my hand and places it over her upper abdomen. It's as if she already knows what I am. I swallow again. She's in pain but doesn't have her eyes open. I close my eyes and feel for the creatures that are growing inside of her. They're growing quickly and move around just as quickly. So I'm quick to kill them with my energy.

Noriko immediately moves my hand to a new location and I do it again. I'm using only a very small amount of energy, not wanting to hurt her insides, so she has me do it another three times. She relaxes and an expression of complete distaste crosses her face then it relaxes as she passes out again, her hand relaxing to fall off of mine. I cover her with the blanket, then move quickly to find a proper place for what's at the end of this disease.

I'm trying to not think about what's inside of her. It isn't what would be inside of us. It's changed to be something different in her, more like tiny monsters than the parasite we would fight. I pluck up the soft leaves that we use in the wild, set them next to the log I've placed behind bushes close enough to get to quickly, far enough away we don't have to be accosted by the effluence.

She's calling for me again, again sooner than I expected, and again she has me kill the parasites until they're gone. This time it was lower on her belly. Her skin is smooth and her belly muscles not so soft as they were when she arrived. Riding demands the belly muscles work, so those muscles are more toned on her now.

I'm glad to have her pass out again, so I can stop touching her and cover her. I go and dunk my head in the river to cool it. This is very hard. I plunge my hands into the river next, up over the wrists, to cool them also. My hand still clenches, not wanting to give up all the warmth.

I slump. She's going to defeat me in just having done this. But I can't let her, and I can't let myself lose to things that aren't what I really want. There are times I must drop my burden for a moment, but I can't stop carrying it, or I'll lose and the whole world will lose. I firmly remind myself that I am the Sky Demon of Destruction if I don't fight. I focus on that until my heart can harden again.

Then she's calling to me and I take that shield with me as she places my hand over her lower belly. I focus only on the job I need to perform and nothing else. I cover her again, and pull the soap from my bag that I bought for this time before we left Calco. It's perfumed with herbs that will be cleansing and that I find pleasing.

I place the soap near the edge of the river and return to sit by the fire to finish drying myself off from sitting in the river before. I'm amazed that this one has gone so fast as to not even have allowed my clothes to dry yet.

-o-o-o-

The last call comes, and this time I'm relieved that she places my hand on her lower back. There are very few creatures inside her this time and I'm sure this is the last time. Still, when she lets go, I make sure, working carefully from her upper back and down, checking to make sure and killing any tiny ones that have survived. It's easier to work on her back. I don't even bother to cover her this time.

I was right. Not much time has passed and her eyes are wide open. I immediately pick her up before she can even say anything and have her to the hidden log. I set her on it and leave quickly. I studiously ignore the sounds, and blow away the smells until Noriko comes crawling out from behind the bushes. My heart goes out to her at that. She is still so very weak.

I've removed my shirt for this one. I pick her up and carry her to the river and place her in it. While not-thinking as much as possible, I wash her body from head down with the soap, killing any parasites on the outside as I go. The tiny living come out with the dead and cause even more troubles if this step is missed. I firm myself with dire images of what will happen to her (and now me) if I don't wash her in places that are embarrassing but absolutely essential.

When I've finished washing Noriko from her head to her fingertips and toes, I settle her in her blanket again, then return to the river and strip my pants and wash me. I make sure I've killed anything living, since who knows what will happen to this world if I haven't. Then I wash my pants with the soap and it's nearly gone, only a quarter what it was at the beginning. I probably won't ever want to smell the smell again, for all it was pleasant at the beginning. I don't want to remember why I had to use it.

I lay my pants out to dry by the fire and pull on a different pair that's simple enough to put on, then put my shirt back on. I check on the poultice, then pull out the most important set of herbs. I bring my blanket over and find sticks the right length and size. I've set two of them into the earth near Noriko's head when she moans again. I look at her, but she's still not quite conscious. I look closer and move to get another packet of herbs. It's another tea, and I pour the hot water over the leaves.

It's steeped just long enough when Noriko begins to struggle against her blanket. She gasps as I reach her. "Noriko, what is it?" I ask.

She says a word in her language, then says it again, "then ow".

_Ah._ "Itchy," I supply. She grits her teeth and doesn't answer. Rather she gives a groan.

She's much more aware this time. Enough to ask "How long?" and her eyes are looking at me, so I can't avoid answering.

I shake my head. "Noriko different."

"How?"

_How do I answer that?_ "...Faster."

She raises her head and looks at me in surprise. "Faster [word]...fix? Faster cycle?"

Soberly I answer, "Faster everything."

She still wants to know more. "Symptoms worse, better, same?"

I can only shake my head. It's too different. She drops her head back down to rest and moans. "Herbs? Please?" she begs.

I reach for the tea and help her drink it. She doesn't want much and it looks like swallowing is difficult. When I take the mug away, she begs again, "Poultice?"

I'm not liking that. It's the one I didn't want next. Well, I don't want any of them. I remove her blanket again and can only stare in dismay. Again her skin is raised, large welts rising. Where she rubbed them on the blanket they are angry and even larger. And they are _everywhere_. That means inside her mouth, too, given how hard it was to drink. She was talking to distract herself from the itching.

I morosely reach for the poultice, hoping there's enough. I pick up a little on my finger and paint the worst of the welts. Her expression goes from relief to irritation. I sigh to myself and dedicate myself to painting every welt with the poultice, trying desperately to ignore the small firm breasts as anything other than more skin raised with welts to tend to. I'm going to burn in a rather dark hell for having to be Noriko's nurse. It really isn't what I wanted at all. I keep the image of the Sky Demon in front of my eyes until all of her exposed skin is covered by the poultice.

She's made very grouchy sounds the whole time, which helped me focus on something other than her as well. It doesn't help me that she's aware this whole time. I don't want to die to her anger. When I stop, she pauses, then says, "Head?"

I sigh. I really hope there's enough poultice now. Trying to conserve as best I can, I paint the ear that's exposed to the air. She gives a little pleased moan. I shiver. I move to her neck under her hair and she does it again. I grip the rock the poultice is on more tightly, then have to remind myself I can turn it into dust and relax my grip a little. I shiver as there's only one more place to paint the skin.

It's hard to paint the scalp without losing most of the poultice to the hair. Her hair is slightly coarse and a dark brown, but to put my fingers into it to paint her scalp... I take a breath and do it anyway and she begins to hum. _If only she could hum when I did this any other time._

I am lost. I've wanted to run my fingers through her hair since she started falling asleep on my chest as we rode together. The hairs would tickle my face and I would have to brush it off. The first time I rested my hand on her head to comfort her, I was very startled at how her hair felt to my fingers. For all it is coarser and thicker than mine, it's also fluffy, like some of the more gentle creatures of this world.

For all my trouble and embarrassment until now, I decide to appreciate and enjoy this singular moment. She's pleased and won't kill me, or scold terribly. I'm quite disappointed when I reach the end, the poultice kindly reaching it with me. She stopped humming half-way through the application, but I barely noticed. She's sleeping again now.

I gently touch her hair one more time, then cover her lightly and move to the stream to use the last bit of soap to wash my hands. The poultice is washed off, but my fingers will feel Noriko's hair for some time to come.

I look up at the sky and take a deep breath. The next one is the one that kills adults. It's very difficult for the patient, because it brings great fear with it. I've already given her the first dose of the tea, in the hopes that it will help her early, because she's going through them so fast.

It was already nearing night-fall when she collapsed. It's now half-way or less through the following day. I wonder if we'll be done in only one full day. Suddenly the wind brings bad news with it. Men are nearing our campsite. I move to Noriko and check on her, tucking the blanket in around her tighter. I set the final sticks in place at her head and shoulders and loosely put my blanket over them.

When the men are where they can see me, I'm bent over the poultice rock again, grinding a new poultice. I'll have to touch her again in dangerous places this time, too, but she'll die if I don't. The lungs constrict until no air goes in at all and the person suffocates to death. The poultice makes the lungs relax and breathe air properly. I make a lot of it all at once this time. I've also placed the herbs for smoking near the tent I've made over Noriko's head. It should be obvious what's happening here and I'm hoping the men will be scared off by it.

They bluster and I must rise to discourage them with words of warning. They do _not_ want whatever it is Noriko has. They claim she's already died and I ask why they can't smell the smoking herbs then. Then they claim she isn't sick at all. I'm weary and it's hard to argue with them.

I'm nearly ready to just pick them up and throw them as far as I can, far enough they can't walk back, when Noriko obligingly begins to cough. I make my point and they back off, making their boastful excuses, heading away as fast as they can go.

I'm to Noriko's side quickly. If all the others were fast, I don't know how fast her lungs will close. I need to be faster than that. She's doing her best to breathe around the desire to cough, so she understands the importance of doing that much. I use my control of fire to light the herbs under the tent at the same time as I pick up the poultice.

I kneel behind her and pull off the blanket from her upper torso. Taking up some of the poultice on the two forefingers of each hand, I place it centered on her back over her lungs and do the same in the front, again keeping myself from thinking of anything other than keeping Noriko alive. Palms to skin and I'm massaging the poultice into her, trying to get it to the lungs, warming her and the poultice slightly so her skin will absorb it better.

A worry frown is between my eyebrows. I'm worried we're still too close to the other times her skin was abused. There are some troubles, but I manage to be gentle enough to not break her skin or cause her to bleed. I will her to keep breathing through the difficulty and listen for the times she breathes in, rather than the constant coughing.

Suddenly air is rushing into and out of her lungs properly. She relaxes slowly. My hand moves on it's own. I'm not wrong. There's no time of reprieve. She's keening in pain. Her hands grab at her head and hold it as if to prevent it from breaking.

I put pressure at the base of her head at the back of her neck and with a little bit of energy make her pass out. No one understands why, but when we help a patient be able to breathe again, things are wrong with their head. Pain, strange visions, things like this afflict them.

I lie down at Noriko's back after covering her again. I make sure the smoking herbs will continue to smolder for a while. I hadn't really noticed how tired I was until I had to talk to those men. I need at least one hour of sleep. I'd rather not sleep, but her coughing will wake me up. There's the possibility this will be my only time until she's recovered. I don't need another repeat of Calco all over again.

-o-o-o-

Noriko moves, trying to roll over. I lift my head to look at her, struggling to my elbow and struggling to wake up. It hasn't even been the hoped for hour. She looks at me briefly. "My head. Oowww," she complains.

"Noriko sees what?" I ask her.

She tries to see, opening her eyes to slits. "Izark is a [bear]...Earth creature." Well, it isn't one she's afraid of. That's a positive for this round.

I rise to my feet, suddenly feeling very old and tired, although I'm not the first. I pick her up as a whole package this time and walk to the river again. This is the other reason we're here. I only have to get my feet wet this time, and she only has to have her head in the water. This is called a brain fever, this part. As long as they're breathing okay, the head must be kept cooled as much as possible to counteract the other negative things that have happened to the head.

Before she can't hear me from having water in her ears, I tell her, "Izark will protect Noriko." I sit next to her, trying to stay awake as the water cools her head.

Slowly I can feel her fear rising. She finally whimpers and I put my hand on her shoulder, letting her know I'm still here, protecting her. For a while that's enough as she fights the fear her mind gives her. Then it's too much and she reaches for my hand. I'm surprised when she puts it over her eyes, as if she wants me to send away what she's seeing in her mind. I don't do anything but sit here this time. I don't need to blind her over nothing. It's only the mind fever.

The coughs begin again. I lift Noriko and carry her back to the tent and settle her so she'll properly be breathing the smoke. I use my fire skills to get the embers hot enough again, then it's time for the poultice again. She's already unconscious before I even begin that part. That's fine with me. When she's breathing well, she doesn't wake up and cry out in pain, so I lie down next to her again to get what rest I can.

-o-o-o-

Noriko's terror hits me with great force and that is met by the force of her grasp on me as she rolls over and grabs me tightly, burying her head in my shoulder. I wonder if she can tell it's me like I can tell she's next to me. She hasn't run from me yet. But she can't stay here.

She protests when I make her let go so I can rise to my feet again. She is less afraid when she's in my arms again. I'm sleepwalking, really, and everything is muted for me. When she doesn't want to let go of me at the water's edge, I let her hold my sleeve and put my other hand over her eyes like last time. She moans a distressed comment. "Yes, I know," I comment back. "It is awful. I completely agree."

"Wrong smells, wrong touch, wrong hearing," she complains at me. I can only nod tiredly. Yes, she should be having those symptoms now. She's almost to wrong speaking, too. "Head-heart stupid afraid." I pat her arm where I can reach for being held. She sighs a wavering sigh and nods. She'll bear with it like all the others. It's just not enjoyable.

Her coughing wakes me back up and I move. She shakes her head. It takes a few moments to remember why that doesn't work. I push up and pick her up again. Under the tent the herbs are getting low. I add a few more. It's hard to stay awake long enough to apply the poultice. I'm sure any other man would be greatly appreciating this moment, but I can barely survive it without toppling over on top of her to snore.

When she's breathing again, I cover her one more time and lie down before I really do fall over. But she's still aware. She rolls over and holds on to me tightly, shivering and still afraid. I pry her arms off of me and roll over, then roll her back over so she's breathing the herbs properly. I hold her instead, pinning her down and letting her know I'm here at the same time. We both fall asleep rather quickly.

-o-o-o-

I was not prepared for the next awakening. Before I can even come awake, Noriko is halfway to the river. At least she's going in the right direction. I'm up on my feet and leaping into the air. I search the river from there so that I can land next to her. She's actually swimming quite strongly. How she isn't damaging herself, I have no idea.

I grab her around her middle and haul her out of the water so she can breathe. She's like a large slippery fish, struggling to return to the water. I'm irritated, tired and grumpy, not needing this level of difficulty while still trying to come awake. "Idiot!"

Somehow that catches her attention enough that she manages to get turned around to hold me tightly about the neck. I carry her back to the beach. I put her down, or try to anyway, and she refuses to let go. "I'll run," she warns me. So. She has some cognitive ability. The warning is appreciated.

I shift her to one side so that I can lift her above my hips. I bend down low over the river, thus making her head be close to it, too. Doing her best yet again, she forces herself to release her tight grip around my neck just enough to let her head fall back into the water. Her hand is now holding my collar, which is a little better, but I don't want to stand like this for a long time. She's whimpering in fear with every breath, but she obediently keeps her head in the water. "Noriko, don't run."

She nods. I set her down. We're deeper into the water than before, but here is where I've come and begun. I pry her hand off my collar and she protests in fear. "I'm here," I reassure her and move her hand down to hold my shirt lower down so I can sit more properly. So that she doesn't run away suddenly again, I hold on to her other hand, on the far side from me. With both of us holding on to the other, she might be able to fight the fear enough to stay still.

When the next coughing fit comes, it doesn't have the same force behind it and she doesn't wake up. I carry her back to her bed and massage the last of the poultice into her lungs. This time, I don't sleep. This time I sit in front of her where I can watch her face. I don't know if she'll run again, or even remember me. Sometimes the brain fever leaves a person too damaged.

-o-o-o-

The breathing pattern changes and I'm instantly alert. I put my hand on Noriko's shoulder to hold her in place. She turns her head slowly to look at me. "I think it over, Izark. Smell okay, see okay. Hear okay yesterday." I wish it was yesterday, I'm glad it was only today.

"Head hurt?" I ask.

"No. Breath okay."

I slump next to Noriko, resting my head on my hand to just watch her. She slowly opens her eyes, as weak as when she collapsed at the beginning. Slowly her hand moves to the one I'm resting on the ground between us. It just covers mine, no strength in it at all. "Thank you, Izark. I'm sorry. You worked hard. Thank you." Her eyes close again as she falls into recovery sleep.

It's rather as I thought. She'll never comment nor show embarrassment for what we've just been through. She'll only be grateful to have survived and that I was willing to make that happen at all. I turn my hand over and gently wrap my fingers and thumb around her hand. I can't say if this has been more bonding or damaging or both. I gaze at her until I need to complain.

"Whatever you are: fate, destiny, some god. Whatever it is that's brought the Awakening into my life to cause such trouble, you owe me. You owe me for stealing my future to make me into something evil that I don't want to become. You owe me for these times that make my heart hurt and long to keep her. You owe me if I have to kill her in the end. And you owe her for not even letting her know what evil she was brought here for, when she doesn't want it any more than I do." I bury my head in my arm resting on my raised knee.

Whatever it is has kept her alive again, even for all she worked so hard to die in this last day. But the doctor's words scold me. "She's done this because she wishes to live." I cringe in pain. I, too, wish to live.

_Will I be able to walk away?_ I don't want her to see me turn into some evil monster. I don't want to hurt her if I do. If she's too close to me when I become Destruction, will she be the first thing I kill? I couldn't bear it. Not any more.

I desperately don't want this bond that's forming. I'm afraid to face it. ...I'm desperate with the desire to keep it, for love of any kind, for any kindness, for her warmth and acceptance. I cry silent tears of despair.


	13. Lies

I'm nervous, although I don't let it show. Noriko is excited and can't restrain herself. She doesn't do that very well, I've decided. That makes me nervous as well, but it makes it obvious that she likely isn't hiding anything evil about her nature from me. It would be hard to hide that for as long as we've traveled together now. People can be one way when with only a few people and another way when with many. She's just as unrestrained, if not more so, when we're with other people.

I would have to hold her down to restrain her in this town today, so I don't. That means everyone gets to see her excited, happy face at getting to shop in the market for the first time. I'm getting a lot of "knowing" looks from the shopkeeps. They're sure I've brought my girlfriend out for a shopping trip and have told her I'll pay for anything she wants. That's how excited she is.

She's been learning very quickly, studying hard, and she's excited to get to practice speaking and listening to general conversations. I'm also listening to the conversations. We've just crossed the border into Zago, the country Gaia lives in. I need to understand the current political environment and I want to know what the current gossip is about the two of us.

Soldiers patrol the border, but most of the political unrest, like most countries right now, is internal. That's a little worrisome. Gaia lives in the town closest to the capital city, so perhaps where she is won't be so caught up in the turmoil. I'll want to be cautious the closer we get I suspect.

There isn't much more said about the Awakening coming to the Sea of Trees. People know it's happened, but no one knows what it is or where it might be. The most gossip is wondering who or what country got to it first and when the world will start seeing signs the Sky Demon is coming.

There are lots of frightened whispers about the Sky Demon. It isn't all that new, it's just picked up again now that the sign was given of the Awakening. It still depresses me, so I stop listening closely, only keeping aware of any new thing that might be said.

I purchase herbs first. There are just a few that are hard to come by in the wild. Noriko has yet to become ill other than the diseases she gave herself. On days I'm grumpy, I believe that she will never be ill and never needed to be ill to begin with. She still gets minor cuts, bruises, and burns.

After the episode of the itchy and painful welts, if she's stung by an insect that makes her itch, she welts up very badly. The best medicine for that is one I have to buy, and I'm willing to pay for it. She's very grumpy when she itches horribly. I make sure that cream is in _her_ bag. I don't need to touch her that way again.

I purchase second some necessary food-stuffs. There's one particular spice she likes that I buy in larger quantity this time. There are fruits here that aren't in the wild that are sweet and juicy. I explain to her as best I can what they're like and how to select good ones that aren't under-ripe or rotting. She carefully chooses out one each of three of them, then asks me what fruit is my favorite.

I point to a different one. I don't have a favorite. I want to know how she'll use her new knowledge. She carefully picks through the fruits, lightly pressing on them, smelling them, until she settles on one. She takes them to the shopkeep and one more time, I haggle with her, speaking slowly enough Noriko can follow along and learn. She pays very close attention.

When the fruits are purchased, she hands me my "favorite" and puts the other three in her bag for now. I begin to reach for my bag and she interrupts me. "Show me, how cut fruit."

I shove my internal reaction to her wanting to start with "my favorite" down and pull out my knife. I show her as we walk slowly down the street, handing her the first slice. I want to see what her reaction is. Her mouth puckers just a little. "Is that right taste?" she asks me, wanting to know if she chose a ripe fruit.

I eat the next slice, considering the flavor. I nod rather practically. "Yes. It's ripe." Inside I'm laughing at her.

"You are bitter," she frowns at me.

I smile at her and she knows I'm teasing her and blows out a puff of air in slight frustration that I've teased her again. I stop at a close stand and purchase a small bag of the right seasonings. I cut another slice of the fruit and dip it in the salt-sugar mix and hand it to her. She glares at me slightly, but takes it and tastes it anyway.

She's too inquisitive, but I'm being kind this time. The mixture of flavors delights her, and then me as I eat my dipped slice of the fruit. This is why I like this fruit, for all it is bitter. With the right additional things it's intriguing and a delight to experience. We have it eaten fairly quickly, and I save the leftover seasonings. We can add them to one of our meals later.

We've reached the end of the market street and have seen all the shops there are to see. I turn us around and challenge her. "Your turn."

She's ready. She studied the coinage closely before we came. She smiles, just as excited to try her own hand at shopping. I would have thought she would be nervous to be using her still limited speaking skills. "Ah, but, negotiate, I can't. It's okay?" I nod. I've given her what coin I can allow her to spend, and I want to know what she'll do with it.

She walks us back about a third of the way down the street, then turns off onto a side street to enter a door just off the main path. I look around, then have to turn away from her and cover my mouth to not let out the laugh out loud. She's come straight for the stationary, the scholars shop. She pinches me for laughing at her, then pridefully ignores me as she inspects all of the bound blank books closely until she picks one out.

She carries it to the counter and sets it to the side to not be in the way. Then she gets the attention of the shopkeep and begins to ask questions. I watch her from a distance, and again, I see the Teacher. This time she's learning, but it's still the Teacher. She wants to know which ink is best for what and lasts how long. Sometimes I must step in and translate for her.

When she's satisfied she understands, she gets into her bag and pulls out the pen she was given in Calco. She asks questions again, and this time the lecture she absorbs is one on the nibs. The shopkeep shows her how a new good one absorbs the ink and writes neatly. Then he shows her where hers is cracked and how that makes it absorb ink improperly and leave messes behind.

The shopkeep is patient with her questions because he wants to be able to sell her the best quality of everything he owns, like all shopkeeps would. She studies all levels of qualities, though, wanting to know the full range of what's available. Finally she wavers over two inks and three nibs. I'm rather surprised when she uses even her nonverbal skills to get the shopkeep to lower his prices on the more expensive things that she would rather have.

She needs the higher quality things for how long we'll be gone from towns and she understands that. She also wants lots of ink for that same reason, so quantity becomes part of the negotiation. When she's satisfied, she counts out the coin properly and the shopkeep wraps up her purchases for her. They disappear into her bag and she smiles up at me.

When we've left the shop, I say, "You negotiated well, Noriko."

She grins at me. "I have good teacher."

It takes me a moment to realize she isn't talking about the Teacher inside of her, but about me. There's almost no comparison because it's like my strength to hers. I blush. Her eyes light up and she's skipping away. I groan and roll my eyes. She was teasing me back in return from before.

The next place she goes is for a clothing shop. I would expect a girl to go there next, but she again surprises me. This strange being, the Awakening, does not begin to sift through the flowing dresses, nor even the embroidered ones, for all her eyes couldn't leave the clothing of the merchant in Calco.

Instead, she heads for a section behind the clothing that is only unsewn cloth. She feels all of them, studying the weave, the hand, and the colors. She likes the feel of the smooth and expensive silk, but moves on until she's learned all of them and heard from the shopkeep the prices of each.

Her eyes light up with what can only be a conniving look, the first time I've seen it on her, as if she's just found her mark and will now have it in hand shortly. She looks over the fabrics again, but this time her eyes come frequently to me, as if measuring me now along with the fabrics. Then she comes over to me and takes the back of my sleeve and indicates she's done and ready to move on.

The shopkeep is disappointed, but I pretend to not notice any more than Noriko and we're off again. This time...to another shop the same as the previous one, but at the other end of the market street. I raise my eyebrow at her slightly. This time, she spends less time reviewing the fabrics and more time learning their prices. Again we leave without her making any purchases.

I'm quite curious now. I know she doesn't have enough coin for very much fabric. It would take all of the rest of it for a simple dress already made. Her head turns this way and that, listening, and then we're headed out of the market district again and for a back street. The sound of hammer on steel gets louder and my own feet are interested, although I don't know why she wants the blacksmith.

When we arrive, Noriko asks the blacksmith if his wife is available to talk to her, and if he has any daughters. He actually has two and she asks to speak with them as well. He sends in one of his sons to fetch them from his house, then looks at me quizzically. I shrug. I don't know what Noriko's doing either. However, I do have my own business with him if he has time. I pull my sword from my belt.

"We've been on the road for a while," I say. "Would you be willing to look it over and maybe sharpen it while she's doing whatever she's doing?"

"Sure," he holds out his hand. "Is she your wife, or girlfriend?"

"My employer's daughter. I'm taking her to her aunt's house."

The blacksmith looks over at Noriko as his wife and daughters arrive. He looks confused as Noriko pulls paper, ink, and pen from her bag and moves to a far table to be out of the way.

"Her mother left Zago with a sailor from one of the far islands and it's her first time here. Her father dropped her off at the port and hired me there. He had to return with the ship. I've been teaching her how to speak the language. She still prefers to draw when there are words she doesn't know," I explain.

That satisfies him enough that he focuses on my sword again. "This is a nice blade," he comments. Then he frowns at it. "It's seen some heavy blows, though. It's going to take some reheating and repair."

He isn't wrong. I fought against Keimos with this blade. All of my swords see heavy damage when I use energy through them, but I was thinking that plus Keimos' blows would have done worse things. I sigh, dicker, and still have to pay more than I want. It will be worth it, those repairs, so I try to not complain.

While the blacksmith gets to work, shoving the sword deep into the coals of the fire and using the bellows to bring the coals up to temperature, I turn to see what Noriko's doing. She has the ladies clustered around her, watching as she's doing something in her lap with what seems to be cloth. Her head comes up and she smiles at the ladies. They smile back, just as excited as she has been all day.

She asks them another question, and the wife is headed for the blacksmith. She drags him over to see what Noriko has shown them. He's suddenly also intrigued and asks to handle something very small. Small stones appear in my stomach and I move closer. The blacksmith's mutters and then questions don't help. They make the stones larger, but I'm already too late.

I can only stand to the side and watch as Noriko negotiates with great ability until there's an agreement between them. A drawing passes to the blacksmith and an expensive pair of scissors and some coins pass from him to her. The wife and each of the daughters disappear as the paper disappears into the front of the blacksmith's jacket and he returns to check on the temperature of my sword. He's too excited by what he learned to look at me again.

I've seen how the Teacher in action influences others from outside of it, now, and I'm unhappy. She's used her skills to win for herself a thing she wants without spending coin, a good thing generally. What she's traded for it worries me. It's knowledge not of this world.

The ladies return with three sewing needles each and hand them over to Noriko. She adds them to her scissors in her bag and I understand why she was looking at fabric now. She knows how to sew, and she knows that I ruin clothing. I slump against the wall of the blacksmithy. She's thinking of me, again, but not thinking of how dangerous little things like that are...because I haven't told her to be careful. She'll ask why and I don't want to tell her, even still.

The ladies continue to talk to her while the smith works on my sword. It isn't until we leave - me paying a third of the price he initially told me making me worry even more - that I can hide us in a back alley and tell her. "Noriko, you can't tell them about things of your world. There are those that will come asking questions and because they've seen you, they will tell. That's dangerous."

I don't know how to say it any other way. We still don't have enough common words, and I'm not the Teacher she is, to convince her with strength. Her own mind understands it, though. She bites her lip, thinks about it properly, then nods and apologizes and promises with clear worried eyes that she won't again. It's the best I can hope for, I suppose.

We return to the fabric shop that had less expensive fabric and Noriko again negotiates very well, from the beginning. She picks up a random fabric and holds it up to me and looks at me and the fabric, then shakes her head and puts it back. She drags me to several places and fabrics doing the same until the shopkeep finishes with the current customer and comes to talk to Noriko.

Since I'd figured out she was going to do this at the blacksmith shop, I play along, being bored rather than embarrassed, which I would have been if I hadn't known. Again, the shopkeep tries to talk Noriko into expensive fabrics. Noriko finally glares at her and points to my sword and makes it plain that she won't waste money on someone who might get his clothes ruined during battle. I raise my eyebrow slightly at the shopkeep and she has to give in that it only makes sense that cheaper materials are more practical.

Noriko finally picks two fabrics, one that is a deep blue and one that is a lighter blue. She also needs threads to match and the shopkeep points out the rack of spools of thread. Noriko looks pained, then sighs. She says she'll buy less of the two fabrics, then. They haggle until the costs of adding the thread are less and so is the amount of fabric. We leave with two bundles of fabric and two spools of thread. She's done far better than I thought she would.

"We'll need a third bag for that much more," I say to her. "Do you have enough for that, too?" Noriko's challenge glint comes to her eyes and she opens her bag and stuffs it all into her bag. She neither rises to the greed of having more (even if it is only another bag), nor does she fall for the tease.

She's looking for one more place, but she doesn't ask me. When she finally stops a woman with nicely done embroidery on her clothing, I understand why she didn't ask me. It's more hand work and no words between us to explain it. That woman understands, though, and kindly directs us to a shop off the market way.

I'm still watching Noriko, so I see her freeze as her eyes take in the whole shop. She scans slowly and I swear she's drooling. She may know how to sew, but here are the things she truly enjoys. "Touch, can I?" she asks.

I throw a glance at the shopkeep. He gives me a small nod, already having recognized her expression. "Yes," I say to her and she's off, dancing almost in her delight. I lean against the wall next to the door and watch her. The shop is small, so I can see her without moving. To see her delight in things in this way always calms me. I'm able to also find a little delight in things with her.

She explores the feel of the yarns and threads, like she did the fabrics. There are a few yarns she finds hard to put down and her fingers want to go back to holding them. She finally runs up to me. "Other villages, shops like this?" I look at the shopkeep again, not knowing really.

He looks at me like I'm the one from a different planet. "Of course."

"Can we visit again another?" she begs me.

I put my hand on her head to restrain her. She's going too far in front of the shopkeep. "Later." Perhaps Gaia can take her.

She calms down immediately and gives me an odd sober look. It's like she's sensed something of what I was thinking, what I'm still hiding from her. "Thank you, Izark. Then I buy some today, some later." I nod.

She returns to the embroidery threads and hunts through them and pulls out a handful of mixed colors, including the basics. This time I watch as she haggles, using the extra colors as her push on the shopkeep, until she "sadly" leaves with only a few sets of threads, and having finished the deal by saying she only has "this much, take it or leave it". The shopkeep took it, his gift to someone who loves his wares and can't afford them today - a mark of a good salesman who knows how to have a repeat customer. Noriko won't be back, however, but I don't tell him.

Noriko looks up at me as we leave the shop, headed back for the market. "All done!" she says cheerfully.

I stop and look at her in confusion. "Why not a brush?"

Noriko freezes, her eyes wide. "Oh. I forgot. I was thinking of hands busy." She blushes.

I can get "hands busy". If it keeps her from falling asleep while we ride on the horse that will be a good distraction. I've got enough for the brush, not having to pay for the sword repair as much as I should have. I'd been thinking we needed that purchase, particularly before we get to Gaia's, so I was looking at the prices on our first way through.

We arrive at the beauty booth and she looks through the brushes. I can tell she'll be happy with the least expensive one. I'm just thinking that this should be simple, when the shopkeep's assistant steps up and starts trying to talk me into getting something additional for my "cute girlfriend". I try to disabuse her, but she's so used to the tactic to sell more wares, her ears are turned off.

When Noriko picks up on the bent of the sales pitch, if not the words since I've purposely not included "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" in the lessons on relationship words, she slips into the role of "girlfriend shopping with boyfriend" quite well. It makes me wonder just how many boyfriends she's had before coming here.

That makes me irritated in a way I don't like and try to ignore. Not only am I _not_ her boyfriend, nor she my girlfriend, I really don't need to be feeling irrational jealousy for people who may just not exist in a place she can't even go back to.

It ends up badly for me, having to buy her not just a brush but also a comb and another unnecessary piece to solidify in the minds of the two shopkeeps that we really are boyfriend and girlfriend. As we turn to leave, Noriko grabs hold of my arm, thanking me with sparkling smiles, continuing the roleplay. I'm hard pressed to not growl at her.

When we're far enough away, I impatiently take my arm back. She holds on to my sleeve instead, then moves to take the back of my jacket. That's better. We leave the town immediately.

At the place we left the horse, I turn on Noriko. "Noriko, why did you tease me?" I'd carefully set up a completely different story for us and in that one moment it was changed. I hope not ruined.

Her first try to explain doesn't work. She paces in a little circle, trying to find the right way to give me an answer. She looks up at me. "What is Noriko and Izark?"

I freeze. Her eyes go wide, then an eyebrow raises. "Izark, you say not to say where you find me. You say not to show new small metal [technology]. Is it not good to say I am girlfriend to hide? Is a better way to hide?" I would tell her what I was saying, but I haven't thawed yet. She's treading on the ground I'm not willing to talk about, so don't have any words for her to begin with.

She frowns, then muses, "No. Is better way. Have you stolen me?" My heart stops beating. Is it the Teacher who's suddenly walked the path of reading my intentions? Or is it her intelligence following her own thoughts that have knocked at the door to my fear? Her eyes go wide again because I've given her the small sign she's still thinking right.

Noriko nods and crouches down to draw. In the back of my mind, behind my fear, I wonder that she can accept it so calmly. "Family - husband, wife - join with other family say yes." She draws a couple, hand in hand, and other people around them. "What word?" My dry mouth manages to say the word.

"Man-woman marriage join when other family say no?" She hides the couple in the center of her drawing and looks up at me, the Teacher trapping me. She will have her answer regardless of what I desire. I do manage to pause, but the word still falls reluctantly from my lips. She nods. It also happens in her world for her to have even asked.

"Izark and Noriko elope. Run from family. Then okay we are together, and we are hiding our meeting." She's blushing now, realizing the difficulty of this lie, why I've not used it. I can't look at her any longer and turn my face away and fold my arms.

I'm not even going to be able to explain my preferred excuse now. Not because it isn't reasonable or good, but because my mouth has been shut by the Teacher. It isn't Noriko's fault. I think she would consider it and agree with it, actually. The Teacher has confronted me and my fear has won. I can't speak at all.

Noriko pauses, then erases her picture and stands. It isn't until she moves that I can move and it's a reaction of panic. I take hold of her arm to prevent her from walking away. I wait until she's turned to see me. "I'm sorry, Noriko." _It's a secret that's so painful that to tell you is far worse than the burning curiosity you'll have from now on. I don't want you to leave, you can't leave, and death and imprisonment are the outcome of that secret being told to anyone - even you._

I can't say that part though. I can only be sorry that she's learned even the little she has from watching my reactions to her questions. I hate myself right at the moment, for giving it away, for changing how she sees me, for making her even more curious than ever before.

She finally says back, "Someday I wish to hear truth, Izark." Because I can't say it, I can't look her in the eye. She sighs, still reading my body language. "Not today okay, Izark." She gently removes my hand from her arm, willing at the moment to allow me to calm down from my panic, but it's only a postponement. I'll need to decide soon to fight my inner demon and tell her before this becomes even worse.

She has hold of my sleeve and she's walking us to the horse's side. I'm grateful she's willing to let me calm down. I wish I could kill her here and now. I wish I could walk away and not look back. ...We are almost to Gaya's.

I take a slow breath, then boost Noriko up on the horse. She doesn't look at me again, nor does she have to once we're on the move again. Her stiffness speaks her confusion, hurt, and uncertainty. I cannot answer it.


	14. Secrets

We're quiet at the campfire this night. Our routine to set up camp needs no words any more. Noriko is still waiting for me to have the words she needs to hear. I'm still not willing nor able to give them to her. I've practiced all my life to never say them. I can't cross that boundary.

Noriko spends the time after dinner and before bed working with the fabric she bought. When she comes to me to measure for lengths, we both are very uncomfortable with the contact and nearness of the other. She returns to the opposite side of the fire and I sit to wish yet again that none of this had been handed to me as the path of my life.

I also wish it hadn't been handed to Noriko. What she wants to hear from me would also make her sad, as sad as she is that things have changed between us because she's learned things I didn't want her to. She puts herself to bed early, still not saying anything.

I don't answer the part of me that's both happy and relieved there's finally distance between us - distance that will allow me to leave her behind properly when we arrive at Gaya's. _It's for the best_, it whispers. The little boy scowls and hates that side of me.

I close my eyes and also wish I could sleep to not have to be part of this fight inside of me. It's almost as hard to face as the silent one between Noriko and I.

-o-o-o-

Traveling together this last distance has been hard. I've been using the space between us to reinforce my determination to leave her behind. She doesn't want to see me turned into Destruction, nor does she wish to be used that way by others. I don't wish to destroy her, nor the rest of the world. It's far past time we separated so that we can fight our destinies properly.

Yet, I'm constantly in turmoil at these thoughts. The calm of just being together is gone. Every time Noriko becomes irritable, she begins to open her mouth, then stops, clamps her lips firmly together, and turns away to sorrow.

It's because I can only look at her with eyes that fear the question, so much that even the Teacher can't speak. Not to persuade, not to scold, not to try to answer it for herself. I feel no triumph. I don't like to make her sorrow. It hurts to not be trusted any more.

-o-o-o-

Noriko has completed the jacket for me and the overdress for her, but that isn't all she intends. She'll embroider them as well. That's hard on the back of the horse, so she's first trying to put it on a bandanna she sewed. That's how I know embroidery is hard to do on the back of a horse.

The sewing was simple. The embroidery has to be done with detailed attention to where the needle enters the fabric. She pricks her finger yet again and sighs in frustration. Her hands go to her lap to hold the handwork loosely. She relaxes and sits quietly.

My ears pick up sounds of men, concerned, then one of them cries out. I turn my head and then the horse. We don't need witnesses who know our faces, but we're too strained just the two of us. Work I may be paid for and company to distract us are perhaps better.

Noriko puts her handwork away, quietly preparing as always to assist me in whatever small way she can. It's one of the small things I love about her. I want to put my head down on her shoulder and tell her everything, to change the distance between us, but that will not change our destiny.

When we're close, I can tell there are too many monsters for me to take her and the horse into, and I slow us down. Noriko reaches for the reins. "Izark, I do horse. You run." I'm not sure I want to leave her alone. She takes the reins and pushes on me. She isn't afraid, and has learned the use her knife sufficiently well. If she's on the horse she can run from the monsters if they come this far.

The cries of the men are full of fear. I slip off the horse but look at her so I can see her face, to be sure she'll be okay. "I will follow," she promises. I nod and run forward, going quickly.

In the near distance are four men, trying to fend off and run from giant insect monsters. The road they're traveling on passes at the feet of hills. The sun has set enough the shadow of the hills falls on the road. The shadow insects have woken and moved off the hill to find food, and the men count. We'll count as well. I frown, not wanting this, and not understanding why the shadow insects are in this area. This area is populated and tended. The shadow insects don't like areas like this.

I pause just close enough to the road to use an energy blow to knock back the shadow insects so the men can get more distance. One of the men sees me and cries out, asking for help when he sees my sword. I move up to run with them and negotiate my fee.

They promise to pay me when we reach the next hill over where there is a barn and house that one of the men uses when they come to harvest plants in this area. They plan on staying there tonight, now that the shadow insects have shown themselves. They invite me to stay with them as well. I don't comment on that. They don't know I have Noriko with me.

"I have another client I'm working with as well, coming behind me," I tell them. They should know that much. "I came ahead when I heard your cries. I'm escorting her to her aunt's house."

Their eyebrows rise to hear it's a woman, but they're more interested in saving their lives. I turn and blow back shadow insects from behind us with a sword blow that contains energy. The wind tells me that Noriko is close enough now to see us, and she's no longer on the horse. My heart sinks a little. She won't be able to run to escape. Still, she seems determined to work her way back to my side.

After moving forward for a time, I hear Noriko call, "Izark, behind you! More monsters!"

I glance over my shoulder. The shadows between the two hills have deepened and the shadow insects are coming out in large numbers, larger than I've ever seen. _What's happened to this place?_

Noriko runs across the road, having been following it but farther from us and the shadow insects chasing us. She lures away the shadow insects that would have trapped us just long enough for us to pass them. I blow away that set once again, frustrated that I can't kill them. They're too large and too strong and I don't want to have the physical changes that would give me away to the men.

I blow away the ones closest to Noriko. In one leap I'm next to her. I wrap an arm around her middle and leap again to set her down behind the men on the road. Then they're all running as fast as they can and I'm keeping shadow insects back.

There's a cry behind me and I turn to see one of the men wounded by a shadow insect that came from an unexpected location. I pick him up and take care of the shadow insect. Noriko begins to tire and I take the bags on her shoulders from her. When even that isn't enough, and the shadow insects are as many in front as behind, I ask how much longer we have to go. I can't hold the wounded man, Noriko, and use my powers, and she is flagging.

The man who knows points up on the hill to the house we can see from here and everyone tries harder. I move to the front eventually so that we can pass through the shadow insects and we finally are at the door. It's opened and we all fall through it and it's slammed shut.

I set the wounded man down and turn just in time for another man to scream. I want to cut him. There's nothing in this building to harm anyone. "The aromatic stones ...we need the aromatic stones to burn to keep the shadow insects away from the house... but I left them in the barn!"

"I can get them," I say. They protest. "I can do energy attacks that will keep the shadow insects away long enough for me to fetch them. You'll have to open the door all the way so I don't destroy it, and close it immediately when I leave."

One nods and prepares. I get ready, then say, "Now!" He opens the door wide and I unleash an energy attack. The shadow insects that were on the door and around it are blown back. I run quickly through the gap and the door is slammed behind me. I glare at the shadow insects and see if I can intimidate them. They are unimpressed, only thinking of how hungry they are.

Here I don't have witnesses. I change to increase my power and send out a wave of energy that blasts those closest to me back. In that way I make my way to the barn and find the aromatic stones. Once I have them, I pull one out of the bag and light it with my fire power. The shadow insects pull back. I put one lit stone in each holder for them around the barn, then hold a lit one over my palm to walk safely to the house where I place them on the holders there.

When I'm back in the house again, they've given simple treatment to the man who was injured, putting him in one of the beds of this open one-room house. I'm not happy we'll all have to sleep on the floor here, but I can't take Noriko out until morning and the sun sends the shadow insects back to their places of hiding.

As dinner is prepared she and I become the focus of curiosity. I've already told them what I want them to know, but like Noriko warned might happen, the men choose to believe their own stories in their heads. To them, we're also a couple that's eloped. I can't hold down the blush, which is at least half anger, and that makes them decide it's truth.

I turn the topic to what the political atmosphere is here, wanting to know if Gaya's home will be safe for Noriko, and if we'll be allowed to pass through the land to get there.

"We heard that a rebel army had taken refuge on the mountain and the Kemil troops have taken over the town below," one man says. My heart falls. We're too close to the capital city, then. It may not work out.

"That's right. You guys were taking the mountain trails to avoid soldiers. I heard that some of the soldiers were looters. They're pretty nasty guys."

"Yeah! This guy could handle them," he's referencing me, "but it might make trouble for him later on..."

"Since you're with your wife, you have to be careful." This one nods knowingly.

I try to set them straight one more time. "I'm telling you, she's my client!" They still won't listen.

The wounded man is sitting up, recovered somewhat. He's looking out the window where the sounds of the shadow insects is distant. "Those things usually stay in the marshland over the mountain and never come this way."

"That's why we came out to pick the vegetables and camp overnight. We didn't think we'd have to worry about them." Even these men find it strange the shadow insects are here and so many of them.

The wounded man continues, "You know ...people are seeing a lot of strange things these days. They say it's happening everywhere. You know the flower insects in the Sea of Trees? My dad told me he never saw anything like them when he was a kid. Wars have become daily events, too. Something's very wrong these days."

I'm surprised that his father would know about something so far away from here. It's a new thing to hear of the changes that are happening in the world. It must because we're approaching the time of evil.

"You said it! Worst of all is the rumor that the Awakening has arrived in the Sea of Trees. That means the Sky Demon will wake up," another man complains. "What'll happen to us all? It's scary."

I happen to agree, but I wish they would change the topic. That was too much already. Noriko's looking at me with wide eyes, although I've refused to give her any clues this time. She'll have to figure it out on her own. Half of those words she doesn't know. After a sufficient pause, I turn to her and say lightly, "You must be tired, Noriko, after that ordeal. Let's make your bed."

Her eyes spit fire at me, but she only rises coldly to her feet. "Yes, Izark. It has been _hard_." She's very bitter and yet still sad that I won't tell her why these men also know about the place she entered this world in.

I set her bed next to the wall to keep her safe, then set my bed next to hers. The men will still assume we're together, but it's how I protect my clients as well, and we aren't in the _same_ bed. She would tear my eyes out tonight if we were and I would break her neck in the middle of the night ..._if only_. I can only sigh at my fate yet again.

She lies down with her back to me and stays silent. The men are giving me looks and sharing looks between them. They can feel the same strain that's been with us since the last town, and her cold words were obvious to even them.

-o-o-o-

Now that we'll be on foot, I'm anxious that we travel as quickly as we can. Noriko finally quiets the men who are trying to get us to reconcile over breakfast, telling them it's a minor disagreement that will work itself out eventually as they all do. The men still scold me as their parting words to us as we begin our walk to the town.

I don't want to hear Noriko's scold either, nor her questions about what she heard, so I walk ahead of her far enough she can't ask. Because her heart is heavy, her feet are as well, but the wind tells me where she is, and that she's still following me.

I try to calm down now that I'm where I can see sky and not be closed up. Paying attention to my breathing for a while helps to clear things a little. I slow down when the distance between Noriko and I is too far. She's sat down but comes soon enough. Riding means she isn't used to walking, where I've walked these countries for many years. When she sits down again and I get too far ahead I stop and look back, not wanting the delays.

I look down at Noriko's feet. She's traded her shoes of this world for those of her own. I'm also reminded that her legs are shorter than mine. If I'm impatient I'll leave her far behind if I don't walk to her pace. This time I walk with the wind telling me how far behind she is until I learn her pace. She varies it a bit, perhaps looking around her at the new things to see, but eventually she gives up and just walks. That helps me because the wind and I can walk with her without me thinking about the distance.

It occurs to me to wonder why she follows me. She could turn and run any direction now that we're not on the horse. I would catch her, and she knows how fast I can move, but it's like she doesn't want to. Like last night, when the horse bucked her off in its fear and left her behind. She could have stayed there and waited for me to come and fetch her. She could have run away. She could have even moved to where she could see us, then waited. Instead she followed with us a safe distance, then came to help us. Why?

Why does she come back to me, want to stay with me? By now she knows enough of the language to learn the rest without me. By now she should hate me enough to want to go. Is it because there's still no where else to go? Because she knows she's weak and needs my protection until she's in a safe enough place? Will she be relieved to have me leave her behind? Once again, I want to learn what she's like, what she'll do if...?

What is this Awakening like? What will I see in the end as my last sight when I'm consumed by the demon inside of me? Will I see eyes that look like the ones last night? Angry, hurt, betrayed, sorrowful? I can't see them being full of evil triumph, glee at my pain. That isn't Noriko. I don't believe it's the Teacher, either. The Teacher desires to bring others to understanding using truth and reason. A creature like that won't see the logic in the Sky Demon being born any more than I do.

I believe that Noriko is like me. If she becomes a thing to awaken the Sky Demon, it will only be because she was forced against her will to do it by evil men. As that settles in me as a truth, one stone is removed from my gut and I'm able to breathe one breath more easily.

I'm glad we've had this opportunity to be together. It's been long enough for me to learn who Noriko is, and some about what the Teacher is. I can be less afraid, less worried for the knowing. I'll worry for her, not having her where I can know and see that she's okay, not in the hands of evil. But I worry even more about the dangers of keeping her with me. I'm leaving her with Gaya because I know I can trust Gaya and she's a strong warrior of the Grey Bird tribe who can keep Noriko safe by sword not just by hiding her in the town.

The town appears as we reach the top of the final hill before the valley it's built in. It's on the other side of the valley from where we're entering it, and it spills down from the top of one of the hills set into the valley and spreads around it. There's farming activity in the valley and I can see patrols of soldiers on the roads throughout it. I wonder if they're protecting the people from the increased activity of monsters, or if they're just being kept busy so their commanders don't have to punish them for being bandits instead of protectors. We should try to avoid them if possible.

I turn to see Noriko is still walking towards me. She has her eyes closed and I wonder for how long? Has she also been feeling the wind? When she's close enough for us to talk, I make the wind push back on her and she stops and opens her eyes to look at me, unsurprised at how close she's found herself. That is new. It makes me think of when she jumped from the window in Calco. These little things are odd with no explanation.

"Noriko. I want you safe. With me is not safe. At this place is one who I trust. Please stay with her." I want her to understand at least that much, and obey me so she can stay safe, so I can stay safe.

Noriko ducks her head, an odd gesture. She's changed since our relationship changed. "I will stay. ...You will come back." I was relaxed to hear the answer I wanted. The additional statement and the look in her eyes make me flinch back in fear. She motions between us, her heart to mine and back. "This thread...even you cannot fight. I will wait."

She denies all my efforts, all my strength put into denying my fate. I don't want to hear that she's discovered even that, all on her own, that we're tied with something bigger than either of us. The anger comes out enough she sees it. "I don't like it too," she says sharply back to it. "I would let Izark free. If Izark was free, and Noriko was free, Noriko could go."

She has understood to that depth. I'm suddenly very alert, as if for battle. "Where would Noriko go?" Has she been staying, not running away, because she can't? Has her own bond to me and our destiny been made so unbreakable already?

Her eyes begin to drip tears. "Home." The pain of the distance between us is held in that one word.

I fight to not let my compassionate heart speak. Instead, I ask again, now that we have enough words, "Can Noriko go home?" I would wish she could.

She shakes her head. "I don't know." Her tears flow faster.

There is emptiness inside for a space, then I want to know. Softly I ask, "What would you do if you cannot go home?" Where would she run? What would she do today, when she is different in this new way?

Noriko looks away from me and pain is on her face. "If Izark was free and Noriko was free...today...I would die."

I'm frozen inside, but at the same time I'm reaching for her arm, angry with her for saying it, wanting to shake her back into the Noriko I know who would rather live through terrible unknown consequences than die to diseases she might never face.

She knew I would move and skips to the side quickly, out of my reach, then breaks into a run, around me and towards the town where she's already promised me she'll stay to wait for our destiny to bring us back together.

Because she does, I let her go and watch her, the frozen part of me trying to catch up to what just happened. She would die to any monster or man who was evil enough without me if she was free to leave my side, but that isn't what she meant.

I realize I'm angry that she'll fight to live as long as we're bound by our destinies, but if we were set free of them, she would choose to give up and die. I've wished to be free of it my whole life because I wish to live. How can I trust her if we have opposing desires?

My anger is sufficient that I must test her. I can kill her easily, give her the release she desires. My killing intent rises and with it the power within me, with her as the focus. I make the wind ask her if she will turn and return to me so that I can give her what she wishes for. The wind brings back her shudder of fear, her loneliness and loss, but her head doesn't turn and her feet flee even faster from me. Even with the offer being given, she will choose to live.

I understand this. I've had many days where the despair was so great that I would have killed myself, but some part of the center of me refused to give in, refused to die, said that the story wasn't done being written, and I would be dragged forward until my despair gave up and let me breathe again.

I release the energy gently and the killing intent, but I do not release Noriko. With one powerful kick I'm in the air and landing in front of her so that she runs into me and is captured in my arms.

This creature is like me. "I don't want Noriko to die. I want Noriko to be safe, to live." If she gives up, then I've given up, or been left to fade away alone.

She sobs into my jacket one more time, clutching it as tightly as she did the first day I found her, this time until she falls asleep she's cried so hard. They're the same tears as before, too. Grief, loneliness, impotent anger, despair, fear. They are like my tears.

I set her down in the grass and pull her blanket from her bag. I put the bag under her head and place the blanket over her. She won't sleep long, just enough to recover. I sit cross-legged and fold my arms while I keep watch over Noriko. I make the wind swirl around us just enough to keep any creatures away and to bring me the scent of any men who might come upon us.

Seeping into me is a firm promise. If we cannot be separated, if we're made to live out our destiny, the thing that will be mine in the end - my gift from that which makes it happen - will be Noriko, living, willful, and strong. She is like me and I am like her. I will fight my destiny. I will hope someday she will fight hers.


	15. Separation

The town is busy and Noriko's holding on to my jacket and walking very close to me so we don't become separated. I don't like how many bully gangs are hanging around the streets, and the numbers of soldiers is almost as bad. Normal life is going on, but the background noise isn't happy. It won't be safe for Noriko to explore the city on her own.

She apologized when she woke up, realizing that if I've freely taken care of her even through the diseases she gave herself, that her words were the height of ingratitude. She meekly promised to live and be obedient to my request. That was sufficient.

We're about half way to Gaya's store when Noriko steps very close to me, pulling on the back of my jacket a little, and pushes her face into my back. I can feel her trembling now that she's touching me. It isn't safe to stop right here so I walk us to the side of a building where we're out of the way and stop so she can recover. I'm keeping an eye on things around us as she does. "Are large places, many people new to you?" Always I'm wondering about her and where she came from.

Her head moves on my back, saying no. "That's not it." She takes a breath, still working to recover. "My home city is much, much bigger." I feel my eyebrow rise in surprise. I took her for a city girl, but not from a large one. "But all this is new. I'm seeing too much."

That I can understand. What her eyes are used to seeing and this may be similar, but are also different, I'm sure. I think it's also the fear of being left with someone she doesn't know in a place that is new, all over again. I fight to not feel with her, holding to the cool distance of the guard who's finally returning his charge to where he's promised to take her. It's also not safe to show weakness in places like this where eyes are already marking us and wondering if we're prey.

When she's calmed, she nods into my back and I resume our walk up the hill of this city. "Ah, please let me know when we close. I want to recognize it tomorrow," Noriko requests. It's a reasonable one. If she comes from a large city, she knows she needs to learn the landmarks to not become lost. I begin to point out the ones I use to find Gaya's store when we're getting close.

Noriko tugs on my jacket to stop me. "Izark, look right. Do you see them?" I scan the street to our right. There's a group of bullies there and I let my eyes linger on them so they know I know they are there. They look away as if they weren't thinking of anything. "Yes, them," Noriko says.

I look down at her. Her city must also have been similar. Were they also at war? "You can see those kind?"

She nods soberly. "What do I do in this place if they decide I prey?"

I get us walking again while I think. "Say you're on an errand and late. Run if you need to. If it's that many, don't use your knife. Keep it hidden. They all have them and you'll lose."

Noriko nods. "My world, same." It's a sad statement. "And soldiers?" she asks. "They are not in my world. ...Well not where I live." So some places are this bad, her's not so much. I suppose that's good.

I hope she won't run into the soldiers, though. It's troubling that they're marked as trouble makers. "Hide if you see them." I keep my eyes open and when I see a set of them, I nod towards them.

She studies how they look. "Hats over non-hats?" she asks astutely.

I nod. "If you're with Gaya, you might be okay to not hide, but if you're alone, always hide." They like to have their way with young women who seem alone. I also don't need them doing that then learning what she is, although I don't think they would. She isn't anything like what people imagine the Awakening to be. It's that she's just different enough that her story of being from an island might not be enough to satisfy them.

"Okay." Her grip on my jacket tightens a little.

I point to the last three landmarks, and then we are to the general store Gaya opened when our caravan ended it's trip here. Noriko lets go and comes at her own pace. Gaya was outside closing up the shop so has seen me. She greets me with a large smile and a hug. She's the only one that does that, and I suffer through it, pleased to see her as well. She's not surprised to learn I followed her advice and became a traveling warrior.

I step inside the shop with her to talk to her. Quietly I explain, "Gaya, I need you to watch over someone for me, if you're willing. Noriko's from a far island. Her family died of disease after they got here. I came across her alone and she's been with me since. She needs someplace safe to stay. If you could be an aunt to her, I would be grateful.

"She's very good with negotiation and would be helpful in the shop. She's always done her best to help me in what little ways she could, so I'm sure she won't be any more of a burden than she has to be."

Gaya turns to face Noriko who followed us into the shop and is waiting on us. Noriko bows to Gaya. "I've been teaching her our language, but she's still learning it," I add. "There are a lot of things about our continent that are strange to her."

Gaya walks up to Noriko, who is obviously nervous. Gaya smiles at Noriko, who smiles back shyly. Gaya immediately pats Noriko on both shoulders enthusiastically, like she does. "She smiled! A girl is prettiest when she smiles." Noriko's surprised by that sort of greeting. I am, too, actually.

Then Noriko grins back at Gaya. I'm able to relax. Noriko will know how to get along with Gaya. Gaya turns to face me and wraps her arm around Noriko's shoulders. "Don't worry, Izark. She'll be fine here."

-o-o-o-

It's hard to settle to sleeping that night. Noriko is in the bedroom next to mine. It's my test to see if I can hold still and be content with her not in reach. I argue with myself a lot as I wait for the time I usually sleep. Most of it is spent telling all the parts of me to shut up.

I stay in bed as long as I can in the morning. I want to run away quickly but that would offend Gaya, to not stay for breakfast at least. It's really my own mind I want to run away from anyway. This confused mix of emotions that Noriko brings to me often.

I don't want to have to face her this morning. I don't want to see her eyes as I walk away. I'm afraid I won't be able to go if the Teacher looks out and scold me, or if Noriko is too sad and her eyes beg me to take her with me again. I can't do it. I can't bring her the pain of my destiny.

I'm mostly dressed when I realize she's left her room and is on her way to or past mine. I stand in the middle of the room and watch my door, wondering what she's doing this time. My door clicks open quietly and she pokes her head in. Without saying anything, or waiting for invitation, she slips in and closes the door behind her. In her hand is her brush and light blue fabric - the color of her overdress. _Has she been up all night working on that?_

Noriko walks up to me and looks up into my eyes. Hers say very little. "Good morning."

I can't meet her eyes any longer than that. I look away and reply with the same. "Good morning."

That was taking my eyes off of her just long enough to remember why I keep them on her. She has my sleeve and is dragging me to sit back down on my bed. While I try to catch up, she kneels behind me and the next thing I know her brush is at the ends of my hair, brushing out the snarls gently from the ends to the top of my head as she works through all of it.

I shiver inside, remembering the time I finally relented and chose to enjoy touching her hair through the excuse of painting her itching welts. This can only be that moment returning to punish me. I keep my mouth closed, although I'm tense. If I have to pay for that time, I'll suffer through it and properly pay my penance.

One more time the brush goes through all the hairs as Noriko gathers them into one hand. She puts the brush down, then I feel her fingers begin to weave them. At that I do want to protest and begin to do so. Only women wear braids in this world. Noriko silences me before the words can leave my lips, firmly putting her hand on my shoulder and turning my head back so she can continue. _Is this a strange going-away custom of her world?_ I wonder.

But the farther down the braid goes, the more my heart plunges into darkness. The ends are tied so the braid will stay in. It's as if the chain is completed and set. Then Noriko's hand is on my shoulder again and she's leaning over me. She places the embroidered bandana on my forehead, then leans back and ties it on. I swallow through a constricted throat as my neck feels like it was just bound, not my head. It's as if the Teacher has claimed the Sky Demon, all without words. Why have I sat here quietly and allowed it?

"Don't destroy it unless you're going to come back and get it repaired. At least remember I wanted to be at your back, and am walking with you." She's still unhappy with being left behind. Even if this isn't a tradition of her world, it is her farewell, her small protest, her gift that I don't want.

I rise to my feet to look into her face. Her expression matches her words. I cannot come back, even if she pleads with me in this way. And I cannot be happy that the Teacher has claimed me, to say I'm hers and no one else's.

Noriko bows to me and collects up my bag. I remember how it was her security before when I left her in the cave. Even if she keeps it this time, I won't stay. She stands ready to leave my room and looks back at me. "Thank you, Izark, for all things." Before I can answer or move, she's slipped out the door and closed it behind her.

I slump to my bed and reach for my boots, fighting the lump at the back of my throat that's too tight. My hand reaches for the bandana at my forehead, but stops on the way. When it returns to the boot lacings, I pull almost tight enough to snap the lacing.

All of the parts of me that argued all night war within me again. I can't remove what she's done, and I'm angry, but I'm also sorrowful and want to have the gift so that there is some part of her with me - that part that spent all night making it so she could gift it to me before I walk out of her life.

Gaya's surprised at the braid in my hair. I blush in embarrassment, but don't say anything. Noriko studiously ignores us both. Only her hands could have done it and she doesn't care how we see it. Gaya, for once, wisely holds her tongue. I must suffer through a goodbye hug from Gaya, as she promises one more time to take good care of Noriko for me. Then it's time to leave.

Noriko hands me my bag. I look at only it. I even more can't meet her eyes now. "Water and herbs are full, as are trail snacks and soaps. Please be kind to your clothing." It's as if my wife has prepared for my leaving and is sending me on my way. I give her a nod and take the bag.

As I walk out the door, Noriko bows. I pause just outside the door to remove the tie holding the braid and shake out my hair. To walk through the city like that would draw too many eyes. As my hand clenches to hold the tie tightly in my fist, I realize she wasn't seeing from the perspective of a wife. Rather she was being a servant.

My eyes mist enough to make it difficult to see as I walk with purposeful strides away from Gaya's store. I don't want Noriko to be anyone's servant, least of all mine. I want her to be free to be whatever she wants to become here in the place. I want for us to be left alone and our destiny to not be written already. I want to see her smile as she does things that please her and fill her with excitement. I don't want the sober, cold creature she's turning into.

-o-o-o-

I found work before I left the town. I'm down far enough in coin that I need to make it up. It's rare for me to go for three months without work. I had the little the four men gave me for saving them from the shadow insects, but it wasn't enough for both an inn that night and meals. I'll need to sleep at inns until I'm far enough away from the area the shadow insects are in.

I found someone who needed help driving more than one wagon of supplies to a garrison of soldiers at the other end of the valley, closer to the capital city. I don't really want to be that close to it, but the pay was sufficient. They allowed me to sleep there in the hay loft for no charge and only a small fee for the meal.

They pointed me towards the nearest village where I'll look for more work to move me onward away from this place. As I enter the village, even they have complaints, and they are bad. It's as if the closer I get to the capital city the more corruption there is. The government controls the harvests, and thus the costs the people have to pay, and they're raising them rather than see their people properly fed.

The village leadership delays granting a merchant a permit until they pay a bribe, making his products more expensive as well. A mother bemoans her son's fate to be punished for the crimes of others in power because no one can go against them. It's a sad state this country and the world are coming to, where evil men prosper at the expense of the meek who merely wish to live their lives peacefully.

I'm paying attention to these conversations the wind brings me as I listen for possible work opportunities. I hear feet in a hurry, but am surprised when they carry a person into mine, and with a bump I'm paying closer attention to my immediate surroundings.

"I'm sorry," a female voice says.

Instinctively, I grab at her arm. "Noriko?" The name is out of my mouth before I can prevent it. The size and the fluffy hair were similar, but the surprised face looking into mine is of a local girl. "Ah, sorry, my mistake," I apologize and let her go.

I put my hand to my face in embarrassment as I walk on. I've become too accustomed to having Noriko with me. To have let down my guard enough to not have even noticed the woman was that close isn't like the me before Noriko came. It isn't bad that I let her through since she's what I protect also, but if I were to let anyone who meant me harm get that close it would be very bad. I would have another set of ruined clothing and that person would likely be dead before I realized what I was doing. She was lucky I only grabbed her.

I didn't need the reminder of Noriko. I'd been finally not thinking so much of her. I need to let her go and move forward. I try again as I look around for anything that might bring me work. Nearby is a tavern. Sometimes those who are in the middle of travels rest there. Sometimes I can hear things that will bring me work.

I head there and walk up to the bar. It's worth it to give up a little coin for drink if I can get more coin from work found. Not that any of it tastes any good in small villages like this, nor can I get drunk. Two who are trying turn to me to add another person to their tales of woe and complaint. Their business was taken from them because they couldn't meet the stringent requirements placed on them because they weren't the favored shippers. I could probably help them, but they're already too drunk and already have lost the work.

As I begin to listen to the wind, I suddenly hear instead my name. "_Izark!_" I turn and look around the room, but don't see anyone who would know me. I stand at the bar, confused. It almost sounded like Noriko's voice, and rather panicked at that. Am I hearing things now? I don't understand.

As I'm about to try listen to the other conversations in the room again, I feel a strong presence behind me. Words come with it. "I see. So I can win the prize just by twisting this girl's arm, eh?"

The wind brings me words to help me understand just a little better. These are from above, on the second floor of this place. "He's the champion of the last tournament. He's as strong and cruel as number three." I'm not interested in facing someone like that, even if they do need the lesson. Most believe I'm weak, being young and thin. It's not a good disguise when I want to be left alone by these kinds.

"Hey some rich guy wants to watch us fight. If you win, you can get a huge reward. He watching us from up there." The muscled man is bald at the top of his head, but the rest of his hair is long. He's dressed for fighting, no loose clothing and it's all simple, even short sleeved. He must be called upon frequently. The "rich guy" is standing at an opening from the second level that looks down on the tavern area. He has several guards and an attendant with him. He's cruel just from this distance.

I've come across people similar to this before. They bet on the fighters, but all they want to see is men hurting each other. I don't need a "reward" of that kind. The wind brings words from those watching from above again.

"It's obvious which one is going to win, Mister Nada. It'll be boring if the fight is over too quickly."

"Well, sometimes it's fun to watch a fast game." I recognize the name. He's one of the people in contention for the throne of Zago. My stomach turns. What an awful person to have lead a nation. I hope he doesn't win.

A sudden flash of sound distracts me. "_Izark!_" It's much clearer this time, and it's definitely Noriko in great distress. _Are you calling me?_ What's happened? Is she in danger?

Regardless, I want out of this situation and place. I grab up my bag. "Sorry, I'm not interested in fighting. Go find someone else." I'm already moving.

"Hey, hey, you can't do this to me!" the big man confronting me says. He grabs my shoulder as soon as I'm past him. "I won't get the prize money until I beat you."

_Like that's important?_

From above, loud enough to be heard by both of us, and more, Nada says, "That's it! He'll have to fight to save his life."

"You hear that?" the big man says, pulling me back.

I answer him by grabbing his wrist and twisting his arm. He twists with it until I can push on his back. He flies past several tables and I'm headed out the door.

"Wait! Wait!" Nada calls out. I ignore him, striding out the door and back down the street the way I came.

_Why am I hearing the voice of the Awakening? Noriko's never called to me in my head before, even when she was afraid._ This isn't my skill, to hear the voices of others, nor to be a seer. Yet...I'm sure she's in trouble. I pause my forward motion in confusion again. Do I go back and make sure she's okay, or do I flee because the chain she put on me yesterday has pushed me even closer to what I don't want to become?

"_I-zar-k ...help!_"

I'm up on top of a building, looking towards the town I left Noriko in. _If I run as fast as I can, I'll be there in two and a half hours. What will happen to her in that time? Will I get there in time?_

I blink, surprised at myself, worried about my own safety as well as hers, then I'm interrupted by the feel of something even more than the man I just left behind. There's another man up here on the roof with me. Not very men can do what I did and jump from the road to the roof of a building. Keimos comes to mind and I spin around.

It isn't him, to my relief. Rather it looks like another sort of fighter as before. I remember that Nada mentioned numbers. There are more fighters who are used for the sport of that slimy man. "Do you have supernatural powers?" he asks, but he doesn't care to wait for the answer. "Come with me. I can impress Lord Nada if I take you."

"Not interested," I reject him immediately. I don't live to make other people look good, nor for them to stroke their own egos.

I'm already to the next building's roof when his words and a wind reach me. "Don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm like that big ape you just saw, pal."

It wasn't my wind, and once again I'm taken off guard. I get a lungful of something in that wind. My own wind swirls up to chase whatever it is away, but it's already too late. "I have a supernatural power. I can control wind. You've already breathed in my wind, haven't you? It's a mixture of green-root herb and full-moon fragrance. Enjoy the taste."

I'm not. My limbs are already not responding to me and I slump to my knees. My eyesight is dimming and my head is swimming. As unconsciousness overtakes my poisoned body, I can only curse at myself for becoming too relaxed. This close to a city brimming with evil was not the time or place to allow that kind of slip up. My last thought is of Noriko. _I'm sorry. Please stay safe._


	16. Imprisoned

"Mmm...," I wake slowly, feeling very weak. It isn't uncommon, so I just let myself continue to wake up as I always do when the weakness overtakes me. But, I hear voices. Normally I hide myself when the old ailment overtakes me.

"If Gaya was alone she'd have easily survived a situation like that because she's one of the Grey Bird tribe's greatest warriors."

_Gaya?_ My eyes finally open. The world is a little hazy still, but then so is my mind. I'm trying to understand. Why would Gaya's name have been said in my hearing?

"But Noriko is just a girl. I'm worried about what happened to her in all the confusion."

_What?_ Memory floods through me and I'm pushing up as fast as I can. "What are you discussing?" I ask, but I'm brought up short as chains clank and my hands don't part far at all. My wrists are bound with steel cuffs, chained together.

I look around. "What's this?" My ankles are also bound in the same way, and I'm in a stone room with a dirt floor, alone. I turn and look the other way and there are bars as the fourth wall. Across a hallway is another room like mine. Sitting in it are an old distinguished gentleman and three young men. They must be the ones who were talking. "Where am I?" I ask.

"We're in the prison cells of Nada's castle," they tell me.

I scowl and push up to sit up, my head reeling still just a little. I think I don't like the man who poisoned me. I very much don't like Nada, who will lock someone up for not wanting to hurt someone else, and having better things to do with their time. I put my hand to my head, not liking that the other hand must come with to dangle in the air.

Either they're afraid of me, or wish to humiliate me and teach me a "lesson". I suppose if they believe I have supernatural powers like that man, they may believe I might be dangerous to them. They aren't wrong, so I let it sit a cold ember for now. I have things I need to know first, and more recovery time before I can act anyway.

"You were talking about Gaya and Noriko just now. Can you tell me what happened? I know them. I was just there."

They take turns telling me their story. The gentleman introduces them. "I'm Grand Duke Jeida de Gilenee. These are my sons, Rontarna and Koriki. I'm the Duke of the Left Wing, but because I believe that peace is more important than war, and helping our people our duty rather than greed, others in the government have framed me for being the one to instigate the rebels.

"I and my family fled our home two nights ago. Banadam is a member of the Grey Bird tribe. He took us to the town to see if Gaya would let us spend the night there. He hoped she would be another sword to defend us, and we might not be found."

"We were going to leave the next morning, but somehow we were discovered and the troops attacked the shop in the middle of the night," Rontarna says, a scowl on his face.

"We've been brought here in secret, kept political prisoners in Nada's castle until dad's rival, Grand Duke Kemil, can arrive to do whatever he wants to get rid of the thorn in his side," Koriki is very angry. His father tries to calm him.

"I'm sure Gaya wasn't captured," Banadam says. "I didn't see Noriko during the fighting, so Gaya probably had her hide away somewhere. Likely she'll keep watching over her." He looks like he's trying to talk himself into believing it.

"When was that?" I ask.

"Last night. You were brought here this afternoon. It's sometime into the night now," Duke Jeida answers.

I try to work through the timing. If they were captured the first night after I left Noriko there (_so fast!_) but I heard her later that morning, then she was unharmed during the battle and it was a different fear. Or was she taken and being tortured later that morning?

I'm suddenly a mess inside at that thought. They don't seem to think that was a possibility, though, so I try to calm back down. Still, it's a worry and I can't know as long as I'm chained in here.

I try to pull the chain apart, but I still don't have access to my powers. My body will have to recover first from the poison. _It's irritating._ Some guards have come to check on us and I ignore them, resting while I can and have to.

As I rest, to my mind comes the image of Noriko as she looked at me with those eyes that were angry and sad, beginning to tear with lonely despair as she answered my questions. _I'm sorry, Noriko. If I've allowed you to be captured by them, harmed by them... If I had known that this would have happened because I left you, I would never have left you to begin with._

To think that I might have moved us even closer to our undesired destiny in trying to protect us from it cuts me. I put my head on my arm, propped up by my knee, and grieve.

There is no way for me to know if a choice I make takes me a step towards Destruction or away from it. No one can see it. I can only do what I think is best and I'm failing at every turn. My mind gives up and I can only wish to see Noriko again, to know that she's safe and I haven't done more harm than I thought I would in leaving her behind.

Dawn comes into my cell through a barred window high above where I sit. I would leave out of it if I had my power back. I wish the drug would wear off faster. I'm probably more recovered than they would expect, since I do recover faster than normal men, but it's still taking too long for me.

Then I have a new thought. _I wonder...if I can call Noriko? I heard her voice. Could I also talk to her?_ I think of her again, picturing her, and put my whole desire to know how she is into the asking. I'm sure she was doing the same when she called me, that she was very frightened and wanting me to be with her very badly. I try to see her next to me and call for her. "Noriko."

Nothing happens. I try again, saying her name a little louder. "Noriko." I want to know so badly that she's still alive, still herself, and if she is taken, I want to know where so I can find her.

I suddenly hear, "_Izark, I'm here._" To my wondering eyes comes a vision. Noriko is kneeling up on a cloth. Near her are Gaya, a man, and a little girl. It looks like they're eating a meal.

"Noriko! I can see you!" I say in surprise.

"_Yes, I can see you also. Are you okay?_" she asks.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" I ask.

"Hey! What are you spacing out for!" There's a slam on the bars of my cell that interrupts my connection to Noriko and I'm suddenly only seeing the cell ...and the last person I want to be seeing - Lord Nada. He has guards with him and they're all looking at me. Two hold the spears of the prison guards. Three are fighters, both of the ones sent after me yesterday and one other. "Lord Nada is here to visit you. Treat him with respect!"

I glare at them. Nada chuckles, holding his folded fan to his chin as if he needs it to protect him, to keep his head attached to his body. "What's wrong? You don't look well, poor fellow. Now you know what happens when you disobey me, eh?"

Pompously he says, "I am Nada. I will be the next king. But you don't seem to know that, dolt. Now you understand how great my power is and how stupid you are, right?" He laughs an oily, horrible laugh.

_You ...insect._ I turn away from him, not caring what he has to say. I'm angry they interrupted before I could learn from Noriko what happened, but she seemed fine. If she's with Gaya now, and they can eat peacefully, then perhaps it was something someone else was able to take care of - maybe that man. I would be grateful if he was one who was willing to help a girl who was being attacked.

I'm surprised I could see her, and she could see me. I only heard her before. "- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, YOU IDIOT!"

I turn back to the screaming insect. It doesn't matter what he'd been saying. He still wants me to fight because once he's decided it will happen, it has to happen. "I lost my strength, thanks to the drug that guy behind you gave me. I'm in no condition to fight." Not that I'd be willing regardless.

"He'll be fine by tomorrow, Sir," the man answers calmly.

The other man who confronted me first leans over Nada's shoulder to speak to him. "Lord Nada?"

"Barago?" Nada asks.

"He doesn't seem to realize the seriousness of his situation. Look at how arrogant he is... He doesn't even know he's being rude to you."

He has egged Nada. "Hmm. You're right."

"Shouldn't we teach him a lesson?" The man wants to beat on me while I'm still weak for putting him on the floor at the tavern.

Nada motions to the guards, willing to see more pain dealt out given any excuse. One unlocks my cell and Barago enters it. Stupid. "Apologize to Lord Nada," Barago demands. I give them silence. "Kneel before him!" Barago yells at me. I don't move.

He grabs my hair and slams my head into the ground and is kneeling on my back. "It upsets me to see a lowly swordsman being so rude to a nobleman!" _Yeah, right. You just want a reason to beat on people, too._ "You're garbage! You hear me?! Nothing but garbage!" His hand begins to squeeze my head painfully.

"Hey, you're heavy," I say calmly, then I move, pushing up with my hands to kick up with my feet, throwing Barago off of me. "Get off my back!" I kick him in the face, making him fall back.

"Y-you swine!" He's up and coming for me again. "You think just because you got lucky yesterday..."

I don't let him finish as I dodge his reaching hand and slam his forehead with the top of my head. He cries out and stumbles back.

While he's staggering, I surge forward and snatch his sword from its sheath, swing it around and point it at Barago's throat. He's pressed up against the far wall, fearing for his life. That reaction tells me that Nada regularly has losers pay with their lives. Likely this one's killed many of his own share.

Because I haven't followed through, Barago clenches his teeth to his fear. "You sneak. You lied about not being able to fight."

"I didn't lie," I disagree. "It took a lot of effort to do that." Similar to the fight in Calco, actually. I'm almost out of breath and if he were to rush me we'd be in a reverse situation.

"What are you doing!? Kill him. I give you my permission to do so." Nada urges me.

"That nobleman wants me to kill you. Do you want to die?" I think Barago is rethinking his life. He shakes his head, not wanting that at all.

"Okay then, I won't kill you," I lower the sword point from his neck, but keep hold of the sword. "I thought of using you as a hostage to get myself out of here but it looks like that won't work."

Nada's disappointed. _Good_. "That's okay," he says, "you defeated Barago well. It was good fighting. I'll reward you with a bag of gold. Let me say this again. I plan to host a royal tournament at my castle in two days. All my warriors will take part. I want you in it, too. You'll be free of the drug's effects by then, right?

"If you win, I'll reward you with twenty bags of gold and the highest position in the palace guard. Don't you want the prize? It would be a shame not to use your skills."

Even in not giving him what he wanted, I gave him what he wanted to begin with - a fight against Barago. I sigh at myself. "I don't want the palace guard position. If you promise to set me free, however, I'll fight in your tournament. I don't think it's a bad deal for you." I think we're both lying to each other, but I want at least an admission he might let me go, and I think he wants to see even more what I can do now when I'm not weakened.

"Very well," he agrees, preparing to leave. "I haven't asked for your name yet."

"Izark."

"Chief Chamberlain! Move this man to a cell in the main building, but keep him chained," Nada orders the man behind him.

"Yes, Sir!"

Duke Jeida and his sons and guard are watching from the other cell, standing out of concern. Nada turns and sees them. "Well. Here you are, Jeida. ...'Former' Duke of the Left Wing. You used to criticize me. What a whiner!" He gets a sudden expression of delight on his face. "I have a great idea. I'll invite you to the tournament. You're such a coward that you hate the sight of blood, right?"

The duke tries to address Nada, but Nada turns around suddenly and begins to walk out of the prison. "I'm going to town. You take care of the rest of the preparations for the tournament, okay?" The chamberlain bows. "Orne! Kaidar! Come with me." The two fighters follow Nada out.

"Hmph. Lord Nada isn't speaking to you anymore, Barago," the chamberlain touts over the man still in the cell with me.

Barago grits his teeth, but this must also be common for Nada, to act like a man has already died even if he wasn't killed. I turn to the guards outside the cell and drop his sword through the bars. "I'd rather he not take his revenge with that," I say. The guard smirks and picks it up and they chivy him out of my cell and relock it.

"Are you going to be okay?" Rontarna asks after the guards are gone, the Chamberlain gone with them to set up things for moving me.

"I'll be fine," I answer. I give a small smirk. "It'll be easier to escape from there than from here." They give me knowing looks and whisper wishes of good fortune. If they're going to be there to watch it, I wonder if there's a way to earn their freedom as well. I'll have to keep my ears open for possibilities. It would be a shame for Zago to lose a man as good as Duke Jeida.

-o-o-o-

Lord Nada's castle is opulent, no expenses spared, even for his warriors. Barago is still around, but in the background unless he's being teased by the other warriors. My room is sparse. A cabinet and a bed, with a simple candle on the cabinet. It's sufficient for me, who won't be here long.

They post two guards at my door, but they return my bag to me. It's been looted, but my clothes are still in it. I'm glad I didn't have very much earnings saved up yet.

I do hope to find my sword and knife again, though. ...Or any sword and knife. I suppose I could just take any one I find here in the castle when I go, since he's willing to pay me twenty bags of gold to beat all of his warriors. I'm sure he doesn't expect me to be able to do it. If I bother to, I'll be sure he pays properly.

I try many times over that day and into the next to get in contact with Noriko again, but nothing I do works. Perhaps I'm no longer worried enough. There isn't the same sort of emotion or need to talk to her now. I would like to know where she is, though, so I know where to go when I get out of here.

The chamberlain fetches me at the end of the day and has the guards escort us to the baths. That's just as opulent as the rest of the castle. I'm feeling very pampered, actually, except I still have the restraining chains on my hands and feet. I bide my time. I can break out of them any time now. I'm considering leaving tonight, actually. No need to be here to feed Nada's sick soul.

On the return to my room I'm teased - from a distance - by the warriors hanging around the courtyard of the sleeping quarters. "Hey, hey! Doesn't he look like a princess accompanied by her guards?"

"Hee-hee! He's even chained and held at sword point." It's spears, but whatever.

"Poor guy. He doesn't know what's gonna happen to him at the tournament tomorrow."

"Look! That's ...Barago."

"He's carrying a bottle of liquor, that jerk. Drunk again!"

Barago is suddenly running at me with a battle-cry. He slams me against the wall of the hallway. The guards are yelling at him, but because he can put them on the floor, they only verbally protest. "Because of _you_, I... I... crap!" He's shoving something between my belt and my clothes, surprising me. "Aw, hell. I've worked so hard to get where I am!" He's loudly complaining, but only acting drunk so he can get close to me like this.

The guards request help from the other warriors. They swarm Barago and pull him off of me, throwing him to the ground and kicking him. They turn their teasing attention to him for their entertainment and the guards hurry me into my room. Barago takes it, I notice as the door closes, as if he is too far gone drunk and depressed to fight back.

When I'm sure the guards are going to ignore me, I fish behind my belt and pull out the paper.

_I wanted to be a big shot. I could'a been a contender! I've worked so hard all my life! But look at me. I have become a man who takes advantage of other people's weaknesses just to score points. What a loser I am! I've become a hideous person. To make things worse I was happy to serve an insect like Nada._

_When I realized the mistakes I've made in my life, I needed to atone for my errors. That's what I want to do now. Let me make it clear that I still hate you. It's up to you whether you believe me or not, but I tell you this: You'll be forced to fight seventeen men at once including me at the tournament tomorrow._

I crumple the note in my hand. _I see. So that's why I didn't sense that he wanted to kill me._ I set the note on fire while holding it in my hand and scatter the fine ashes on the floor as if they're just more dust for the maid to clean up after I'm gone.

"_Izark._" It can't be, can it? I've been trying so hard.

"_Noriko!?_" I don't answer aloud this time. I don't want the guards to hear my voice. "_Are you okay?_"

"_Yes, Izark._" I'm relieved she heard me. She says a lot of words in a hurry, but I understand. We only saw each other for a short time last time. I'm not interrupted this time, though. "_We are at an inn outside the stadium, Gaya, Geena, and I. Geena's father, Agol, is in the castle with you. He is there to free Grand Duke Jeida, his two sons, and guard Banadam...and you. Please use him. He has agreed to it. He will be the newest of Nada's guard. He won today's tournament._"

"_Agol?_" I confirm the name I need to remember.

"_Yes_."

If Barago really wants to atone, I wonder if he would help us, too. He would know where the man who can control wind rooms. If I could use his poison, we could escape easily. It's very helpful now that Nada has "invited" the duke to watch the tournament. "_There's also another fighter here who wants to help. I think I know how we can get free. Meet us outside the city._" We'll have to all leave in a hurry. The plans build up in my mind.

"_Gaya wants us to go to the next country over, Guzena, to hide with her sister. Geena is a seer, even though she is a child. She says we should go through the white mist woods._"

I blink in surprise. I wouldn't mind talking to another seer to understand how things are now that Noriko's here. Having a place to go far from here is good, too. I'm now trying to not hope too much. From the heartache to easy relief is rather a wide stretch to walk in one leap. "_That's north. We'll meet you there, on that side of the town,_" I instruct her.

"_Okay_."

I'm grateful that she's been kept safe and there are those who are protecting her. I'm finally able to relax. I'll be able to face tomorrow without worries.


	17. Jailbreak

From where the guards have me wait for the tournament I can hear the trumpets blare to announce the opening of the tournament in honor of the king. They say it as if they honor the current king, but they're honoring the man they wish to see as king. I don't think the current king would approve of this tournament.

I've taken off the bandana Noriko made for me and left it in my bag. I don't want to destroy it. Even the hint of the possibility makes me shiver given her words to me and the time she spent on it. I'm also wearing what the fighters wear - pants and a short sleeve top that won't give much purchase to be grabbed during the fight. I do wear the wraps on my forearms. I don't need the scales to be seen. They'll only look like a defense to the spectators.

The guards give me a wooden bat as my tool to defend myself with. That means swords are illegal in fighting tournaments. I'm glad there are still a few reasonable rules, but bats kill, too. I'm announced and urged out the fancy entrance to go into the fighting arena here in the castle.

There are stands set up around three sides. On one of them with fancy draperies sits Nada in a chair similar to a throne. His guests sit with him. On a different side, close to the wall of the castle I came out of is a covered area. It isn't too obvious, because Duke Jeida sits there with his three young men, guarded, and it looks like they're also chained as I was. It's good they aren't close to Nada.

As I enter the center of the ring, Nada rises to his feet, needing to feel self-important. "You fool, Izark. You have no idea what's about to happen to you, do you? Let me introduce the guys you'll be fighting." The seventeen sturdy fighting men run out from under a different opening and surround me. Each holds a wooden bat in hand and leers at me, save Barago, who is looking angry.

Nada continues, like a child who needs all the attention. "Gentlemen, you may already have realized what's happening, but let me tell you that this first match is purely for entertainment. The guy standing in the middle of the arena is a traveling warrior who doesn't know his place. He acted rudely towards me so I decided to have him fight all my palace guards at once. Now he's going to show us how good he is. Let's all enjoy watching the fight."

The numbers of spectators who cheer and call out surprise and sicken me. They enjoy coming here and know what Nada likes - blood and death. They also are here for that "entertainment". How can men be so evil? Even a few women are here. My stomach turns, but I have a job to do. Nada is going to pay me to steal his prisoners from him.

Grand Duke Jeida rises to his feet in anger. "This isn't a fair game at all. End it now! Why don't you all ask him to stop it? This is disgusting!" He's shoved back into his seat by his guards and talked badly about by many around the field. He has my gratitude and respect for being willing to stand up to the evil, even when chained in the house of his enemy.

Nada calls the beginning of the match. Barago immediately calls out, "Nobody move! Let me go first!" They all know he has a vendetta against me, so they let him come at me. That works for my plan so I move to meet him, allowing him to clash into me. I defend close enough to my body to talk to him quietly. He agrees to my plan and I hit him hard enough to send him out of the ring of encircling warriors. They jeer and a few rush me. He disappears into the castle to do his part.

I dodge the first man to reach me, moving fast enough to dodge all of his swings. That makes him angry and he comes at me with a strong blow. I stop the bat with a simple hand held out. My energy shield takes the force of the blow. He pulls back, but my grip on the bat is greater than his. I shove the end of the bat closest to him into his solar plexus, using energy behind it and he is blown into the man standing behind him.

Now I have two bats. The other men, angry that I've bested two of them now, rush me. I slam the bats together, then run around the field giving each one of them good smacks that put them on the ground. I'm moving too fast for them to find me, or touch me.

The last one falls and I return to the center of the field. I play with the bats, spinning them around in front of me, and then one behind my back to catch it again, as if I am an acrobat. I've often found this to be an effective deterrent. Gaya did it when she defended me from the thugs in the caravan to get them to back off - and they did. I liked it as an alternative to always attacking or only defending.

"What's wrong?" I taunt them as they try to recover. "Don't want to fight any more?" I need to delay the end of the fight, so I've only put them on the ground, not really damaged them for how tough they are. It was a surprise move so they're more stunned than harmed at this point.

"The rat. He's entertaining himself," an angry voice says from the spectators. I think it was Nada, who doesn't like things suddenly turning around on him. He is the one who shouts out while shaking his folded fan angrily at his warriors. "What are you guys doing! You're only fighting one guy, so hurry up and kill him! Remember, you're fighting for my honor."

_A threat even. Not wise when there are this many and all stronger than you are._ They're up on their feet again, however. The bravest one, who has a cheat, gives them the pep talk, like the leader of the thieves in Calco did. "Let's pull ourselves together, guys. This guy's really tough. It's time to quit playing around. Let's get serious." He's setting up the other men to fall so he can use his special power to win in the end, just like all those who stand in his place and get cocky having something "extra".

The rest rush me and I leap into the air, landing outside their now compact grouping. I rush them and hit each of them harder this time. One of the men grabs my arm, his fingers grasping onto the wrap on my arm. I throw him and his grip is tight enough he tears the wrap. I cover the hole with my other hand to hide the scales. They've been slowly expanding ever since Noriko arrived, although I've had them since I was a child.

_Do I go back to her? Or once everyone from here is safe again, do I leave her with them and move on alone?_ They might get into trouble again, but I know there are strong people with them. Gaya, Barago, and perhaps Agol who protected her before when I couldn't. _Once they are in a different country, will they be able to live peacefully again?_

After she talked to me last night, I sat on my bed, leaning against the wall. I couldn't deny that talking to her had made me feel so happy inside. The last days without her have been full of confusion, darkness, and loneliness. I'm drowning, but I'm drowning either way. _Is it better to drown in the final days of life in happiness or darkness?_

I'm torn, but having had it in my life finally for the last three months, I'm beginning to believe I'd rather be happy. That will have to fight against my fear, but it has more weight now than it did just being the wishes of the child inside of me. I have a proper comparison now.

"Izark!" comes from the castle side of the arena. I turn and a man I don't recognize, but dressed to fight is rushing me, a bat in hand. His other hand is hiding something, held close to his body. This must be Agol. I allow him to get close. "What are you going to do with this?" he asks as he shoves a small container into me.

I take it from him. "Bring this farce to an end," I tell him. In two more swings, I've sent him out of the main area as well, with a blow that doesn't do much damage.

I already have my wind protecting me when the wind of the other man who can control it comes my way. He's sent more than paralyzing poison at me. I make it swirl away where it can't harm others. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one in that mixture that kills. I act like I'm frozen, but mostly because I'm gathering my strength. Because I need what I hold to reach all of the spectators and guards, I need to call on more power than what I normally do. My teeth elongate and my vision becomes sharp. That's enough power.

"Ha ha! I've done it!" the man exults. Some of his comrades fall to the ground, having gotten a little of his poison because they were too close to his wind and he wasn't careful with it. "Here! It's your turn to faint!"

I turn and look at him, letting him see my eyes. He freezes in shock. "I don't fall for the same trick twice," I tell him. I hear Barago and Agol fighting the guards that surround Duke Jeida and then the order for him and his men to protect their noses and mouths and to get down as low to the ground as possible, as I instructed.

I hold up the jar in my hand and my wind whips up strongly with me in the calm center. I smash the jar on the ground and the dust in it is picked up by my wind. I carry it to all the field. I need even the watching guards around the outer perimeter to sleep so we can escape without warning given. I try to keep it from reaching the Duke's hidden place. I'm sure Barago made sure the guards there were knocked out.

The spectators cry out in surprise at the sudden wind and Nada squeals like a small pig, then is falling as the poison paralyses his legs. When everyone is passed out, I calm the wind and go to where the Duke is. I check on him first. He was breathing into his sleeve and seems okay. I help him up as the others rise to their feet.

"The others are waiting for us to the north," I say. "We have a few things to collect before we leave, though. Can you and your men go to the stables and saddle horses for us? We'll need one extra one." I turn to Agol. "Do you know where they are? Can you take them there?" Agol nods and they hurry off after he's unlocked the chains on them using a key from one of the unconscious guards.

I head over to Nada and write "Idiot" on his face, because that's what he is. Then I go into the castle to retrieve my bag. Barago stops me. "I'm coming with you. Is there anything else you need?"

I pause, then ask, "Where's the treasury? Nada owes me twenty bags of gold."

Barago stares at me, then smiles, and then laughs a long hearty laugh that sounds like a dog barking. "I like you," he says. "He most definitely does, and one more besides. I'll witness to it, too." He claps me on the shoulder and leads me that way. We stop at the kitchens on the way to pick up food as well, then we're meeting the others at the stable and riding away hard. We need to escape now before people start waking up.

-o-o-o-

When we're finally to where the stadium is, we go around the town to the north side. The wind brings me the scent of Noriko, missing now for three days, and I lead everyone straight for where she is. When we're close enough, I jump off my horse.

Gaya is hurrying up to me, her arms outstretched. "There you are! I'm glad to see all of you safe!"

I hurry so she won't hug me. "Gaya, we've brought you a horse. You'll ride this one. Geena will ride with her father. Noriko will ride with -," I turn and Noriko is standing right in front of me and I freeze. The last time I saw her, things were cold and strained between us and she was different. I'd forgotten in my worry and relief to hear her.

She puts her hand lightly on the side of the bandana she made me. I'm suddenly glad I put it back on before leaving the castle. I don't want her angry with me. While she has a very odd expression on her face, she seems as cool as before, and her words are words of ownership and servitude at the same time, "You're still wearing it. Thank you, Izark. I'm glad to see you're safe."

Her other hand lands lightly on my chest, then she's suddenly the water fountain again and her arms are wrapped around me tightly. "That hurt so badly, Izark," she whispers. "Don't do that again. Please."

Now is not the time for this, for all I understand why she would cry. I move to push her back and she lets go on her own, but her hand reaches out and takes mine. I don't know what she's doing now and I'm sure I couldn't be redder for yet another public display of affection.

"Which horse?" she asks as if nothing happened. Or perhaps to get me unstuck and moving again, I'm not sure which. Her hug was very warm and pleasant, and I find myself missing her arms as soon as they're gone. I help her up into the extra horse's saddle and leap up behind her. Everyone else is ready to go. Gaya points the direction we need to go and we all take off at a gallop.

When we're far enough we feel we can let the horses rest and carry us slower, Noriko asks me quietly if I'll let us lag behind to talk privately. I apologize to the group and slow down our horse, saying it's tired extra fast carrying two of us, but we'll continue to follow them and catch up if things become difficult. I get a few eyes from people who believe I have other motives. Noriko either doesn't see them or doesn't care.

Her first words to me make me not care either. Their assumptions are just fine. I'm not pleased that the other young men in our group already look at her with eyes that see a potential mate. She's kind and just different enough to draw the eyes of men. I can't care if what I feel could be labeled jealousy. If we come out the other side of our destiny intact, she'll be mine. If we don't, we'll both be dead. There doesn't need to be anyone else stepping into places they don't belong.

It's interesting that she also feels the same and was like that on my arrival in order to set them back into place, to tell them that she wants to only be by my side. I'm relieved somewhat to know it was a play. I frown slightly. Was she doing that at Gaya's, too? Acting in such a way she could stand to see me go? Her request to never leave her again or cause her that pain seems to say so.

Noriko takes the rein out of my right hand with her left, and takes my right hand and places it over her heart. I can feel it beating a steady tempo. "I am Izark's. Only he can fill the hole in my heart that hurt for the last three days. Did you finally feel it this time?"

Many things flash through my mind all at once. Noriko is talking about something specific. She's referencing my very last thought, that she was a servant in action, but to cover a pain in order to be obedient to my request that she stay safely with Gaya. And, she's known for some time that there's a thing between us that she feels I don't recognize.

It's that specific thing she said on the hill before we reached the town. That there's a thread between us that can't be denied. She's not talking about our destiny. She didn't know it then and I don't think she knows it now. She's talking about something she's logically reasoned out for herself exists between the two of us.

I think back through the last three days to see what I might have felt differently. It's her words that she had a hole that can only be filled by my presence that my own soul resonates with. There was also an empty place inside me that could only be filled by her. Until I knew she was okay, I was empty there. It wasn't just my compassion for a fellow sojourner on this planet. "Yes. ...But I don't know why." _What has she learned?_

She actually says, "I have been learning it. May I tell you?"

I sit in shock briefly, then turn her around enough to look into her face. "You will ask if you can teach? Not just teach?"

She blushes and looks down. "Yes."

I grin at her a small grin, trying to not let it out too much. This is new, for the Teacher to meekly ask if I even want to hear. I feel like she's opened herself up to the tease and I couldn't let it be. "Okay. Teach." I really do want to know, but I enjoy her expression of self-scolding embarrassment for all the times she didn't ask. I take my hand and the rein back to listen.

She tells me of the time she left me in Calco to find the doctor. On the return, she couldn't remember which building was our inn. She desperately asked in her heart for which one I was in and was immediately answered there in her heart which one it was, and it was correct.

She tells me of when she fell asleep after I learned she'd done her dangerous experiment, that she knew where I was in the inn in Calco and when I'd lain down to sleep. Then in the morning she'd been cold because I wasn't near, and had felt it immediately upon rising, before even knowing I'd left. When I arrived again in the city, she felt me coming closer and knew before I rounded the corner I was come.

She speaks of how that changed slowly over time as we traveled together and because it was consistent, she began to experiment to see if I was also affected by it, or just her. When the horse bucked her off she wasn't worried. She knew where I was and how far away and followed me at the right distance to not get into trouble with the shadow insects.

"You always are looking for me anxiously at the same distance I am looking for you, also feeling anxious," she says. "Around the fire, as I would gather firewood, it didn't matter. I tested trying to go farther and you would panic and come find me, but it was my panic, too, even if I really wanted to go farther. It was very hard to do those tests. And if you got anxious because you could sense creatures coming, I would feel anxious and return more quickly."

Then she tells me of her last experiment, when we walked from that last house to the town. "I knew I had time to take off my shoes and carry the others for a while, but I knew when I sat to put the others on, you would stop and look for me, that it would take too long and you wouldn't be able to keep walking until I was done.

"It was flexible, how far you let me get behind you until then. After then, it was always ten feet. If I walked slow, or fast, you changed to be the same. It wasn't kind to play like that, although it was experimentation, so I stopped. I closed my eyes and didn't open them again until you pushed on that thread to tell me it was time to stop. I was at three feet from you and I already knew I would be standing there.

"It was the same as I knew that if I ran towards the town, you would let me go until you decided you were done with how thin the thread had stretched between us and would come to catch me. I have never doubted that this thread will bring you back to me, and me to you every time. That's why I said it, that you would come back."

I'm trying to see it. I've always used my wind to know where she is, and if she was safe. It's my natural habit. She can't manipulate the wind, and when I use it for that, it's very gentle - enough most people don't notice it. I wonder if she's learned to. But if she tried to go farther and found it so difficult and I responded anyway, that doesn't fit the model. I would have only made the wind stronger and should have been okay as long as there weren't monsters or dangerous creatures around.

And when she ran from me, I didn't use the wind. I used my energy to see if she would run from it or return to death. And at the end, I had the overwhelming feeling that she would not get away, would not leave me, and would be mine. So much so that later I wondered at it. It had overwhelmed all my other voices, even my fear. It may not be a safe thread, if it's tied to that feeling I had that day. That's a feeling I would ascribe to the Sky Demon.

She doesn't end there. "When you left Aunt Gaya's I was worried. I waited very still to see what would happen to that thread. I knew you wouldn't come back for a feeling. I was glad when she put her arm around me and turned me back into the store. I would have run out of the door and back to you without intending it. I don't know how far you were when it happened. The thread broke and I had only an empty, cold, dark hole in my heart. Every time I stopped thinking of things, I was thinking of you.

"After the fight and I was left alone in the house, I wanted to find you very badly. Aunt Gaya had told me I should, but where was I to look? I knew you weren't in the town, and the thread was broken." She turns to look at me over her shoulder. Her face is sober. "I kept waking up and being frightened. One time it was because cold water was running over my hand. I was holding a thermos and filling it. I looked into my bag and it was packed to travel. I'd done it without even being aware." I can see how that would be frightening.

"I became upset with whatever it was that was making me do that, so I asked into that space where the thread should have been where you were that it was going to drag me to through a dangerous city while sleeping with my eyes open so that I would die before walking twenty houses." I blink. She's even feisty against what I'm feisty against. "And it pointed the direction I should go."

My breath catches. Even I looked towards where she was without knowing it, had been on the roof without knowing how I'd gotten there, calculating how to get back to her before I'd decided I would go.

"That town is frustrating. I would follow the line but it was pointed straight for you. No street in that city walks that straight line. That's how I got lost, then cornered by a gang of bullies. I called for you in my heart and mind, wishing for you to free me and protect me from them, even though I knew it wasn't possible. More than once I called you as they would corner me again and again. I literally fell into Agol's lap as I leaped over the wall of the dead end. He saved me from the boys.

"I still wanted to get to you, and I was glad to find someone who might help me get to you and live doing it, but it was too late to try that day. We stayed that night at Aunt Gaya's shop. It had been looted and all there was was a little food to feed us.

"She came back early that next morning before dawn. We were eating an early breakfast together to talk about what we could do, since she'd seen you dropped off at the castle. She followed Duke Jeida and the soldiers there and was watching the gate. Agol said he would be willing to help, and then I heard your voice.

"When I answered you, then I saw you and you saw me and we talked. I was relieved to know you were okay. She said you'd been knocked out and were unconscious. When we were at the inn outside the stadium, Gaya asked me to try to talk to you again, so we could discuss the plans, but everything I tried didn't work.

"I finally asked Geena to teach me what the seers did to see. I tried that. I relaxed like I was on the raft on the river in the caves, then put my wish to talk to you into that place in my heart, and pulled on the thread to bring us closer together. Then I was able to reach you.

"It takes a lot of energy, just like for seers just beginning to learn to see. I couldn't hold it any longer than we talked." She pauses, then adds, "I think if you hadn't gone away, we wouldn't have learned to see or hear each other. The bond was strengthened for the breaking." That doesn't make me feel better. It's yet another sign I may have chosen wrongly to leave her when it was the only thing I could think of to prevent that very thing from happening.

"When I reached for you and we talked, I felt that hole begin to fill again and by the time we were done, I felt you all around me again, even more than before, and I tried to send the same back to you. Since then I can feel you all the time, like a warm comforter inside and around me."

I frown. I did feel her at that time, but there's been nothing else since then. She hasn't been with me for the wind to bring me knowledge of where she is or how she's doing. Not until we were close enough for the wind to bring it to me. "That hasn't happened to me."

"Then you need to try to talk to me. Pull on that hurt, that need to see me, and talk to me through it." I'm not sure I want to do that. I don't trust that link, that thread. She continues to teach, however, not understanding why I hesitate. "You'll need to try and try again until you understand. It took me all yesterday to learn it. It is tiring, so rest between." I still don't answer her. "Izark. It will make it stop hurting, and you'll know where I am again. Is that not enough to help you not be worried?"

I need more answers. "But why do we have this connection?" I ask.

She hesitates. Finally she answers, "Izark knows." That isn't an answer and is too evasive. Now I trust it even less, and my hands tighten on the reins. "Izark. You don't need to be afraid. I will protect you."

_Simple, weak Noriko, protect me?_ "How can you protect me? What do you know?" It comes out bitter. She's the Awakening who'll lead me to destruction. How can that be protection?

"I know, Izark," she says quietly. "I know the seers can't see you or me, not in the present, nor in the future. I know that means that we are protected, and that the future is not set. Not until the decision is made, and maybe even then it is not set."

I'm stunned. How can she know those things? Did she speak more with Geena, to ask about our future, or hers? Why does she believe that our destinies are still flexible? Her further words stun me even more.

"You are not evil, Izark. You have not chosen that. You do not have to choose it. The future is still flexible for you, and for me. Let me help you choose what you want to choose, not what those in the world want to choose for you."

It's what I've been hoping for my whole life. It's what I've never really believed, because no one does. She's come here without preconceived expectations, not even knowing what she is. She's seen it differently. I'm reminded of my whisper to myself. _Can I hope?_ It whispers to me again and in the face of the Teacher I can't move to say yes or no.

With a sigh, Noriko says, "Izark, you can't leave me in the world without your protection and expect me to not hear the words of those around me. Duke Jeida said it, Gaya defined it for me. You know my mind. It wasn't hard to understand it."

She knows. She knows it now. I want to move, but I sit still. I want to flee. Instead I think and even that's hard because turning around on ice hurts when there's pain and fear involved. Even knowing our destinies now, learning it that first night I was gone, she still called for me, ran towards me, hugged me today, is trying to encourage me to have hope, isn't running away, nor accusing me, nor even scolding me for not saying the words to her I couldn't say.

"If you really believe that to have me far from you helps you, then I will do it, but I don't think that is the right thing." Noriko lifts her head to the sky. Because she's sitting in front of me, she can't see my face. "I thought about it last night. You left me and everything that happened in my day, even if frightening, made it so that we had to meet again today.

"Not only that, but we also rescued a good man today, one who wants to do his best. I think Agol wants to do his best also. The other man who helped you, is he also like this? Gaya is as well. Something is helping us, Izark, protecting us and helping us to help other good people. I want to understand what that is. It is not darkness and it is not evil. You are already being used for good because you want to be. I will walk that path with you, if you will let me."

Her words are like a cooling rain after summer's heat. Hard to take into the baked soil, but so desperately needed, so desperately desired by my aching soul that I can only soak them up until they overflow and leak out of my eyes in silent tracks. If only that could be true.

I'm glad I've helped these good people, even if I've been through difficulties. I've always wanted to do good for others, and have done so to the best of my abilities. Is there really something helping us to walk that path, too? Is it even possible?

She turns to look at me and I look away, embarrassed she's seen my tears. Gently she wipes them away from my cheeks. "Izark is beautiful. In all his forms." And I know she's seen them, even though I thought perhaps she hadn't because she's never commented on them.

"You aren't afraid?" I ask gently, not able to believe that either, and testing her.

Noriko shakes her head. "No. I know Izark's heart. There's nothing to fear."

Because I'm grateful for her words I wrap my arm gently around her to hold her close to me. Because I disbelieve and need to test her to see how far that goes, I whisper in her ear, "Would you die for me?"

She freezes slightly, then answers, "If that's what you wanted or needed, but Izark has already ordered me to live for him, so that's what I'm doing." I can feel that she isn't answering me, the compassionate guardian, but the Sky Demon who distrusts and will kill if necessary. Even that's a sign she understands beyond what I thought she did. But it's the right answer.

"And if I were to kill you?" What would she do when the final end comes and that's the result?

Her heart beat increases, but she answers steadily, "I would prevent it because that would make you too sad." Inside I slump a little. She's again answered properly. She spoke to the Izark who's afraid, who she wants to comfort and protect.

It takes me a moment to recover myself from the Sky Demon, then I tell her what it was like for me. That I heard her when she called for me. That I'd been prevented by Nada's men and imprisoned because of the poison of the other wind user. That I'd been surprised to find the Duke and his men in that prison with me to answer to my worries.

I tell her how surprised I'd been that when I called her we were able to talk and see each other. That it had been interrupted by Nada coming to speak to me. That I'd tried to reach her as much as she'd tried to reach me.

Then I look at the hope she's been showing me since she came to the Sea of Trees, and say, "I'll work on learning it. I want to know where you are and that you're safe." It takes all of my courage to say it, but when I have, I feel relieved and anxious to begin learning right away.

Noriko puts her hand on my arm around her shoulders, to comfort me and calm me. "Just start with words. It's easier, and the knowing comes with it. Visions can come later when we're stronger. I think it happened because we both were missing each other too much, and I remember very much wishing I could see you."

I nod, my head still lightly touching hers, where I haven't been able to move from since I whispered in her ear. "Me, too. Wanting must be part of it."

"I think so," she agrees.

I'll learn with her, letting her teach me. If the Teacher can walk us on the path away from Destruction, then I'll walk that way. Even if I fear walking with the Awakening, I'll do it. I loathe the thought of becoming Destruction even more.


	18. Demon

The White Mist Forest used to be inhabited, with a village at the center of it where travelers between Zago and Guzena would rest at inns and taverns. That passage is the shortest distance between the two countries that are separated by a tall mountain range. An underground tunnel system allowed the travelers to pass safely through those mountains. The other way to get between the two countries is along roads that go around the mountains, now with checkpoints on them used to gain even more money for the corrupt governments.

The main reason that people no longer take the road through the White Mist Forest is because a demon took up residence there that killed the villagers and now kills any travelers who try to pass through. The main we reason we don't want to take the longer road is because we're fugitives on the run.

As soon as the government seers let those checkpoints know we're likely escaping the country, we'll be stopped, questioned, and likely put back into prison - all of us. And with so many of us now, particularly with so many good fighters, Duke Jeida will have our jail break and that arrest used as "proof" he's the head of the so-called rebellion.

We don't want to bring that upon him when what we want to do is protect him. With Geena seeing that is the path we should take, and with enough of us who are strong, and with Barago's warning that Kemil is already on his way to Nada's castle to pick up Duke Jeida, and is likely almost there, we decide we'll chance the White Mist Forest. I'm not concerned, other than the usual worries I have for Noriko when we're traveling, because I know what I am. There is no demon that can withstand me.

The Sky Demon is not just some monster of destruction. The Sky Demon is the _King_ of Demons. I may not want to become that, and I may be fighting my own body constantly, which might be making me weaker than I have the potential to be, but there is no demon on this planet that can withstand me. I'm not in a hurry to test it, by any means, but I'm not afraid. I'm afraid of me, not them, because that's what I am.

It's why I can talk to the creatures of the planet. It's why I know where they are, where the monsters are, and why I can sense them coming. It's why I can control fire and wind, and even nature itself if I cared to pull on even more power. Because I can control nature, I can destroy with it. It's the energy and power of nature itself that I manipulate. I choose to manipulate it gently, only when necessary to the minimum necessary level, and only to defend. The prophecy says that I will use it to bring darkness and destruction.

For Noriko to say that I can choose, that the prophecy may not be true and that destiny hasn't been determined yet sits with me all that day as we ride towards the White Mist Forest. I work with her to learn how to talk to her on that heart thread, as she calls it, like the seers see.

It is tiring, like working a new set of muscles. I rest when she rests, trusting her level of strength to moderate mine. As usual - my personal level of capacity is so much greater I need to have her outer limitation to have any sense that it might be time to rest. If I'm going to be facing a demon later today or tomorrow, I shouldn't work harder on this than reasonable.

Because Noriko's words are simmering inside doing the work of the Teacher, and because she is generally close again, I'm much more calm than I was. Other things that were born earlier in our travels are also being strengthened and trying to find life now that there is new and greater light in my own life. I'm trying to ignore those things for now. One thing at a time is enough and that was such a large lesson it will take me many days I think, to be able to really face it all properly.

We reach the forest proper and ride into trees. Many of our group are nervous, but we bravely commit to the path. I'm beginning to feel like I'm being poked by a stick held by a teasing boy when the horses start to snort and shy. As that feeling increases, the horses start to whinny and buck. My horse does as well, for all it's carrying two of us, and I try to calm it, but it can't focus well enough to hear what I say to it.

"I think we'd better let the horses go," I say. "If they bolt we may be separated and lost in the woods." It would be a reasonable tactic of a demon to be able to pick us off one by one.

The others agree because all of the horses have been acting this way. We divide up the bags between us and let the horses go. They head back out of the woods as fast as they can go. We walk for not really very far and are suddenly entering a clearing in the forest with old broken down houses and buildings in it.

"A long time ago, people used to live here. It was peaceful here in those days," Duke Jeida says. He sounds like he might have seen it when it was like that. Perhaps he came through when he was young.

Thudd! Clink, clink. Noriko grabs my arm tightly, surprised into fear by the sudden loud noise coming from one of the buildings. I'm already paying close attention. The wind hasn't brought anything to me that's here in the village. There is a monster headed this way, but it's stalking us and moving slowly, not sure it wants to attack so many people at once, so I'm not worried just yet.

"Ouch!" Barago comes out of the house rubbing his head. "Yuck. Disgusting. A shelf fell on me." Banadam mutters a curse at Barago and Koriki scolds him. Banadam turns in away in a huff.

I can still feel the prickling, but it feels a little different this time. I'm trying to decide what attack it's trying this time when Duke Jeida says, "This village is half-way through the forest. We should be at the border soon enough."

Noriko frowns and shakes her head slightly. "Ah...we haven't walked far enough." She blushes a little to suddenly be the center of attention of the group. "I still have soft feet, and they don't hurt enough to have walked that far yet."

Everyone is uncertain. "Maybe it's a different village?" Gaya offers. None of us know. It's our first time to enter. Even Duke Jeida isn't sure. We can still see the mountains, so we head that way out of the village and continue our journey.

There's a twist in my head and I shake it, trying to get it cleared. In four more steps we're seeing the village again and entering it from a slightly different location. The demon has the power to redirect our steps. I don't say anything. It will give away too much to everyone for me to do so. It isn't damaging, just annoying - at least so far.

We try again one more time and that third time is the final proof for me. The demon again has sent us back into the village. "We're trapped..." It's Banadam and he's sounding afraid. I wonder if the prickling is an attack against us directly, like against the horses.

Rontarna says, "Let's try one more time and be really careful. There might be a way -"

"It won't help! We'll walk in circles until we can't walk any more and then the monster will come. We can fight it, but not exhausted!" Banadam rants.

Barago asks me if I've seen anything like it. I haven't and say so. I also have to have the demon appear to be able to do anything about it.

Banadam turns to me and scolds harshly. "Even if you're as tough as a monster, you're totally useless when you're really needed, eh?"

I don't know if he saw my changes at the castle, but the things I did are usually enough - the strength to defeat seventeen men by myself is sign enough for most men. Being able to manipulate the wind is also. Even though I understand these things, I prickle to match the prickling attack I've been feeling, the word I hate being called having come from his lips.

While I fight that internal fight others scold Banadam for me. He continues to place blame on others for the fear he feels. Then Noriko's voice cuts through the prickling and emotions. "Banadam, please stop."

Banadam glowers at her. "You were the one who said it first, that it wasn't right. Did you do it?"

_Like a human girl could do something like this._ Noriko stays kind and calm, pleading with him to return to sane thinking. "Banadam, this isn't like you...but it is like the horses. Being made to be afraid. Please. Do not be afraid." She also doesn't like to see me afraid.

Banadam is already too affected and his hand raises to strike Noriko. His wrist is immediately in my hand. I take the time to calm down. As Noriko said, this isn't him doing this, not really. "If there was something here making the horses want to run off with us, then that thing is still here, trying to get us to fight amongst ourselves. Listen to Noriko."

Demons feast off of the negative emotions of humans. It would want us to become angry with each other and fight so that it could feast before it killed us. And if we killed each other that would be even better because we would take those angry feelings into death with us and feed it forever.

I had someone once, when I was very young, tell me that I couldn't be a demon because I don't eat negative emotions. That one hope has held me walking forward since then. It's still a known truth for other demons, though.

Noriko walks to Banadam and puts her hand on his arm to get his attention. "Banadam. You were nice to me at Gaya's. To be so angry as to want to hit me isn't like you. Please, don't be afraid.

"This is a [magic], a...demon-like power. I've heard of it in my land. If we can find the source and remove it, we'll be able to walk out again. We knew entering we would have to fight it. If we're in the circle center, it's close. Please don't be afraid. You are strong. Many are strong. We will win and leave."

I see Banadam's mind become his own again because of the power of the gentle Teacher to calm and lead others to proper reasoning. It's a small example of what she did for me earlier today. I'm adding her teaching to my list of what she knows from her home world. Again she has talked calmly about demons and their power and I decide that she also must have demons in her world, to already know so much and not be afraid.

A confused and embarrassed Banadam says, "Ah, what...? How awful..." Regret is in his voice and I let his hand go. He won't hurt Noriko now. She's protected both him and me to return his mind back to him. "I'm sorry," he says to Noriko.

There's a sudden downpouring of rain over us and the whole village. The prickling is gone, but there's a heavy weight over the village. This is another power of the demon. Noriko grabs hold of my sleeve and we all retreat to one of the houses that's mostly whole with few holes in the roof. Now that Noriko has pointed out that we knew already there would be a demon with powers, others say the rain must also be a power of the demon and I don't have to.

As we walk into the house together, Noriko says quietly to me, "Izark, it is [sentient] and heard me? To change from circles and making angry to bringing rain?"

I'm looking for the best defensible place in the room where I can swing my sword freely if I need to. "Likely, yes." Her hold on my sleeve tightens and I look at her, since that's often a sign of something concerning I need to pay attention to. Her face is frightened. "Why does that scare you? It's a monster."

She shakes her head. "No, monsters are the flower worms, and the shadow ants, and the other things you fought to keep me safe. They only attack. They don't think. This is different."

I take us to the far back of the house's main room and settle down, pulling her to sit next to me. She sits too close in her fear and I shift away. She notices and stays put, surprising me slightly. She's afraid and distracted, but now notices the world around her at the same time. That's an improvement. I won't have to worry she'll be dead before I can get to her any more. At least she doesn't freeze any more. Now she runs, very fast. That was a great improvement, when she learned that.

I try to address her concern. "No, you said it yourself. This is demon-like power. It's likely a demon."

She blinks at me, and looks at me with eyes glazed over, as if we've just jumped from the cliff again. She finally whispers, "Can you defeat one?"

My eyes widen. She knows what I am now, or so she claimed. Has her own brain been affected? Or...is it just her being Noriko? Given the expression on her face and how much it reminds me of the first day we were together, I can't help but feel it's another opportunity to tease.

I rest my elbow on my knee and my head on my hand, to let her look into my eyes fully. My lip curls up as she continues to not see it for herself. I get to do the tease. "Noriko. Have you already forgotten what I am?"

She blinks like a pond frog and sounds like one, too. "Yes?"

I laugh at her, silently, for a long time. It was a wonderful tease. When I recover, I pat her on the head. "Yes, Noriko. It's okay. They can be defeated."

She drinks in my reassurance until she can let go of my arm. "Okay." It's timid and quiet, but trusting. Is she really so afraid when she was so calm before? "They don't really exist in my...place. They're only in stories. We can't fight them, if they are real...at least I don't think we can."

I pin her with my eyes, surprised by her statement. She was so calm because they _weren't_ real? Then how does she know so much about them? ...Are they only in storybooks now? ...Have they hunted down all the demons that once existed so they're now only legend? I finally look away from her. It doesn't matter here, in this place. If she has knowledge that can help her or others when we need it, that's good enough.

She's still learning the differences between the two worlds and the largest differences can still make her freeze and have great fear. It's been this long to see all these reactions, but having seen them that first day, I'm glad that at least she isn't weeping on my chest. And the tease was well worth it, when she should have known better.

Later I wonder if she isn't afraid of me because to her I'm not really a demon, since in her world that's only a word, not a real thing, and she's only seen me as human other than the small changes. When the other changes come on me, then will she fear this deeply as well? That thought makes me sad, but I push it away, using her own words of hope to help me. If I can have my way, none of the other possible changes will ever come.

There's a rising anger and hatred coming our way. "The rain stopped," Gaya exclaims.

I'm up in a crouch, my hand on the hilt of my sword. Noriko immediately also goes up into a crouch watching me. "Something's coming!" I warn everyone.

In the next moment the front door is bursting open, black hair streaming through and into the room. It heads straight for Noriko. She rolls and I'm standing over her to protect her, my sword slicing at the hair. It's harder than the flower insects almost, and I have to use some power to cut through it.

Setting that as my level to work with, I damage it as much as I can while keeping Noriko protected. The hair continues to come in through the door and other windows, trying to catch Noriko, and sometimes catching me because it doesn't like being cut.

Agol draws a torch out of the fire and lights a portion of it on fire. It doesn't like that either, and turns a portion of it to attack him. Noriko pushes him out of the way but trips and is suddenly caught. The hair monster grabs me by both arms so I can't protect her this time and it's pulling her out the door. "Noriko!" I cry and the others rush out the door, those not trying to attack the hair monster in the room anyway.

Using an energy attack, I tear my way out of the hold it has on me and I'm through the door. The hair monster is very large, sitting on top of one of the other houses. It's pulling Noriko towards the main part of it. I call to her again and she answers.

Quickly I say to those standing outside looking up at her, "Catch her." Then I'm kicking off the ground and in the air. I slice at the piece of hair that has hold of her and go to jump off the main part to get to her to catch her when I'm caught and bound quickly around all of my limbs.

Inexorably I'm pulled into the center of the monster. I can see Noriko was caught by the others, however, so I'm not too worried. I can kill the monster properly from inside of it where the others won't see the full strength of what I'll need to do. "Everyone, protect Noriko!" I cry out, then am slurped up into the monster, the hairs pushing me closer and closer to its center.

I bide my time, waiting to become the worst meal it ever chose to try to eat, hidden behind my shield. "_Izark, please let me know if you start to lose, so I can panic at the right time._" I smile. Noriko is funny sometimes.

"_I'm okay for now._" I can feel her moving into action again, letting me do my job at the same time. I'm calling on my strength, building it up. There's a shiver within the monster and I worry for just a moment that it's discovered me.

"_Izark, it's tearing in half. Are you okay?_"

Ah...that isn't good. I didn't know it could do that. "_Don't let it get you._"

"_Okay._" I begin to feel her move, and her determination. I speed up my power increase, not wanting the second piece of the monster to get too far away, nor to damage Noriko.

She's suddenly moving very fast, and then she's very far away. Before I can do more, the monster I'm in attacks me, finally sensing my power. A keening rings in my head and I'm paralyzed and then it's as if my mind is not my own. I'm seeing the images of when I was a child, images to make my heart hurt in pain and sorrow. The memories of my mother attacking me, being injured, others rejecting me, are replayed in my mind without my wanting them to. I can't focus other than to be angry.

Then I hear a voice. "_Izark, I've been taken away from the village by [magic] power. Please hold on._"

"_Noriko?_" I grasp onto her words and our heart link, trying to escape the mind control that the demon has me in.

She immediately answers me. "_Izark. I am here. Can you hear me? Please don't let the hair monster eat you. Fight it._"

The demon gives me a memory of her. I take hold of that, too. Noriko has never rejected me. I choose to remember her, the times she's protected me, used her small strength in my behalf, the memories of when she's supported me with her Teaching.

That's enough to finally wrench myself free, as if coming up from a particularly difficult nightmare to leave. "_I am_," I answer back. With all the power that's built up, and then sucking in even more, in one sudden rush I explode the energy out from me, tearing the hair monster into pieces that shred the hair and make it float down to the ground in shaved lengths.

I land on the ground from my high place above the roof and look around. There's a fog so thick in the village I can't see any of the houses or even the people. "What's this? Is anyone still here?"

"Is that you, Izark?" a voice comes my way.

"Agol?" I ask to help him find his way to me. Suddenly my insides are seething with the pain of my affliction. I grab myself, trying to keep it contained. _Why is this happening now? So suddenly?_

"You're amazing. Did you kill the monster? A piece of it hit me!" Agol's torchlight comes into view but he isn't any less foggy as my legs collapse and I fall to hit the ground hard, my sword falling from my hand that can no longer hold on to it. I can only lie on the ground and try to keep breathing, try to keep my body from changing, try to not scream with the pain.

"Izark!" Agol cries out. He'll think I was damaged by the monster, and that's for the best. That assumes I can stay in control this time like the other times.

I used up too much energy to kill the monster, but I don't understand how it happened. I've used more energy before. Was it practicing with Noriko? Or was it because I also fought in the list and used up power to make the wind put everyone to sleep? Is it the accumulation of all of those things that made it too much here at this time? I wouldn't have thought so, but my body is throbbing, telling me regardless, it is so.

In a deep part of me, I determine that the next time Noriko and I can be alone, I'll ask her, ask the Teacher to learn it if she can. I hate this and want it to stop - this changing of form my body keeps wanting to do. I don't want to become a monster!

Gradually the pain lessens. This is one of the attacks that's a physical change, not one of weakness. I'll be able to go on, but I should be careful in how many more energy attacks I attempt from here on. My theory is that the more energy I channel through my body, the more it wants to change into the thing that will use it for evil purposes.

Sometimes I can go for months of using the energy and not have this happen. Rarely it will occur like this - suddenly and without warning. After I grew up a little and could control things better as an older child, it would only happen two to three times a year. The pattern lengthened, but still rare times like this would happen.

I hear voices and can breathe a little easier. I open my eyes to see that the fog has cleared a little. "Oh, he opened his eyes," Gaya likes to state the obvious so everyone can be on the same wagon.

I'm asked if I'm okay by several voices. "I'm fine. The pain is subsiding." I look around the faces I see standing over me. "Noriko?" I ask, not seeing her and then remember she said she'd been taken away from the village by the ability of the demon to twist our walking. I take a deep breath and sit up. Agol gives me an assist until I'm uprighted.

I automatically pick up my sword and then use it to keep myself upright. My body still needs more time to recover, but I'm worried. "_Noriko! Can you hear me? Please answer!_" I don't know if she was trapped in the mind trap, or if she was eaten, or if she's escaped. She's a long ways away from me.

"_Izark, I am here. Are you free of the monster?_"

"Yes. Are you okay?" I say it out loud this time so that our companions can know she's okay, too, because they're also very worried, and some of them already know we can do this.

"_I'm fine. Irktule, the spirit of the morning mist tree helped me escape. He has a barrier around his tree, so I'm safe for now. He wants me to return to the village, though, to plant a branch under the altar in the center of town so he can purify the village and get rid of the monster. The other piece of the monster is waiting for me outside this place. I had to run very hard to get away from it._" As usual she is wordy and tries to get it all said at once, and I have to go back and see the pieces.

"Ah. I'm so glad you're safe." The others around me exclaim or sigh in relief as well. I'm not sure what to say about a spirit talking to her and making requests, but I will need to do something about the other piece of the hair monster. It would be good if I can wait a little longer, though. It's nice to know it isn't going to attack us here immediately.

"_Izark, can you meet me? Irktule will lead me towards the village, but I don't know if I can outrun the monster again. Or do you still need to stay there to fight the other half?_"

I give a little laugh. She'll think of the rest of us before herself. "No, I destroyed it already. I'll meet you. I can feel where you are."

"_Okay. Don't let the piece waiting for me get you. Ah, sorry. You'll just kill it, too. Irktule says the monster and the demon are separate creatures. I don't understand it all. He says that the spirits of the villagers are still here, and the demon still controls them. Can he still use their negative emotions after this long?_"

I rise to my feet and decide I'll be okay for now as long as I'm not using energy attacks. "She says there's a place in the center of the village where there used to be an altar. We need to dig a hole in that place for the spirit of the morning mist tree to cleanse this village and forest of the evil. She's bringing something with her that will help it do that. I'll go get her so the other half of the hair monster doesn't. You dig the hole and protect that location." They nod and turn to hunt for the place. Koriki hands me his torch, so I can see the ground in front of me as I run, saying he'll get another.

I reach for Noriko using our heart connection instead of the wind. It won't matter how the demon turns her feet if I use that connection. And now I know how to prevent it from doing that to me. When it tries as I run forward, I punish it and it backs off, confused and still not really knowing what I am.

I still have a question to answer. "_I believe so. Spirits don't die and if their emotions stay negative, that will continue to give the demon power. Will you ask Irktule if I damaged the spirits by destroying the monster?_"

"_Izark, he says no, they just spilled out of the monster. The demon forces them to do things, but they can't be killed or harmed by what you do to the monster._"

"_That's good._" I'm relieved to hear I can't kill spirits, or harm them when I use energy attacks. I have as much to learn about myself still as I do about Noriko it seems sometimes.

I can feel us getting closer to each other. I can also feel the other half of the hair monster. I'm very relieved when I reach Noriko first. She's holding a branch in her arms that has white bark and purple leaves. She stopped running to catch her breath. She's still so willing to try hard, and she does her best, too.

I lift her in my arms to hold her close to me. The remaining vestiges of pain inside me melt away and I'm able to relax as her arm goes around my shoulders. I breathe in her scent for just a moment, letting the smell and wind comfort me, too. It's harder to trust the heart connection when I need my own patterns met. I pull back to look at her to make sure she really is okay.

Her face is red. "Izark..." It's then that I realize what I've done and I set her down, trying hard to not blush. Somehow I wasn't present again, and did something uncharacteristic. She's suddenly worried. "Ah, the monster is coming. Can you see Irktule?"

I look around but see only us here. I shake my head, "No."

She gives a nod of understanding. "Irktule will lead us back to the village. I'll tell you which way to go."

I put out the torch and turn around. "Get on my back. I'll carry you that way." I don't want to kill it yet if what Irktule can do will help, so I won't need my sword. This will be easier on her also. She isn't used to being carried this way and has to figure out how to balance. "Irktule, I want to go the shortest route possible. I'll outrun it." Noriko nods that I can do it.

She turns my head. "That way." I settle her a little better, then am running. She directs me to change direction a few times, and then I feel the monster just ahead of us, no longer trying to outrun us through twisting its own feet, but attacking directly. I add more speed and run past it, jumping over the strands that reach out for us.

We aren't too much farther when Noriko says, "Izark, the fog is thinning."

"I see it. It's getting ready for us in the village next." The air is getting heavy again. The rain begins again as we reach the edge of the village. I run straight up to the ring of torches we can see that the demon is trying to put out. We see why when we get there. The hair monster left us after I passed it and it came straight here to attack them so it could prevent us from planting the branch.

I stop just far enough from the monster and take back the torch. I light it again and collect the energy one more time, trying to stay relaxed as I do it, to keep my body calm. I throw the torch at the hair monster and make the fire explode a hole in the monster and keep burning it. "I'll hold it open, Noriko," I tell her.

She nods and runs courageously into the hole. The demon tries to make the flames burn her or the branch. I worry, but she doesn't care. "Over here, Noriko!" Gaya is pointing to the ground. I let the flames go out just a little, releasing the energy slow enough to keep the hair monster occupied, but not to waste my strength.

There's a sudden flash of light and the hair monster disintegrates. I release the rest of the energy and have to rest with my hands on my knees, breathing deeply. I'm relieved when the pain doesn't begin again. Instead, I feel a great burst of warm energy surge through and past me that feels like Noriko's just smiled a large smile and taken me in a hug.

I look up in surprise to see the spirit Irktule standing over the branch that was planted in the hole. He called on the energy of the forest and the earth to destroy the demon that afflicted this place. ...And I did not die. Nor was I even injured. Instead I was gifted strength. Not a lot, but enough I can stand and walk out of this place today with everyone else.

I stand in amazement until I'm collected up with the others to finish our walk to the mountains. As the spirit villagers of the forest guide us out through Geena, I wonder if there are two energies or...was it a proof that I am something different than only a demon of destruction?


	19. Revelation

I could feel the monster, but I couldn't feel the demon, at least not in a way I understood. This is really the first time I've confronted one. Demons are rare and hide as much as they can because they live forever, but they can die if attacked. They find one person they can work through, who affects others until it can feed off of many. This one tried to use us while staying hidden, and it commanded the spirits of the villagers.

I was reassured that the demon had been weakened significantly if not killed, and was no longer within the boundaries of the forest. I feel a vague sense of uneasiness. It might be my worries rolling around inside me, but it feels more similar to what I feel when monsters and creatures are near. I can't know which until something else presents itself, but if this travel today can help me learn more about myself and the world I live in, then I'll learn it.

I've been seeking that knowledge my whole life. That Noriko has taught some small part of it to me has encouraged me to keep seeking. I've learned many thing today already, including how to kill a demon. It's how I thought, but it was good to have an example of it from Irktule.

The uneasiness inside makes me want Noriko to be close by, and I worry about her feet. We're walking again and she still doesn't have properly toughened feet for it. She finally puts her hand on my arm. "I'm okay, Izark. If they start to hurt too much, I'll let you know. You've already run enough, carrying me. Please rest some."

I try to nod and let her be, but soon she's saying, "_I'm okay, Izark. Please don't worry. I ran. I'm sorry I let it catch me in the house. I didn't let it do that again. I'm sorry I didn't properly protect you from getting eaten by it._"

Her assumptions are confusing and surprising and I stare at her. _Protect me? Let it? How could she have affected either one?_

I finally can only shake my head at her. "_It was easier to kill from inside. Thank you for saving me from it._" She now looks at me in surprise. I explain, "_When you called to me, it was about to take over my mind, but it gave me a memory of you because of your call and that helped strengthen me. So did your words. Thank you._" Those were things she could do to help me. Maybe she can understand the difference and not expect so much from herself.

"_Ah..., [your welcome]... I was worried when it seemed like you were almost gone. I'm glad I was able to help you regain your strength. It tried to do that to me, too...but it couldn't access any of my memories. It could only use it's own. It wasn't hard to fight it because of that_."

I frown at her. I didn't want my memories at all. "_I wonder why it couldn't see your memories?_"

"_Maybe I'm just different enough...or too [freaking] logical._" She grins at me. I smile back. That is her best attack after all.

She turns away and blushes. My heart pauses and I realize I've learned something new. I now have a new attack against her, if I ever choose to use it some day, one just as good as the tease. It's another ten minutes later that I realize that we're holding hands and I've been holding on rather firmly.

I casually let her hand go and rub my neck as if working out a kink. Her shoulders relax. Did I do that again? Or was it her this time when she was trying to calm my uneasiness? What's happening that I'm not paying attention and doing odd things? Is it related to the change that tried to come on me? Or is it one of the little changes she's been making in me? Neither one was terrible. Just very uncharacteristic for me who hates touch.

Actually, it's rather disturbing how much I relaxed when she put her arm around me, and how the pain dissolved when I was holding her. I frown. Is there something about her that affects me? I would say it was helping me, actually, to make those things go away, but because I'm naturally suspicious of everything the Awakening could do to me I'm not quite sure I can believe that yet. But it also seems similar to what she did to Banadam, the change that let him release the fear and come to himself. Is it a new power she's gained?

When she begins to limp, I decide to experiment. "Noriko, come. I'll carry you so you can rest your feet." I crouch down so she can't argue, although she tries, then gives up. She did promise she would let me know when they hurt and they do now.

As she climbs on my back and we get settled, I can feel one of the rocks in my stomach melting. Her arms wrap gently around my shoulders and I almost cry at the gentle warmth. I walk with her silently, only feeling what she's doing to me. I'm sure she doesn't know. Her head starts to nod. I would say she was using too much energy to do what she's doing to me, but that isn't it.

I don't know how to take it, but just like I relaxed, when she was finally settled in my arms she also relaxed in the same way. How _my_ arms can make _her_ feel this soft peace I have no idea, but I'm grateful for this excuse today to feel it from her. I turn to say quietly in her ear, "Just sleep, Noriko. It's okay. I have you. You won't fall."

She shifts slightly so her head can more comfortably rest on my shoulder. Her warm breath on my neck makes me shiver once and then I'm breathing her breaths. "Thank you, Izark," she murmurs. The large feeling in my chest is one I don't know, but it's one that won't be denied any longer it's standing so firmly in my face. I can only gaze on it mutely.

-o-o-o-

The tunnel we pass through to get to the other side of the mountains has many holes to the surface, and is close to the surface itself for most of its length. It's an odd and beautiful thing to see. It would be good if this passage could be opened up for travels again, we all agree.

Noriko is playing with me, experimenting with the distance between us since she's on her own feet again. Now that she's admitted she does it and why, I'm paying attention. It won't be proper experimentation results this time and when she gives up with a sigh, confused, I smile to myself. It's a way to distract myself from the feeling of dis-ease that's come back, now that we're getting closer to the border.

I want to know that for real, not just as an experiment or a tease. Is this how I feel other demons? Is it because it has a killing intent against us? It's similar to that feeling. Like it's glaring at us from a distance, wanting to kill us for injuring it, biding it's time until it can strike.

Because I'm worried that it will attack us again, I'm experimenting with one other thing. Holding Noriko in my arms gave me a sense of peace and melted worries away, as if by her touch she could finally do what she's been trying to do this whole time - remove my fear from me. The energy that came from Irktule, which is energy like I control, added to my strength. Is there a way that I can do that for myself?

As we've walked through the woods to the border, I've been experimenting with pulling in energy, but not to use it against something else. Instead I'm seeing if I can store it within me, use it to rebuild my strength. It's difficult to learn it. Sometimes I think I've done it, and then it leaks away and the strength is gone again. It's like Noriko trying to learn to talk to me through the heart connection. Lots of trial and error. I wish I had someone to ask like she could ask Geena.

I also have to pause and rest between times of experimentation. Until I can actually get strength from it, most of the strength leaves and takes a little more with it. I wonder at that, too. I'll work tomorrow on learning if there's a reason more leaves me than what I've gathered.

Maybe that's why I have the times of exhaustion. If I'm giving up a part of _me_, not just using the energy, then that would happen, I think. That is, a part of my personal energy is given up each time to accumulate to a large loss that would then have to be recovered through sleeping for two to three days.

If I could learn to not do that, and learn the other, perhaps I wouldn't have any more episodes of my ailment. It's not like I ever had a teacher for these things from the beginning. It's always been experimentation and using what works best. But Noriko's been teaching me many things so now I can see things a little differently and try new things. I'm grateful for her today - even though I'm teasing her with her own experimentation.

We reach the end of the tunnel and there is a narrow land bridge that must be crossed for us to be in Guzena. The sense of dis-ease turns into a sense of foreboding and I'm looking all around, trying to see if I can tell where it's located. It seems to be coming from my left. Noriko is on my right.

She looks down to the canyon below us and I take her arm in my hand. "You'd better hang on to me, and not walk too close to the edge." I can only see us both falling yet again. Did a demon push her off then? I shiver and try to not think of it.

We're suddenly not where we were and I'm in the tight grip of something. I felt the wind move, but didn't see the rock bird until it was upon us. The demon that's controlling it made it wait until we were almost across the bridge, so it came from behind us. Noriko's cry of surprise came to my ears as I was grabbed so I know it has her, too, plus her presence is with me at the right distance away. "Noriko, wait for me," I ask, not needing her to do anything brash until I can also get free.

I didn't feel the presence of the rock bird, for all I felt the wind, so this demon must also be able to hide its presence while in another living creature, like I can. I wasn't able to feel it in the hair monster either. I wonder, if I can get it to come out of the rock bird, would I be able to tell of its existence? These thoughts are fleeting and distant as I struggle to get free of the firm grip the claws of the bird have around me.

Before I can get free, it has released us and we're flying towards a cliff face. I panic and struggle to catch hold of Noriko's hand before she can be smashed against the cliff, or broken below it. I manage somehow to catch hold of her hand and make an energy shield to protect us both from slamming into the cliff and we're falling.

I pull her into my arms to hold her closely, my hatred and anger at the demon rising for putting Noriko in such a dangerous situation. I have us righted sufficiently that I land on my feet, but I stagger and slump to my knees, then drop her, the strength gone from me again.

I gasp as my fingers turn into claws. I'm holding my arms around myself to stop this change, but it's already come on me. _Surely I can't have used so much as to go so fast to the highest level?_ It's like the episode before. Too sudden and unexpected.

I leave Noriko's side before she can see too much, headed for the bird. I want to know if the demon is still inside it, and if not if it's okay. Once I had Noriko safe, I also blasted it with just enough energy to see if the demon would leave it. I place my hand gently on it. It's knocked out, but will recover. I can't sense a demon at all but the killing intent is very high.

There are sounds behind me and I turn. Noriko's running for me as fast as she can, recovering from a stumble and behind her...the demon is in the face of the cliff and is breaking it off, as much or more as fell with Kiemos and me into the river outside Calco. But this is all rock and not dirt and earth, and it's headed for Noriko. I run as fast as I can past Noriko and catch the point of the cliff face where it sheared off, not holding back. It will take all I have ever had and more to prevent this from killing Noriko.

I pull the energy from all the earth and air around me and spiral it up around the cliff face, holding the demon tied to it. It will die with the rock for this. All of my anger, disbelief that it's tried this, hatred of its evil, rise up with it. I make the energy bind tighter and tighter to the demon and the rock until they are crumbling into gravel and dust together. I place a shield over Noriko and myself to keep the largest pieces from hitting us until they're all on the ground in front of me.

I can hear Noriko's feet running towards me. I'm confused. I'm not seeing differently and my claws are gone. I don't feel the same as when I'm normal, though. I feel...lighter, like I'm not really quite in my body. I'm not sure I'm breathing, but I can feel my heart beat through my whole body in a regular rhythm. Then suddenly the most pain I have ever felt slams into me as if the cliff face is hitting me after the fact. "Aaahhhgh!" My hands go to my head which is where the sharpest pain is coming from and I slump to my knees.

My eyes go wide as my fingers feel something move under them, then with a RI-IP the bandana Noriko made me is torn in half and a point of something grows out of my forehead to slip through my fingers. I'm powerless to prevent it. All of the times I've held this in, this next change, are now past. I'm not in control this time. I close my eyes and then cry out again as my whole body explodes into pain.

Something is ripping through my skin all over my body. My hands grasp the ground so I don't topple over completely, and they are claws again, sharp points digging into the ground. My toes are the same: claws that grip the ground as all of me cries out in pain and my heart cries out in fear. _I didn't want this. I never wanted this!_ My heart wants to cry but I can tell in this form I can't.

I feel like I'm encased in stiffness, yet I know that my speed and flexibility are increased in a way I don't want to experiment on. In this form, this level of power can catch a mountain and destroy it and not care. There would still be strength and energy left to continue to fight or destroy.

The pain finally subsides enough I can see and focus outside of myself. I slowly look up and Noriko is standing close to me, staring at me in shock. I shiver in fear.

She drops down to hold my wrist where I'm still holding on to the earth, pinning me in place so I can't flee, which I desperately wish to do. "_Izark. It's okay._" She sounds desperate. "_It looked very painful, but it's okay. I'm not afraid. Does it still hurt?_" She's worried for me. I don't want her this close - to see this - but she's telling me she knows I don't. I don't know how she can not be afraid, and my heart hurts.

She waits for me. When I'm able to finally take a breath and blink at her because I don't know what's next, she asks, "_Is this the first time?_" I nod. I also wonder why she's talking mind to mind when she's standing here. My tongue moves and I understand. She already understands I can't talk in this form.

I want to cry. How can she already know what I am, understand this, and not be what I don't want in my life? Will she accept this form when I hate it and abhor it from before it ever coming on me? Is she leading me to want to be like this so she can finally show her true self? I'm as afraid of her in this moment as I am afraid of me.

It doesn't help me that she begins to talk again, the Teacher who I want to run from in this moment of grief and pain for me. "_Your eyes are a beautiful blue, Izark. Like the color of the coat I'm making you, but brilliant, like gems. Your hair also is blue._" She reaches up to gently take a portion of my hair in her fingers and I flinch, not really wanting to see the light blue that rests on her hand, although it catches my eyes. It's such an odd, yet beautiful color for a monster to have.

"_It's similar to my coat but a little darker._" I'm trembling. How can she compare the colors she sees to the colors she chose before I ever had this form on me? How could she have known? She releases the hairs and I can look at her again. "_Izark...in my eyes, you are beautiful. I know this is scary, but you are still Izark._" I freeze, my breath stopping. "_I know your heart. What you look like is not as important as what is inside. This is [word]_."

Noriko lightly brushes her fingers over my shoulder and it feels odd, like pressure on one place, but her fingers are higher than actually on my shoulder. "_[Word] is protection, and in many cases it is also meant to scare the viewer so that battle can be avoided. This [word] is like that. I would think it would also cause damage if you needed to use it as a weapon as well._"

She pauses. I need a better definition for that word, and she caught me. I can only listen now and try to understand once she reaches her point at the end. Otherwise I will be lost without understanding. "_Izark...in my world there is a creature called a [porcupine]. It is a very gentle creature, not a predator at all. It has a thick coat of spines that lay back on it and look like hard fur._

"_When it is threatened, or angered, those spines, called [quills], stand upright so that it has an [word] that is around it, even on the tail. They are hard and the ends are barbed, and they come out of the hide of the porcupine very easily when they are standing on end. If you touch them, they stick in you and are very painful. Sometimes dogs will chase them and they will hit the dog on the nose with their tails, leaving many quills behind the owner has to carefully pull out._

"_You are like the porcupine, Izark. You are gentle inside, but sometimes you are threatened and your [word] comes as a response to protect you._" I think I finally understand that she might be saying "armor" or "shield". "_It can do damage and looks frightening, but it is not the actor. Your gentle heart is. You are protecting me, and your armor has come to help you do that. I am not afraid of it, because I am not threatening you._"

Well, she is, but not so that she understands it, and not in the way that perhaps this form would recognize. It's how my mind perceives it. At the same time, she's said a few things that I needed to hear. She still believes that she has nothing to fear because of the man I am inside. At the moment I still have my mind, so yes, I can choose to act the way I want to. I'm quite relieved I can in this new form. Every new form I worry it will be the one I'm lost to.

Noriko sits back and switches to speaking out loud. She has tired. "It's the first time, so I would think your body is trying to understand itself, trying to know how to be this way, but it will go away again, and only come when you call it, the same as the level of change before this one only comes when you call for it. Perhaps it will take practice, but you will be able to learn it. I know you will."

Inside I'm gaping at her. Why would I want to? I understand I need to control it so it doesn't happen in dangerous situations, but if I can prevent it from happening at all, I would much rather do that. I don't want her to be saying it because she not only expects it, but even wants it to happen again...not that she's ever asked me to change for her.

Sadly she adds, "I just wish it didn't come at such a high price as the pain you had to go through. That was hard to watch." She reaches up to gently touch my face and again the touch is odd, telling me my skin is rough, even though she's touched it lightly. "Is it okay? Are you still in pain?"

I shake my head and she slumps slightly. "That's good. ...If you're out of clothes, you can wear the coat I made you. The stitching isn't done yet, but it is wearable. Just remove the needle before you put it on or it will stick you." She smiles slightly. "I'm afraid I can't repair this outfit at all."

I look down. _Oh._ That's rather embarrassing, actually, and I'm not sure I wanted to see the armor she was talking about. My skin is black, all over. Coming out of the backs of my arms and legs, and so I must assume my shoulders as well, given how her touch felt, are large scales that look like if they relaxed they'd cover my legs, arms, and shoulders properly again.

That would be the tearing of the skin I felt, then, was those lifting. They also tore my clothing to shreds until I have only the equivalent of a loincloth on. My belt is the only article of clothing that's survived. Even my boots were destroyed by the claws that came from my toes and the one at the heels.

That reminds me of the first thing that went and my hand moves to my forehead slowly as it passes her. I stop before I touch, though, also being reminded of what happened very first. "It's okay," Noriko says. "It only ripped in the middle. I can fix that. We will have to find it, though."

There was something else that caught my eye as I watched my hand. I sit back to see better, although she still hasn't let go so I can't move far. Without thinking, because I'm immediately concerned, I reach for her forehead. Seeing my hand again makes me stop. I can't touch her with hands like this, but the blood seeping from the wound on her head is worrying me. Rocks were falling around her as she ran from the cliff. Some have hit her.

As if she doesn't know, doesn't feel the pain, she's thinking again of me. She holds out her free hand. "Izark. Please don't be afraid of yourself. Here. Learn how to grasp things. Even the claws of the bird didn't do us damage. Go slowly if you want."

She's right. Claws can hold other things rather gently, actually. It's a thing I wouldn't mind having one lesson on. But it's for an ulterior motive this time. She's given me an opening to block the Teacher. I slowly reach for her wrist trying to understand how this body works. I carefully wrap my hand around her wrist loosely until my claws click together from either side. I can feel the tremor of a shiver that goes through her.

"It's okay to touch me. I'll let you know when the pressure is right if you can't tell."

I swallow. I can trust her in that much, though, so I close my hand a little more until I just feel her skin. "That is a gentle hold. You could tighten it if you were afraid you were going to lose your grasp." I swallow. So far this body has responded to me properly. I hope it will continue to do so. I slowly close down farther until I think it should be about right for if I wanted to hold her hand, to know where she was.

She nods. "That's about right, for holding hands. If you wanted to be sure you could tighten a little more. It doesn't hurt." Very slowly, and watching her face this time to see if she shows pain, I tighten my grip more until she nods again. "Any more than that will probably hurt. That's about what it would be if you wanted to drag me after you to keep me safe, but on my own feet. Try going back and forth now, so you can get the range."

I pounce, as it were. That's what I was waiting for. I pull her forward until we're face to face, trapping her and leaving her no escape. Her hand releases my hand she's been holding and I flex the wrist and prepare to catch her. "_Noriko. Can you not tell?_"

"Tell what?" she's confused, and concerned about why I'm doing something unexpected, but she still isn't afraid.

"_You are sounding like you want me to be the Sky Demon._"

Noriko's face goes to utter surprise. She leans back as much as I'll let her so that she can more fully see my face. I don't think this one shows much emotion. "I-I'm sorry if it sounded like that, Izark." She's at a loss, then suddenly the strength of Noriko, the fire of anger is lit. That's what I wanted to see. I wait, not letting her say no answer.

"Izark," she says firmly, "you were like I have been the whole time I've been in this world. Lost, in pain, unable to understand. I've given you only what I've wished for every time I've been in that place: a thing to help you understand yourself and your world.

"You don't have to believe me. You don't have to ever want to be this again. But please, don't be afraid of yourself. Power feared will only overwhelm your mind until you _are_ doing things you don't want to do.

"I've always lived trying to understand my world and myself so that I don't have to fear, but can act rationally. I have only tried to give this to you. Isn't it what you've already done for yourself when you learned to control the powers you call on when your eyes and teeth change?

"From what little I know, you already _are_ the Sky Demon. If you want to control your power so you don't destroy the world, then don't let them overwhelm you. Learn this the same as you have the others. It's up to you." She turns her head sharply away. "What I want doesn't matter."

I know the water fountain is next. "_No. What Noriko wants does matter, because you are the Awakening. What is it you really want, Noriko?_" She will tell me today, or today I will kill her. She has seen this form and asked me to wear it without fear.

Her tears fall, but they aren't merely tears of grief, loneliness, or sorrow. Today they're tears of anger. "How can you believe me in that, if you won't believe me in the other, Izark?" She rises to her feet, wanting to flee. I don't let go. It's a grip she can't escape, nor can the Awakening escape the question.

"_Tell me._"

I see the wall break inside of her as her face crumples. Around her tears she finally tells me what she really wants. "I want Izark to always hold me in his warm arms. I want to see Izark smile at me. I want him to trust me. I want to live peaceably with Izark. I want to not have to see fear in your eyes any more." That last one is the real truth. The others were angry emotional words. But she isn't done.

"And some year, when you've decided what you will do and you have chosen light and good, I would like to not just be Izark's, but to also have Izark be mine. I am only ever afraid that you'll leave me. I can't bear that pain. But the pain of your distrust is nearly as unbearable. If you cannot trust me, then send me home!" She sways.

As I speak to her, to answer her, she sinks to her knees. "_Noriko, I'm sorry. I needed to know. To be sure_." Her answer is still as it always has been. The right one.

She's breathing deeply. "_I needed to be sure because, Noriko,_..." As my final words leave my lips, I realize that it's both because I've forced her to tell me her innermost secrets, and because she's been wounded more severely than I knew, and I barely pay attention to the words themselves as she collapses unconscious before me. "..._I have fallen in love with you._"


	20. Wounded

Once again I'm nursing Noriko, who's unconscious. When she fell before me, she exposed her back. I hadn't seen it until then. I'd seen her recover from a stumble as she ran to me. I hadn't seen what caused it. It was one of the first rocks I heard falling as the cliff face was separated from the cliff. It hit her back quite hard, actually. Enough to crack a few ribs and tear her flesh.

I was in shock for more than a few moments at how much blood she'd lost. Through all of the lecture she hadn't given any sign she was in pain. I felt much grief and remorse that she would ignore her own pains to help me calm and try to help me not fear.

At the same time, I couldn't regret it. Not only had I needed to hear some of her words, and likely will need the rest as I ponder them, it was essential that she tell me what I needed to hear to be able to trust her. However, to see I was already to lose her even as she became trustworthy was as if I'd killed her anyway regardless.

I could only look at her, and then my claws. I couldn't treat her wound, nor stem the bleeding. That was slowing anyway as most of her blood was already soaking her dress, down even to the hem, and into her leggings. I had to calm back down from the new panic all over again. I remembered watching Noriko as she cut away the cloth from around the clothing merchant's wounds.

I looked at my claws. They were sharp. If I was very careful... I was afraid to try, desperate to act quickly. She thought the changes would leave me eventually, but I didn't know how long and she couldn't wait. I took a few deep breaths, then carefully lifted the fabric of her dresses with one claw and with great concentration slit them all the way around the wound so that part was free of the rest of it.

Then it was the diseases by the stream all over again as I had to steel myself to slit the dress up and down from that wound so that I could peel it off of her. Actually...I was so desperate I shredded it (carefully) so I wouldn't have to pull it over her head or off her arms. That had been difficult when she'd wanted the dress off when she had the high fever.

By the time that was done, I'd been concentrating so hard I could feel that I would soon lose the form and was relieved. I fetched both of our bags, catching the straps carefully so I didn't cut those, and brought them over next to her prone form. I found the bandana, but only marked where it was. I would need to have proper hands to retrieve that. Then I called up the wind, seeking the closest source of clean water. It was farther down the canyon, but not too far.

The scales that were standing out from my body began to fold in and I held still and observed until they disappeared and my skin returned to it's natural color from the black. When the transformation was completed, I collected the bandana pieces and put them in her bag for her to repair later. Then I carefully picked her up, keeping her upside down, and juggled her and the bags carefully until we reached the small stream.

With a sigh, I finished undressing her after she was in the water with it washing through the wound to gently clean out the pieces of fabric and dirt. While the water did that, I washed the wound on her head. I washed me, too, once my skin wasn't so tender. I really hate the pain. To be both a human and a demon in the same body is quite irritating, really. Not that I want the later. I don't.

I didn't leave Noriko in the stream longer than the wound needed to be cleaned. With that much blood loss, her temperature was already low. The cold water was only lowering it more. I put her on top of a bed of moss that was near the stream to dress her wound, using my fire powers to warm the air around her hot enough to warm her properly. I was glad I had enough herbs to cover both the head wound and the large one on her back. I had just enough of the boneknit to add in, as well. I won't really know if any ribs are broken until she wakes up and tries to breathe deeper breaths.

I didn't have to wear the jacket she made me. This was the first outfit I'd ruined since leaving her with Gaya, and longer, actually, if the most dramatically shredded. I think I might only destroy clothing regularly when she's with me. That's an embarrassing thought, actually. The part of me that's still unhappy with this situation grumbles that it's also a sign that she brings trouble with her.

The new part of me glares back and has much more strength behind it. I say new, but it isn't new. It's the changed part of me. The child has become the adult male that loves the woman Noriko and will protect her from anything. I'm still trying to come to terms with that one. I've never been one to "fall" for a member of the opposite sex. Most of them that I've had any dealings with were troublesome. Even Noriko.

But I've been with her long enough, tested her enough, watched her enough to know that this is what this is. It's why I panic when she's in trouble. Why I'm so angry with anyone who wants to do her harm. I wouldn't do that for the Awakening, but the Teacher and Noriko, who together are the Awakening - I've learned to love them because they first loved me.

I'm not sure she would react to that very well. Particularly since she's been more servant than companion or friend, even on this part of the journey. I finally remembered what came out of my mouth as she collapsed and was surprised by what it had been. I hadn't known that was what that emotion was until I said it. And then I hoped she hadn't heard it, that she was unconscious before then. It doesn't matter to me yet if she returns it. She already loves me enough with her willing help, her happy smiles, and her attempts to help me not have fear and have hope instead.

I realized that it's why I'm jealous for her, though. Returning to the rest of our friends and companions was difficult. I know now why I suddenly want to push Banadam into the next county when he looks at her. Since she called him back from his fear and anger in the forest, his eyes see her even more now than they did after meeting her at Gaya's. I want to help him be blind, but I resist.

Gaya has been tending to Noriko properly now that we're together again. They came following after us, using Geena as a guide, and met me as I came with Noriko. We found a fairly sheltered place to camp on the Guzena side of the border. Barago and Banadam went to the closest village to purchase a wagon and horses, and to see about renting a place where Noriko could heal before we continue on.

The plan is that Gaya and the rest will stay with us until Noriko can at least rise from her bed by herself, then they will continue on to Selena, Guzena, to be with Gaya's sister. We'll join them after Noriko is healed enough to travel again.

It helps me to have Banadam not with us. I'm too worried still about Noriko and don't leave her side unless Gaya chases me off, making me take a break to rest from my worries. I still worry, but I know she cares and is concerned about me also. I don't need her to worry so much over two of us. That's too much worry. I already know.

I love the talks I have with Duke Jeida. His thoughtfulness often shows me insights I wouldn't have considered. He's also concerned - about his wife and daughter who he sent with the captain of the guard to safety when he and his sons left the capital of Zago. Also about his country itself and the chaos and darkness it's descending into. He often bemoans that he couldn't do more for the nation and it's people. His sons will then defend him strenuously and point out the good things he was able to do.

One of those things that Gaya will mention at those times is when he brokered an agreement between the Grey Bird tribe and the nations and peoples who were angry that the tribe of warriors had lost sight of their founding father's maxims. At the time of the negotiations, the tribe had become very strong and powerful. The nations were about to eradicate them completely in retaliation for their greed and ruthlessness.

Duke Jeida managed to get everyone to agree that they wouldn't eradicate everyone in the tribe if the tribe would disband and no longer be one unit. Some members of the tribe were still angry and haven't been living rightly, but many like Gaya were ashamed of the fact they'd lost sight of what had been important in the founding of their tribe, to cause it to fall.

Banadam is very loyal to Duke Jeida for this reason. He's also of the Grey Bird tribe. Sometimes I think they're still a tribe, there just isn't any central authority. They still remain loyal to their heritage regardless.

It's nearing midnight three nights after Noriko was injured. I take the first night watch since I don't sleep then anyway. Everyone else is sleeping in their places around the fire. I'm sitting next to Noriko in my usual place when she whimpers. She isn't awake, but she's distressed by something.

I lightly place my hand on her head to comfort her and check her temperature. She jerks back in surprise, surprising me. She must have some awareness. I'm concerned. Even in that brief moment of touch I could tell she is fevered.

"_Izark! Izark!_" It's weak and fearful.

I slip my hand into hers where it rests near her face. We have lain her on her belly so that the wound can properly heal. "I'm here, Noriko. I'm with you," I say quietly to not wake the others. She pulls my hand closer to herself, then gasps in pain. "Don't move. You're injured." I don't know how much she remembers in her current state.

"_Injured?_"

"Didn't you know?" I've been wanting to know.

"_No._" She trembles and gives a small sob.

"What is it, Noriko? Is it a nightmare...a bad dream?"

She nods slightly. "_I can't move, tied down, and an evil is coming and I can't feel you, or find you, or hear you. I'm lost, ...or you are gone. I'm so afraid._"

I can't speak for a moment, but I lightly rub the back of her hand with my thumb to hopefully give her some comfort. That is my own waking nightmare. That I will be lost and coming to find her, fully evil. I swallow around the lump in my throat. "Noriko, please...do not be afraid of me." Only her optimism keeps me walking forward. I don't want her to remember what she saw and fear that either, and if that's what she sees in her nightmare that would make me even more sad.

She pulls my hand to her lips and kisses the back of it, then holds it closely to her, as if to find her comfort, or to reassure me. "_No. It isn't you. It's something that wants to take me away from you. Something so evil..._" She whimpers again and I want to whimper with her. Now she's saying that my fear of that being that paid my parents to take care of me is going to come face me again. I don't know who that was, and still can't understand why they would want the great evil of the Sky Demon to fall upon this world. For that creature or person to take Noriko away from me...

Now that I understand I love her, there begins to open to me another possibility. If they took her and harmed her, or even worse killed her, I'm not sure I would be able to control the great anger I would have. They could potentially unleash the Sky Demon with just that action. I shiver, but Noriko is now rambling in her talking to me, and I can feel the heat coming from her now that my hand is held so closely to her.

I call to Gaya until she wakes up. "Oh. Is it Noriko?" she asks.

"Yes. She's fevered, and having a nightmare. If I leave her side she'll cry and maybe try to move and reopen her injury. Can you please get a cold cloth for her head? We should check her wounds and maybe repoultice them."

Gaya is rising to her feet, large enough that is a chore, but she willingly gets to work, bringing me a cloth wrung out from the bucket we keep here at the campsite and refill daily. I lay the cloth over Noriko's forehead and that helps to calm her some. I slowly slip my hand from her grasp but she's gone again enough she doesn't notice.

While I prepare the poultice, Gaya turns back Noriko's blanket and removes the bandaging. With another cloth, she dabs at the wound. "It is rather hot," she comments to me.

"Place the cold cloth on it until I have this done, but clean it very well first. It may be the herbs pulled out too much poison from the wound. If it's completely rinsed then the new poultice can heal instead of make the poison fester," I instruct.

Gaya tries to be gentle. Noriko doesn't change much in her mental rambling, other than to pause with a sigh of pleasure when the cool cloth is finally laid over her cleansed wound. I nod. That was likely it.

I bring the poultice to Gaya and replace the hot cloth on Noriko's head with another cool one, then check that wound as well. It seems to be fine but I clean it and change it properly as well. All of her is hot, even if not as hot as her first fever. I'm careful with her skin, even still. Even a more mild fever like this one can make already weakened skin be troublesome again.

When Gaya and I are finished, Noriko is already asleep again and her fever is beginning to decrease. "I'll take my turn now," Gaya says, giving me a firm scolding look.

"Yes, Gaya," I say meekly and lie down next to Noriko in my bed. I learned long ago it was better to agree with her sooner than later. There are plenty of us to take watches so it isn't like any of us are up long anyway. I'll still stay awake until my normal time to sleep, but being able to rest here by Noriko is enough to make me content. When Gaya moves away and her back is to us, I gently brush Noriko's hair and slip my hand back into hers.

With a sigh, I close my eyes. Even that much can bring me some small peace I didn't have before. I hope it will help Noriko sleep more peacefully as well. It was what helped her when she was so troubled in Calco the night after our fight with the thieves that she couldn't even cry more than a few silent tears.

-o-o-o-

I awaken the next morning and for a moment wonder why. Then I see a pained expression on Noriko's face. "Are you in pain?" I ask her quietly. She shakes her head but the expression doesn't go away. I reach out to touch her forehead and she stiffens, then tries to relax, but tears leak from her eyes. I'm sad she has to go through this pain, that I didn't know she was bleeding while standing in front of me.

I sit up and move the blanket away and check the poultice on her back. She relaxes to have it cooled again. It looks better this morning than it seemed to be during the night. She's also awake, and that's a sign of better healing. "It's looking better, on the outside," I tell her, knowing that she likely wants to know, even if only for information's sake.

"What happened?" she asks.

I pause, replacing the blanket over her. "You really don't know?

She shakes her head slightly. "No. I only know that I was hit a few times as I ran way. I do remember one that nearly knocked me over, but I recovered and kept running. And then the rain of small stones after you broke the big one, but those weren't bad. Just small bruises at the time. It was better than the death I would have had. Thank you."

I've walked over to the fire to get it going again so it can be ready for breakfast making. Rontarna waves a good morning at me and gives me a nod with a glance at Noriko. I nod back. It is good to have her awake again. When I'm near her again I sigh. "That one cut you, deeply, and cracked at least two ribs. You should have felt it. You fainted from losing too much blood. Because I was in front of you, I didn't notice it, I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. It's [adrenaline]." While I'm on the other side of her, I see her eye close as if she's going to sleep again, or perhaps just resting. I appreciate she's willing to forgive me, but what did she just blame it on? That was one of her words.

"What is [a-dre-naln]?" I try to say what I heard. It was a long word and I'm not sure I got it right.

Her eye flies open again, then she's trying to lift and turn her head to see me, as if she can't believe I just opened my mouth. She winces in pain so I move to sit on that side of her again. I can hear in my head my tease to her. "You will _ask_ to teach?" Without it being said, I hear her reply. "You will _ask_ for the teaching?" She kindly doesn't actually say it.

"It's a [chemical] in the body. Like what the herbs do to affect us, there are things like that already in our bodies. When we are afraid, or need extra strength to survive, the emotion makes our body release the adrenaline into the blood. When it gets to the organs, it increases their strength. The heart beats harder and faster to make it go into the muscles even faster to give them energy and strength. When it goes into the brain, it helps us to see and hear better and think more clearly, hiding the emotions so they don't make us make mistakes."

I'm feeling a bit like I did for the first lecture. I'm following along, but wondering how in the world the people of her world figured something like this out. We can see the effects of herbs on our wounds or in the other ways we use them. To know of effects similar within our bodies, when all we know is that whatever a body does is natural... how did they do that?

"When it happens often, we become [conditioned]...trained to react to the adrenaline. We call it the 'fight or flight' response. I've learned to quickly become prepared to run, and as soon as anything sounds or looks like it's going to attack, I move, very quickly. Like when the hair monster came into the room. I was already prepared because I was already afraid of the demon, and because you reacted.

"I watch you to know when it's time to be ready to act. Then when it happens, I can protect myself quickly." Noriko grins slightly. "I've taken to calling it my '[rabbit response]'. A rabbit is a prey of my land that is very cautious and is alert at the slightest hint of danger. At the first hint it is real, it moves and very quickly. That is what I have learned to do, but it's because of the adrenaline." I approve. Adrenaline is a good thing in her case, then.

"When we are in that state, we will often not feel pain, because to feel the pain is to potentially die. As long as the body still needs to protect itself, it won't relax and the adrenaline stays in the blood and the body. When the threat of death is gone, then the body relaxes and the adrenaline goes away. Then the body feels the pain, the fear, and worry. I am usually very tired also, because it makes the muscles so tense that it's like a long sword practice."

I tip my head, guessing quickly. "Is this why you cry after, then sleep?"

Noriko smiles and nods. "Yes. The adrenaline leaves and I am back to being a frightened, weak girl."

She looks at me soberly for a moment. "I wonder, Izark... _I wonder if it is adrenaline in your system that makes the changes in your body. When you need more strength to fight, when you are worried, the adrenaline would enter you also and prepare your muscles to fight. When you are able to relax, the adrenaline leaves and you return to normal also. If there were a chemical reaction in your cells to the adrenaline..._"

She likely doesn't have enough shared words to say more than that, but I think I understand where she's going with that. Every cell in my body hurts in sympathetic pain to the memory of what she's just described as my episodes that are so painful, and none more so than this most recent time, when I was shocked into a high level of fear, that was then made even greater when she was thrown at the cliff face. That had been a sudden enough fear reaction at a high enough level to perhaps be what pushed me too fast to control the change.

To make sure, I ask, "_If I weren't afraid, but were calm, then the physical changes might not happen?_"

"_Right. You could still draw on the strength. The chemical reaction wouldn't happen, if you could keep the adrenaline from going into your bloodstream._

"_Of course, you could also learn how to allow just enough so that you were in whatever form you needed to be in. That would also take practice, and fear is not always easy to combat, especially when one has already learned to react with or to fear. With enough practice and strengthening of your mind and will over your body's flight or fight response, you could probably completely control the entire amount of strength within you, without ever changing._"

How well I know how that works. Not only how difficult is to do, but how to do it. That's already how I control how much power I use. It took a long time when I was a boy to overcome the fear enough to have proper control. To be able to do it for all of my strength, though. That seems almost impossible. Still...I know that it's always little steps practiced constantly that bring those results I want to see.

I can only face her with amazement and be honest. "_Noriko. This is why I love you. You are always giving me hope. Telling me things that will help me be what I want to be, to not be afraid. You are always teaching me things that strengthen me._"

She looks at me kindly. "_I'm glad I'm able to strengthen you, Izark. If I can give you hope, to make your fear go away, then I am happy._" She's quiet while I think more about what she's taught me. Then she asks me a question. "Izark, what is the plan? What are we doing next?"

I lean back on my hands, looking her in the eye. "We are going to wait here for the outer wound to heal, then take you to a safe place for the bones to finish healing. Barago and Banadam have gone to the closest town to find a place and a wagon to transport you. We will decide more after that."

"Okay. But...," she lightly blushes, "right now, I really need to go to the [bathroom]...use the toilet."

I wake Gaya who was stirring anyway. We help Noriko rise to her feet, a difficult thing. Gaya supports her to the place we use while I brew up a cup of a tea that will help her body create more blood. By the time Noriko returns she can barely stand. I hold her propped up against me while helping her drink the tea, then we help her back to her bed, still keeping her on her stomach so her back heals properly.

She spends her time in between sips of the tea doing her favorite thing - teaching. We learn that the blood of animals will help create more blood for humans, although she says not drinking it. Just the blood in cooked meat, if left just pink enough, is sufficient, and is a healthier way for the body to change the blood into "building blocks". That part was hard to follow.

Only to me in our internal conversation, she says that on her world edible dark green leafed vegetables and herbs also are very good at helping build up the blood, but she doesn't know if that translates to this world. Given half of the herbs I just steeped for her are very dark green I think that must be similar in some small way.

Because of her exertion, she's asleep soon after, but it's a relaxed healing sleep. I can also relax, knowing she's going to mend just fine. I spend a few hours mediating in a meadow by myself, going without Gaya nagging me. I have many things to practice now.

-o-o-o-

The next time Noriko is awake we're all talking quietly around the fire. Duke Jeida is telling us what he's finally worked out while we've been here in the peace of this place. This time he isn't so sad, which is heartening. He's been depressed about what's happened to him.

He's been thinking about how everyone works to do something that supports the others around them in the world. Even the small part he can play helps in some way. He doesn't have to do it all himself. He can rely on others and let others rely on what he can do to help them. This has helped him to find peace and the strength to move forward, doing each day what he can in the circumstance he's found himself in.

That's already what I do. I think that Noriko also does this very well, and is a very good example of that. It makes me think of a question for Noriko that I can ask here. "Noriko, you know much about the body and medicine. In your previous place, were you thinking of becoming a doctor?"

She takes a moment to think about that. "I wasn't going to. I was going to study math and [engineering], the understanding of and application of physical laws to things that make daily life better for others. But...you're right. I do know a lot about the body as well.

"...I think if I stay here in this place, that might be what I would do. The things I still needed to learn to do the other are beyond me, and I would need a teacher. But to be a doctor, I already know enough. With a year or two of study under an experienced doctor, I would likely be able to do it on my own."

"I think, too," she adds slowly, "that if I could teach what I know to as many as want to learn it, at a place of learning, that would be of benefit to this place, although I have much to learn also. Is there such a place?" I'm not surprised to hear of this desire.

It's Duke Jeida that answers her. "There are two, one on this continent and one across the sea on the eastern continent, that draw many _researchers_, people who study and try to learn new things. But there are also other places of learning. If peace could be brought back to the world, it would be nice to have them operating again."

She seems content enough with that. "That's good, that there are some here. Otherwise I would have suggested I could start one, a school for higher learning."

I'm very proud of her for being able to look forward without fear of her future in a strange world she can't leave. At the same time I'm remembering that I've already scolded her for teaching things of her world to this one. That would get around the problem of being thought she was from another world, but really, to go so far as to create one herself if there weren't any here to begin with. We aren't _that_ uncultured or unlearned. I need to take her into a few more capital cities as soon as we can travel without so much fear.

She blushes and looks away, but I suppose it's my own fault for keeping her hidden away from any sort of culture until now.


	21. Healing

The house Barago found for us to rent is out in the countryside. It's small, but the place is perfect for staying hidden in a quiet place. We've given Noriko the bedroom and the bed so she can be comfortable since she has to stay in it most of the time, particularly early in her healing.

When she learned it was the only real bed in the house, she insisted that Gaya stay in the bed with her at night, and Geena has been enjoying staying with them in the "girl's room". Even when injured Noriko is kind and cheerful.

Sometimes we men will hear them talking with her late enough in the night I go in and scold her. She laughs at me. Gaya squirms as if she's the little girl getting the scolding and then I wonder if it's Gaya that loves having another girl around to talk to. That makes me smile, but they still need to let Noriko have her proper rest.

We men are crammed in around every edge and I've taken to wandering outside at night during my awake times and sleeping in the barn. The straw is softer than the floor. So is the dirt sometimes. Straight hard boards covered only with the travel bed night after night make me sometimes wish for that.

The others will leave soon, though. Noriko's healing well and Gaya's been teaching Geena how to do what she can, and there's me for the rest. Agol and Barago will stay with us here. I can't shake off Barago who's decided to become my bodyguard, or something, and Agol acts like Noriko's.

Sometimes I complain at them they make me feel like Noriko and I are the lord and lady of the manor home. Agol just smiles and Barago teases me that of course we are, then barks his laugh at me when I can only be embarrassed. He loves to tease me. I sometimes catch Noriko giving him glares for it, but I think she doesn't know how to get him to stop any more than I do.

Nights are also the time I'm practicing so the others don't see. I've finally learned how to tease apart the different energies. They have different flavors is the best way to put it. Earth energy is heavy, not unexpectedly. Earthy. I think that's why I don't use it well. I think I may have exacerbated my problems the time I went through the most recent change by drawing on it. I don't usually but I was so angry.

I am the _Sky_ Demon after all. Sky is light, like the air, and like fire. Fire dances with air and is tangy. It's almost as rich as earth, though. I think that's why blacksmithing works so well - fire and earth move together well in the furnaces. Air is spicy. It's odd to think so, but one of the early days I was wandering and caught a scent on the wind I hadn't smelled in a very long time.

I came over a knoll and stared in amazement. It was a field of mixed flowers and herbs that spread for a long ways, even over the next knoll. The mixed smells there were so strong that I had to make the wind dance so I could breathe.

The numbers of butterflies and other little birds that love to sip at nectar that arrived within only a short time to settle on the field made it look like a flower field from the sky came down to kiss the flower field of the earth. That showed me very well just why air is spicy. It carries all of the scents of the earth upon it so that the creatures know where the best food is.

I wish I could show that meeting of sky and flower to Noriko, but I may have to settle for just bringing her to the field itself. It's beautiful enough. ...I'm thinking she's not likely to want to come alone with me.

That's been a little difficult, because it makes Barago's teasing all the more embarrassing. Noriko is still maintaining her distance and hasn't told me if she heard me confess I love her. (I know she did the later time I tested it but that didn't get much reaction out of the ordinary.) Her eyes follow me, though, so I think she did. It hurts just a little that her eyes go sad when she looks away.

Sometimes I wonder if she's worried she'll be sent home randomly, she was so randomly brought here. I'm trying to not think of that. It won't happen until after we figure out what the prophecy really means, and that holds enough unknowns for me at the moment.

I'm sorry if I've put her into a position of feeling uncomfortable if she isn't sure how to respond. What we have is enough, really...except I do miss having the little opportunities to touch since she's not afraid here. I'm relieved she can have the opportunity to relax. Even I breathe a little easier here.

Finding the field was an excellent excuse to be close to Noriko for at least a part of the days I'm missing her too much and need her peace. Because she told us she might become a doctor, I can have the excuse of teaching her about the herbs of this world and how we use them. She's a very industrious student and enjoys practicing using the herbs.

She found an odd delight in learning how to use the mortar and pestle. I asked Agol to pick one up on one of his trips into the city to shop for things we needed. I'll carry those in my bag. They're quite heavy, even the small medicinal ones he purchased. (I got to touch her for that lesson and enjoy more than one tease that day. Barago laughed and Agol smiled, enjoying the teasing with me. She finally scolded us all for it, but I could only smile.)

Agol's a reasonable cook, having had to learn after his wife died. He's been helping me keep the mind and hands of the Teacher busy by teaching Noriko to cook. She admitted she'd only had the very basic lessons on her world, but she's worked hard on learning what he can teach her. Those lessons frustrate her a little more since we have to eat the failures, too. She finds that both embarrassing and stressful.

Still, it makes her work harder the next time. I'm not sure she'll do much baking ever after this place, but it's a good start to cooking over a fire. Those lessons can come later when we're on the road again. There are times I wish to be on the road alone with her again, but it's a hard life to live, and for us it would mean we were on the run in hiding again.

-o-o-o-

Noriko's strong enough to be up most of the day now and a change of view would be good for her. I hitch the horse up. It's also getting flabby and lazy not being properly worked. I may have to run with it to get it back into shape. When the horse and wagon are ready, I collect Noriko. Barago invites everyone along and Noriko asks me very politely if they can come. Since I expected her to, I tell her it's fine. I'd rather she was comfortable enough to enjoy herself.

The trip to the field of flowers is faster by wagon than me walking to it, of course. This time Noriko is sitting next to me on the seat of the wagon and I look to see her expression as we come over the fist knoll. Her eyes go very wide and the delight on her face fills me.

"Oh, Izark!" she breathes, her hands coming up to clasp together in front of her chest. "It's _beautiful_! We don't have these colors, most of them. And _translucent_ flowers, almost like colored glass instead of petals! It's amazing." I am satisfied.

Her eyes continue to scan the field as I stop the wagon under one of the trees that are scattered about the area and help her out. I support her to walk her into the field where she can be surrounded, a rare flower among flowers. She touches them and names the ones I've already brought to teach her.

"Even I can see all the pretty colors, Papa!" Geena says, her head turning to look, a smile on her face as well. She skips off to begin feeling each flower and petal, her father walking behind her slowly with a smile on his face.

"Be careful, Geena," I warn gently. "Some of them are prickly. They won't hurt much if you're gentle with them, so you can feel them all, if you want. Some are very short, too, but smell very nice."

I'm remembering a singular day in my past, only a few hours, and having Noriko in the field turns my feet as well. "I'll be nearby," I say to Noriko. She gives me a nod, too delighted to worry. Barago also wanders off into the field to enjoy the rare view.

There was a flower field similar to this near my childhood home. I would run to that quiet beautiful place when my life became too dark to stay in any longer. It was a place I could breathe and rest. One of the days I went there, thinking I was alone, when the wind brought me the scent of another person I didn't recognize. I was frightened of her at first, but she only sat in the grass and talked with me gently. Her hair was long and black like mine is now and she called herself a 'fallen star'.

As I remember that day, feeling Noriko sitting in this flower field like I felt Miss Lettie then, I pick the same sort of bouquet Miss Lettie had requested of me - one of every flower in the field. I also remember fondly each one and what they're used for. I'll use this bouquet to teach everything to Noriko that Miss Lettie taught me that day once I'd returned to her. She was so patient and kind to me that day.

As I return over the second knoll to Noriko who's seated still in the flowers, surrounded loosely by the other three from our group, it's hard to not remember the ending of that visit. I'd asked if I might see Miss Lettie again. She only promised she would continue to watch over me in the field as a star if she couldn't.

I'd demanded she let me know her name, and she hadn't wanted to give it to me. When she did, I understood why. She knew I'd be sad. Even I'd heard the story that she was a "demon" and had been sentenced to death for the murders of multiple people.

I couldn't believe it of her, not after her kindness to me. I'd run after her and held her, as if my small arms could hold her there, prevent her death. She'd turned to me, still so kind, and told me that neither she nor I were demons. Demons were creatures who fed on emotions. We were humans who were special. She's the one who encouraged me to learn to properly use my air and fire skills, so that I wouldn't harm with them accidentally.

I missed her terribly even after the singular visit. I went back regularly to practice in the field where there had been a day of peace and comradeship for both of us. I would look up at the sky and wonder if she did watch down on me kindly. Sometimes I believed she did.

As I walk towards Noriko, I think, _Miss Nettie, if you're still watching down on me, particularly in a field of flowers like this, do you see her? The one who you told me would come into my life one day? I've protected my heart and she is opening it. I hope she'll continue to be worthy of it, but I believe she is. It's terribly ironic that she's also the Awakening, a creature this world also doesn't understand save through what little lore exists._ As I set the bouquet in Noriko's lap I silently add, _Please, continue to smile and watch over us. I hope you're still happy where you are now._

"Here are more herbs we can dry and use later," I say out loud, knowing that Noriko doesn't want to have my feelings pressed on her, and that excuse is sufficient because I know she'll enjoy learning about them.

Noriko picks up the bouquet in both arms and smells the flowers appreciatively. "Thank you, Izark. They're beautiful."

"Izark, it's called a _bouquet_, not a 'bunch of herbs'," Barago says, letting his presence be known. Noriko's look should have warned him, but he continues, trying to get my attention, which hadn't really been on anyone else in the area, since I'd been thinking about my past. "But then, you seem to be off today, anyway. You've missed my beauty." He strikes a pose, and I look at him confused until Barago points to the flower crown on his head. "Doesn't it make me more beautiful?"

I'm stunned rather speechless. The rugged Barago knows how to weave flower crowns? Or did Geena do it? "No...?"

Barago pulls it off his head. "Then I won't wear it. Izark is the one I have chosen to follow - especially since he's the one who made it so I don't have anywhere else to go."

I'm a bit stricken. I hadn't realized he felt that way about being used to help us get out of Nada's castle. "Ah, I really am sorry, Barago."

Barago stands there solemnly for a bit then chuckles. "Don't let it bother you, Izark. I'll stick around for a bit because I think it would help. You don't need to be stressed out about it." I glare at him a bit. He's teased me again, and again I fell for it.

He drops the flower crown on top of Geena's head and it slowly slips down to be a necklace. "Here, these are meant to make girls prettier, so you can have them. Izark's already given flowers to Noriko, like he should."

My hackles raise a little. I know most everyone in our group understands that Noriko and I have a unique relationship, but why Barago has to keep assuming it's a romantic one annoys me. I turn to Noriko so I can hold my tongue. "It's time to get you back to rest." I need Noriko a little closer after having thought of my past, so I choose to pick her up and carry her.

She hold the flowers and looks back at the field one last time. "Thank you again, Izark. It's a very beautiful place." I blush a little, but I'm pleased she enjoyed it as much as I do.

As I set Noriko on the wagon, Barago comments, "Did you want to -"

"Barago," Noriko interrupts firmly. "Shut up." She doesn't even look at him as she settles in the wagon.

There is shocked silence, then Barago quietly asks me as I pass him, "Have you ever heard her do that before?"

I climb into the driver's seat of the wagon, letting Barago stew a bit, then look at him, keeping completely neutral since he's brought it on himself not paying proper attention. "Yes. Once." She was angry then, too.

-o-o-o-

Noriko is ready for travel and I keep feeling like we've been in one place too long already. The longer she and I stay in any one place the longer the news has to reach ears we don't want to have pointed our way. Honestly, as I was meditating a couple of nights ago, it occurred to me that this feeling is almost like the same sort of feeling I had when the demon of the White Mist Forest was watching us and waiting to strike. I can't tell what the source of the feeling is, really, so I'm not sure. Either way, it's time to move on.

I take Barago with me to check on the wagon. It will need to be able to make the long trek and the wagon wheel we found that led us to the clothing merchant is before my eyes since the feeling came on. I don't want to have Noriko be the one taking the role of the merchant should we loose a wheel, not when she's finally recovered this much.

Agol has taken Geena into town so he can show her around it before we leave. He's also picking up the final supplies we'll need and letting the landlady know we're leaving so she can rent the house to someone else.

Noriko comes out of the front door and comes out far enough to say, "Izark, dinner's in. I'm going to go for a walk. I'll be back soon."

I look up from the wagon wheel I'm inspecting. "Okay. Let me know if you need me."

She looks at me for a moment, then as she turns away, she says, "Always."

I'm stunned by the one word and the way her body moved as she said it. I've never had her flirt with me and it did something to my body I didn't expect. I want to see more of it, suddenly.

Barago 'kindly' brings me back to my senses by laughing at me. I turn and rise to grab his shirt in my hand and pull him up close to me. "Barago! Just stop!"

He's pulled to his knees because his size is irrelevant to my strength. His surprise at being reminded of it is quickly erased, though. He knows me too well now. He grins at me. "What's up with you? You're her big protector, right? Isn't she _supposed_ to call on you whenever she needs you?"

Well, he has a point. I slump. "Please. Just stop." It nearly comes out as a whine.

He barks his laugh at me. "You're not supposed to threaten someone when you're trying to win their favor, you know."

I let him loose. I wish I had a way to explain it so he would let up on the teasing. Neither of us like it. "She's still trying to understand the place she's gotten into. It's not so easy -"

I break off. Something isn't right. "Noriko!" I turn the direction she's in, and then I'm running.

"_Izark! Help. Strangers who know my name!_" I put on a burst of speed. The wind tells me that there are at least five other people with Noriko. That's not good at all.

I round the corner of a stand of trees and reach down to the ground to pick up dirt in my hand. My fingers and fire form the dirt into three different fired stones. As I prepare to throw the first one, Noriko dives forward and somersaults in sync with my throw so that she's out of the way of the man behind her.

The stone hits the man who was far too close to her for my heart in the leg and he's on the ground, holding the leg and screaming in pain. Noriko's already back up on her feet and running towards me again.

I grab Noriko in my arms, both of us still running, and pull her around to be behind me, so I can protect her. She grabs on to the back of my jacket so I know where she is, but I can have my hands free. This was part of our practice with the knife training.

I throw another stone at the next man coming for Noriko and he's down, holding his leg and writhing in pain. I don't have to have my sword to defend her, but in that moment I swear to never be without my blade ever again, even in peaceful areas. I've become too complacent here.

"Ho, a knight in shining armor, eh?" It's an alto female voice, and it's neither pretty, nor nice. "I think the rest of you had better let me handle this one. He's not something the rest of you can handle. You get the girl while I take care of him."

She's wearing a robe with loose sleeves and a large medallion rests on her chest. There are still four other men with her. I'll assume she has special powers. That makes me even more unhappy I'm without my sword.

"Izark!" It's Barago. "I've brought your sword. I'll protect Noriko while you take care of that one." Barago hands me my sword.

Noriko lets go of me and stands behind Barago instead. As she starts instructing him in how to fight in the way we practiced, I move against the woman who challenged me. I want these people gone and out of here as fast as possible. I try to stay wary, though. Until I know what she can do, I shouldn't rush into the fight. "Why do you want Noriko?!"

"Because Lord Silent Mask wants her. I'll tell you more if you can defeat me." She raises her elbows in a funny way, then snaps her arms out and long lengths of cloth come out from inside both sleeves.

They come at me quickly, spiraling. I watch them closely and notice the tips of them stiffen. I might be bound by the flexible parts, but I don't want those tips striking me. I dodge and use the energy of wind only to slice into the hardened tips, slicing them off the rest of the length of the fabric.

My eyes are on the rest of that, wanting to know if they'll bind me. I dodge out of the way, and they follow me as if alive. I swing at the two lengths of fabric and they curl away from the swing. This is going to be a very strange fight. Swirling her arms, the woman I'm facing gloats. "I can control this cloth as if it were my body. I can make it do whatever I want."

I head for her. I can dodge the cloth well enough and she has no defenses other than that. She disagrees, apparently. "Ha ha ha! You can't defeat me! You can't even get close to me."

The cloths swirls around me to make an enclosure. I leap out of the trap, headed for the woman. My jumps can take me far higher than any normal man, and she's only seeing a wandering warrior, not expecting an opponent who also has special skills. When I'm not trapped, she looks around in surprise, and barely jumps backwards in time to escape my attack.

Before she lands she's already controlling her fabric to come at me again. The fabric wraps quickly around my sword arm, and binds my arms together. I'm surprised when it continues to bind around my whole body. It not only starts to squeeze me tightly, but it's sticky somehow, sticking to my clothing and making the binding even worse, not to mention generally gross.

The cloth has me bound so I can't free my hands easily and the tip of my sword is controlled by her end of one of the cloths. As I pull back on my sword anyway to see if I can get the blade to cut the fabric that binds it, she exults, "It's impossible to cut this cloth. I can change the material any way I wish. I can make it hard or sticky. This is the power Lord Silent Mask gave me!"

It isn't impossible to cut, I already proved that. Obviously it's sticky. I wish it wasn't. It's making my skin crawl it's so creepy. That last thing makes my worry peak. I try to practice not letting the adrenaline win. That's going to take a lot of practice, but I try anyway since I have the opportunity to. Men with special powers can't give them to other people. That is a rumored skill of evil men with spirits who work for them, or of demons.

Is it possible that the sense I've been having _is_ from another demon that's close by? Might it have somehow recognized my presence? Not likely, as even the first demon didn't know I was anything other than a man until I let it out.

These people wanted Noriko specifically. Has she increased in strength enough they can sense her? I'll have to see if I can sense her in that way, but another time. The final boast of my death has been given and a hardened tip is headed my way again, and I look defenseless.

I call upon the first change's level of strength and just enough fire energy to flash-bake the fabric and burst out of the bindings around me. My sword slices through the hardened fabric with air energy again and I'm after the woman. "You said you'd answer my question if I defeated you, right?" She can't believe I escaped and is standing frozen. "I want those answers now."

I prepare an energy blow and send it after her with a swing of my sword. It cuts the fabric just before the cuffs of her sleeves and sends her flying back. I'll be able to reach her now, I hope. Surely it can't be infinitely long cloth. Her face full of fear, she turns to run.

"What do you want with Noriko!? Who is Lord Silent Mask?" I demand of her as I chase her. I prepare another energy attack.

She reaches to her chest and grabs the medallion she wears. "Lord Silent Mask, help me!" She blinks out of my vision. I can feel that she's completely gone.

"What!" Barago yells behind me. I turn. The four men that he'd been protecting Noriko from are also gone, as are the two men I'd left on the ground.

The scene becomes silent where once was great noise. It's almost eerie. What kind of creature can give special powers to others and then transport them away so suddenly? I shiver and my back crawls. I clench my hand on the hilt of my sword to get it to stop and focus on Noriko, that she's still safe and we weren't taken.

It's very hard to fight my internal practice of fear, but I already have the practice of a strong will so I force it to come. By then I've already wrapped Noriko in my arms to hold her protectively, sorry I wasn't there with her when they appeared, sorry I wasn't carrying my sword to begin with, and most sorry that they escaped having seen us and me knowing almost nothing about them even still.

We head back to the house, watching carefully for more attackers, but nothing happens. Just as we reach the door, Agol comes galloping up, fear and worry on his face too. "Is every thing here okay?" he asks while still on horseback. Geena has her face buried in his jacket and is trembling.

Noriko puts her hand on Geena's knee, concerned for her. Agol continues, "When we talked to the landlady she said some people had come looking for us and she told them how to find us. When Geena used her sight to see who it was, she suddenly became very afraid and said she saw monsters. We've come right back."

"Geena, come here," Noriko says gently. "We're okay. Izark chased off the strong one and Barago and I kept the others at bay long enough for us to stay safe." Geena slips off the horse into Noriko's arms and buries her head in Noriko's shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to see something so scary. Don't look again, okay?" Geena nods.

"Was it really monsters?" Agol asks in surprise.

Barago and I deny it. "It was men, six of them, but Izark took out two early, and a woman with really strange powers."

I frown. "She said that a 'Lord Silent Mask' had sent them to take Noriko, but that's all we know."

We pack everything that evening, even going so far as to load it in the wagon. After dinner, we look at each other, uncomfortable. While we would stay for the sake of Noriko and Geena, I'm not the only one who feels we should be on the move sooner than later. They know where we are and night raids are common. All they have to do is bring more men than we can handle and overwhelm us - or have me give us away entirely trying to keep Noriko safe.

Noriko takes Geena's hand. "We would also be more comfortable sleeping outside somewhere not here. Even if they were to not come, none of us would get a good night's sleep, I think, if we stay. Let's go as far as we can on our way."

Geena nods. "I think so too. We've been sleeping outside a lot. It's easier to do that than be afraid." We leave the house clean, with a thank you note and a bouquet of flowers.

I put my bed close to Noriko this night, still concerned about the trouble we've suddenly had, and we men set night watches. I can feel the same sort of feeling I felt before when Irktule had damaged the demon of the White Mist Forest and it was waiting to attack. I do believe that this is another one, perhaps even a stronger one, and it wants Noriko and is unhappy I prevented a simple solution to that desire.

I walk a safe distance from the camp while Agol takes the first watch and try to relax enough to sense what that demon might be sensing to even know about Noriko. I fall immediately into the warmth that is her in that place in my heart where I'm connected to her.

I realize that it's not just that I stand with her. I'm already connected to her. Unless that demon can tell that she is warm and good, the antithesis of what demons eat, then I can't know what it senses no matter what I try.

I suppose the destruction of something that's a strong force for good in this world could give a demon strength, but keeping Noriko alive to have even one moment of talking to it would make it dissolve into nothingness. She would logically convince it that it was pointless to live, and then she would wash it away with her tears. I sigh to myself and return to the camp to sit by her side on my bed.

I try to distract myself by learning the energy of water. It's smooth and inexorable. It's also like earth, but it's like air. Mist rises up gently, rains fall gently, and clouds form in the air. Playing with water energy is nicely calming, but tiring. It's heavy like earth but not quite so much. I'll probably stick to clouds in the main. The wind likes to tease them, after all, herding them along through the sky.


	22. Jealousy

Hearing Noriko's calm lecture, having her kind faith, practicing in peaceful solitude - they haven't really prepared me for the reality of facing the fear within me. It's such a large part of who I am. I've lived afraid of myself for my whole life, and afraid of others just as long. This is the first time I've trusted anyone like this.

Even on the caravans, I kept to myself and was at best ignored save when the owners needed to give me instructions - until Gaya. She forced herself on me, and proved herself to me, but not enough to tell her my secrets.

I couldn't even tell Noriko those secrets tied to that deep, dark, and looming fear. That part of me is still trying to adjust to the fact she does know and doesn't run screaming and fainting. I think that's one of the reasons I would like for us to be on the road again alone, so that part of me can really 'experiment' with what it means for her to walk with me so calmly. Then it might settle better.

Still, I practice. I have to practice. I can't allow that level of demon form out again. It's too painful, and too frightening to think of what it can do if I can't control it. If it can pull small mountains down, it can destroy cities, not just men who anger me. I'm practicing it even as I drive the wagon into the capital city of Guzena: Selena. Noriko finally has the opportunity to see one of our capital cities and it looks like she approves.

I'm practicing because I'm practicing not killing Banadam. Anger's just about as hard to control as fear, so I figure the practice for one is the practice for the other. He and Gaya were waiting for us on the road outside Selena, having been sent there by Gaya's sister, Zena, who is a strong seer. Geena had told us they would be meeting us, so we weren't surprised.

It turned out Banadam had asked to escort Gaya not just because they are of the same tribe and to politely keep her company, but because he wanted to see Noriko first thing. He was overly familiar in his greeting of her, and he ignored the rest of us. She was pointedly disinterested in having such direct attention, but he refused to open his eyes to her desires, only assuming his were sufficient.

I glared at him, trying to get him to see better, but he only glared back, as if to declare war with me. He doesn't understand what he's engaged in battle, and I'm not the worst of his opponents. Even I won't push Noriko. Women are formidable. She is impossible and terrifying when angry. A soft and cute small creature that bites without warning and no one will believe it was that creature that attacked you to give such a wound.

So, I'm practicing and trying to remember that she'll defend herself sufficiently in this matter. If I step in the way, I'll only cause sharp things to fly at me. However, I reserve the right still to become her defender, as that is my proper role.

Gaya has me stop the wagon outside a house in the middle of the city, not too far from the temple and government complex. She told us while we waited during Noriko's early recovery that Zena had been the seer for the king before one of the evil ministers, Wazalotte, brought a beautiful seer named Tazasheena into the court. The weak willed king had been bedazzled and fallen for her, and replaced Zena with the new seer.

Since then things have been hard for Zena. It's obvious that means in bad ways, because the broken windows on her house haven't been replaced. Gaya says they're broken every time they're repaired so they've simply stopped repairing them. It's a sad state for things to be in such that Zena can't even get simple and proper redress for such uncivilized behavior against her.

Gaya leads us into the house, which is opulent enough to still show the level of respect Zena was once held in. We reach the door into the main sitting room and there is Duke Jeida, his sons, two young ladies, and Gaya, sitting in a large upholstered chair.

"Twins, Izark!" Noriko whispers to me, excited, since Gaya hadn't warned us. I place my hand on her back to calm her at least a little. We are guests here. She takes my arm, as she'll do when she's excited but entering a new situation, a little unsure how to face it so letting me guide her.

I'm relieved the sisters dress differently and smell different. I won't have to rely on eyesight only to tell them apart. Gaya is a warrior and smells of the strength of one. Zena is the weaker of the two, her strength being an internal one. I wonder just how strong she is, since I've only ever talked to one strong seer before. Could she see things others haven't been able to?

"Sis. Hey. What's wrong? You look in a daze." Gaya is getting Zena's attention, wanting to introduce us properly, but Zena's been staring at us, or off into space, since we walked in. I'm not sure it's a good idea to interrupt if she's seeing something. I've heard that can hurt seers.

Zena blinks. "Wh-what?" She looks around. Then rather sadly says, "It's gone."

"What? What's gone?" Sometimes Gaya is slow. Obviously it's the vision Zena was seeing that's gone.

"The room was filled with light," Zena spreads her arms wide and looks around with a peaceful expression on her face, as if she would bask in the light she mentions. I freeze slightly. That's what it feels like to be with Noriko. Was she seeing what Silent Mask can feel? She was staring at us.

"I'll bet you were dreaming of food again," Gaya scolds Zena. "You're often falling asleep with your eyes wide open." I want to face palm. Her own sister and she has no idea what it's like to be a seer. Even I learned it just talking to them in taverns.

"Sorry everybody," Gaya says to the rest of us. "My sister's been stressed recently so..."

"That's okay," Banadam says. "Maybe it would be too much for Zena to investigate Noriko's situation now."

"Of, of course. Not now. No reason to rush," Noriko says, somewhat embarrassed to be singled out. We discussed on our way into town that Zena might look into who attacked us and who sent them, but it certainly didn't need to be mentioned in that way before introductions are even properly begun.

"Investigate what?" Rontarna asks.

Gaya answers. "Noriko was attacked by strangers before her group left the village. So I wanted my sister to find out who they were. But we'll do it later. Zena looks too tired for that."

"No!" Zena's hands bang down on the arms of her chair, startling Noriko, who grips my arm a little tighter. She's too uncertain in this place with people she doesn't know. I'm starting to feel that way myself, just a little. Things generally feel off in the room. I do have to wonder if there's a little sibling battle going on, though. If Zena is never quite understood by Gaya, then she may feel she has to always fight to be seen. "I'll do it!"

Gaya argues with her and Zena argues back that she's just fine, not helping either Noriko or me. We back off as she approaches with firm footsteps. Like Gaya, she has little comprehension of the finer social niceties, I decide. She grabs for Noriko's hand. Oddly, she then grabs for mine. Didn't she understand what we were asking for? The reading shouldn't need to include me, which is likely to warp the answer.

"Mmm...what is this?" Zena is confused. "The image is so chaotic I can't make any sense of it." As I thought adding me is problematic. I try to get my hand free, but she has a very firm grip on it. "Yes, I should be able to...," she mutters, "if I concentrate harder, I might be able to understand what this means." That won't help, unless she's a very strong seer. She suddenly freezes, then a soft, "Aww," comes from her lips. "It exploded." She slumps, dejected.

"What, you mean that thing that would happen when we were kids? When you pushed too hard and everything would go blank?" Gaya asks, worried.

"Yeah." Zena lets our hands go and Noriko hides behind me just a little, holding me again. I reach back and take her hand in mine and hold on to her hand tightly as well, but behind me so the others can't see it so easily.

I'm somewhat disappointed Zena wasn't strong enough to see anything either, since it was the same for all the other seers, except this was the first one who went so far as to explode her vision. At the same time I'm glad she didn't see anything other than that. Our futures are still not set in stone, and she could see the light Noriko brings with her. Both things are relieving.

"Does that mean she won't be able to see what might be attacking Noriko, to use her powers?" Barago asks.

"Here, use me as a test case to see if it's really gone," Agol offers. His daughter is a seer so he has a better understanding of what they go through.

Zena tries, but can't see anything. "I'm sorry. But it will come back, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next. I just need time to recover." She's trying to apologize and reassure us.

"Does it mean Noriko's attackers are too strong?" Gaya asks.

"Ah, sorry, it's probably our fault," Rontarna says, rubbing the back of his head. "We pressed Zena to examine a romantic relationship even though she insisted that wasn't her specialty."

"Ah! Shut up, Rontarna!" Koriki grabs Rontarna. "That's supposed to be a secret! "

"I didn't say anything about Izark or Noriko!" Rontarna protests.

"Idiot! You just did!" Koriki hits Rontarna over the head and they start fighting.

Noriko is gripping my hand so tightly that I'm caught between blowing up the room and trying to calm her down. She might blow it up first, or fill it with fire. I might survive that option.

The room is blowing up just fine with us not saying anything, but it's only making it worse to have the words continue to fly from person to person. I hear the words that they asked because Banadam likes Noriko so much they wanted to know if he had any hope. He blushes so red he's the one in flames and he scolds them loudly. Noriko's hand is very hot in my hand and I'm quite sure she's also blushing and wishing to melt into the ground. This has gone on long enough.

"Um, everyone, please let's calm down." Duke Jeida has stepped in to be the water on the flames. He manages to soothe things over enough that everyone relaxes and apologizes.

Now that it's calm enough she can be heard, Noriko lets go of my hand and steps forward. Shame is on most faces as they have to face the person they've injured. "Everyone, excuse me, please. I'm sorry. I thought I had said it clearly before. I am Izark's." She bows a small but polite bow and steps back to my side.

I keep as neutral a face as possible. I hadn't expected such a declaration to come from her mouth, although I should expect it, I suppose. It echos the role of servant she's played before. We both know that we can't afford to be separated, nor would we willing stay apart. It's a sufficient response.

For those who believe we're romantically tied, or might be, it also answers to their questions - however they wish to interpret it. For it to come out of her mouth as an apology makes those who are feeling ashamed feel it even more. She's effectively shown how exact and harsh her scolds are.

The two young ladies in the room invite everyone in to dinner, and everyone is relieved to have the distraction. By mutual consent Noriko and I hold back, letting the others go before us. We need to recover somewhat after that disturbing chaos.

The dinner conversation surrounds the political climate of the city and country, which is degenerating similar to Zago as the ministers take more and more power because the king won't prevent them from doing so. Many of the good ministers have been ousted already.

Duke Jeida and his sons are staying at a farm outside of town, working for the farmer there. He and I speak on other topics after dinner until they have to return. I think he's helping me to finish calming back down, which I appreciate. I'm apparently the only one who can have a decent conversation with him of the younger generation. Agol joins in and Noriko listens closely when the girls don't have her distracted. Then it's time for the de Gilenees to leave.

Zena takes us out into the garden to sit in the fresh air. She has a gazebo there that fits us nicely. The atmosphere is nice, until Banadam catches my eye. He isn't looking at Noriko this time. This time his eyes glare at me. I'm done with hiding from him. I fold my arms and narrow my eyes at him, letting just a little bit of the demon out. That was too much, to put Noriko into such a position, and he needs to know that he needs to step out.

When his eyes go to Noriko as his only defense, I lightly put my hand on her back and invite her to sit, then sit next to her close enough to claim her. She's already comfortable with that distance from before, and after the attention today it makes her relax to have me that close. Banadam turns away to lean against the post of the entrance he was standing in and fold his arms to pout. He looks like he's thinking of what plan he can devise. I ignore him from then on.

"Zena, can I help you?" I ask her. I'd like to know what she wants to do next. If she'd like help with the thugs bothering her, I could help with that.

"Oh, that's right," Barago perks up. He understands my intention quickly, having been one of those thugs long enough himself. "Agol and I are good fighters, but not as good as Izark. We could all help you."

"I know," Zena smiles. "Gaya told me about you guys. Thanks for offering to help. Well...let's see. Actually, I read my own fate when the bad stuff started. The answer I got was that I should just be patient for now, and wait it out. So while I was waiting it out I did a lot of thinking.

"I thought about the things that troubled me in the past. I thought about my powers. I asked myself why I could see the future. Then I started to wonder what exactly the future is. I wondered if it's what we call destiny? And if so, does that mean our destiny is determined at birth and all we do is follow the path that fate has decided for us? I asked myself this question over and over."

"I remember you used to ask that question when we were young," Gaya comments.

"That's right," Zena agrees. "As I grew older, however, I decided that wasn't the way things were. I decided that the future I see is just a 'place'. A 'place' we can go to. But we can all decide what to think and do when we get to that place. Depending on your choices, you can make your own fate. So I decided we determine our own future after all.

"All this time that I was under such stress I wondered, if there is such a thing as destiny, could destiny be the goal that we pursue at that 'place'? If what we do is up to us, not predetermined, maybe when we get to that 'place', we find our mission waiting for us.

Zena smiles a big smile. "While I was wondering about all that stuff, Gaya and her friends came and then you guys arrived. After Gaya arrived, I knew what I could do now - journey."

"Journey?" Agol asks.

"Yes. Grand Duke Jeida and I discussed it. I'll use my abilities as a seer and go on a journey to find the missing ministers. After all, I'm no longer employed by the state to take up all my time, so I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want." She smiles, not concerned about her unemployment.

Her enthusiasm rises as she finishes telling us her plans. "Other countries have troubles, too. In the midst of this turmoil, many good influential people everywhere have disappeared. I want to find them and help them find each other. Will you guys come with me?"

I've heard words that I needed to hear, that have stopped me from moving forward myself for just a moment as they fall into me. Zena has spoken from the years of experiences she's had in seeing for herself and other people, and then seeing what results from those visions of the future. Her words carry much weight with me. It's what I needed to hear at this point in my life: the reassurance that I can choose where I am in the end, who I am, and what I am.

The silence as I assimilate her words goes on long enough she says, "Think about it. It's up to you. Take your time. Anyway, we haven't solved Noriko's problem yet."

"Sounds interesting," Barago says, "more interesting than licking Nada's boots."

Agol moves to put his hand on his daughter. He has her to think about, too. I'm sure he's concerned about all the traveling, but she's held up well so far. His question startles me. "What do you think about the Sky Demon and the Awakening?"

Zena turns to him thoughtfully. "Well...they sound scary, don't they? I have no idea what or where they might be. Nor do we really know what they will become and what they'll do in this world. Those predictions definitely bother me. But as I said, the future can be changed. I don't believe in unyielding fate. So, no matter how minor they may be, solving the problems that lie in my path will be my mission."

Like Noriko, Zena also believes it might be possible for me to change my fate, to change the destiny that awaits me. It's added to the knowledge Noriko has given me. It will take likely several weeks for me to come to terms with the idea, but it's another tug on the lead to turn me to believe that it might be possible.

I don't commit tonight. It's a worthy goal, but I need time to think about where to go from here, and Zena is right. We need to focus on keeping Noriko safe from the current threat.

-o-o-o-

I'm rooming with Barago. Zena was wealthy enough that she has many bedrooms in this house. It isn't the largest in the city, but it's still very nice. The beds were comfortable, but I feel like, as I rise from mine, that I slept worse than I have the whole time we were at the rental house.

I leave the bedroom quietly. I've risen before anyone else this morning. The garden is cool and comforting this morning with birds and insects calling their morning songs. I wander slowly, tired and listless.

A footstep sounds at the entrance to the garden from the house and I turn. My face goes sour. Banadam has arrived and is unwelcome, but it isn't my home to tell him to come or go. I turn away and ignore him. "You're up early," he comments.

I think about not answering, but practice, and say, "You, too," continuing my slow walk.

His dense head doesn't understand and I hear him walking my way, though not stridently. "I didn't think anyone else would be awake."

"Everyone else is still sleeping," I inform him, since I know.

"I see. Then this is a good time." I pause and turn to look at Banadam over my shoulder. What's he planning now? He turns to look into my eyes. "I wanted to talk to you about something. I guess you already know, but I ...love Noriko." I can't help but turn to him, my eyes widening that he would so openly come to talk to me about this.

"I confessed my feelings to her last night, but she said that it isn't possible for her to return my feelings. Do you prevent her from seeking a husband because she's to serve only you as your servant? That seems rather cruel to me. I would like to change your mind, and ask you to allow me to seek her hand."

My disbelief that I'm in this situation, hearing these things, is large. I address the issue that irritates me first. "Noriko isn't my servant. She may choose anything she wishes to choose. If she's chosen to follow me, and to forego any romantic interests, then it isn't my place to say otherwise."

Banadam looks confused. "She isn't? She told Gaya she was."

I shake my head. "What need does a wandering swordsman have for a servant? I saved her life and she had no money to pay. Perhaps she was trying to explain how she wanted to repay me? I don't know. She still couldn't say some of the things she wanted to say well, when I left her with Gaya."

Banadam rubs his head, trying to put my perspective in with everything else strange he has in his head. "So, then, you won't mind if I try to win her hand?"

I turn away from him. "It doesn't matter what I want. You need to open your eyes better or she'll scratch them out for you, Banadam. If she's already told you she won't return your feelings, you'll only make her angry to continue."

Banadam is suddenly angry. "Why do you say that? Noriko is kind and gentle, with great respect for others. To say she will attack me..." He suddenly stops, then says, as if he's had the sun come out, "You...you love her. You don't want me to try because I'll be a rival!" he accuses me. While it angers me that he says it, inside I want to spitefully tease him that he's so late for dinner he's missed breakfast.

Then he's confused again. "If you love her, why haven't you said anything? She's willing to stay with you already. Surely she would accept you, if she desires you that much."

I turn to Banadam in shock. "You haven't been listening at all, Banadam!" I scold loudly, losing my patience with the man. "Noriko's already chosen what she'll do, and she's already told you what her intentions towards you are. Leave her alone!"

His eyes are wide, then he points at me. "You've already told her? And she...rejected you?" He goes angry again, "Then why do you make her stay with you?"

I want to slit the man's throat. He constantly chooses to warp words the way he wants to hear them, and none of them are right. I'm suddenly feeling a thing I don't want to feel. My legs give out and I collapse to sit down hard on the ground. My muscles are shivering and I can barely stay upright. Everything is beginning to not work, and the world around me goes hazy.

I only focus on breathing for now. I need to get back to my bed, and this was bad timing. I don't need to show weakness before Banadam, and Noriko is still in danger. If it is a demon I'll be needed to protect her. It's too soon, too close, too unexpected, like the other times since I left Noriko at Gaya's, then was with her again. I don't understand. Did the adrenaline enter my system because I was arguing with Banadam, or is it something else? What causes the weakness?

I thought it was the overuse of energy, but I haven't used hardly any, except against that woman, and that was very minor. Is it a difference because of the newest physical change? That frightens me.

"Izark!" I hear her feet and turn away.

"I don't need help!" I scold her loudly. I don't want her to keep acting the servant, and I don't need Banadam to add more strange things to his head.

Painfully I push up to my feet. I'm caught by sturdy hands, Gaya's hands. "What is it, Izark?"

"He gets this way sometimes," Noriko explains. "He needs to rest for a few days. Can you please help him get to his bed?"

Gaya helps me walk back into the house and to my room. I can barely see, hear, or function. But I wish I hadn't said that to Noriko. I do need her help. I need to understand why this happens. But it's too late to ask it now, or hear the answer. I need to sleep first.


	23. Sky Demon

The pain in my heart as I lean against the door frame into the sitting room and watch Noriko being carried out of a hole in the wall on the opposite side of the room is so great I can hardly stand it. But then I can hardly stand to begin with.

The explosions pulled me out of bed, sword in hand, Barago following me, but there was not just one woman with special powers, who's still here to keep me occupied because she has a vendetta, but four other men also with differing special powers. The rest of our companions managed to stay alive, but they couldn't prevent what's happened.

Once again cloth is headed my way. Once again, as in Calco, I manage to dodge and cut them, but collapse. The pattern is repeated over and over. I manage to fight half-way across the room, as if a stumbling drunk holding a sword. My ultimate goal is Noriko, of course, no matter how far she is from me at the moment. The woman is irrelevant...until searing pain goes through my upper left arm and the entirety of everything below that line falls to the ground.

I scream at the pain and grab my shoulder. The blood pours out of the cut arm. I'm in shock, but somehow through the pain, the mental confusion, and the worry, I hear the woman say, "...Cutting off your arm wasn't enough. Once we squeeze the blood out of that girl and offer it to Lord Silent Mask he'll reward us..."

The shock to my system of those words is even more than all the others combined since the explosions, and all this on top of Banadam this morning. _Blood...out of? Offer?_ The power within me escapes and sparks around the room. It starts with a single small spark that doesn't let the woman leave the room out through the door she was headed for. As the words sink in, the sparks explode out more and more and it almost hurts more to keep them in than let them out.

_They can't!_ I reach down and grab my arm from the floor and set it, then push it up onto the stump of my arm. The pain returns and I cry out again. The reactions of the body aren't things I'm paying attention to, though. I press my arm into place and let the power out. The power is part of what heals me quickly and I need to get to Noriko, _now!_

Everyone in the room is crying out and cowering as the sparks increase in intensity and the woman is panicking. I can feel her fear rising at the same time as I feel my hair begin to change color. Somehow I manage to hold the power level there as the power of rage surges through me and I can't care. My fear for Noriko is greater than my fear of what others see, and honestly, I'm still lost in the mental fog of my ailment.

My healing arm flexes with a reflexive jerk, then the hand turns into a claw to match the level of power I'm holding, raging inside of me and outside as the power still sparks around the room. Perhaps I'm holding at this level because the rest is leaking out. I can't spare any mental power to think about it.

I'm finally able to raise my arm and move it, settling it back into place. I clench my fist, then my eyes are on the woman, still standing in the doorway, staring at me in horror. She flinches from the teeth, eyes, ears, everything that is me when I'm at this level, then she screams, "He-he's a monster!" and darts away.

I'm after her immediately, leaping out the door to land on the wall. I push off and each step is a bound that takes me five times as far as a step of a man. I'm pushing her. I want her to lead me to Noriko and her nest of men who need to die.

She's on her horse by the time I make it out the front door. She lashes it harshly and it's running as fast as it can. I smells me and wants to be away as much as she does. I leap to the roofs, very tall in this city, and then from roof to roof, following her from there so that the horse doesn't smell me.

She leaves the narrow street for a broader way. She's headed for the center of the city and the buildings set on high hills. I leap down to the street and continue to follow her, but I hear my name. I look back and it's Banadam. He isn't who I need. I turn back to my quarry, tracing her path, returning to the roofs as soon as I can. I don't need more people seeing me. That will bring more delays.

At one point I do pause to breathe and confirm the building the woman is headed for. I try to reach for Noriko, calling for her desperately, but I can hear no reply and can't feel anything but the rage and fear. It pushes me onward more desperately. _I must get to her!_

The woman jumps off her horse at the door to an opulent building, likely a temple. She runs through the door, slamming it shut behind her. I can hear a bar being slid across it as I reach it, close behind her. I keep moving, running into the door with my shoulder.

The impact echoes through the room beyond the door loudly enough I can hear it outside. One fist hits the center of the door, surrounded with power and an energy shield. The door buckles. The other fist hits the same place the same way and the door and the bolt give way.

I push the doors open with both hands and walk through, glaring at the men in the room arrayed to face me. The woman backs up and flees to the back of the group. The two temple guards, holding spears, shiver then run. Nine men remain to face me, but they don't have Noriko with them. Her scent passes on through the next set of doors.

I run towards them and they run to meet me. I leap over them, intent on stopping the deed that's planned. I'm trapped by a whip that has lashed around my ankle and I fall to the ground. I'm immediately up and spinning around on my hands so that the man holding on to the whip is flying through the air crashing into all of the other men in the room. He lets go of the whip and flies through the air to crash into the wall some distance away.

I'm up on my feet again instantly and kicking the whip off my foot, looking for the door Noriko was taken through. "We can get him!" They're talking themselves up, and they talk about the increase of power they'll receive for killing one human girl who isn't theirs to kill. They come at me again, weapons raised. "Die, monster! The girl is ours!"

"DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!" The power of the anger at their presumption rises in me and my forehead splits. I barely notice. The power explodes out from me and blows them back and shakes the whole building. I suddenly feel the demon farther back in the building as it reacts to my power. I'd been hidden from it until that moment. I know where to go now.

"I - I feel amazing strength!" exults one of the men in the room.

"What is this?"

"Could it be...the girl has been sacrificed? Is this the strength we were promised?"

_No. It can't be._ I try to reach Noriko again, both with my mind and physically. Surely they can't have been this fast. Such things take ritual and time. _Surely not?_

I'm slammed with nine different attacks all at once, much stronger than what they'd been trying before. _Stop!_ My frustration grows. _Always! Always men make me push too hard to reach my goal of peaceful living!_ I move fast, faster than ever. My energy shield is almost impenetrable. I continue to head for my goal, ignoring them. Then suddenly I'm held fast. I can't move to dodge or reach my goal. "Out of my way!" I cry, demanding the one thing I require from them.

I'm not released and I feel the armor coming on me as my power increases again, the anger I feel at being held from the place I need to be bringing it on, and bringing enough power to break out of my unseen bonds. "I said - _Out of my way!_"

I send a wave of energy through the room and every man is lifted up and slammed hard into the walls of this large antechamber, large enough to hold the standing worshipers of the city in it. "GET LOST! ALL OF YOU, OUT OF HERE!" I will not stand for the delay any longer.

The energy explodes up also, blowing a hole in the roof of the building above me. The whole building shakes dangerously. The remainder of the roof over this room collapses down, falling on the men in the room, and even the woman where she was hiding. The life in this room is finally still and I'm satisfied.

I run forward again, now unrestrained from leaving this room, and enter the inner parts of the temple. My whole body throbs, and I remember this pain brings something frightening, but not what. I'm focused only on getting to where I need to be.

I round a corner, following the scent I'm locked onto, and am blocked again. This time by a swirling tower of water. I call up the wind to protect me, swirling around me, but I only want this thing out of my way. I call up the energy and blast at the water creature and it only separates it, then it coalesces again. I did damage, but it was very slight.

I dodge as it swirls up to entrap me. No matter what I try, it can't be harmed in any major way, and it's delaying me from my goal. I pause, watching it, trying to think, trying to understand how I can get it out of my way. It begins to spin, with a sharp point at the end of the spinning cyclone that darts forward quickly and slams into my chest, pinning me against the wall.

That's even more irritating, that it's pinned me. The spinning point does nothing to me. My energy shield can't be penetrated by the likes of this. However, it's now also pinned with me. I collect all of my power of anger, sorrow, irritation, and fear and push back against the point of the spinning water spout, until it's far enough away from my core, then I send it all in one great explosive attack. The spinning water spout can't escape the power. I've penned it in with air the same as I penned in the first demon, locking it to the rock.

The majority of the water demon disappears. Some water splashes to the floor and I land on it, my feet snapping into their black scaled, clawed form. My arms and hands had already changed as I attacked the demon, and I fall to a crouch, holding myself up with one hand.

The energy from the attack continues on, not slowed or abated by the destruction of the demon, and explodes out of the building having gone through a large number of rooms to get there. The building rocks and pieces of it start falling.

_DESTRUCTION_. It's the focus of my being, but somewhere, something inside cries out, _No! Wrong!_

_DESTRUCTION_. It throbs through me, demanding to be let out. _Must stop. Will hurt... (Hurt who? I've forgotten.)_

The next throb is not a throb, but another tearing of even this scaled and armored body. From my back emerge two things and I can't hold back a cry of agony as I fall to my hands and knees, even already as mostly a demon. I feel them rise from my back and then expand. _No!_ I beg, whimpering in that hidden place that's trying to stop this.

My wings flap down to rest at either side of me and power surges naturally with that simple motion, fleeing me to slam into every wall in either direction until it's released from the building. I can feel it continue onward and outward, unimpeded since this is the highest building in the area in those directions. It goes for miles and my crying heart sobs.

The next throb is a throb of pure pain. I'm a child on the floor in my home again, crying out in pain, wishing for anyone to help me, to make it stop. _I hurt. ...Why does my heart hurt like this?_ I whimper it, cry it, wanting to understand, wishing for it to stop.

Slowly some things come to me as I pant, waiting for the pain to calm. _I was looking for something. ...I was searching for someone. ...What? What was I looking for? Who was I searching for?_

_...I don't know. I can't see anything. ...This hurts so bad_, I moan. _This is killing me_. A scream is ripped from me and I feel power leave my body to go slamming into the roof above me. It's both a relief from the pain, and causes more pain in my heart at the same time.

I sob inside, there on my hands and knees, and then...there's something different. Something coming towards me that my soul wants desperately. Sweet, warm, light, and somehow calling to me, desperately trying to reach my own pained heart. I turn to look, trying to sit up slowly to see without harming. Someone is running towards me, through the darkness of this place I'm in and they're encircled in light.

"IZARK!" _I know this voice._ The light she brings with her is beginning to dissolve the darkness around me and with it I find some relief from the place I'm trapped inside. The memory of who this is tries very hard to break through, to come back to me. A name breaks through: _No-ri-ko._

I can suddenly see my surroundings and the roof crumbling above her. I direct a small portion of my power at it, brushing it away so that it can't fall on what I protect. I keep her protected until she's near me. Then I'm afraid. _No. I can't protect you from me. Don't come near, Noriko!_

She's already there, throwing her arms around my neck. "Izark, it's okay. I'm here. You are still beautiful. You are still kind. You are still Izark. You have protected me. It is enough."

The arms around me warm me, comfort me, push back the fear, anger, and other emotions with the peace and hope they hold in them. I want to hold her but I'm afraid of hurting her, so I can only stand and sob inside in relief that she's alive, that she's come when no other person would come, and at the time I most desperately needed someone to come and help me not become the thing I don't want to become.

I soak up all the love Noriko's willing to give me, all the belief that I am good, that I can reverse this in the end. I'm desperate for those things to fill me. I want those things, not what I almost became, what I was almost lost to.

I can feel the wings receding quietly into my back. The hard scales lie back down and my claws recede. I'm able to breathe a little easier, the overwhelming power leaving me, too, as if the demon is slowly backing away, unable to continue to be destructive as long as love has me in her arms.

When I can breathe more normally, I know that my hair has changed back to black, my ears are no longer pointed, and my skin no longer scaled and black. The horn, too, recedes.

The first changes leave me, and I make sure I truly have human hands and arms and am amazed. The scales that were on my arms from when I was a child are even gone. I can finally hold Noriko, and I do so, tightly, but not too tightly. I bury my head in her neck, to hide from the destruction that's been left behind, although they brought it on themselves, yet again. I sorrow.

"Noriko. Noriko." I can only shiver and shake, my fear of what comes next upon me. She keeps the rest at bay. But we need to escape before that "next" comes for us.

I take deep breaths, holding on to her faith, until I can lift her in my arms. I protect us with a shield as I take us from the now crumbling building in great leaps forward. We manage to get clear of the building as a whole before it completely collapses in a great rushing groan that sends dust and debris wafting out in all directions. I can only hope we can escape unseen and the people of the city will think everyone inside either has died, or must be dug out.


	24. Discovery

The last person I want to see is waiting for us as I walk down the steps carrying Noriko in my arms. She's looking over my shoulder, watching our backs to make sure no soldiers see us. Banadam is brave. He's willing to look me in the eye, but he knows. He saw me.

I don't want to frighten him, but I still can't help but dare him with my eyes. Dare him to take what's most precious to me. It's still Noriko that will fight him, not me, but he'll never understand that. His hands clench at his sides, but his posture is one of knowing he's lost already. It's just hard for his heart to give up.

I set Noriko down on her feet, knowing that I'm unleashing the weapon. She turns to look and see what I'm looking at and her lips press together and she stiffens. I'm quite sure her eyes flash their fire as well, but that wasn't directed at me. It was directed to the man who was looking into those eyes.

His shoulders slump slightly and he looks away from us both. He's finally seen the truth of what I told him this morning. Noriko will hear none of what he has to say. She's already lost her patience with him. When she relaxes slightly to speak with him, I can hear in her voice that she's also sorry we've made him and everyone else afraid of us. "Thank you for coming to help us, Banadam."

She leads me as we continue our walk. We still need to escape the area. As we reach him, he looks me up and down. "That's awful, Izark, to destroy your clothing ...and the temple." His eyes shout his frustration at me, then he turns away.

"Go hide in the woods. I'll bring back some clothes for you. You'll be the laughingstock of the city if you walk back to Zena's that way, and she'll never be able to show her face in public again." He's already on his way, unable to stay in our joint presence any longer, no longer able to hide his tears of frustration and pain, and not wanting us to see them.

The woods are part of the temple and government complex and are part of a series of gardens. I take Noriko's fingers lightly in mine and lead her into them where we can hide from anyone who comes searching the area. She turns to me, "Izark -" she begins, but I have felt a familiar feeling.

I turn quickly, "Who's there?" I demand, hunting through the trees, up in the branches. My eyes lock onto a woman standing in one of the trees. Long blond locks fall from her head and her high nobility is very obvious. Her beauty is incomparable, but it's filled with pride and vanity. I'm both attracted and very repelled at the same time and a part of me wants to quail behind Noriko and hold her forward as my shield.

"_Izark, that is Tazasheena, the seer._" I recognize the name immediately and all the stories of her, and of Zena, click into a full understanding. "_She was the one who plotted with Wazalotte to sacrifice me to Lord Silent Mask. She knows what you are. She was watching you with her sight. I'm sorry._"

There wasn't anything Noriko could have done about that, but I immediately want to kill this woman, and then find Wazalotte and smash him into dust. They were the source of me being dragged into turning into the Sky Demon for the first time, and they threatened the life of Noriko.

"So," Tazasheena's voice might entice some men, but to me her voice is cold and insincere, mocking, "no one knows who the Sky Demon and the Awakening are because no one is looking for humans. It is interesting that you can hide your signature." She knows how to recognize demons. But then she worked with Lord Silent Mask. I'm hunting, looking for the opening.

Noriko grasps my hand before I can leap. "_Izark, she can teleport. I left her in the chamber._"

I pause. That's important information. My eyes lock onto the creature on her shoulder. It's the same kind as the chief of thieves used. I relax slightly. We need to plan. "_If I leave you she'll come take you, but she must die. If she escapes, who knows who she will sell her information to?_"

Noriko thinks quickly. "_I have my knife. If we let her grab me, I could use it on her in surprise. But, I can't be sure I can kill her._"

I understand Noriko may not be able to kill. We've trained her to if she must absolutely do it, but she's always hesitated. Still, she must if we're going to survive. "_I will give chase. When you've injured her, keep her in place and I'll finish it._" If we can do that, it would be best.

"_Okay_. ...Why do you think that, Tazasheena?" Noriko asks aloud, still holding on to my hand. As long as we stay holding hands, Tazasheena can't steal her away. "I am merely a human woman like yourself."

"Because his power was sufficient to nearly destroy a demon, and pull down a large building as well," Tazasheena answers.

I've taught Noriko, although she already understood it, that making your opponent talk both gives them time to rethink attacking, and gets enough information out of them to perhaps give us an advantage over them if we can learn something from them. The woman with the cloth weapons was a failure of that attempt. She refused to talk.

"There are more men that have special powers or strengths," Noriko is unimpressed for our sake, to perhaps keep hiding what we are. "Didn't Lord Silent Mask give ten men different powers of strength? Izark is my protector, my guard. If a demon can give ten men strength, can't one give one man the strength of ten?

"The buildings in this land stand, but are poorly constructed. It couldn't be helped that it fell down when it's supports were damaged." The Teacher has made her attack, and lets me know what she learned.

"_Izark, she said 'nearly destroyed the demon'. Is it possible Lord Silent Mask is nearby, like the one after the village in the White Mist Forest, waiting for you so he can try again? If he captures you when she grabs me, you won't be able to come. What should I do if that happens?_"

I go cold and very angry, although this time I'm able to control it. I have her holding my hand, to remind me to remain in control so that we can plan properly. "_Prevent her from teleporting and kill her after you have damaged her._"

That makes her nervous but she answers, "_Okay. I'll do my best._"

Tazasheena disappears. I take Noriko by the waist and take one step. Noriko pulls out her dagger and slashes hard as soon as we see Tazasheena appearing in front of us. There is a cut-off cry and she disappears and reappears at some distance from us.

Blood is blossoming on her arm. With a knife it wasn't close enough to really damage her and now she knows, but Noriko is unafraid and unconcerned and gives her next attack. "I warned you, even in the temple, Tazasheena." My ears prick up. I wonder what happened in that room? "He is my guard, and you've made a grave error to think I am prey. You aren't strong enough. Ten demon-strengthened men, and the demon itself weren't sufficient. You cannot be either."

I've felt another thing I recognize while she was talking. The demon is using her talking to sneak up on me. "_Noriko, the demon is coming. I'll let it take me. I can't face them both at the same time. Let her take you, then on the next physical phase finish it._" Noriko needs to be in very close range to kill Tazasheena with her knife. If Tazasheena is holding Noriko that's plenty close, and her arms will be too full to defend herself.

Noriko swallows. "_I'll try. At the least I'll prevent her from teleporting again._"

"_Okay_." That's all I have time for as a water spout surrounds me and picks me up off the ground. At the same time Tazasheena disappears and is reappearing behind Noriko, and they're disappearing. I focus on my fight, determined to see it end as soon as possible.

I'm so surrounded by water that the demon must believe I can't breathe. Does it still not understand what I am? Not only do I not actually _have_ to breathe, I'm an air demon. Even water contains air, and it's been stirred up quite nicely and has lots of air I call to me to breathe.

That makes me think of what I can do to finish it off. It will take a little time, but it will use less energy than trying to blast it away again, which was mostly ineffective without the full strength of the Sky Demon. This will be better.

I call upon fire, heating up only my body first, and the space just around it. Slowly, I send the fire out from me, feeding it the same air that I'm drawing for my lungs. The air from outside the demon comes into it as I call for it as well. It's unconcerned about both. I can feel it changing from a killing intent to prideful mocking. I smile grimly to myself and merely continue my work.

The water is trying to crush me as it puts pressure on my body. I begin to stir the water, sending the air and fire through it to distract it from it's task, and increase the strength of my energy shield a little. Doesn't it remember I could do that before? It's only attack against the physical is pressure, and it's not enough to damage me.

Then it changes attacks. The water comes at my face forcefully and tries to climb into my nostrils, slip through my lips and down my throat to drown me, to enter me and take over. I prevent it with the same energy shield and all the air in the water can now be fed to the flame. I'll breathe again when this thing is dead.

There's another presence in the woods, one I don't recognize. That will be bad. If Tazasheena has reinforcements, or someone discovers us, we may not escape. I pull on the power and feed the fire to make it heat the demon faster. I pull the air in more quickly as well until I can stir the water that holds me and the two combine and it's suddenly boiling hot.

Angry and impatient, I pull on more power and the fear of the demon finally rises until the most heat it can hold is reached and it's being burned away into a mist. With a final burst of power filled with fire, I burn away the demon and I know it's dead this time.

I land on the ground and seek Noriko along our heart connection. I'm running that way as fast as I can, relieved she's still in these garden woods. There's a shriek from closer by and I hear Tazasheena cry out, saying they need to teleport immediately or they'll die.

By the time I reach the place they were, not very distant at all, they're gone - Tazasheena and the other person who came to help her. We're alive, the demon is dead, but an enemy who knows us has escaped. That's going to be a problem.

First, though, is getting to Noriko. I hunt through these different woods of thin trees set very close together. That was intelligent to hide from those who can teleport in these woods. It would be easy to die if one teleported into these woods. I have to hunt through the rows to find Noriko, even though I can feel where she is generally. The trees even give me troubles.

She's holding on to two trunks and is resting her head on them in despair. She's crying. "Noriko, I'm sorry I took too long."

She turns and puts her back against the trees and shakes her head. "No, I'm sorry I didn't protect you properly, and she got away alive. I'm sorry, Izark.

"I'm sorry that you have to keep protecting me, even though it hurts. I'm sorry I made you angry and that Banadam said hurtful things. I'm sorry that I can't trust myself, even though I asked you to trust me." The words come tumbling out of her mouth and the tears pour from her eyes.

My eyes widen and I reach for her, wanting to comfort her, to tell her that wasn't it at all, and not sure what all of her words mean. But she can't bear to face me. She turns and flees. "I'm sorry, Izark!" she calls out as she runs away from me.

It's the first time ...no second, she's run away from me. She was also in this sort of pain then. I slump slightly and let her run, but I follow just closely enough, walking, so that she can't get away completely. I have things I need to say to her.

When she finally collapses, I continue close enough to hear her sobs. It hurts, to hear her cry like this, to take on her shoulders things that are not hers to carry, to have wounds she doesn't need to have when this path is already hard enough.

I wait until her sobs calm down enough she should be able to think clearly, and hear me. I'm not sure she wants to hear my words, regardless, not when I couldn't tell her myself the most important words she had to learn from others. "_Noriko._"

"_Mmm._"

I stiffen. I'm not sure, but that wasn't a good sign in my understanding, that she won't use words at all. I hesitate, then say softly, a little sadly, "_I won't come there if you dislike me so much, but will you listen to what I have to say?_"

There's a pause, then she answers, "_Yes._" I'm relieved she'll at least grant me that much. I grasp hold of a tree next to me, holding on to it to hold to courage so I can say what needs to be said.

Humbly, I say, "_Noriko, if I could set you free, I would. I love you and it hurts me to see you this way. You came into this world against your will, and everything that has happened to you has been the same. I chose to save you and bring you out of the Sea of Trees. Since then, you've had no choice in anything that happens to you._

"_But you've still made choices. You've chosen to live - time and time again. Everything you've done has been a choice to live. I wish I could set you free so that you could choose to live the life you wish you could live, and not the one of pain and danger my life brings to you._

"_I have chosen to continue to protect you because __I __want__ to protect you. You also choose to help me and protect me. I wish I could set you free of that also, but I need you. Only your words, only your presence gives me hope. Even still, if I could do it, I would._" I clench my hand at my side. It's hard to say it. I could only do it because I love her and want the best for her.

Even more than ever I need her next to me, to know that she will help me not turn into that again - ever. I was almost lost and am even more afraid than ever of myself. If she is free to be gone from my side I may not have a choice. This time it is I who would choose death. Death over becoming the Sky Demon now that I know what it is. And I know I will become it if she's taken from me again.

But they aren't the only words I have to say. I also need her to not be the servant. "_You are not mine. You've been placed where you shouldn't have to be, but I do not own you. You may choose whatever you can choose - I don't want to prevent it. ...You may even choose to hate me._" To be hated would be better than the cold stiffness of the servant that opposes the warmth of her that I need, or so I feel, but regardless, she has that right.

I feel her coming closer, and when I can see her, her expression worries me. It's closed yet firm, as if another lesson is coming. I suppose it probably is and I should bear up under it.

"Izark, I do not hate you. But what I do feel, I can't trust. The heart connection we have wasn't created by you or me. We still don't know what it was created by. Until we can understand that, how can we know if we are choosing to love because it's what we really desire? If it's an [artificial] love, what will become of us when it's removed? Will we regret making that decision - to believe a thing that was forced?"

I shake my head. That's a thing she doesn't know that I do. "I didn't choose to love you because my heart hurt when you were gone. I learned of your gentleness and kindness, and _that_ touched me. Even still, I had to be sure, to test you to make sure you weren't hiding other reasons to be nice to me. I had to make sure you weren't trying to make me love you _artificially_ in order to gain power over me.

"It was very difficult to overcome the distrust I have of everyone, but even more of the Awakening. I still don't know what the purpose of the Awakening is in my life, because you changed what I was told it should have been, but I am sure of one thing. You are good. I can trust you.

"It's from these things that I've chosen to love you, to continue to protect you. If I didn't believe these things, I would have already killed you and set myself free. I went into the Sea of Trees to do that, and I couldn't. Now, I won't. I'll protect you until we're both free and you can choose whatever you wish to choose for yourself."

Her eyes are uncertain, surprised. Then she's thinking, remembering, teaching herself from the words I've given her, what little I can teach her that I learned and did. I barely breathe, holding on to hope as tightly as I can. My hand holding the tree next to me tightens its hold as well. I can't lose her. I don't know what feelings are hiding behind the servant. Her worry wasn't said so I could know.

When she's decided what she'll do, she looks back up at me. "Izark, I love you, but if I make that choice, then I'm choosing it for the rest of my life, not just until we are free of the heart bond. I will not go home. I need to know that you're willing to choose it to that level also ...and for you, it will be most difficult.

"From what I understand, demons do not die. I will die. Can you love a mortal whose lifespan is so short compared to eternity? Can you go on living and not hate me for having to leave you, but instead remember me with at least fondness after so many years have passed?"

She's thrown too many heavy words at me at once again. I take a half-step back, trying to carry them all and not lose them. It was hard to keep listening after the first four words. I decide to not address them right now. I'll think of them later, when I can properly savor them.

"Noriko, if we can learn how to make it so I don't have to be the Sky Demon, I may not be immortal, but stay mortal. It's another thing we can't know yet. But even still, I will owe you my life. If I can share all of yours with you, I would be very happy, and still not have repaid you."

"It's the same for me," she says soberly, "I am yours because I owe my life to you. You chose to save me that day in the Sea of Trees, and you've kept me alive since then, a thing I couldn't do on my own, and can't repay. It's not enough in itself to make me love you, although I am very grateful. I love you because you are kind, warm, and gentle. I don't want to be apart from you."

It's too much for me, to hear those words that fill me and chase away the fear of having her hate me or worse to leave me. My hand reaches for Noriko, taking hold of her arm and pulling her close to me. "We'll need to leave the others and go into hiding alone again. They want to do good things that we would bring trouble on, now that we're discovered."

She nods, understanding. I am drowning in her and her words. I lean down close to her, and her hair is soft on my hand that slides into it at the back of her head. "Noriko, will you come with me and love me, and let me love you?"

"Yes." Her word is breathed on my lips as they touch hers softly. She returns the kiss and I am lost in her warmth and love so much so that I can barely breathe, but her warm arms and her promise hold me anchored to hope and light. Silent tears of relief drip from my eyes.

I tuck away the bright red blush on her face to enjoy and savor later as well. Right now I need the gift of peace she is giving me.


	25. Interlude

Noriko insists that we must return to Zena's house and properly give our regrets. She must hold my hand - literally and figuratively - because I wish to run and not face them and what happened in that house. Banadam was already out of the house, the rest saw the horrible things done.

I can see the fear and questions on their faces and it takes everything I have to not flee, nor to let anything show on my face. They don't ask. I think they don't really want to know. I quickly disappear into the room I was in to collect my things, and then, because they're talking to Noriko, I go and collect hers.

Like I let her talk to Tazasheena, I let her talk here. She's unafraid to face them, and her words (I'm leaving the bedroom doors open so I can hear them and the holes in the walls besides make it simpler) are like they were with Tazasheena. They satisfy the minds of the listeners, but don't give them the full answers that would admit what we are. She doesn't lie, but she does point to other things and possibilities, so they don't have only the one thing to claim. It's enough to keep their mouth's closed by the time I return with our bags.

Based on her words and what I wish to do to help them, now that I can't with my strength, I've decided what I'll do. I hand Noriko her and my travel bags. The bags of gold I won from Nada are in two travel bags slung over my shoulder. I open the one resting on my chest and pull out two bags of gold and hand them to Noriko. "Please divide these in half for me." She sets them on the low table in the middle of the room, kneels, and opens the first one.

I address the people in the room. "Because we're now twice fugitives, we'll only bring more trouble to your efforts than it's worth. Instead we'll try to draw them away from here, so when you leave it looks like you did only leave the city the way they were trying to make you leave, Zena. Because they'll be looking only for us, they won't go looking for you as you try to do your good works."

Trying to keep to the spirit of Noriko's wishes, I choose to face each person, rather than drop bags on the table and run, which would be cold. I pull out two more bags of gold and take them to Agol and Barago. I face them as the manor lord they chose to see me and tease me as: with kind but firm requirement regardless of what their minds and hearts hold. I hold out one bag to each of them. "Please see that Zena and Duke Jeida are protected as they take their travels."

I pull out another bag and hand it to Agol. "Give this to Duke Jeida when you get to him. And give one pile each from what Noriko is making to his sons. If each of you can take care of yourselves until you reach your goals, you'll be able to focus on them."

I turn to Banadam, "One of those piles is also for you." I point to the table. He thanks me quietly. Likely the others still haven't told him what they saw, then. He'll learn eventually.

I turn to Zena. "Thank you very much for hosting us. I'm sorry we brought trouble to your home. Please take the final half-bag of gold to see to you and your ladies. I'm sorry it isn't more, but I must save the rest to see that Noriko and I aren't discovered. Every job I take is a risk we'll be found."

"Stay safely hidden," she answers me. Because she has the hope that the future isn't set in stone, she can wish with me that somehow we can change the prophecy. "The house has only seen more of the destruction they were already throwing at me. I won't need it now, and Tazasheena wanted it for herself anyway. She can have it in the condition she likes it best." She gives a small cynical smile.

"I will hope she enjoys the breeze, then," I say back. She catches the humor and smiles.

I turn to Gaya finally. I don't want to see her face, but I still must face her properly. She's confused, worried, uncertain, but when I open my mouth, she moves to fling her arms around my neck, and tears are in her eyes. "Please take care of yourself, Izark. I will miss you both." I give her a gentle squeeze around her shoulder, as my other arms is balancing the gold from falling off my shoulder and it would be too heavy to have fall on her feet.

"I will," I promise. "You also. And please also take care of your sister and Duke Jeida. They want to do a good work and you are strong." She squeezes me tightly as she nods, and then lets me go. I pull out one bag of gold and hand it to her. "Take this, and also the wagon and its horse. You will have more need of it than we will. A single horse is sufficient for us."

"Then take my horse," she says immediately.

I shake my head. "You'll still need that one. You're adding Zena and her girls, and you need to ride to defend the wagon. If you all end up with extra horses in the end, sell them and use the gold for your works. I have enough to buy one more, then I'll need to save the rest."

The bag I've been taking gold from is very light now. When we're done with buying what we need to travel, I'll have only one travel bag of gold left. The purchase of the wagon and all the horses, plus the rent for the house and all of our purchases during Noriko's convalescence came from the other bags of gold in the first one.

Noriko rises to her feet, leaving the empty bags there so they can use them, although they'll have to find two more. I move to stand with her again. She bows. "Thank you for taking such good care of us, and particularly me while I was recovering. Please give my kind regards to Duke Jeida." I nod, also wishing for them to do that.

As we turn to go, Zena rubs the back of her head. "Ah...I'm still not really sure what I saw when you two first came to my home, but what I remember is seeing darkness at first, when Rontarna said your name, Izark, and then when he said Noriko's there was a ringing and a brilliant white light. It made me so surprised, but felt so warm that when it went away I was very sad." She looks me in the eyes soberly. "Keep Noriko by your side."

"I intend to," I answer back. "Thank you. That's more than any other seer has seen." She pinks up and looks pleased.

Noriko takes my hand and squeezes it. I glance at her and she gives me a kind smile that says to keep trying to hope. We say goodbye and leave the house, still hand in hand, Noriko again helping me to walk instead of run away.

I'm grateful that they were all willing to face me courageously and not with open fear. I hope their journey proves fruitful and good men are brought together again so they can affect good changes for this world that's falling into evil darkness.

-o-o-o-

Noriko convinced me that the city would be in such an uproar that they wouldn't even think of looking for us to be wandering in the market. She believes Tazasheena left the city she was so afraid for her life. If I had to I could have carried Noriko and run from the city by rooftop. We weren't discovered.

She does know large cities well. She was actually quite comfortable shopping along the large busy market street. I let her do the negotiating while I kept my eyes on the people in the street, keeping watch over us both, so that I could be more comfortable.

Once we had our supplies, which refilled the bag that I'd emptied, we left through the city gate that seemed least guarded - the busiest one as if the rumored monster would flee only out of the back gates. Noriko smiled and commented that it was so story-book to make that assumption so it was obviously easier to walk out the front gate.

I thought she was rather clever, though, since I would have tried to flee out the back gate if she had let me do what I wanted to do from the beginning. We'd taken long enough even the guards at the gate that did cursorily examine us didn't believe the monster was in the city any more.

The rumors in the market were still only that. Most people were simply confused, not understanding why the temple had collapsed, nor what the real cause was. Everyone who'd seen me in my fully human form was buried in the temple or missing (the city was assuming Tazasheena was also buried). The two guards who'd seen me and run had seen the monster form and blue hair, not black, so that was the description being asked for by those guards who are seeking me.

I was quite relieved they'd not seen the final two demon forms. I'm not sure the strong guards had either. I think I changed into them after I collapsed the roof over them. While that's a little concerning since part of the description is similar enough to the fully human me, perhaps it will mean that they'll only continue to think of me as a monster hidden in the form of man, rather than as the Sky Demon. None of the rumors contain that whisper yet, although men will begin eventually to assume it.

If only Tazasheena saw the Sky Demon in her scrying then we only need to fear what she can do - and I do. Greatly. She may be able to find us again now that she knows our names and essences. I can only keep us on the move and practice and hope I'm strong enough before she finds an ally wealthy enough to buy her information.

As the list of potentials is nearly endless, we may have a long time, if she's intelligent enough to get them to bicker and bid each other up. But then ...she is a seer. She only has to scry to know who's the buyer, so maybe not. Depressing. Why did it have to be a seer?

I wanted to know that the others got away safely as well, so after we purchased a horse that's sturdy enough to carry us both and all of our bags, including the gold, I took it and her for a walk around the city wall, none of us riding but the bags. This time I'll need to remember to do that every day so that Noriko's feet can toughen up. If we lose the horse again, she needs to be able to walk without me worrying. Every time we start trying, something prevents it again. Not that I mind pampering her. It's that we need to be ready for all eventualities.

I found a place near the gate I knew our companions would be leaving from that was hidden enough that we might look like two trysting lovers escaping work if we were seen while we waited to follow them, and then had fun being that. Well, sort of. I was too worried to have very much fun with it, other than deep inside since that was what I wanted us to look like. I spent the time worrying over things, like, _If I had left with Noriko when I had first felt the urge to walk alone with her again, would any of this worry over Tazasheena been brought on us?_

When I finally had to air that one so it would leave me alone, Noriko worked her skills and put it to rest for me. "If Tazasheena was a seer, and Lord Silent Mask wanted me, and they knew to find me way out there at the house, then wouldn't they have found us wherever we were?"

Logic may work to remove worries, but it as often leaves behind gloom as hope, I'm finding. That one left enough gloom I had to pull her closer and rest my head against hers so I could feel her soft hair on my cheek.

As the breath from my nostrils passed over her ear, it began to get hot and then I did have to smile. She'd reminded me in that moment of one of the reasons I'd been wanting us to be traveling alone again. "Thank you, Noriko, for returning my feelings," I quietly and sincerely said in her ear. The rest of her bloomed very hot rather suddenly.

She managed to say mostly calmly, "You're welcome, Izark." Then she forced the embarrassment down. "I'm sorry I couldn't return it because I was so worried. Thank you for helping me see how I can choose to love you so I can. I really do, you know." The blush returned and I could only take her in my arms and hold her close to me.

"Thank you." It barely made it out around the lump in my throat. It's more meaningful to me than she knows.

I am sincere, but it's a delight to me that I can make Noriko and the Teacher both blush. To make her squirm makes me laugh, and when she must completely give in to my wooing and only be the woman who loves to be loved then I am satisfied.

That night was another night of squirming embarrassment for her, but it was bad enough I only smiled, and then helped her set it to rest. Having proper boundaries set is important for both of us. I also don't want to tread where I shouldn't. Even if her family isn't here on this planet for me to speak to them, I still owe them respect for their love and concern for her that they surely have even still. I would want to be able to face her father and brother honorably if I were ever to meet them.

I also didn't want to destroy on the first night the gift I'd finally been given. Having her return my love with the open admission that she really does love me, too (ah, I blush myself to put it so obviously), makes me more than happy. Having her beside me willingly so that she's relaxed again is fulfilling enough. Being able to hold her hand, touch her hair, or hold her in my arms when I need to without her flinching or me being afraid is helping me relax in ways I was never able to relax before. The stones in my gut melt slowly away each day.

I've been using the time we travel together to ask the questions that built up while we were with the others. My first one is the one that was most troublesome that day. _Why do I have times of weakness?_ And in particular, _Why did it strike then?_

We discussed the possibilities for likely an hour. I told her what I had thought it was. She agreed that my initial reasoning would be what she would think, too, but in the end neither one of us had a satisfactory answer, because of the "outlier", the final "data point" that was so odd, there in Selena, Guzena.

Noriko apologized, saying that at only seventeen she still had at least another five years of schooling to do, and she still might have not studied what I needed to be able to answer that question. Her best guess was that there might be another [chemical] in my body that affects it, or that it might be related to a certain mix of strong emotions. She promised to research it for me later if I wanted, and my assignment is to continue to pay attention to what happens so that I can perhaps add more clues as it may happen in the future.

It's a bit frustrating to not have a ready answer, but I can't blame Noriko. I'm lucky she's been able to answer the questions she has been able to answer, and grateful as well. If we can learn this one together, then I'm also grateful to have a research partner who has the strength of the Teacher. The Teacher was able to reason out for herself that I wasn't destined to have to become evil. That's a skill I appreciate that she has.

The other thing I've been wanting to do is learn even more about who the Awakening is. She's willing to answer many questions very openly. Her world sounds very strange and mythical, but everything has been reasoned by the minds of men and created by them. She becomes animated when she talks about how it would be so simple to teach even the small ideas to the people here and great things would come about from it. I think she will have to slow down and wait for everyone else to catch up to her.

She tells me about herself, often while blushing, sometimes with resignation when it's her weaknesses. She'll tell me about her schooling, her friends, and what she enjoyed doing on her planet. But she won't tell me about her family. When I try to ask, gently, she'll go very quiet and sad.

One day something else we were talking about made her sad enough to turn away and I asked why. She only said it had made her remember her mother. As she walked away from me to recover she began to disappear as if she was walking away from me to return to her world and family.

I immediately panicked and leaped the short distance to grab hold of her, crying out her name. She turned to me, suddenly solid again, very surprised, as if she hadn't noticed it was happening. When she asked me what it was, I only could hold her in my arms and tell her I was sorry to make her sad, and beg her not to leave me. I was frightened for several days after.

It's hard to know when something we talk about will bring up memories of home when I can't even know about the people she loves. But if she'll leave me for being so sad for them, then I won't ask. Some day perhaps she'll not be so sad for them and then I'll be able to hear her stories.

I tell her my past, however. Given how much I wish to know hers, I'm sure she feels that way about me. It's hard to talk about my past because it was so painful, but she is kind and gently holds my hand or places her hand on my knee to comfort those pains. She's here now to love me and that fills those painful places, and it wasn't all bad.

Once she knows of the most painful part, we're able to move on and I can tell the stories of when I wandered with the caravans. There are many entertaining stories of that time and she listens to them with delight on her face. I like to hear her laugh and often her wry comments echo my own sentiments from those times. I'm delighted when she learns my brand of humor. Then she laughs more frequently.

-o-o-o-

Three months after leaving our companions, we arrive in a town nestled in the bend of a river. We're in need of supplies again. Noriko wishes to have new handwork to do to keep her hands busy while we ride. I need to resupply a few herbs, foodstuffs, and stop at a blacksmith to have my sword looked at. There's only one problem. It's apparently festival time in the city and all the inns are full. We even had troubles finding a stall to rent for the horse for one night.

I'm concerned. The sense that a demon has focused its attention on us has been building inside me. It's making me nervous about being here, but for some time there haven't been any places to purchase the few things that only larger towns have. As we walk through the busy streets, Noriko's feet slow. I look at her, knowing she's used to more than this. She's looking drawn and pale.

The closest place to have her sit out of the way is on a short pillar to the side of a set of stairs that lead up to a central high platform. I put my hand to her forehead and she has a slightly elevated temperature. Because of her disease, even that much worries me. We'll need to see it taken care of right away. Not wanting her to use more energy than she should, I tell her to wait there while I find something for her to eat. There's a fresh fruit that can help with this.

I've barely made it to where I can smell the food part of the market when Noriko is contacting me. "_Izark, please come explain I'm not a show girl to an idiot._"

Already nervous and concerned, I move very quickly, up to the rooftops, running and only pausing long enough to find her in the crowd. She's being dragged by the arm by a man who's striding along purposely. She's pulling back against him. A woman is on the ground just behind them and Noriko is talking to her.

I'm next to them in one leap. I pick the man up by the front of his jacket and toss him (gently) nine feet. "What are you doing!?"

Noriko explains that he just assumed she was looking for work and was taking her off to "give her a job". I know full well there are other things that go on when that's used to capture a young, defenseless woman. I scowl at him fiercely. The man stammers out an apology, getting to his feet quickly to run off.

Noriko turns to the woman on the ground, not much older than her. "Thank you. Are you okay? I'm sorry you got injured for your troubles."

The woman is holding the side of her face, where a bruise is already forming. "Please, come stay at my family's home. I'm sure you don't have anywhere else to go, what with the Flower Festival coming up. My name is Ninya and my mother is the mayor of this town. We could really use your help." I hold out my hand for hers and help her stand all through this rush of words.

"Help with what?" I ask her politely, while making sure I have Noriko close so we don't have another unexpected incident.

"For the festival, we perform a ritual that requires a man with great athletic ability. My husband broke his foot, otherwise it would be him. We need someone to replace him, and I just saw you leap to a roof and back down again...and you look almost exactly like my husband, except a little taller.

"Please come and consider it. We would be happy to pay you room and board for it, at least. It isn't difficult and it is brief." She's been pulling on us, leading us towards a building not too far from the raised pavilion, all while talking. It would be a simple answer to our needs, and I do want Noriko to rest as soon as possible. If we can get out of the press of people, that would be good.

Ninya continues with her explanation, "It's the Flower Festival, and for political reasons, we really need to have the festival go forward and be a success. My mother refuses to bribe the regional government officials. They've been sabotaging the festival, and even have a seer that claims the festival will fail because the gods are not pleased with the city.

"That will damage the industry of the city, which will make the city poorer. My mother wants to prevent that as much as possible. Flowers and perfumes are all this distant city has to offer to the rest of the world. If that is defamed, the whole city will dry up and blow away."

We're at the house and she's opening up the door for us, looking expectant. Noriko looks at me and shrugs. Noriko needs to rest and Ninya was injured because she went to the defense of Noriko, a stranger. We can probably trust her to have good intentions. "I'll listen to what it is I would need to do. Noriko needs a place to rest comfortably, but we can't stay long."

Ninya claps her hands together. "That's wonderful! Please come in. I'll introduce you to my husband and the master of ceremonies and they can tell you the details."

Her husband, Kizak, and I are similar, both of us being slim (I am taller by just a little), and having straight black hair. When I walk into the room with his wife, he's very concerned about her but she blows it off and introduces us. Once I've heard what's required, I agree to take on the job. It does require sufficient athletic skill, but I should be able to do it fine, and I'll get to wear a mask and the annual costume.

Ninya excuses herself and Noriko to take Noriko to a bedroom since I want Noriko to lie down and rest. Noriko says she'll poultice the bruising. I'm sure they'll have a girl chat, since Ninya seems that kind, but that's an acceptable exchange, as long as Noriko does rest soon. I've asked that part of the payment be room and board, and also that they protect Noriko for me, and for just enough coin to cover the purchases we came into town to make.

I'm fitted by the the master of ceremonies with the costume. They're relieved they won't have to modify it. When I notice Noriko looking at me from the bedroom, I scold her because that isn't resting. It takes energy to do that, even if we have been practicing while on the road. She sniffs at me, but does soon stop to rest properly.

Kizak was a wandering swordsman before he met Ninya, married her, and settled down. He looks at me knowingly and warns me that I, too, will one day want to settle down and act properly responsible. He sounds like an older cousin, or perhaps young uncle, giving me advice and warning but not pushing me. I suppose it's good to hear words like that, even if I already know.

They take me out to practice getting the large basket from the starting point on the other side of the river to the ending point at the platform I had Noriko rest at. It isn't difficult. Tomorrow morning they'll fill the basket with flowers. I'll slide with it down two sets of cables over the river gorge to the platform.

At the end of the cables, the basket turns and the flowers fall out of it to fall over the square. People who catch a flower will traditionally have good luck for the year, or their wish granted if they have one. The entire afternoon after that starting ceremony is spent celebrating, including dancing, entertainment, food, and games. Apparently there will be a number of games specifically created for women, since this is an industry mostly directed towards them.

At the twist of the basket, I have to let it go at the right time and land on the platform so that I don't fall off the wagon (not that I would). I'm already well past the river gorge over the land of the city, so that part doesn't cause me any concern. Only if the cables break while I'm over the gorge might there be any problems. I inspect the cables as we take the basket back over the river gorge to the starting point for another practice run, but they look in sufficient repair.

The job will be brief: two nights and then we'll be going again. I'm worried because of the sense of another demon watching us, but until it shows signs of itself I can't do anything about it. I'll just be watchful and wary and we'll see.

-o-o-o-

The crowd of people come to participate in the Flower Festival fills the square around the pavilion and beyond. All are waiting for the opening of the Flower Festival. The signal is given and I kick off, pushing the wagon-sized basket full of flowers to get it started down the cables.

I'm paying attention, listening to and tasting the wind. My eyes look back most frequently to Noriko. She was very happy to get to wear one of the traditional costumes of the women of this town. She told me this morning as she put it on that she has always loved traditional clothing of many cultures. She also greatly appreciated my costume. As she likes to tease me like I like to tease her, I was glad I had the excuse of putting on my mask to cover the flush of pleasure her words gave me.

About half-way across the river gorge I feel an odd jerk, that becomes a slow sagging. The wind brings to my ears a few small pops, and then with a snap that cable separates and flings out of the traces on that side of the basket. I fall, still holding on to the side of the basket. There's a jerk and the basket swings, losing the flowers into the gorge while I dangle from one hand. My grip is firm, so I'm not worried for my own safety. If both cables had broken I would be.

This isn't just an accident that will make people sad for this year's festival. There are a lot of politics behind it. This festival needs to succeed, and I feel that is part of the job I accepted. I call up the wind to come down the river gorge. The narrow channel will make it come more strongly.

It comes swooshing up the canyon from below me to blow the flowers up into the air. I have it dance sinuously above me to swirl the flowers over the square. The wind blows the basket up and I trade places easily so that I'll be able to properly drop off at the turn at the end...since the basket hasn't stopped moving forward just because the one cable broke.

As I drop to the floor of the pavilion, Noriko is running to greet me. Both of us are worried that what I did to help make the opening of the festival successful will bring those who are seeking us. I didn't use much of my power, but it was still enough to give off my signature to a seer, and several are likely watching this to let political enemies of the mayor know if their scheme to ruin the festival worked.

"Look! A rainbow!" The flowers have been falling all over the open square and people have been catching them, so they're looking up towards the sky.

Their cries surprise me, but I remember feeling the mist of the water of the river in the wind. "_The water stirred up with my wind to save the flowers must have risen up to create the rainbow,_" I say to Noriko.

Noriko and I look at the beautiful rainbow as all the attendees declare this festival more than successful. I've at least done well to meet my obligation.

Noriko says to me, "_Izark, it's beautiful. What a wonderfully kind gift to give this city. I hope they have success this year. Once again you have been used for good in this world. The addition of the rainbow makes it almost feel like whatever's trying to help you be a force for good is giving you a sign as well - that it exists and is still watching over us._"

I take Noriko's hand in mine. She always sees things in a positive way. I'm not sure, but I'd like it to be that. "_I hope so. Something's coming, something not good. I've been more anxious than normal. If this is a sign to encourage me for that time, then I'll try to remember it - that something beautiful can come out of adversity._"

Noriko squeezes my hand. I'll do my best to keep her protected. I will hope whatever brought us together will help me.


	26. Living Nightmare

I was worried before, but now my fear spikes. Noriko's legs and feet are disappearing into a second area of warped space as if she's being carried. She's fighting, kicking, but she must have others holding her who found her in her hiding place. As her feet are all I can see, I'm slammed by a fast series of powerful energy attacks because I stopped paying attention to Keimos. He arrived through one of those as well, from above us in the air.

I _must_ get to Noriko and if that space closes I may not be able to. They just took her so far from me I can't feel her. I turn and with the power of my fear, although I try to temper the emotion, I slam Keimos with the hardest attack I have until this time. Until now, I was staying in control. That's sufficient to be able to put him down long enough I can get to the warped space and through it.

I find myself in a strange building. Heavy, the air here hasn't moved in centuries, as if earth has swallowed it up. It will be hard for me to use my skills here. Large roots cover the walls, floor, and ceiling, and have caused them to crack and crumble, but haven't destroyed this place.

Here, I can feel the massive presence of the demon who's been waiting to confront me. Even though it's hiding, and trying to dampen its presence, it's too old, too large to completely hide. I swallow and look around for Noriko. I can feel her again, but faintly, only enough to know she's alive. I don't see her.

Rather, I see another man here. I freeze just briefly. I can sense a strong aura around him. He could be my older brother. Long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, expensive robes but finely tailored, not excessive. He's likely what Noriko would call beautiful, but his pride repels me. That reminds me of Tazasheena. She would come and sell her information to someone like this, someone who she would match. That makes me angry, but because I'm afraid.

"She's gone. We've sent her away," the man says calmly, knowing what I'm searching for. At least he'll tell me Noriko's still alive, for now.

"Where did you send her?" I ask. He refuses to tell me. I move and he makes a sweeping motion with his arm. I slam into a barrier and use the force against me to leap back and land on my feet. I'm even warier now. He's not a warrior, but he can control energy. Likely earth energy given how strong that was and the place we're in. Is it possible he's the one that saved Keimos and made him so much stronger? _...Have I entered the stronghold of my enemy from the beginning?_

Speaking of the devil, I feel Keimos arriving behind me through the warped space Noriko and I came through. He finally recovered, then. As he steps through what is a wall in this place, a third man, hunched and old, and every bit a seer does something to make the warped space at the wall disappear. _Did they take Noriko through another space like that and remove it?_ I'll have to find my way out of here by another exit.

The first man I saw in this place chuckles and I turn to look at him again. With cruel delight, he tells me, "Now you're my captive. The long predicted moment has finally arrived, Izark." With quiet conviction he says, "You will transform into the Sky Demon here as you resonate with the power of this place."

"You can't make me become the Sky Demon!" With a glare I send an attack filled with both my sudden burst of fear and all the conviction I hold of the belief that I can make my destiny.

He holds up his hand and my attack slams into another energy barrier he put up. Damage is done to the floor and building, enough I know he's very powerful, but not enough as what should have been done to it. I have the temple in Selina, Guzena, to compare it to. The power in this place has seeped into the structure itself.

"Keimos!" the man orders and I'm defending myself again.

Keimos moves so fast that his first blow hits me and I fly back, but as soon as I land I'm leaping into the air so that his second punch hits the floor only. The power of his blows is even greater here than at the place outside of the flower town where he first confronted me. And, like me, he's transformed physically each time the power he uses increases. I'm confused by that. I don't think he's turned into a demon, nor does a demon control him in the same way I've seen them work before.

Like most prideful men on the edge of gaining what they want, the man in control here cries out to me, as if to weaken my will and convince me to his side, "It's your destiny, Izark! Haven't you noticed the world transforming? The power of this place is causing the changes! You're just a tiny part of the transformation! Accept your destiny, Izark!"

Keimos is after me again. I push him back with an energy attack that includes the sparks that warn me that I'm about to the limit of what I can control. Or what I could. I hold on to the desperation of my soul and the practicing I've been doing. This time, I should be able to control it at least a half-step more. _Only __I__ control my destiny!_

As Keimos is blown back, this time I look for escape and ignore the man who wants to own me. This room is large and square with central openings above and below as if this was an atrium area. I go up to the next level's balcony. On the way up, the throb of pain that accompanied this level last time strikes me and I gasp.

By the time I'm up on the railing, my bandana is falling behind me, split in the center again. I'm glad I put on one of my older bandanas, not Noriko's embroidered one. I'm just as happy to leave it behind and not face Keimos for a while. I need to find the way out.

I put my clawed hand to my head, but I've only split the bandanna and my forehead. The horn hasn't arrived yet. I can hold it at this level, but the power here must have affected me. I didn't intend to go to this level.

With an explosion, Keimos is back up on his feet again, and he's transformed physically again, to another level higher. _My attacks don't do enough damage. He's too strong._ How long can he match me? How much power has this place and that person given him...or rather the demon?

That's a strong demon. I'll have to assume Keimos can match me for a long time. Escape is now a requirement. The longer I have to defend myself against him, the weaker I'll become against the Sky Demon inside of me.

As Keimos heads for me again, I leap off the balcony railing and head down a hallway, trying to gather up enough air energy to form a wind that will tell me where an exit to the surface is. It was like this in the cave system when I took Noriko from the Sea of Trees.

I try to reach her again, "_Noriko!_"

"_Izark! ...Izark._" I hear her voice, but it's so faint, so distant. She must be as desperate as I am.

I hear my name again, but much louder and from behind me. Keimos demands I face him again; it is his challenge. I keep running, calling the wind to me, as faint as it is. _Where is the way out?_

-o-o-o-

Noriko came to me this morning, frantic. "Izark, the mayor says that the Source of All Evil has begun to move. She's been with the seer all night. Everyone is concerned."

"We're leaving," I'd just finished tying my second boot on. I grabbed up our bags and we only stopped long enough to thank our hosts and leave. We ran to pick up the horse from the stable and my hands shook as I saddled it. I had to pause to take a deep breath before I helped Noriko onto the horse. Holding her helped me to get back to some level of stability. We'd only made it into the hills above the flower town when Keimos appeared in the sky above us, frightening the horse badly.

To have Noriko name the demon I'd felt increase in power the evening before with that name had shaken me badly. I'd felt a pain in my back that evening and checked it early this morning in front of a mirror when no one else was awake. The scales in the center of my back had returned rather suddenly and painfully - perhaps at the moment the seers knew the Source of All Evil had begun to move.

When Noriko came to me in the temple and saved me from the final form of the Sky Demon, all of the scales on my body disappeared. Even those on my back and arms that I had from childhood. This demon can affect me without me even knowing it. What is it's power?

Noriko says that my changes are brought about by fear and anger. The evil being done all over the world is increasing the fear of the good people of the world by strong emotions of anger and greed in others. Demons feed on those kinds of emotions. Has this demon finally eaten enough from all over the world to believe it now has the strength to defeat me, and through my own anger and fear? I draw in a sharp breath. If I want to live through this, I'll have to control those as much as possible. That will be difficult.

As I leap down another hallway to my right, still seeking the way out, I dodge Keimos' attack at the same time. The attack shatters chunks of marble from the end of the hallway I just left. I take in a deep breath and set my worry for Noriko aside. It doesn't sound like the man wants to kill her just yet. She's strong and has her own skills and courage. I'll trust her to take care of herself for now.

Just that much calms me enough that I attack Keimos to keep him back again. Still, the tear in my forehead opens a little more. I turn and keep moving, but I've run to a dead end. I press my hands against the wall, frustrated, wishing I could push it down like I pushed down the wall in the caves so we could exit them. One more time I reach for the wind and am finally rewarded with the scent of not just dust, ancient dirt, and tree roots, but also wet earth and faintly - fresh air.

I spin around, looking for the opening. I find it - a small square in the wall as if a vent to a roof or other surface - behind Keimos. His look is triumphant and mocking. So are his words. He gathers energy, more than ever before.

Without me wanting it, my body throbs again and it wants to change. I'm able to hold it like I held the painful transformations before, but the Sky Demon is straining to be let out. I'll have to fight myself as much as Keimos, and it would be far better to simply defend myself from Keimos than actually fight him. Then I'll be able to focus my energy on fighting the Sky Demon.

As his attack comes at me, I'm up on the wall, and running along it above the energy fireball that slams into the wall at the dead end with a great crashing. I'm unable to get through the hole to the surface then. Keimos is already waiting for me.

Our energy shields clash as he uses his to attack me and mine. I hold it, needing him to stay at a distance, while I run down the wall of the hallway. I'll have to break free and double back, but in these hallways it may not be possible. Still, I look for the path to take to save myself, and save the world.

-o-o-o-

Once again I have no choice but to attack Keimos to get him to back off, to give myself time to breathe, to give my body time to heal. His attacks are doing damage now, and he broke my arm when he got his hands on me.

The horn rips through almost as soon as the attack has left my hands. It's as painful as always when I'm not in control of it because it's too sudden. That blinds me temporarily, but we're almost to the large atrium again - really not where I wanted to be herded back to. _Can I find another hallway on the other side and go around again?_

I hear Keimos chuckling behind me, but ignore it. There's a low rumble, and then Keimos is laughing. As his laughter increases into a full exultant sound, I can hear things around me ripping and the heavy air in this place is being stirred, but not by wind.

I leap down a broad staircase and find I'm in a different atrium than the one I was in originally. I don't know where this is. I hope I can find the exit again. There's motion around me and I stare in surprise as the roots that cover this place rip out from the wall and ceiling and move as if living things. _There's a plant energy?_ I hadn't thought there was one. _Or is it part of earth energy?_

The large roots, as large as the roots in the Sea of Trees and larger because of their age, begin to attack me. They have a lot of power as well, and there are so many that I have a hard time dodging the attacks that want to slam me to the ground and pin me down. I'm tiring, having to dodge them, and having fought so hard already. Everything I have is focused on not turning into the Sky Demon now.

Keimos yells at me, telling me I have no hope, but his voice barely registers. I head for space where the roots are smaller, trying to hold on to the one thought that there is an escape, but I can barely remember what that escape is or where. I only know I'm searching for it. The Sky Demon will take control soon.

Pain shoots through me as a tapered tree root slams into me, spearing me, and my body is frozen in shock. To draw in a breath is excruciating. The root lifts me into the air and slams into a root large enough to be a narrow bed for me, pinning me. Keimos' cry of triumph is followed by more smaller tree roots slamming into me to pin me more closely to the large root behind me. Both shoulders, an arm, a leg, my core yet again.

I try to draw on my strength to destroy the roots and instead Keimos' energy attack, as great as the one I used against the woman who told me that Noriko would be sacrificed for her blood, slams into me. I'm able to hold the shield for a time, then my energy is too sapped and his attack breaks through.

I scream as blood sprays out of the wounds and then is expelled out of my mouth. The total overwhelming pain adds to the almost lost state I was already in, but I can no longer draw on any strength or energy. I have nothing left. Slowly the physical changes on me fade and I'm again only human in form. The body gives up, but inside there is still me, I still cannot die.

Keimos is no longer worried and approaches me to grab me by the hair and gloat in my face. "You don't look so good, Izark. I'm impressed that you're still alive, though. You are a real monster. Now you know that you were born only to be used by humans. You don't deserve to have free will, monster."

To go along with the rumble of the enlivened roots, there is now a calling sound. "Hey, you hear that?" Keimos points it out, "It's calling you. Ready? From now on, you serve us." The roots begin to move, to take us from here to where they want me to be.

I glare at him. With my lungs not functional, there's no talking. I'm not dead, so I still haven't given in to them yet. I don't know what they can do to me. Perhaps the demon can take over my body, but as long as there is me in here, I will not become the Sky Demon. I've decided it.

I close my eyes. _What can I do?_ Holding still is resting. The roots still in me make it difficult to heal, but the energy damage done after that is healing already. If all I can do is heal, then that's what I'll do.

"_Izark! Izark!_" It's Noriko and she sounds closer, clearer. Then I'm seeing her. She's kneeling next to a man flat on his stomach, holding his hand and crying. He has two of the animals sitting on his back that can transport people through space.

_Did she escape?_ The thought she's coming _here_ frightens me again. _Don't. Don't come here. Here is too dangerous. Stay free. Run and flee._ I hurt, though. Never has she done that once. Always she's come to me anyway, regardless of the danger to her. It's always been to my blessing. _Why? Why does she come? Why does she love me, a monster?_

As I watch Noriko, she looks up from the man and into the air above her. It looks like she's talking to someone. _Is there another spirit helping her?_ With a nod, she lets go of the man and he sits up, then rises to his feet. Noriko stands and they hold hands again, then are gone. Then I see her again. This time above a hole in the ground and I can feel she's very close. That man and the spirit have brought her here.

As she thanks them and then prepares to enter the hole, I cry out, "_No, Noriko! Don't come. Stay free!_" But she doesn't hear me.

This time I hear her. "It's okay, I won't be alone because I'll be with Izark." Her smile radiates her warmth and love. She enters the hole and I lose the vision. But I remember her. I remember her love, her faith in my goodness, her tender warmth.

_What does she see when she looks at me? What does she love?_ I try to see it, what she sees, and deep inside of me I discover something I hadn't looked at before.

I've never honestly looked at myself. I've believed what people have told me and run from it. I've hated and feared what I am, but I am what I am. I have love for my friends and the beauty of nature. Noriko healed my lonely soul and I was able to smile and laugh again.

If I'm only a demon of destruction, then where do these emotions come from? If I'm a monster, how can I have any human emotions at all? In my eyes as a child, I understood I was as human as everyone around me. Why did I believe their words to the contrary? _What am I?_

The hand of my unpinned arm flinches as muscles are repaired. I only need to have the roots gone and I'll be able to be whole again. "Drop him, Keimos! Drop him from the tree. He will be taken by that great power and he'll become the Sky Demon! He will make us the rulers of the whole planet!"

_Not._ Not even that man can make that choice for me. _Yes, do drop me. I'll finish healing and fight even the Source of All Evil to not become what it wants me to become. I can love and I do love. I choose to protect this planet. I am not the Sky Demon of the prophecy!_

The very words well up as a strong force from within my core and I can feel that power healing me, as if it's the source of my healing. The demon below me is suddenly disturbed, but I don't care. It should be.

"Izark!" My eyes snap open and Noriko is above me. _Sigh._ She's jumped again without thought, her only thought that she must be with me.

The power that's within me surges out, powerful but gentle. I reach out my arms and catch Noriko, holding her closely to me, glad she's finally in my arms again. I look upward and with a thought we're flying upward with great speed. My shield is strong and punches through the building we're in until it's gone, far below us.

I look around and find a place far enough away to reach and hide in, although it's still in the woods around the buried building. I haven't much time. The healing is quick and I need to be on the ground.

I settle us gently to the ground, making sure Noriko is stable on her feet, then my body is collapsing, coughing up the blood that pooled in my lungs and stomach. Once that's out, then the final rebuilding of my body can happen.

"Izark! Izark! Don't die, Izark!" Noriko is panicked. She falls to her knees next to me.

I grasp hold of her wrist. "I won't," I manage to gasp out, air finally being available to my lungs. She's trembling. I wish to comfort her, but my body has other ideas, and is too weak to move.

"Izark," Noriko moans miserably.

"I'm okay," I say, and then the world goes dark.


	27. Recovery

The sounds and smells of being in a forest near a campfire come to me first as I drift up to consciousness. A weight is on my forehead. My body feels heavy, weak, and there are aches everywhere. My breathing is odd, as if I'm trying to breathe around a few lumps of bread dough - one in each lung - but I am breathing. Somehow, I feel very fortunate.

A man's voice says, "Noriko, I'll go forage for food. Here's the water." There are sounds near me.

"Thank you, Doros," I hear from over my head. I wait until the man has gone again, then slowly open my eyes.

It's as I'd wished and hoped for. Noriko is the first thing I see as I raise my eyes. Her face is drawn, worried. "Izark," she says with the same in her voice, laced with tender hope. It's her hand that's on my forehead, and her lap is under my head. I am content to know that she is with me and we are safe for now.

"What happened?" I ask.

She bites her lip and her brows furrow. "Do you remember anything? ...No. Don't remember it. You need to rest, not feel all of that again. You'll remember it when your body's ready to remember it. I will tell you that you fought against something that wanted to turn you into the Sky Demon and you escaped. We're safe."

Little bits and pieces, flashes of memory come to me, but I don't force them. She's right. I don't want to remember them when I'm feeling this bad. But..., "How did we escape?"

At that her worry erases like the lightening of the clouds after the thunderstorm is passed. Her hand brushes my forehead lightly. "You grew wings of light - great soft feather wings. The power you had to take us out of that place was amazing. I believe it's your final level, a level of light and gentleness."

My eyes widen, staring at her. There is no way the final level of the Sky Demon is good like that. "You're lying." The words are from my lips before I know what was coming. I immediately put a hand to my mouth. The other arm doesn't move, but I'm not paying attention to that.

I move my hand from my mouth to hold it out in front of me between me and her expression. "I'm sorry," I say as contritely as possible. "I know you wouldn't. It's that surely that's impossible." My arm slumps to my chest, too weak to stay up.

"What do you remember from that time?" she asks me. I close my eyes and try to remember. "You caught me as I was falling down to reach you. They came out of your back when you looked into my eyes so that you wouldn't keep falling. One flap took us through at least two floors and the roof of the building and high into the air. The hole from that explosive exit was probably twenty feet in diameter."

I'm remembering holding her in my arms and feeling a great peaceful strength, and remembering her worry as I collapsed at her feet to expel the blood so I could finish healing, but nothing else. "I don't remember enough. But I do remember the strength. You're right that it was a good strength, not one based on anger or fear." I try to remember more, but my mind is as tired as my body. "I can't remember it." I say weakly.

"Rest. Sleep. Keep healing. Maybe you'll remember, but...maybe not. Sometimes during a traumatic situation, where survival is critical, such strengths appear and then disappear again until through your practice you learn it properly." She bends down to kiss my forehead. "I'm grateful it's there and you were able to save us. In time that can be what you are, if you want it and keep looking for it."

Her warm kiss and kind words follow me into the healing sleep I need.

-o-o-o-

The next time I wake up Noriko is sitting next to me. She looks very weary. I don't know how long I've been recovering, but it looks like she hasn't slept and needs to. Before I can say anything, she's seen me looking and she smiles at me. "Are you hungry?"

"No." I've not recovered enough yet for that, although I can tell the worst of it is over.

Noriko gives a tired nod. "Doros found some food in the forest. He's washing and preparing it now. You can let him or me know when you're hungry. We can save some for you."

I shake my head. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay." She pulls her knees up to her chest and leans on them, wrapping her arms around them. She turns her head away from me, laying it on her knees as if she'll fall asleep. I know there are likely still tears left inside her to cry. She doesn't look like she's relaxed at all. To go this long without resting or being able to relax, she must be very weary.

I reach for her, then pinch her to get her attention, making sure my expression tells her how much I need her. She jumps and looks at me in surprise. "I need to see your face, Noriko. Don't look away from me."

Surprise is on her face, then the heat slowly rises until she's blushing brightly. That's what I wanted, something to distract her from her worry. And a little reward for me.

The fighting spirit comes up in her and she gets the look on her face that says I'll get my turn. She lies down right next to me with her face right in front of mine so if I should need to see it, really, there's no getting away from it. "Is this better then?" she asks me. It's my turn to blush since to answer it I would have to admit it is and that's harder for me. She gives me her teasing grin back, taking her turn to enjoy my embarrassment.

It quickly turns back to sorrow, although it's a relaxed sorrow this time, and she sighs. "Izark, I'm glad you're the Sky Demon." She takes my hand and pulls it up to hold it close to her, as she does when she needs comfort and I won't or can't hold her in my arms. "If you weren't, you would be dead from that. I couldn't bear it if you'd died. Your powers allowed you to come back to me."

It is another, different way to look at what I am and I let it be added to the little things being changed about me. Then I remember more about the time right before she was in my arms and we were escaping. "You're right. As I was trying to understand why you were coming for me, why I was even fighting to not become the destroyer they want me to become, I learned that there is something deeper inside of me than the Sky Demon, something that loves and cares, not just something that fears or is angry.

"I was finally able to see that _something_ that will allow me to become more than just the Sky Demon. As soon as I really saw it, I felt great energy flow out of me, then I was outside with you in the woods. I want to understand what I saw then. To see it again and tap into it. I think that is the answer we are seeking."

Her face holds hope. "I hope you can soon, Izark. If it was the fifth and final stage, the stage you always want to be, then I hope you can. But if you can't even remember it, and it came under such extreme stress, it may take a long time. Sometimes a level born that way returns to being hidden until the other levels are understood and controlled well enough." Her eyes begin to close. "I will hope to see it again. It will come."

As Noriko falls asleep finally, I think that she must be very tired, to have forgotten she already told me that. It's okay to be reminded, though. Her faith in even that is encouraging.

There are the sounds of rustling and I hear the man who's been with us. "Just give me a bit, Noriko, and the food will be ready soon. ...Eh?" He's seen she's lying down, sleeping.

"It's okay, Doros. She just needs to get her own rest now," I say. He blinks at me, then a bit longer after I was expecting him to, he finally gives a nod and turns to the fire.

He's holding the front of his shirt up like an apron, large leaves peaking over the top. Likely he'll wrap those around the food he's found. I sigh. It won't be very filling. Berries, nuts, and roots, most likely. Foraging is not the best way to get energy, and I suspect Noriko will need more than that.

Surprisingly, she eats more than most people I know, unless they're wealthy and are used to buying all the food they want. Not that she overeats, it's just more than most. I didn't understand that the first few days. She didn't eat any more than we do, and sometimes a little less, but she told me it was because she was so upset. She had to relax to be able to eat. It isn't too dissimilar from when I need to recover and heal.

She said in her world food is easy to grow in quantity because they have [machines], powered tools to help them grow it. Then they have ways to transport it all over the world very fast, so people don't have to go hungry. Then she'd gotten sad. "But some countries don't care about their people. Maybe the wealthy in those countries get to eat, but they don't let their people have it. Either they won't share, or they make it too expensive because they want the money." That sounded like here, even if the machines aren't.

As Doros works on preparing the food to eat, I ask him to tell me the story of who he is and how he came to help Noriko, and thus me. It surprises me a little that he isn't afraid of me as he slowly tells the story. He knows what I am, given where he came from. But then, I am incapable of moving, so I'm not much of a threat, and the "chimos" - the animals that transport people - practically live on his shoulders, as if he's their handler, which I learn he is.

Doros bred chimos for the man who wanted to own me, Rachef. Rachef is a leader in this country, which I learn is Rienka. That makes my heart fall. We're on the east continent. Before we were brought here, we were in the middle of the west continent. Rachef reached far to capture us. It will take us a long time to get back to where we were, and we have nothing with us. The horse ran and took the bags with it. I'd thought we'd only have to fetch it once I was done fighting Keimos.

Doros tells me that Rachef killed all but these two chimos, using their blood and special ability to create the holes between spaces - a small one from the buried temple to Rachef's palace where they hid Noriko, and the large one to cross the continents and the sea. The pain in his voice as he talks about the chimos' deaths tells me he loved them and that he's more comfortable with animals than people. Likely his slow way of thinking and speaking make others place him as beneath notice.

Tazasheena did indeed go to Rachef, by boat which is why we had the time we did. The other old man I saw is Rachef's trusted seer, Gorya. The two seers worked together to create the link from here to where we were, but Tazasheena hates Gorya out of jealousy. Doros says that Noriko did fight, wanting to be with me, tried to convince them to let her go free just that much.

He gets a little smile of vindication on his face, although he's still focused on his work in front of him. "Tazasheena slapped her and Noriko kicked her flat on her backside. It was funny to see the little girl fight the queen of snobs. The men didn't let them fight after that, since they weren't supposed to let Noriko get hurt."

He gets lost in his memory and work for a bit. The first wrapped package is tossed into the coals and he begins again. "They said hurtful things to me, when I was most sad and angry. I could understand why Noriko was angry, and I could tell she was sad and worried about you. Her screams when she saw you nearly die were awful.

"When she tried so hard to get to you, even jumping from the third floor of the house, I had to help her, to show them all that they couldn't keep walking on people who tried hard and had things they cared about, too."

I'm in some shock. She _saw_ that? No wonder she's been so tense and worried. That makes me sad, and a bit worried, that she saw Keimos injure me that way. She's seen me fight now, but that doesn't mean such a thing wouldn't harm her. I reach up and place my hand gently on her head, leaving it there to comfort both of us.

I wonder if she'll ever stop jumping from high places, and just what I've done to her to addle her sense of self-preservation so much in that fall from the cliff. I'm grateful Doros was there with the chimos to catch her. "Thank you for going to so much trouble for us, Doros. I know you won't be able to go back there again."

Doros smiles as he stuffs the bowl of leaves with the food he found. "That's okay. It was my choice...I wanted to help her. I have no regrets." He works on the food for a bit. "Maybe...maybe it was the first time I did anything on my own. All my life I just wanted people to like me. I'm so slow and stupid, you know. So I tried hard to be accepted." That sounds like me and what I was thinking about as Noriko came to be with me.

"But this time, I didn't care what anybody thought. I helped Noriko without thinking. Then Noriko thanked me." He pauses and looks up at the sky, only his eyes are closed as he remembers. "How can I explain it? I felt so glad to be alive." He looks at me. "You guys made me feel that way. S-so you don't need to feel you owe me anything." The package of food goes on the fire as I ponder his words. Even if I were up and walking, he wouldn't care. He's felt Noriko's peace and has applied it by extension to me because she loves me.

I look around the clearing in the woods we're in and again am shocked. "Irktule?!" He floats over from the rock he was sitting on to hang in the air where we can see more eye to eye.

"_It's good to see you are feeling better, Izark_," he says. "_You were not okay. But you chose the light, so I've been willing to help. Anyone who will fight the Source of Evil is worthy of protection. I've been shielding you so the seers can't find you. I'll stay with you until you know what you'll do to fight him._"

"Thank you, Irktule," I say sincerely. "I don't know how long that will be. I'm still learning to control my powers and my fear. We have so much still to learn."

Irktule nods his head. "_Noriko said it might take a long time still. That's okay. It's worth it for our world to not have you broken by that evil_."

"I'm in complete agreement, Irktule. Absolute, complete agreement," I sigh. It's a little depressing to know that Rachef and the demon he's working for will continue to hunt for me until they find me again, but now that I know who they are, and how bad it will be, I don't have the worries of those unknowns sitting inside me any more. With a goal in mind, and things I can do to get there, I'm able to combat the other worries of that part of my future for now.

"We can't stay out here for long," I say. "Noriko will need real food and we both need clothing. Is there a village nearby, where we can safely show ourselves?" Irktule looks thoughtful, then turns away. He gives orders, I presume to the spirits of the White Mist Forest or others, to go hunting. Then he returns to sit on the rock. He seems just a bit flighty, but then he was never human. Who knows what trees really understand and see?

"Doros, do you have any coin? All of our supplies are on the west continent. And where is my belt?"

Doros gets up and walks to the other side of me, past Noriko. He comes back with my belt and hands it to me. I search through it until I've searched through all of my hidden storage places. Only one gold coin. That's going to be a problem. Other than that there is only the sheath of my sword.

When Keimos and I fought on the hills outside of the flower town we started as before, with energy attacks and power attacks focused through our swords. On one particularly violent clash of sword-on-sword, we landed and both swords disintegrated, practically to dust. That's why we were fighting hand to hand in the temple. I shudder just slightly, not wanting to remember the difficulty of that fight. I'll have to become a lot stronger to do that again. Strong enough to completely control the Sky Demon's power.

"I don't have any coin on me," Doros tells me, having carefully searched his own person. "I left too fast, because Noriko was falling."

"That's okay," I reassure him. "I would rather have Noriko alive. I can sell my sheath. It's a nice one. And I've got the one gold. Maybe that would be enough to get us each one set of clothing. We'll need to find work, though. She and I need to return to the west continent. I'd like to be as far away from Rachef as possible, to make it hard for him to do that again."

Doros nods. "I can help." I don't say anything but I'm grateful. I suspect that like Barago followed us, Doros will, too.

That makes me think of something. "Does Rachef know our names?"

"...Yes," Doros says.

"That will be a problem then. We need to stay hidden, and if we say our names out loud any spy will know how to find us and where we're going." Doros takes a while to work that out and nod. "Can you start practicing now calling us by other names so when we're in public we aren't given away?"

Doros nods. "I'll try hard," he promises.

"Then will you be Barago?" I wait for him to learn the name. When he seems to have it, I say, "I'm Kizak. Kizak."

Doros works at that. "It's kind of hard because they're the same."

"Well, I was hoping it would be easier because of that," I say.

When he thinks of it like that, it seems he can remember better. "And there was a little girl who we knew that Noriko liked and who liked her very much. Please call Noriko 'Geena'."

He tips his head with a little surprise. "I've heard of a Geena." When he's done with his musing, he nods. "Okay. Geena. Kizak. Barago." I nod at him and we practice the names for a bit. I'll also need to work at remembering them. We'll help Noriko with it when she wakes up, but she's the most smart of the three of us, so it will probably be easy for her.


	28. Farmers

Irktule's spirits found us a quiet farming community to hide in, even finding a family that's been willing to help us. Doros went with Irktule to ask if we can work for them and to buy clothes from them.

Their son is still living with them to help them, as they are an older couple. Their daughter got married a short while ago and lives in her husband's house. Doros is staying with them, helping them farm to earn his money. Noriko and I are staying in the daughter's old bedroom.

I'm feeling better, more normal, although I can tell my energies are still low. I'm still awake at my usual time to be awake tonight, but it feels good to just lie here with nothing to do, and nothing to worry about now that we have a roof over our heads and a bed, and something helpful to do to earn our coin. We're lucky that it's just coming on to harvest time and they can use extra arms and backs.

Noriko shifts and a small sound escapes her. She's slept each night very close to me. With a gasp, her eyes are suddenly open. I sit up slightly to see her better. "A nightmare?"

She begins to blush and rolls away from me to her side. "I'm sorry. I'll be still."

Having to see me be injured has affected her and it's coming out in nightmares. I reach around and tuck the blanket around her and give her a light kiss on the cheek to let her know she's not alone. My hand is grabbed before I can move away. "I'm sorry, Izark. I can't stop having them."

I sigh and lie down close enough to her to hold her in my arms. Slowly her trembling calms. "I'm sorry, Noriko," I say softly, wishing I could help her forget.

Noriko shakes her head. "It's my fault for looking, and picking a bad time to do it. I just wish they would go away. It's not helping me to not sleep."

All I can do is to quietly hold her so she knows that right now I'm alive and well, and so is she. Eventually she does fall asleep again. I kiss the back of her head gently, once again wishing I could give her a thing she needs that I can't give to her.

I still don't know why we're both helped by being in the other's arms. All I do know is that the peace that comes is healing. I'm glad she asked for it tonight. Last night was worrisome, and I'm quite sure she didn't sleep at all the night before.

The next morning we're up early to begin working on the farm we've come to. When I walk out of the house, the son, Evan, is talking to 'Geena'. She's putting up her hair in a short braid today to keep it out of her way. It's gotten rather long compared to the shoulder length it was the day we met. I take the tie out of her mouth and help her, being close and familiar.

Evan scowls. I hope I've sent the message early enough so he'll back off. I don't know what it is with all these young men who see us so obviously together - we even slept in the same room and bed for goodness sake - yet think they can woo her while I stand here. Noriko relaxes as he turns away. She also must be feeling the same way, given how angry she became towards Banadam.

Evan wants to make me pay after that display. He's too jealous for something he never had to begin with. He hands me two sacks of potatoes that we need to move from the packaging room to the barn. I should be able to lift them easily, but they slip from my hands and fall to the ground, nearly taking me with them. I blink in surprise. I wasn't expecting to still be so weak. "Ah, I'll just do one at a time, today."

He grumbles at me that I should be able to do the two easily, but it's rather obvious I can't today. I'm confused. I'm not feeling that weak, not like I do when I can barely stand, or when I know that the weakness is about to come on me. It's feeling a bit backwards, actually. I'm feeling a lot better than the last three days and I know I should be recovering.

When we have the potatoes moved, he takes me to join Noriko and his parents in the field. They've taught Noriko how to use the hand scythe to cut the grain. While Evan goes off to another chore, the farmer teaches me to scythe and we all work together cutting in this field where they can teach us what to do with the cut grain.

We learn how to make the sheaves, tying the cut ends. Then they're laid on poles to dry. When they're dry enough they'll be gathered again into a high-sided wagon to be taken to the threshing barn. We'll learn to do that and gather the grains into bags later, when the first cut crop is ready.

I learned to cut the grains at a normal slow pace. When I think I've got it down, I try to speed it up. The faster we can go the more grain can be cut in one day. I only managed to get about five cuts done at a faster pace before I'm so tired I have to stop and breathe to recover. I still recover rather fast, if not quite as fast I should, but I can't put out much energy at all. I slow it back down and just focus on getting the job done at whatever pace I can.

I've stopped thinking and I think I may have stopped breathing because I stumble and fall. "Ah, Kizak!" Noriko cries out.

"No, I'm fine, I just tripped." She doesn't need to worry.

"I'm sorry," Noriko says to the farmer as she runs to me, "Kizak has been sick. Please let me fill in for him today and let him rest."

As both the kind farmer and his wife say I should certainly be allowed to rest if I've been sick, I try to wave it off. "No, it's okay." I just need to go slow enough to not overuse the energy level I've reached for today.

"No! It is _not_ okay. You will rest for today. Tomorrow maybe you will have your strength back." Noriko has scolded me more fiercely than she ever does, raising her voice at me. I blink in surprise, shocked she will order me so strenuously.

She pulls me up and won't let me just walk under my own power. It's a bit embarrassing to be coddled so. When we get under the trees she makes me sit under one and lean against the trunk.

Quite firmly she says, "Sit here and rest. When you have learned to properly rest after such a thing as you just went through, maybe you won't collapse all the time from overworking yourself. Please be more aware of yourself!" She turns and marches off before I can say anything. Is that what she thinks is going on?

I can only blink after her as a wave of dizziness passes over me. It's so frustrating that I can't make my body do what I want it to do today. She's probably right, though. Another day of rest is going to be required unexpectedly. I suppose I can use this time to meditate.

Footsteps sound nearby and I'm suddenly being harangued by Evan for being so weak as to faint while working in the field. I didn't faint, but I can only apologize. Surprisingly, he hands me a vegetable that he wants me to eat. I tentatively do, wondering just what kind of a person he is. He wants to know if I like it. I do. It's juicy and sweet, for the kind of vegetable it is.

"I grow it," he grins at me. "It'll make you feel better soon. This food is filled with energy from the sun and the rain and the rivers. It's got plenty of nutrition from our mother planet."

_Sun energy, and water, and earth. It has three elements of energy in it!_ I wonder if it also has air energy and wonder if Noriko knows. _Plants have all of them?_

I feel an approaching person, one who has a different feel to him - that of a warrior rather than a farmer. He pokes his head around the tree. "Hey, hey, Evan! You ran from the shop too fast. Here's your pay for the vegetables."

"Oh, yeah," Evan takes the coin pouch.

"Hi. My name is Roki. Nice to meet you." The man lifts his hand to me in greeting. His grin is a bit insincere. He came out here with the coin only to meet me, I think.

"Hey! This is too much!" Evan says.

"Oh, no it's not," Roki says. "My customers love your vegetables. I sell out all the time."

"No kidding? They do?" Evan is happily embarrassed. Roki doesn't seem to be lying, rather in this matter he seems to be an honest businessman - something rare it seems these days. I bring the wind to my ears and hear more than one voice in the distance talking quietly.

I slump inside just a little. This is a small farming community. We're already the subjects of rumors being passed around. That must be why Evan believes I fainted and Roki wanted to come see who was being talked about. I hope that doesn't become a problem for us later. I'm very glad I thought to have us use false names. We'll be remembered for many years in this place.

-o-o-o-

I've become very content in this place. No. I've become happy. I'm able to rise every morning to see Noriko, work hard doing simple yet good things, see Noriko in the evening, practice without worry in the early part of the night, and sleep deep restful sleep. It's a good life to be living, even if only for a time. I've relaxed with Noriko here to smile and laugh with, and with Irktule to protect us from seers. I know it can't last forever, but I'm grateful for this time to heal and have my fear and anger be still and quiet.

I practice during the day, but I also entertain myself listening to the rumors of the people of the community on the wind. Early on, because I tripped and was weak that first day, and Noriko scolded me strongly, they said that I must be an actor and she was the warrior, and Doros a stagehand.

That was funny until the lady who runs the shop decided to test her and surprised us both by attacking Noriko with a branch. The shopkeeper was scolded soundly by her daughter, so I didn't need to do it. That led to a nice visit with Noriko as I walked back to the house with her.

Not long after we were all working in separate fields, someone was talking to the farmer we're staying with and learned we were sleeping on the floor. Within the day a wagon drew up in the yard as we were all arriving back to the house. The man driving it said that his wife had sent him to bring their extra bed to give for us to use.

Noriko took one look at the narrow bed and blushed, looking away, but she didn't say anything. I took the rumor matters into my own hands, wanting to change that one. Putting my hand to my breast, I bowed to Noriko. "Lady Geena, I shall take the floor, as is only right."

She glared at being given the title, but was relieved sufficiently to nod and thank me quietly. I was relieved when the gossip storm by the next day had another bed brought to our room for me to use, and had Noriko properly set as a lady at the very least (they like to title her a princess as that's more exciting and dramatic).

It's been easier for us both to sleep since we have the beds. Noriko works so hard each day she can barely stay awake beyond dinner, and the soft bed allows her body to rest from her labors better. I'm able to relax better as well. I was catching myself wanting to tease her in the middle of my meditations and night practice sessions. Not only would that be unkind, it was quite impossible to wake her anyway.

I'd taken to sitting by the window, or climbing to the rooftops to watch the stars so I wouldn't disturb her. I still do, since I've enjoyed doing that since I was on my own, but because that's always what it's been, I also enjoy just quietly being near Noriko. Having a companion has been nice. Having that companion be Noriko, even nicer.

-o-o-o-

Doros is running to find me. "Kizak, come give us a hand. A villager's cow fell into the ditch and we can't get it out." He calls.

It's quite wedged in with the leg that might have pushed to get it out stuck underneath it. I'm able to get the right hold on it and lift it. As soon as it's properly up on my shoulder, Noriko calls me. Not having the focus I can't answer right away, but as soon as I have the cow up in the field, I do contact her. Since it's for lunch, I ask her to wait for the short time it will take me to make sure the cow is okay.

The cow walks about a little, then says it will be fine with a bit of rest. The farmer agrees after checking the tendon. I scold the cow who meekly says it will pay attention better from now on. I tell Doros I need to return to my work and run back to the field I'm working in.

I'm happy to see Noriko waiting for me in the shade of the wagon I'm filling and greet her with a kiss. She sets out the lunch as I tell her what happened. I'm just coming to the end of the story when she surprises me by sitting up on her knees and giving me a not just a kiss, but a passionate one. I really don't know how to handle that.

"Izark. You are very [ADD] today. What's going on?" she asks me now that I'm quieted by her surprise attack. I have to ask for the definition of her word. "Ah..., very talkative and energetic. Have we been in one place too long already?"

That makes me smile. "No. I'm just happy. It's quiet here and I can work hard and do good things and see you every night and every morning, and you've brought me lunch so we can sit and be together today."

Noriko is a bit surprised. "Oh. Is that what it is? This is happy Izark?"

I'm happy to have her be able to learn who the happy Izark is. "Yes. This is happy Izark." I leaned on my raised knee to look at her and she blushes and looks away.

"Well...I could get used to happy Izark," she admits. I grin to myself because she's giving me such a good reaction. I want to see it more.

"You know," I say, drawing her attention again, "it's because of you I can be this way."

She shakes her head, disbelieving. "Me?"

"Because of you - your strength, your understanding, your kindness, and most of all your trust in me that has never turned away from me even in the worst of my changes - I have found a place I can be just me. Of all people, you have never rejected me or what I am. Even I've done that. Because of you, I've learned that I can be me and be happy being me. Thank you, Noriko."

Her blush is very rewarding, and her words kind. "It isn't anything really, Izark. You are kind. It's easy to love you."

I shake my head. "I think only you think that, Noriko."

She seems to be confused that I can't see what she sees. "No. Gaya thinks so, too. The others liked you also."

That makes me remember the last day with them. "Even after they saw what I became, Noriko? I'm not sure."

"Well...I guess I can't say anything about that, but none of them ran you out of the house when we went back. They looked confused, yes, but none of them looked like they wanted to kill you or yelled at you or threw rocks at you."

She's put it a funny way, but always looking at the positive side of things, seeing the little things as clues for good rather than ill will, and wanting me to be able to see those things that way and find hope in them for myself - these are the ways of Noriko that I love. She's already opened the door today and I'm reaching for her to kiss her, to express my appreciation and my feelings to her. "Noriko, I love you. Even if they can't accept me, as long as you do, I'm happy."

It takes her too long to recover and I can silently laugh at her again. She's given me a great reaction to enjoy. She gives up and takes a bite of a sandwich. For the first time in my own words, she says, "Umm, you're welcome?"

I realize then why she's never said it before in my words. The way those sounds twist in her mouth and stumble on her tongue have me in full out laughter I can't keep quiet. It sounded so funny, I laugh until I double over. Noriko kicks at my head, peeved. "Hey, at least I tried to say it this time. At least give me that much credit."

When I've recovered sufficiently, I agree, "Okay, you tried. I will give you that." My head has ended up in her lap and I reach up to gently touch her face, glad I've been able to truly laugh for the first time in years, if perhaps even ever. "You have changed me so much. Thank you."

She scowls at me, and I wonder why. "Oh, no. I'm not saying it again." _What?_ It takes me a moment to work out what I said, then I can't hold in the laughter and it bursts out of me again.

"No, no, I didn't," I gasp for air, "really!"

She sighs and bends down and kisses my forehead tenderly. "[You're welcome,] Izark. I'm glad you can laugh and be happy." Wryly she adds, "Even if it is at my expense."

I roll over to nuzzle my face into her belly and hold her with my arm. I'm very glad for a Noriko who can make me happy, make me laugh, and forgive me and be happy with me. Her fingers touch my hair, slipping into it and I'm suddenly very still, although I can't make the happy relaxation go away.

As her fingers run through my hair I'm mesmerized by the calm feeling that comes upon me. When that gets into something else, then I very much have to hold still until she's done and I can eat my own lunch. That's okay. Today's lunch is a very good date for us. I very much want to keep her by my side and have access to this peaceful happiness for the rest of my life.

But...I've been also thinking another little thing in the back of my head that comes out now that she's distracted and we're quiet (and I need a distraction). Today is the first time she called me using our heart connection since we arrived here. At the beginning, I didn't want to distract her from her work because it took so much focus and effort for her, but more and more frequently I wish she would so that I could talk to her while we work.

I shift just enough to look at her face. She's in a trance, looking only at her fingers going through my hair. It would be okay to stop that right about now. "Noriko..."

"Hmm?" She blinks to bring herself out of the trance, then works to free her fingers from my hair.

"That's the first time you've called to me since we arrived here, and I haven't felt you looking either. Are you still afraid?" I worry that she's still too worried about the last thing she saw so unexpectedly.

She jumps just a little in surprise and then considers it. "Ah! ...Well, I've been too tired each night to have nightmares. This much physical activity is new to me. ...It feels more like I just haven't thought to do it...but maybe, a little?" I reach up my hand to gently brush her cheek, wishing to brush those worries away. "I'll try to remember to practice while we're here, Izark. There isn't anything to be afraid of here, I know that."

If she will promise it then she will try to unlearn the fear. The Teacher won't let her break that kind of promise. I'm sufficiently satisfied. We may need to have her ...no, we _will_ need to have her not unlearn that skill and strength. We'll some day leave here and need to be cautious and careful again.

"Has it made you feel lonely?" Noriko asks. It sounds like she's trying to tease, but in her face I see sorrow and worry.

It's not a question to answer, not when she needs to face herself first. I sit up and kiss her again gently and hold her gently in my arms to give her the only peaceful healing I know how to give her. When she's able to relax into my encircling arms and chest, then I can also know that same peace.


	29. Departure Call

The rumors are changed again today. I'm embarrassed to understand now why Noriko was wanting to understand my happiness the other day. I was too happy and let all of the villagers know of my strength. She was kind to not scold me outright, but she probably should have.

Now, I'm the strong and gallant knight of low station who eloped with the princess, and Doros is the stablehand that helped us. Once I get over the embarrassment, fear, and worry about what I did, I'm then embarrassed for another reason.

I happen to really like this rumor of all of the ones they've discussed, thought about, and eventually rejected as they see more and more of us. I'm bouncing between being sad that I may have made it so we'll have to leave soon and the little thrills of delight that run through me.

Noriko _is_ my princess, the one who I protect and will never leave the side of. If that day I turned the rumors to her being that, then I'm glad they can finally see what I am for her. If the rumors stay at this level, then I'll be content. ...But it's me I'm not sure should continue to be so free. I wouldn't want to bring evil on this peaceful place because of showing too many people things that could bring Rachef or others here looking for us.

I wonder how she's doing now? I practice looking at her. I've gotten very light, so that I see her without her noticing, although for a long time she was too focused on her work to notice. She's walking down the road, laughing at a thought in her head. I can't help but smile.

"_Hey, Izark. Are you practicing, too?_" she asks me.

"_Hey. That's the fastest you've known I was looking at you._" I respond.

Noriko shakes her head. "_No. I was looking first. I'm headed your way._"

"_Ah, that's why I thought of you. I'll wait for you._" I'm glad she was practicing properly.

"_Okay."_ To continue practicing, she comments, "_I'm just about done with my field,_"

"_I'm done here as well. That means I can go with you in the morning._" Because I'm very fast and she's slow, she's working the next to last field. The farmer and his wife are in the last field. Evan has been threshing constantly now that most of the grain is dry enough. The harvest being that close to complete also means it's likely time for us to go.

Noriko perks up. "_That would be wonderful._" Her happiness at seeing me makes me give her a kiss when she arrives. When she reaches for me, I take her hand in mine, happy to have her with me on our walk home. Even if we do leave soon, it will be together. I'm content to do what needs to be done as long as it's that.

Noriko was looking into the air and now she says, "Oh, that's wonderful news! I'm amazed they could find out. Thank you so much."

I glance at the empty air, then look at Noriko. "Is it Irktule?"

"What?" She stares at me in shock. "Yes, it is, but I thought you could see him."

I shake my head. "When we first came, but not any more. He's been fading and for the last little while I haven't been able to at all."

Noriko frowns, then is looking at Irktule again, listening to what I can't hear. It's a long conversation, so I keep Noriko's feet moving while holding her hand. I walk slowly. We don't need to be in a hurry and what Irktule says seems to be serious, given her expression. I think even he's now agreeing it's time to go. That's enough clues. I'll begin preparing.

Noriko finally nods and says, "I understand, Irktule. I'll let Izark know and we'll talk about it." She turns to me. "He says the evil outside this village has been increasing and it's taking all his and the spirits of the White Mist Forest's power to keep it protected. He's thinking they'll have to shrink the barrier to being just over us, or the houses when we're in them.

"He's also worried about the gossip going around. People are too curious about us, so if anyone comes looking for us they'll be suspicious right away." She shakes her head. "I really would have thought we'd been here long enough for it to die down. Do they really have nothing else to do? Are we the only farmers and helpers working this harvest?"

Irktule does agree with me, and without anyone to fight against the evil, I'm not surprised it's only increasing outside of this place. I wish I could give the whole world this kind of peace we've had this past month.

Noriko's last questions show that she really has only lived in the cities. "There is work, but there isn't much else. We are the newest entertainment. It could go on for years, even if we settled here."

She shakes her head again, not believing it. "In the city, we barely talk to our next door neighbor and everyone tries hard to keep lives private, although some go out of their way to be friendly."

I raise an eyebrow. "No different from cities here."

Noriko sighs. "No, not really, I suppose. I'm just a city girl, I guess, although between the older women the neighborhood gossip was not unknown. But to make it up they way they do..." I can't help but silently laugh at her again. To so freely admit that she's a city girl. She sticks out her tongue at me, but it only makes me laugh more.

I do wonder that she isn't throwing a tantrum. Most of the city girls would, if they were the focus of so much gossip. "It doesn't bother you, though, what they say?"

She doesn't care. "Unless they ask and we tell, it will all be guesses anyway. As long as it isn't unkind or hurtful, no, it doesn't bother me. Not really. It's not like we have a better answer for them if they did ask."

I can't look at her. The embarrassment rises in me again and I don't want to give it away, or she'll tease me. "True. Have you heard the most recent one?"

Noriko lets go of my hand, but it's to step ahead of me and turn to walk backwards, so she can watch me. She's holding the lunch bag in both hands, and looks so much the trysting lady that I'm very hard pressed to not give in to my embarrassment.

My hand tightens down slightly on the halter of the ox pulling the wagon of the final harvest from my field. "No?" I smile shyly, my delight leaking out but mixing with my embarrassment. "They've decided you're a princess and I'm a knight too low in station and we've eloped. Doros is the stablehand that helped us."

She blinks at me, taking that in. "Well, that almost isn't too far off, actually, although I'm not a princess." I'm glad she approves. She brightens up and my hand clenches down tighter so that the ox complains and I have to purposely relax. "Do you know what I used to help me at the beginning?"

I shake my head, wanting to know more about Noriko. I've missed being able to talk about things like this. "One of the creatures of lore in our world are [fairies]. They can use magic and fly, are thin and otherworldly, beautiful and close to nature, but are very different from humans in how they think.

"When I woke up on the golden bed under the tree it felt to me like I had been transported into a fairy world and had arrived in the bed of the Fairy Queen." Noriko turns around again and skips back to take my hand in hers. She's into her storytelling now, her more relaxed form of teaching.

"In our stories, when the heroine is in trouble, the knight always shows up to rescue her just at the right time. I was so surprised to have you show up just in time. You became the storybook knight right away, but because you are so thin and gorgeous, you already fit being a fairy, too. So you were the fairy knight who came and saved the Fairy Queen and then stole her for yourself." She looks up at me, her eyes sparkling with humor. I'm delighted by this story, to be honest, for all I didn't have good intentions at the time. That's a bit of a conflict inside me.

"Later," her face sobers a little, "when you were taking me to Aunt Gaya's, you looked at me with the demon's eyes and I realized I hadn't understood. Maybe I was the Fairy Queen, or maybe something else, but you were a [dragon] and I was a treasure you'd stolen and were trying to keep safe for yourself." I'm surprised she recognized me and our situation even before she learned what I was, but then she does look for clues and fit them into answers early.

Returning to the present, Noriko says solemnly. "I still prefer to think of you as a [dragon] rather than a demon. Demons are only evil and exist to torment humans. You aren't like that. In my world, a [dragon] is a mythical powerful creature that has wings and flies, breathes fire, and in some stories they can use magic.

"They're solitary and fearsome. They love treasure, hoarding it in caves that they protect, and often sleep in for centuries upon their treasure of gold, gems, and other things they've stolen. In some of the stories, they demand a young woman, usually a princess, in order to not destroy the land. She lives with the dragon, or it eats her depending on the story, and takes care of it and its treasures, and is one of those treasures."

I'm a bit horrified by the "eat" part. Dragons weren't sounding too bad until then. The rest of it sounds pretty close - at least the solitary, fearsome, and princess parts. I need my princess treasure in order to not destroy the land, too.

"When you looked at me that day, I became not just the Fairy Queen, but the most rare treasure of this planet. You'd come to the Seas of Trees and taken me before anyone else could. You were taking me to a place I would be safe until you found a proper cave to hide me away in. It was important that I only be obedient."

She can't face me, but she does squeeze my hand more tightly. "That's why I would say I was yours. I was your treasure and I understood that. I was protecting your treasure for you." She blushes slightly. "I guess I still do."

I stop us all from walking. That has just explained so much, and most of all why she changed to be the servant. She was being the princess treasure who had to obey the dragon and stay with it.

Her eyes look fearlessly into mine. "But that was before I understood what we really are to this place. It doesn't seem much different to me, just different names. It's not hard for me to understand or accept, although on occasion it is hard for me to understand it as reality instead of a story.

"Here, in this place, I stopped talking to you or seeing because that isn't 'normal', it's part of the story. It's easy to live life normally here where there are no monsters and it's just people living life. Even though I know everything that's happened has been real." She lifts my hand and puts it to her cheek, and lightly rubs her cheek on it. "This is, and has been, far too real to be a story." Even as she says that, she must have the touch that lets her know she is walking in a real world.

How much is she still walking in the storybook world? How difficult is it for her to accept this is real? So many things have happened that she didn't want to have happen. It would be so much easier for her to never really _live_ in this world, to some day be able to turn her back on it, return home, and remember it as only a dream.

I'm suddenly thrown back into where I was when I was testing her to begin with, and the "dragon" in me wants to know where she _really_ stands once again. "Noriko, does it not bother you to be a treasure the world wants? To have been stolen by the dragon? To be the sacrificial princess?" I'm almost holding my breath, hoping she can pass this test, and daring her to make me eat her at the same time.

She tips her head. "I'm not sure I want the whole world looking for me, and certainly not the evil men, but I've been protected from them by you. Isn't that the safest and best place to be?"

She puts on her teasing smile. I'm not amused by the topic, but I listen carefully to learn. "In our time we've romanticized dragons. Many girls would go and live with them, or even be them if they existed, although originally they were evil and more often ate the princess than kept her. You are one of the modern dragons, that any girl would want to be treasured by. Somehow, I got the good fortune to be that one. ...Though it hasn't been easy," she adds the last drolly.

I'm not sure I believe her, that I would be a "modern" dragon, but I know that she sees the good in me more than I do, so from her eyes it may be true. "And, you are more often in knight form, not dragon form. Any princess loves a dashing, handsome knight that comes to their rescue and protects them, when he's also kind and humble." She smiles a kind smile. "It's easy to love you, Izark. I have no desire to be anywhere else."

But...does she understand the terrible nature of the dragon? That even if it wants her as a treasure, it could still eat her at any time? "Noriko, I nearly lost myself in Selina, Guzena - my human mind and reasoning. If I became the dragon that would eat you, would you still feel the same?"

_Hahh_, Noriko sighs a sad sigh. She softly puts a hand on my cheek and her brown eyes search mine earnestly. "Izark. Your dragon knows me, knows I'm its treasure. It may even treasure me more than you do, given the severely scolding look it gave me when I tried to run away.

"You won't eat me, unless I'm very disobedient and don't properly protect myself to stay its treasure like I should. I'm very careful. I don't want to be eaten." Is this why she apologizes to me for not protecting herself, for not being able to do things that are outside her abilities? She's trying to appease the dragon?

She pulls me to her and kisses my lips. "I am Izark's. I won't go anywhere." She's doing it again, even. Then she pauses and bites her lower lip lightly. "Except when I'm stolen. I tried very hard last time to not be stolen, but because of Tazasheena I couldn't prevent it. But I did do my best to escape and come back to you."

I wrap my arms around her gently and lay my head gently on hers. She doesn't have to appease me. It makes me sad for her to take on more than she should. That time was a difficult time. I already know there was nothing she could do more than she did. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you then. I'm glad you escaped, but I was afraid to have you come to me. I wanted you to stay free. Where I was wasn't that."

Noriko shakes her head. "No. My place is always next to Izark, wherever Izark is. Then you know and don't have to be worried or afraid. It's part of my responsibility to take care of you, too, Izark. To make sure you're safe and protected, also. What I can do is very small in comparison to what you can do, but I know that even my small efforts have helped you. That is what I want to do." I'm quiet, my heart hurting, trying to understand.

It's not just that she's the dragon's treasure, just like it's not just her arms that heal me or my arms heal her. There are things we must do for each other no one else can do, so that we both can stay safe and keep this planet safe. Every time she followed through on that responsibility to take care of me by being back by my side, to see my fears and worries were calmed, she brought me back from becoming Destruction. It's for this reason I need her by my side, not just want her to be a companion.

Softly I relent, "It's true, that when you came, and because of you, I was able to see that light for just that moment, just long enough to protect us both. Thank you for that small effort that saved us both." I kiss her ear, so grateful for that courage and firm commitment to be by my side, even at that terrible time. "Although I don't think that was small - to escape from the house and make it that far to me."

She nods. "I was helped, by Doros, by Irktule and the spirits, and I often wonder if by that force of good that has been helping us all along. I couldn't have done all of that without help. My original plan was to hope to survive the jump from the window and go steal a horse. That would have been the best I could have done on my own. You would have already been in the darkness a long time by the time I reached you."

I pull back to look at her, surprised and worried at what she would have done. "You would have still come?"

"Of course." She gives me a surprised look. "I would even have still leaped into the darkness to get to you, if that's where you were."

I pull her tightly to me to get her to stop saying such dangerous things. "Gods, Noriko. That is so frightening."

"No," She counters me calmly. "That's where we were already headed. I didn't know you were going to grow wings of light when I jumped." I lose strength and want to whimper in fear. "I'm sorry, Izark," she says contritely. "I jumped without thinking again."

I nod emphatically, wishing she could unlearn it. _Yes, she did. Why does she do it?_ "Did you jump the first time on purpose, too?" What changed when we fell from the cliff and she was so overwhelmed with terror to someone who could jump without thought? I keep her close to me, needing her protected in my arms until I can understand.

She laughs. "No. That was honest petrification and I have no idea how it happened. One moment I was balanced, the next I wasn't. When you pulled on me, you made me turn out even more and there was nothing to be done. I am sorry, though. I didn't mean to do it...though...I wonder if whatever has been helping us did it on purpose. I've always wondered how we just happened to run into a clothing merchant first thing when that was what we needed to keep me protected right then in this new world."

I nod. "I've wondered it also. We fell right where we needed to be to help him." I release her, but continue to hold her shoulders to consider her. It's possible she doesn't know, and it's possible that we both needed her to learn that courage so that she could come to save me as I was falling to oblivion. "We need to move on again. Tomorrow let's find Doros and let him know. I'll talk to the farmer to let him know it will be soon."

She nods. "Okay, Izark." I don't want to have to take her back out into the life of fugitives in hiding, sleeping wherever on the ground we can find, but I'm grateful that Noriko is willing to trust me and go without question.

If only I did have a cave hidden away somewhere that I could take her to and hide us in. It would make life simpler and less worrisome. However, it wouldn't end the search for us. Some day soon I'll turn around and face that which chases after us and put it in its proper place so we can breathe easy again.

-o-o-o-

Noriko and I are at the general shop. Doros' chimos had two babies and he wants to take them with us. Noriko is talking to Hanna, the daughter of the woman who runs the general shop about getting a makeshift travel basket. I'm talking to Roki about if there's any work in the area available for a wandering swordsman. He's the salesman for the shop, who takes produce into town to sell it, buys things the community needs, and brings them back here to sell to the farmers. Thus, he's heard many things from here to town, and in town.

"Do you know anyone who's hiring? We need swords and horses, but we haven't much money."

"You can easily find a job outside the village," Roki says a tad gloomily. "We're about to go to war against a neighboring country. The government is hiring experienced swordsmen as mercenaries." I'm not interested in being anywhere near a government sponsored activity. I want to get away from Rachef's clutches, not give him clues I'm still here. "I heard you lifted a four hundred pound cow. I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting hired on as a mercenary for a nice price."

I ignore the reference to the gossip, that isn't this time. "I don't want to have anything to do with war. I want to work for a private party."

Roki is suddenly in my face, keenly interested. "You don't deny lifting the cow? I thought it was just another rumor, but maybe it's true."

I'm saved from having to answer him by Noriko calling out Irktule's name in surprise and Hanna grabbing at Noriko's arm while gasping in fright. "What is that? Is that a ghost?"

"What is it, Irktule?" Noriko asks. I'm ignoring Roki, worried. Irktule doesn't show up when there are other people around.

"A two-hundred gold reward!?" Hanna says in shock after both girls have listened for a bit. I'm surprised she can see and hear Irktule like Noriko can. She's cold and impersonal in her interactions, although she seems very intelligent and far more practical than her mother who believes every rumor in the city - all at once, I'm convinced.

"What are you talking about?" Roki asks, very confused.

"Irktule is a tree spirit," I explain on the side to Roki.

"Ooooh," says Hanna's mother, "I wish I could see him."

Noriko freezes, then at the exact same time both she and Hanna say, "They're coming for us!" _Huh?_ They do it again. "We can't get them involved." _What?_ The girls stare at each other for a moment, very surprised.

"Oh - my - gosh!" the shopkeep is suddenly very excited. She claps her hands together and I back off a bit. "They really are a princess and a gallant knight who've eloped and are on the run!" Hanna immediately scolds her mother.

I turn to Roki, still confused. "Are you hiding from something?"

"Are you?" he asks back.

Noriko is also confused. "Irktule, can you tell me who the men are after?" She receives a brief answer then looks at me. "He doesn't know who they're after, Kizak."

I look at Roki and we silently agree. We can't leave this alone. Roki crouches down behind the counter. I head for the tool section and snatch up a hoe. "Stay inside and lock the door," Roki instructs and he and I head for the door. The ladies nod. We close it behind us and I can hear the latch being thrown.

We turn around to find three men just getting off their horses outside the store. "Hey, hey. Why're you closing so early?"

"I'm sorry," Roki says. "We have to close for the day. If you need something right now I can go inside and get it for you."

The shortest, rotund man in front is unimpressed. "I think you know why we're here. I'll tell you what. You go get those two women and bring them out."

"They're my customers, not yours," Roki says calmly.

"I thought there was only one guy with these women," the most burly of the men says.

"There is. It's the guy with the curly hair," the head man says.

"Who's the other guy then?" the thinnest of them asks.

"I'm the traveling warrior he's about to hire," I answer for them now that we know who they're here after. I turn to Roki. "I'm not going to charge a lot. Just give us the stuff we already picked out of the shop." That will save the coin we earned farming for a sword when we get to town.

Roki's been a merchant too long. "Is a hero really so money-hungry? I was actually thinking of asking for your help, but I'm shocked to learn that a knight would charge for his services!" Or he believes in the rumors too much, not that I'm likely going to dissuade him from that one.

"You're the one with the tight purse. Besides I'm not a knight. I'm a traveling warrior. I have to work for a living," I dicker back.

The burly man laughs a hearty laugh at us, dickering in front of them like old wives instead of posturing like men. "This is great! A traveling warrior with a hoe? That's very novel. Well, I'm glad you're here, young man. I thought I was going to be bored with this fight. For some reason I've been growing stronger and stronger over the last month. This will be a fun fight."

"Me, too," the thin one agrees as they both stretch out, doing their own sort of posturing.

"Let's do this!" the leader says and the two others are headed for us.

"Fifty percent off," Roki says, skipping the rest of the dickering. I think with me protecting three of them it should be a better discount, but we don't have time and I want the agreement sealed before I start fighting, so I agree. Then the stocky man has engaged me.

He knows what he's doing, but he isn't as fast or as strong as he needs to be. I defend his sword blows a few times, then slam the flat of the hoe into his face, sending him back where he started from. I check on Roki and he's also beaten back the thin man.

"You guys aren't bad, but don't underestimate us," the leader says calmly. "We've barely begun."

The burly man pushes up and puts his hand to his mouth. "You knocked out my teeth!" I've made him angry.

"You were fast, but not fast enough," the thin man says to Roki. He begins to limber up again, but this time his limbs are looking like cloth. Like the bones are gone, or at least gone soft. It's hard to watch, and it will be harder to predict coming attacks. I silently wish Roki good luck, then watch as my opponent pushes off the ground to come at me.

I wasn't expecting the speed and he reaches me almost before I can get my hoe up. His blows come at me fast and furious. It's a good thing I can also do speed attacks and defense. I'm able to keep up with him. The third man passes us and heads for the door now that we're good and distracted. I decide it's time to get this done and watch for my opening.

I'm able to get the man's sword flung up over his head on one of my defenses and faster than he's been moving until now, I get a great blow in under his arms and into his chest, knocking him back a long ways.

I zip over to Roki's battle and intercept the thin man's sword. Roki immediately steps back to let me take over. The man's arms have even elongated and I'm feeling like I'm fighting the woman with the cloth sleeves again, except it isn't that bad a fight. By the time I have him flying backwards as well, Roki has hauled the third man back from the door to the shop - which is now hanging broken by the hinges - and he is also rolling to join his companions.

The man is immediately up. He draws in a great breath, and I run and block his wind with a wind energy shield, then send his wind back at him. I learned my lesson from Nada's man quite well enough, thank you. Plus I got a whiff of the scent of this man's poison breath when he broke down the door with it. We don't want to breathe that.

The breath blown back slams into the short man who sent it and he is blown back as well, since my wind is greater than his. He cries out, then rolls on the ground in pain. "My eyes! My eyes hurt, and my nose, too!" Well, it's okay to get a taste of your own poison every once in a while, I believe.

Through the tears running down his face as they try to clean his eyes, he sees his companions just beginning to rise from the ground where I sent them. "What? They knocked you out? I can't believe those two little men are beating the soldiers of the Grey Bird tribe!"

_What? They can't be. Can they?_ Gaya is honorable and Banadam tries hard, but these are the first Grey Birds I've met who've been willing to fight on the side of evil.

He's still trying to get his men up and fighting again. "We are not merely soldiers of the Grey Bird tribe; we are also martial arts masters! We are never beaten!" I beg to differ, but they don't know who they're facing.

The burly man pushes up. "He's right. I haven't used all my strength yet. I'm going to summon all my power..." He begins to physically transform, and I get worried. That's a bad thing in my book and he may want to reconsider. At least I wish he would. Up on his feet now, he is bulking up so that his back is large and his arms are now covered in stubby spikes. "Ha ha ha! Look at me!"

His thin flexible friend is also now pushing up, looking pleased, and like he's going to do the same, when the first one starts to gasp, then cry out in pain and concern. He's still growing and changing and it's looking painful. I wince in sympathy. "S-somebody, make this stop," he pleads. "My body is...," he can only breath in pain, and then he screams. "Aaaggh! Help me!"

This is bad. He doesn't know what he's done. "_Izark. Is it like when you transformed? Can he reverse it? Can you calm the adrenaline rush? The more he's afraid of the transformation, the more he'll transform._"

Right. Keimos wanted his changes and knew how to control them. This man doesn't, so it may only be driven by his emotions. If the fear can be calmed he might be able to reverse it. I try any number of things, then think hard about what Gaya taught me. Maybe something can help him from his own tribe's teachings. "If you're from the Grey Bird tribe, then you should remember the teachings of your founder. 'All paths eventually return to their origin'. 'Those who choose the martial path must first master the power of gentleness'."

For some reason, the master's teachings seem to do the trick and the transformation does reverse. We all sigh in relief. That was really terrible to watch and listen to. Even his companions are happy to have him back whole again. Their fighting spirit has left them, having to watch that horrible transformation.

Hanna, her mother, and Noriko step out around the corner of the house. "Amazing! Are you a clan leader, Kizak?" Roki slaps a hand on my shoulder.

"No. I had no idea what I was talking about. I was just making it up as I went along." I shift my body to shake Roki's hand off my shoulder, causing him to slip on the step as he's about to step down them. He manages to keep to his feet. Yes, he's also well trained in the martial arts.

"Years ago, a member of your tribe taught those words to me. You said you belonged to the tribe so I thought maybe they would help," I tell the three bounty hunters.

The man who was transformed nods. "I was trapped in a frightening dark place. When I heard those words, they calmed me. I had no idea the founder's words would do that."

"Who told you those words?" Roki asks me.

"A woman named Gaya il Pisca."

Roki rubs his chin. "Gaya...that name sounds familiar...I think Banadam mentioned her."

Noriko stiffens in surprise. "You know Banadam, Roki?"

He and the two ladies turn to stare at her in surprise. "You know Banadam, Geena?" Hanna asks.

"You know Banadam, too, Hanna?" Noriko asks, surprised again.

"Wait," I raise a hand. "Just who are you three?"

The bounty hunters answer for us. "They are the wife and daughter of the former Grand Duke Jeida de Gilenee. He," they point to Roki, "was the commander of the royal guards. We'll leave you in peace. It's horrible that we tried to profit from harming the one who helped our clan." They turn and mount their horses and ride off as we all stand stunned.

Noriko turns to Hanna. "No way. No [freakin'] way." Hanna nods, both embarrassed and not really wanting to admit it. Hanna's mother grabs both girls and drags them over to us men.

Now Roki is staring at me. "You know of us?" I nod. Roki blinks, then gets a look of possible enlightenment. "Wait...the way you fought...it's got to be! You're the awesome fighter that freed the Grand Duke and his sons from Nada's prison!" He's excitedly pointing at me, with too much force to him. I back up a step. Roki is a bit overwhelming when excited, it turns out.

Noriko nods. "We went with them into the White Mist woods to get to Guzena. That's where we met Irktule. He is the spirit of the morning mist tree. We helped him destroy the monster and the demon that plagued the forest, so he's been helping us."

"You've seen my husband?" his wife's eyes tear up.

Noriko says kindly, "Last I knew, they were safely with Gaya, Banadam, and a few others who are strong warriors, plus two seers. They should still be safe."

"Thank you for helping him escape, Kizak," Hanna says soberly to me. "We were very worried about them." Her brow creases, "But, we never expected they would put a bounty on our heads, too. That's troublesome."

Irktule appears again. "Ohh...he's so pretty!" I glance at Hanna's mother, then look at Irktule.

Even I can see him and hear him again. That's not good. "_They opened the barrier and let evil spirits through. I've had to compress the shield to just around you. They also carried evil seeds inside their guts. After Izark said the words to help him, the seeds left all three men._"

"Irktule, can you tell me any more about these evil seed?" I ask immediately.

"_They are each about the size of a cherry, and they look like dark pits to me. The evil spirits are like small living shadows that hover, particularly around people who choose evil and darkness._"

"I've seen it," Noriko says with a shudder. "When I was calling for you, Kizak. The bad men who were chasing me had them over their heads and it frightened me." I reach for her and tuck her under one arm to comfort her now for that scare then. She holds onto my jacket, just as glad to be there at the memory.

"_Many people are carrying them now, some a few, some many. These had many, and large ones. Just before that man began to transform, many more entered his body._" Irktule finishes his report.

"Will you come to our house?" Hanna offers.

Noriko and I look at each other. "_Izark. This is like last time. The force of good has put us in a place to help this same family. I don't know why. Irktule has even been protecting them without knowing it, because he was protecting us._"

I accept Hanna's offer. "We would be glad to."


	30. Changes

Noriko and I are sitting at the dining table sipping on tea Duchess de Gilenee has made and poured for us. Hanna is pacing. "Alef, you said that the darkness is getting worse and more good men are being forced out of government offices."

Roki nods. _Ah, he was using an alias also. I wonder if Hanna is as well._ "It's been the worst in the last month. Many people were removed from many countries all over, according to the stories I've heard in town. Most people are saying it's because a vast evil force is at work." That's how long it's been since the Source of Evil moved to capture us and lost. It hasn't stopped influencing the world. It will try to capture me again.

Hanna looks distantly, worried. "I wonder how our Zago is doing now?" She paces to the wall and slams a fist on it. "I want to protect Zago also against this evil, but how can I do that? I'm just one woman, not even in that country any more to make a difference. I want to do something, but I feel so small and insignificant."

Noriko perks up. Hanna's frustrated, but she's stirred the Teacher. "Um, Hanna," Noriko hesitantly offers, "your father felt the same way. It was hard to see him frustrated and depressed, but while he was with us, he found an answer that helped him." Hanna turns to look at Noriko, sitting next to me.

"I don't know if it will help you, but he said that when he chose to accept that he was only one man, rather than be frustrated by it, that it allowed him to see what he _could_ do. He realized that even if it was a small thing, if every day he did what was possible to him, then it would add up with what everyone else was doing around him. As the efforts of everyone combine, the overall effect can be large.

"Like here. I can only cut four rows of grain in a morning, and sometimes longer. But that is four rows the farmer didn't have to cut. All of the grain cut by all of us becomes a large basket. His grain goes to the market - through Roki who is only doing what he can do in buying it from the farmer and selling it at the market. From there it goes to feed a house. Maybe it's a house of a person who can help you in some small way because they had the nourishment necessary to perform their work for the day.

"My effort was small, but it has helped others through the small efforts of others working with mine. I learned to understand this from your father. Maybe it can help you, too." Hanna is thinking through Noriko's words.

I offer what comfort I can. "When we left them, they were going together to find others like Grand Duke Jeida who'd been removed from their offices but who still wanted to help their countries. Gaya's sister, Zena, felt that if they could all be brought together, maybe together their efforts could have a positive effect on our world."

Hanna stares at me, then slowly says, "If there were anything I could do, it would be that - to join them and help them. Would you come with us and help us find them?"

I look down at my cup. It's a job falling in my lap, but there are other considerations that I'd like to discuss with Noriko first, and Hanna needs to discuss with Alef if he'll welcome additional travelers who are also being looked for. It's his responsibility to keep these two women safe for the Duke.

"It's true we need to leave this place as soon as possible, and if we could work out a paying arrangement, I would consider it. But...we also bring possible danger with us. I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

I stand and Noriko rises with me. We've discussed this as a group enough. "Grand Duke Jeida is a friend and we would help you for his sake. Let us think about it and talk to Barago. You must also decide if you really want us to come with you." I take Noriko's hand in my arm and escort her to the door.

"Um...," Alef interrupts, "just who are you and what are you running from?" I suppose he would want to know in order to make his decision.

Obviously I'm not going to give him the truth. I smile. "Geena is a princess and I was her country's most gallant knight. We eloped." I close the door behind us before they can ask questions.

When we get far enough, Noriko says, "You liked that one best, huh?"

Noriko has rather automatically taken hold of the back of my jacket again. I think it's the habit from before, now that we're going to leave again. "You _are_ my princess, Noriko."

It seems that she's playing - now that she's explained she does that too - since she doesn't blush but she's not really teaching either. "I suppose, but if you're really my knight, then we should do that proper, you know." I don't know what she means by that.

She clarifies, with a bit of dramatic flair. "I don't know how that's done here, but since it's all storybook anyway, I'll tell you that. The knight kneels in front of the person they're going to pledge loyalty to, takes the hand of that person like this," she demonstrates, "and pledges their loyalty, then kisses the back of the hand. If I had a sword, I'd knight you, too, but we can assume that's already been done if you want."

I want to see if she really is playing, and if it's because she's uncertain about our future again, or perhaps she may just enjoy it. She did call it "all storybook" although it's related to the rumors. Of course any false face we put on for others somewhat fits into that category. I stop her and go down on one knee in front of her. I take her hand in mine and look up into her face. She looks a little stunned that I've chosen to play along and her other hand drifts up to curl in front of her heart.

"Noriko, I pledge my undying loyalty to you for all of my life." I lift her hand to kiss the back of it gently. Her hand is suddenly warm and when I look up, her ears are turning very red. Then the heat must reach her eyes, for they begin to drip tears. That wasn't really what I expected at all, nor what I really wanted. I stand and wipe her cheek. "Noriko, I didn't mean to make you cry."

She swallows, opens her mouth, then closes it. I'm a little surprised she's so moved as to not be able to talk aloud, since she can usually always talk. "_No, Izark. My heart is so full, that's the only way it can express all the things in it. ...If anything you've set the heart connection completely. It will never be broken._"

I don't know if that's true, nor how it could have happened from us just playing, but she is everything I want at the moment - the Noriko who loves to be loved - and I can only answer with the right response. Holding her head gently, I bend close to her and when my lips touch her warm ones, our breaths mingle and there is only her and myself in the world in that moment.

I can feel her strength leaving her and I need to get us off this little road, out in the open, and away from eyes. I pick her up and carry her away until we are up in a small woods on a hill in this area. She rests her head on my shoulder and her hand over my heart, silent. But I feel her there with me, and everywhere. I am drowning in her, and perhaps she is also drowning in me.

When I gently lay her down in the shade under a tree, she doesn't complain and her eyes close. She can't hear me and that worries me. I sit under the tree and put her head in my lap. She still doesn't react when I place my hand on her forehead and then run my fingers through her hair.

She said the heart connection had changed with my words at her play, and now she's this way, and even I feel differently. How can words suddenly and unexpectedly have such strength? If Noriko was only playing, has something been set she'll be unhappy with having happened to her? _...What have I done?_

-o-o-o-

Norkio is breathing slightly deeper breaths and then her eyes slowly open. She still doesn't see me at first, then her eyes clear. Awareness brings a few emotions to her face: confusion plus a few others that flit through, then her eyes fix to my face and she comes to some decision.

She takes one deep breath in, then lets it out fully, slowly. A second one, then she asks softly, "I'm sorry. Have I been gone long?" She reaches for my hand to hold it lightly since I moved it away, afraid.

"Noriko...have I done something you're unhappy with?" I'm sad, uncertain, wishing I could go back and undo what I've done, whatever it is. It feels like I've made a similar mistake to the one of leaving her alone with Gaya, only to immediately have troubles find her.

"No, Izark," she answers gently.

_But_... "If something I did has made it so you can't ever be free if you want to be..."

Noriko gently squeezes my hand and reaches for my face with her other to lightly caress my cheek and jaw. It's very hard to not flinch away. "Izark. I've told you. I don't need to be free. Since I came, I've been happy to be with Izark. I chose it already, when we talked before, remember?

"I said it - if I chose to love you, it would be for the rest of my life. Just because your sincere words may or may not have added to the strange magic of our connection, that didn't change my decision from before. It's only strengthened the feelings of my heart."

My heart gives one hard thump and I swallow. This is such uncertain ground. I feel so unsteady, wanting yet afraid.

"I'm more worried about what you've done to yourself if you're immortal. You've pledged yourself to me for _your_ life. You've disallowed yourself from ever having happiness later with any other princess you find." A tear drips from her eye and rolls down her temple. "It would make me sad if you couldn't find happiness later, once you were no longer sad at my passing."

All I want is her. Eternity is rather vast and distant. I can only blink at her and how she can jump right to such vast thoughts. I sigh and try to calm that worry of hers. "I'll assume for now I'm not immortal. It makes things easier to think about."

Noriko pauses, then smiles. "I do agree with that. Right now there's something else to think about that's not so easy, I think." I'm not sure what she's talking about again, but as usual she keeps going so I can catch up. "If we help Hanna, her mother, and Alef - and I think we should because the force of good wants us to - we'll likely have to face everyone else again. Can you do that?"

How can she all of a sudden ascribe a living presence to whatever it is that may have been influencing us to do good things, even if we didn't know we were? I suppose if there's a Source of All Evil, there might be a Source of All Good. Would that be what she's talking about? I'd like to see more evidence it exists, I think. And having to face the others who traveled with us and suspect what I am? It was hard enough to face them and not run before. She's right that it will be difficult to face them again.

"I still say they aren't going to turn you away, Izark. They fought with you, helped us, stayed with us, even knowing or suspecting before then." _Before_ they saw me change they might have known what we were?

That shock must have shown on my face, because Noriko gives a nod of confirmation. "Geena knew, although I swore her to secrecy. I'm sure her father suspected from the beginning, since he asked her to see for him. Gaya doesn't care. She's known you for years. Zena will follow her lead, and her girls will follow hers.

"Barago will follow you just because you're strong and showed him a better path. Banadam will haunt us both if we let him. If we bring Duke Jeida his family, he won't be able to harbor any more thoughts of worry." While most of this is new to me, as usual her arguments are incontrovertible.

"I can't believe the force that leads us to do good would put people in place to support us that would turn against us." She pauses for me, but even then I don't know how to put everything together, it's all so hugely vast to my mind.

She finishes with, "Even Doros knows exactly what we are and is helping us, the same with Irktule. There are people who see that you aren't evil and want to see that the good you're doing is supported and helped. If you can trust me, I think you can also trust them."

I run my hand through my hair, making the long locks fall in waterfalls. I take a deep breath, trying to find the surface, trying to comprehend without being completely overwhelmed.

I finally have to complain. This was larger than all of her other firm statements of conviction put together, it feels like. I'm really only just now being able to find peace within myself and my own long years of self-hatred. "Noriko, sometimes you make me swim in deep water and I wonder where the air is." She blinks, not really understanding.

For this entire day until now something has been pushing on me and it's so massive, so new and different, I don't know what to even see. It almost seems as if whatever it is that stands behind her and her conviction has said that because I've taken that one step I now must face the next one. As if I'll be forced to continue to see myself in a way I never have before, and it will be the way Noriko sees me. But what she sees is so vastly different than what I'm used to being. When she makes these statements I want to flee back into the darkness I know and understand.

Am I really to learn something so large before, or as, we begin to make this next step? I'm rueful as I remember some of the students I passed in the university town one time on my caravan travels. They were wishing their vacation was longer, complaining that they weren't ready yet to work so hard as their professors were going to push the knowledge onto them. That's how I feel. Like this place has been a vacation and suddenly today I'm back in school before I was prepared to be, and Noriko - the Teacher - is my professor, and she is relentless.

"I'm sorry, Izark. Neither of us will really know until we arrive. That's just how I see it." She frowns at me, a scolding look. I figuratively back away, not wanting it. "But I don't want to run from it either, Izark. Just like the saying good-bye. Some things need to be faced. Otherwise the never knowing leaves too much pain behind. Even if they do reject us and we have to leave, at least it's [closure]. It's complete. We know not to return again." She looks up into my eyes, hers clear and open, having had her say.

I sigh and put my hand on the top of her head and gently caress it, more to give myself courage perhaps. "The strength of Noriko, to look fearlessly into the face of the fearful and accept the answer it gives." I'm not sure I can do it, but I know she'll drag me with her. If the force for good in this world is acting on me because I've chosen to fight evil with all my being, then I'll be pushed along by it also until I can walk where Noriko walks.

I can only slump in utter defeat and let a small part of myself complain that perhaps I shouldn't have made that declaration as I fell into the very depths of the stronghold of evil itself. I've somehow been claimed by its opposite. I can only hear in my ears that it's my own fault, and cringe.

Noriko grins in response to my comment. "And then to tell it it's wrong and I'm right. I'm afraid a lot of pride goes into that strength, which is not always a good thing."

I have to smile with her. "That's true. You do that, too. I was very surprised the first time you did that to me."

She laughs, embarrassed at her actions in the first lecture I received from her. "I was very determined, yes. I'm afraid I went too far, though, that time."

She has beautifully opened herself up to me. I tip my head at her. She braces herself for it, her eyes rolling just a little, since she recognizes that also. "It was an interesting lesson. I learned more about you in that time than I would have ever learned, I think. I was thinking, 'What a strange creature I've found, to not even be embarrassed to talk about such a thing before there are even words past a simple introduction'."

Her face flames satisfactorily, and properly, too, since that was too much for a first meeting of anyone, for all it well prepared me for everything that happened after it. "Oh, I was embarrassed - _after_ the lesson. When I'm teaching I'm not present - not my heart and sense anyway. Just the knowledge and the need to teach it. I felt that in order to present my case I had to make sure everything I wasn't sure you knew was known, then an understanding could be reached."

I nod, my teasing smile on my face still. I'm not done repaying that time yet. "I was surprised when you said you would be a doctor. I would have thought lawyer instead." I grin.

Noriko groans. "No. Almost anything but that."

I raise a mocking eyebrow. "You would be very formidable."

Noriko sits up, then holds still until her dizziness passes before she answers me. "Perhaps, but I know nothing about law, particularly the laws of this world. I would rather serve by being a doctor, a researcher, and a teacher...after I'm done helping you with your work, when things are peaceful again."

It's surprised out of me. "You think peace will come?"

She frowns at me slightly. "Of course. That's what you're here for. It might take a while, but -"

_Ah...oh dear._ I've done it to myself this time, letting something slip to make the force for good and Noriko push me again when I'm still reeling from the lesson already given. I quickly put my fingers on Noriko's lips to halt the tide threatening me yet again. "You will make me drown again." Noriko asks questions with her expression, respecting my request to not say it.

I hesitate, then must tell her, or I'll continue to drown daily until I suffocate or survive out of desperate self-preservation. "I have lived in darkness and self-doubt for so long that to have your light shine so brightly on me and my life is...difficult. I appreciate it, even need it, but I need to come to it more slowly."

The sun quickly comes out for her at that explanation. "Oh. Well. That will be difficult, I suppose. Please keep telling me when I've gone too far. You are already light to me."

She has come out and said it directly, what she sees. It's so foreign I can only gape at her, then shake my head. _Only Noriko._ That's what I can believe for now. Perhaps some day I'll be able to believe it more for others, even if today I have to begin to understand that the others have already known. That will take me many days of pondering, I think, in order for my heart and being to believe it.

I rise to my feet and offer Noriko my hand. "Let's go find Doros." Noriko rises, but when she's on her feet her breath catches and her eyes go wide. She's still unstable. I thought she might have recovered by now. "Are you okay?" I ask, still worried about what's happened to her and not understanding it.

"Ah," Noriko looks away from me and ducks her head. "I'm feeling like a new bride," she admits. "My heart still hasn't settled." Her face heats again, making the admission.

A new bride? Her hand in mine is suddenly something I'm paying close attention to, how small it is and how it's become calloused from the farm work, but how delicate it is even still. I just as suddenly want to pull her close to me again, and not just to hold her, but to kiss her and then to not stop. I try to let her hand go, and can't. I don't want to. That's the opposite of what I want to do. I have to bring all my will to bear and hold myself very still. "Izark?" Noriko asks timidly, unsure.

I blink a few times, trying to return to the present, then turn my face away from her, feeling my own face turning red. _What have I done?_ It's a gentle need to love her fully - desperate, but gentle. I really don't know what to do about this. I need to protect her, and to respect her family, and her, but I can't let her hand go.

She's waiting for me to answer her, though, so I finally take a deep breath. "That... that is rather unsettling, isn't it?" I can't meet her eyes. I don't know if she wants it, and I'm afraid if she says she does I won't be able to continue to say no. Is this also a testing lesson to go along with the others of the day?

Noriko grips my hand tightly which helps me recover some, but then she steps into me, putting her forehead on my chest. I jump and yelp slightly in surprise. That was dangerous. Her hold on my hand is so tight I can't escape. I can only breathe until I can recover. When I think I have the strength to separate us instead of anything else, I reach for her shoulder with my free hand and push her back a little.

She looks up at me through her eyelashes, and has her teasing grin on her face. I groan. "I should have known." I'm going to lose again. She looks up at me properly, the evil grin still in place. "You can love me, and I can love you, but you can't run away, Izark. Not any more."

I lose to compassion. Her tears cause me to hurt sympathetically, although I also find it surprising that again tears come for this. I wipe them from her cheeks. "You're doing it again, Noriko," I say quietly.

"Yeah," she agrees. "I'm a water fountain. But you've known that since the beginning, too."

I have. From even before the lectures of the Teacher, Noriko the girl has been sad, lonely, lost, and it hurts to think that I will run, even if it is to protect her. I take her in my arms to comfort the pain. "Yeah," I answer softly. "I remember. ...I promise, I won't run away."

Noriko nods in my chest. "I'll be holding you to that."

I chuckle a soft sound. I can count on that. "I'm sure you will." A light shudder goes through me, though. Even if she needs the comfort, I do not need the close contact right now.

Noriko sighs. "Damn emotions. I really prefer to let my head do the leading out, not my heart. The heart just gets things all tangled up. I'm sorry."

Focusing on the conversation is good right now. "...No, I may not have understood what I was doing, but it was still my fault. I'm sorry."

"...Please don't be. That's how we got here. I want to know you love me as much as I love you, or it hurts too much. I just wish it wasn't going to make us both afraid."

I freeze and a lump is instantly in my throat. I want to shiver in nervousness, to unhear what I just heard. My arm tightens around her slightly to hold myself, but really there is only one solution if we aren't going to be let out of this strange place we are suddenly in, and we can't stay standing here like this all day, and irritatingly we haven't been able to change our situation for all we've tried multiple times now. I say gently, "You know, there is really only one way to solve that."

She turns her head slightly, to look out at the woods around us and fields below us. "Yeah. I know. Do you know how many gossips are watching us right now?"

I grasp at the one thin straw she's just offered. "Ah, good point. Postponement until tonight?"

She gives a small nod. "Probably a good idea. ...We might even come to our senses by then...though I doubt it." She sounds a bit morose for her.

But when I consider it, I'm going to have to agree. I sigh. "Mm. Probably not. It's either that or I'm running."

She snorts lightly. "Yeah. I know. ...I really rather you didn't."

I promise it again with a kiss to the side of her head. "I won't." It still takes everything I have to not move for a while, watching gossips or not.

When my strength returns to me just enough, Noriko leaves my arms which have protected us both until now and takes the back of my jacket in her hand. "We need to see Doros," she says quietly, not looking at me. I don't look at her either. We barely have enough strength for this much - to walk together to find another human being.

_Whatever will become of us?_ I bemoan to myself. _What does the force for good want from me, from us, if upon the very first day of being tied together by it as tightly as if by marriage bonds it wants us to live out that very first lecture, also so strongly given and required?_ I shudder and don't think of anything at all except our immediate requirement - to find Doros and tell him it's time to go.


	31. Emotions

Noriko's emotions flutter about and are as cacophonous as a flock of colorful birds all sitting in her one tree. I know they're hers because I know all of mine intimately. Mine are dark and quiet, for the most part, and I've been practicing a lot to control them so they don't rise above the surface. Ever since she told me that they are what drive my physical changes I've worked even harder at it. In the main I can control them as long as I'm in a situation that doesn't make the fear or anger rise (anger has always been slow to rise anyway).

These emotions flicker and flit from here to there, from one to another, and are random from my point of view. But that's how she speaks as well, so I have to wonder if she thinks like she speaks - which she probably does. I'm feeling her conversations with herself. It's worse the closer we are, and I'm grateful she sat in the back of the wagon so I can practice tamping _her_ emotions down while Alef's talking to me. (I guess it's good I got so much practice before at doing so with mine.)

The next town over is called Steny, and it has a large bazaar. The de Gilenee's sold as much of their product as possible to the farmers of the village. The rest is packed in the wagon with us. They'll sell it in Steny and use the proceeds to purchase passage across the ocean to Zago for all five of us.

I've been hired on as a bodyguard, to help Alef protect the Duchess Niana and her daughter, whose real name is Glocia. They've promised me enough pay after we reach the coast to purchase a good sword at the smithies there. I've asked for enough to hopefully also be able to get two knives (one for me and one for Noriko) and a few other things we're likely to need.

"So, since we'd like to be out of Steny as fast as possible...," a hand lands on my shoulder - again. As the commander of his soldiers, Alef has learned habits of camaraderie that make my skin crawl. "...I was hoping to talk you into staging a martial arts demonstration to draw in the crowds."

I look pointedly at his hand. "Why is your hand on my shoulder?"

Alef blinks and after a bit of thinking, removes it. Then I deign to answer him. "You hired me as a bodyguard, not an entertainer or business partner."

Alef's definitely a negotiator. I think he's been protecting political leaders too long. Perhaps that's why he's a good businessman. He starts right in. "If we can't sell our remaining goods, we won't have money. Without money, we won't be able to buy food or pay for a place to stay. Do you want little Noriko to sleep out in the open on the ground? I won't be able to pay you if I can't sell my goods. I'm giving you a free ride, and am even going to buy you a good sword, if we can earn enough. Can't you compromise just a little?"

He's not as good as Noriko, but he has talked himself around to where I wanted him to be. I puff a sigh of resignation. "Fine. If business isn't good, I'll draw people in, but I want a bonus."

His eyes widen, ...as if he thought I was just going to give in? Really? Not only do I hate performing, I don't want to be noticed or remembered, and he's forgetting that Noriko and I are on the run and in hiding, too. He's going to pay dearly, as far as I'm concerned. I've only agreed at all because I happen to agree we want to sell as much as possible as fast as possible at as high a price as we can get.

Alef slumps to rest on his hand and complain at me. "Such a dashing warrior on the outside but such an old woman penny-pincher inside. It's almost frightening."

"You frighten me the way you keep trying to make me work for you for nothing," I say back dryly.

"Actually, I'm scaring myself, acting like such a stingy merchant. I've been a warrior all my life. I never had anything to do with commerce before the coup forced us to flee the country. Now I have to eke out a living as a merchant to support the three of us. Can you imagine how humiliating it is for me to have to beg you to help me?"

I'm hearing the flapping gums of the politician hoping to beg his way out of spending money again. "Quit whining."

He glares at me. "You're impossible."

I give him a knowing look. "Are you sure you were a commander? I would have said politician. They make such good merchants." He closes his mouth and goes from a glare to looking over the countryside. I'm glad he'll be quiet now.

I'm equally glad Noriko has finally changed thoughts from the two of us to other things. Those emotions can be nice, but not when they become as strong or as distracting as they were the first day and even the few days after that. Working in the same field was difficult, at best. That's when we learned distance helped. I took the opposite side of the field, but we still couldn't drag our attention away from each other very well.

She didn't fall asleep as soon as we reached our room for those nights. Just getting through dinner with the farmer's family was terribly difficult. We skipped the first day's meal with them, heading straight back to the house after we talked to Doros. (As I expected, he agreed to come with us, not wanting to be left there alone. We don't need him to be captured and interrogated, either.)

I learned a lot, not just in what a woman really is, but also in this matter of sharing emotions. I learned pretty quickly at that time that most of what I was feeling was actually Noriko's emotions. That made it somewhat easier, actually, since I could temper her fear just as it was rising.

I'm glad I'm not a woman. Now that we're able to have that particular issue resolved it's so easy to tell that, just generally, I'm not as affected by this new connection as she is.

Noriko goes from thinking about us, to general musings, her emotions going to a low ebb. I like those moments, as brief as they usually are. I hope I get more quiet times as she gets used to this...assuming she understands it.

Her next emotion is one that creeps up, then sits there looking sad, because it is sadness. It starts slipping further down into a painful sorrow and my compassion rises - that's a hard one for me to control, particularly when it relates to her. She only gets that feeling when she's missing her family. I already know that from observing her over the last almost year she's been here.

The painful sorrow eases, then is let go and for a time I have some relief. The emotions fluctuate, but quietly, and for a while it feels like when she played with the distances between us. Is she playing with the emotions, now, trying to learn how this connection works in the same way she experimented with the first connection? I hope so. _Go faster, Noriko._

I don't really say it to her. It would be unkind, since it wasn't her fault to begin with. I feel her compassion now, and I think I'm right in guessing she's experimenting and playing. That would have been in response to my guilt and slight desperation. The combination in me is similar to depression, since the three go hand in hand and are well practiced by my mind and body. They are the three, plus fear, that are tied to my strong desire to not become the Sky Demon.

"What is that?" Glocia cries out and points.

Alef and I turn to see what she's pointing at. We're relieved it's not an enemy, but what it is is so odd we stare after it in a bit of shock. Alef shudders. "That's a leafy shade caterpillar, but it's ten time as big as a normal one, if not more." He turns back. "That is not good. I've also been noticing that many trees are dying. Something evil is afoot for the world to be changing like this in such odd ways." I agree with him.

I'm feeling fear, a nervous fear with a bit of the shock mixed in, and something else I'm not sure I recognize. "_Izark, send comfort down. That's my fear_." Oh, is that what it is? Her fear of the strange and unfamiliar?

I look over my shoulder at her, surprised she would tell me. She just looks back at me calmly from where she's resting her head on her arms as she leans over the side of the wagon. She has to sit on the merchandise, so is high enough that's a comfortable position. I don't mind helping her experiment, since I want it to go faster.

I go back to watching where I'm directing the horses and think of how _I_ feel when I wrap my arms around her to comfort her - my compassion and caring concern. It could be she needs that, or it could be she needs me to feel like how I feel when she comforts me, but I want to start here. It would be easier for me to just feel the way I feel naturally, rather than have to reverse things. Noriko allows what I bring to the surface to comfort her fear and relaxes, the fear taking its exit. "_Thanks_."

"_...You understand this?_" I ask, wondering how far she's gotten.

"_No, not yet. Still experimenting. That was just a good time, since I knew whose it was and you need to learn to tell us apart at that level. You do a good job already, actually, it's just that one confused you. I think you live in fear so often you can't tell when it's mine._" It was a different confusion, but such details don't come across the connection. We can only guess or ask. "_If we're both afraid at the same time it will be as bad as it was when we were both drowning in love together, only death will be the result._"

And that would be why I don't really like this connection. The rest of it is odd. That is dangerous. It was dangerous enough when we were drowning in love, as she's put it. I can't afford to drown in fear. That's how I lose to the Sky Demon.

Noriko's comfort comes to calm my fear that has opened its eyes to look at me. From my perspective, to open up the door to my fear is like looking into a room that is so vast and large and filled with darkness that the boundaries of it are unknowable. But I can stand outside the doorway now and only see it, not have it overwhelm me.

Her comfort comes to stand with me in front of that doorway, like she stands next to me. But slowly, perhaps because I only stand there with the door open, experimenting to see what happens, her feeling changes until it's so large at my back as to equal my fear, and then it's larger.

Because it's larger, I can't hold it at bay and her surety that I am good, that I have nothing to fear from myself, overwhelms me like it does when she speaks it. To really feel that she honestly does believe it to such a degree makes my heart cry and want to sob, like the little boy who wants his mother to hold him and tell him the world is still good, that they are okay, that everything will be alright.

I may need it, but not while sitting on a wagon next to another man who won't understand why tears drip from my eyes. Because she's paying attention, Noriko realizes what she's done. "_Sorry_," she says softly.

Slowly the certainty and the comfort both are taken back inside her until it's just enough that it's as if she's standing in front of the door next to me, holding my hand. The level of companionship and calm trust. I like that level much better. I hope she can learn to do that with her words, too, once she's learned it here. She has been trying since I explained it to her.

I like being able to feel like I'm holding her hand even when we're apart in distance, so I stay there for a while. I'm surprised when I can tell she's getting tired. Talking makes us tired, too. Is this the same? I give her an emotional "thank you" and let the "hand" go. The comfort eases away, and I do have to agree that just a sudden disappearance is harder. This was gentle. Feeling her emotions that go along with her thoughts can be jarring.

I glance back at Noriko again a little while later and she's sleeping. It must be tiring for the person who had to hold the emotion for an extended time. I should be as careful as I was with learning to see and hear her. I can't tell how much energy of my own that used just by feel. I use Noriko's napping time as my own resting time to recover.

Her severe scold that I don't rest well enough still rings in the back of my head at times like this. I can only be sheepish that she was upset enough to not want to see me have another episode of weakness that would likely have put me into bed for another three to four days, instead of resting for the one more.

Because I was working in the fields all day, I was able to experiment with the energy of plants. The energy of the sun seems intense as far as fire energy goes. Plants can only tolerate a minimal warming from fire energy, or they whither and burn, like the trees are doing more and more the farther away from the village we get. It must have been a protected place.

Plants also can't handle high levels of water energy. A heavy rain is okay, but being flooded for days kills them, and they prefer a series of gentle rains that lets them breathe in between. That's how I learned that they do use air energy as well.

Their roots grip the earth tightly, but also take in earth energy. I can't use it well, but I can sense it, and could tell that it was just tiny amounts constantly taken up. Plants use and store all of the energies, just in very small, gentle amounts. Then, when we eat them, that energy is returned to us. Even though it's small amounts, it adds up to just what we need if we eat the right amount.

I watched the cows after that. They also eat the grain and grasses, so they're getting the same energy. Then we eat them. They use the energy from the plants the same way we do, but it's also being stored inside them. When we eat the meat of those who eat the plants, we're gaining the stored energy from inside them.

I watched the other animals and learned that those we eat store up the same slow energy, and move almost as slowly as the plants. The animals that move quickly, or move frequently, we don't eat. The energy becomes something different inside of them.

Then I watched people. Our bodies also release and store the energy slowly. We aren't compatible with the fast moving energy stored in fast moving creatures, like I'm not compatible with earth because it's too slow. Doros moves as slowly as the earth, so the animals have an affinity with him like they do with the earth.

Energetically speaking, I move fast, even faster than normal children who move very fast for humans. I can release large amounts of energy very quickly. That's the power and energy attacks and shields. I also absorb it much faster, but it's not the same kind of fast as the fast energy of things like song birds. More like my body soaks it up easier than most people's. And I don't need to eat to absorb energy either.

That was one of the pieces of missing things I didn't understand. It took comparing the sun's energy to fire energy to tease out one of them. The sun's energy is not just flame energy. I took my theory to Noriko and she had the reasoned answer from her world for me and it helped a lot.

There's an energy of light. The sun's energy is both heat or flame, and light. We see using light energy, yet our eyes aren't burned. They're two separate and distinct energies. When I understood that, my eyes were opened up to many things I'd seen and not been able to understand.

One of them was when I was considering how to find my final level that Noriko saw. She said my wings had been wings of light. Am I really a creature of light, down deep inside? Is light actually the energy I have the most affinity for of the fast energies, to have that one be the most powerful strength for me? Do I absorb light energy from the world around me? Is that why I don't need to eat to gain energy, and it comes quickly? It's hard to tread in those waters. I can only think of what Noriko said. "You are already light to me."

I also thought of the opposite of light energy: dark energy. I'm quite certain that's the energy I use when I'm in my demon forms. It's the energy I feel swirling around us now, if I've learned it right, that's changing the creatures and trees. As evil rises, the dark energy rises with it. At least they're connected somehow.

Noriko's goodness swirls around her and I've been trying to see what energy she has or uses, if any. She keeps it as closely contained as I do mine, at least now she does. I wonder what I would have seen before, when she didn't know? And I wonder if she is light, like she feels like, if that's how Lord Silent Mask discovered her? Can a being of darkness see and sense a concentrated source of light energy?

It wanted her to be sacrificed to it. To snuff out that much light would benefit evil, but how could light energy be so powerful a food to a dark energy creature? And if I've been a dark energy creature for so long, how can my light energy be even more powerful? Does the light energy "feed" the dark entity to give it the strength it has? My mind hurts following that path upon which I have no answers.

I wish I'd been thinking these things while standing in front of the door to my fear. I wonder if I would have seen the light energy around her if I'd turned around and looked at her, since she was using it to help me, I'm quite sure. The emotions are what the demons eat - the negative ones to feed on the energy of darkness contained within them. So the emotions are meaningful. They point to the type of energy one is using.

That's as far as I can go on that path of thinking, but it's the one I'm meditating on most now that we have this emotion connection. If we've been given lessons, perhaps the entity of light is trying to help us understand this part, and how the emotions can help us to reach our goals.

Eventually I also have to stop thinking and rest, just watching the passing fields. I can only meditate for brief times. Thinking itself takes energy and I do know when I've used too much of that.


	32. Steny

I shiver. I never understood just what Noriko meant by "hands busy" until now. I thought I had, but now she's shown me what feeling goes with it, and just how strong it is. We all repress emotions all the time. She has to repress this one when we're traveling, and it builds up, like my fatigue does. When we were working in the fields she was already keeping her hands busy.

She's able to repress it due to lots of practice travelling with me now, I guess. I didn't feel it before today. She and Glocia were looking for Niana in the market at Steny. Niana is so flighty she just follows the whims of her head. That includes not considering she's getting everyone else into trouble. Noriko called to me, using the fear to do it, not just the words. I headed for the pull of where she was and got worried myself. We got to practice not having our joint fear send us both off, but it wasn't perfect.

They were surrounded by a squad of city guards. I could see that arrangement from the roof I had gone up on to find them. I went to ground before the guards saw me. I didn't need them knowing I'd come by that way. Noriko's relief helped, as did the fact she went from fear to just worry.

It was then my fear that was problematic. It pushed me a little too far over my sensibilities when she was grabbed by one of the goons. I pushed him in reaction - to flying about six feet away. I was able to pull back, but not before he'd already gotten moving.

All three of us thought we were done for at that one, although we kept talking as calmly as we could. We were rescued by a captain of the city guard, who scolded the squad and sent them on their way, and then who went on his way as well after apologizing.

It was all rather how it should have been, I suppose, but there was one issue to come out of it. As soon as Noriko saw Lori, there was a surge of feelings that I'd never felt before and I'd frozen to stare at Noriko. Her expression said, _Later_. She'd known it had happened and was regretting it.

When we reached our room in the inn, I pointed to the bed and folded my arms at her. That one needed to be explained immediately. I was already picking out the various emotions from the tangled ball that had come at me, and I needed to know why she'd felt physical attraction and several others and what the ones I didn't understand were.

When I saw her fingers interlacing themselves, as if they would tie themselves into knots, it completely matched the emotions leaking from her again, now that she was thinking about them again instead of repressing them. I could only stare at them as if they were moravia snakes.

She'd then pointed to the bed in front of her and told me to sit there and she would show me instead of tell me. I could understand that with a mix of emotions, showing before telling might be important. As I took the first step, she opened up a different emotion door and I was struck as if with a blow. It was how she sees me, or rather what she feels when she allows herself to really look at me.

When she says to me that I am beautiful, she means it from the depth of her core. In her eyes...well, let's just say that's a rather overwhelming emotion as well and I get it. I'm also flattered and that's as far as it needs to go...for now. I'll have to get to where it's not overwhelming like all the rest of her that's overwhelming to me.

Anyway, so I sat on the bed with my back to her and she reached up and began finger combing my hair. (I can't stop shivering at the memory of what she's closed back down. Thank goodness she can close that door tightly.) It was the same desire I have to run my fingers through her hair, actually. But it includes the wiggly snakes with it - _brr_. Combing out my hair was merely pleasurable.

Then, when the snarls were out, the tickly feeling was back and she was taking up lengths of my hair and braiding them. I think she might not have even known it was little ones, and medium ones, in all different places on my head. And then combing them back out only to start again.

Ah, I'm going to make her feel it all over again if I can't control the memory of it myself. I'm rather wishing she _hadn't_ shown me. There are things we shouldn't know to that depth, I'm quite sure now.

"When I see long hair on men, and even more so curly hair," the thrill goes through us again, although she cuts it off quickly, "...well, that. It's even worse when it's people like you that are beautiful to my eyes." Her fingers are still trying to braid my hair in knots even though they aren't touching me any more. I stare at them, wanting them to stop moving. I'm getting quite terrified and it's hard to keep it contained. They're worse than Keimos, those fingers.

"I was hoping to get at least a ball of yarn and a set of knitting needles today for the trip. My hands have been too still for too long. I'll be braiding your hair - and Alef's - on the trip otherwise. Knitting lets me feel the yarn, and put it into pleasing and useful shapes."

Noriko takes a breath, then thinks of something that makes her fingers twist and turn in ways I've seen old granny's fingers move to knit yarn into useable items. The feeling is a lot calmer than what she just did, without the physical interest involved, which is a lot better in my opinion. I understand now why she was so excited in the thread and yarn shop, and had to feel all of them. "But, we need a sword for you and a knife for me more."

_Oh, no!_ I shake my head violently. My eyes are still as wide as they can go. "We'll get them," I promise me, very glad I was always behind her on the horses while hiding from people. "No braids. Only women wear braids."

"I figured, but I couldn't let you leave without doing it once. Thanks for wearing it as long as you did." She looks up at me soberly. At least she understands. It was a gift she was taking for herself, for not touching my hair for so long, and not knowing if or when I would come back to let her.

I back off to get a little better breathing distance, sitting down in the chair on the other side of the table by the bed. This is going to be a problem, and not just her "hands busy" part. It isn't unreasonable that she's going to feel attraction to things and people she's attracted to...and it's very likely to go the other direction. I can't help but get warm at the thought.

We're going to have to learn to keep many doors closed we aren't used to keeping closed. I love her, but the attraction I have to women isn't as strong for her as for another kind of woman. The heat rises even higher at that thought. I don't think she would find my own tastes complimentary, and perhaps not even acceptable. I can't look at her for a bit while I get that under control.

"Yeah. It's going to go both ways," she says dryly, following along with my thinking just fine. "I'll try to not get too jealous, if you do the same for me. I expect we'll get it figured out eventually, how to control which emotions go through and which don't and how much of them. Just, it's going to be hard here at the beginning. We don't hear each other's thoughts all the time, after all. I think it's just the extreme emotions, the ones that pop up over the normal level.

"I can feel you all the time as if you're always holding me, but the emotions are different. I can feel the lower level ones are there below the surface of that warmth, but they don't 'speak' to me. I haven't tried to go fishing, and I don't want to.

"But when they leap out and scream 'look at me!' I don't have much choice, and you don't either - at least right now. You're better at controlling them than I am, but I'm better at recognizing whose they are. ...But then, I've had practice. Your face doesn't show much to the world. I've had to read them in your eyes for a long time now."

I send her the soft love I have for her. She gives a little gasp. "Too much?" I ask, worried, since I wanted to know if intent was sufficient enough, or if they do really all have to jump out of their rooms.

She shakes her head. "Just right, actually. Like I said, your control is better. Like I want to lecture in detail, I want to give it all to you all at once so you really understand and know it all. I'll keep working on that. I already know that overwhelming isn't good...even though I just did it." She deflates, frustrated with herself. "Sorry."

I smile at her, to reassure her, but I'm having a problem. Like she had troubles not letting her surety in my goodness continue to rise as she was with me until she learned to hold a reasonable constant level, my love has been rising slowly all on its own and I'm having troubles pulling it back. Even if it was only a brief intent, it has slipped out through its door and is curious what I let it out for.

I wonder why emotions continue to build after we acknowledge them? They seem to build for as long as we pay attention to them, or if we allow them to become stronger. Is that part of the lesson? If I ignore my fear, will it diminish? I'm not sure. I'll have to work on that. It would mean closing the door isn't the same as ignoring them.

Problematically, because love was what I started with, and it built up on its own, it's woken hers up and now we're struggling against it. It's a hard one for us both to fight, even still. It's not like we want to stop loving each other.

We're saved by a knock at the door. "Sorry, to bother you, but we need to talk about the permit." Alef and Glocia point to the map of the bazaar. The "booth" space the city officials assigned to us could barely be considered in the bazaar at all. Everyone looks up at me, and Alef says the words I don't want to hear. "You'll bring them in, right?"

Noriko and I both sigh and this time we feel each other's fear. Noriko tamps it, trying to help me. She has the practice I'm still learning. She had to learn to walk through the fear from the time she came here and that is her courage, that she can push the fear down and move forward regardless.

I don't want to be remembered here. I don't want to put Noriko and the world in jeopardy if we're discovered. But we need the coin to keep walking forward. "_Izark, we've just started on this path. The force of good wants something from us. If you keep it simple, and do just what needs to be done we will be used for good again. I know that time was frightening for us, but we were given the rainbow just before it, and because of it we were placed to help these very people._"

Noriko's emotions have been anchored by those words of faith she has in that which is good. This time, instead of wrapping them around me, or sending them at me, she merely keeps them around and within her where I can see them, but not drown in them. I'm pleased she's learned to do that already. I'm able to take what strength I need from her, and know that if I choose to do this she won't fault me for doing it.

"_Thank you, Noriko._" I say with gratitude and she slowly lets go of her firm conviction and we return to our own internal balances. "Alright, Roki. I'll do it. They saw me anyway today on the roofs when I was looking for Mrs. Niana. Small-town people notice everything it seems. Do you have anything I can wear, or should we go pick something up?" Alef frowns slightly.

"Yeay, a shopping trip and Roki's buying!" Noriko calls out, startling us.

"Ah, hey, wait!" Alef protests.

Noriko isn't giving him any ways to escape. She's already grabbed Glocia's hand and is dragging her to the door. "I haven't shopped with a girlfriend in _ages_," Noriko says to Glocia, then gives a wicked grin to Alef from over her shoulder. Alef is staring at her in shock and disbelief, then he wilts. I already knew that Alef would lose to Noriko quickly if they ever negotiated.

He decides to make it my fault and glares at me accusingly. I give him an innocent look and shrug, then move to follow the girls, taking Alef's upper arm almost casually on the way. "We can't let them go alone. Last time I barely got to them before the corrupt officials did."

Alef sighs. "Yeah, you're right. The Bonya clan is too powerful in this city, and there's more riff-raff than last year when we went through."

Glocia turns back. "Mother, you will _stay here_ with Barago, do you hear me?! If you aren't here when I get back, I'm going to leave you behind rotting in jail, or wherever you end up."

Niana wilts into herself. "Yes, dear. I'll go take a nap." She must have had a stern scolding from her daughter when they went to their room earlier after I fetched Niana from the market. I found her resting on a bench next to an older man. They were pleasantly talking, but when Niana tripped on her feet to greet me, he had very fast reflexes for his age. It made me wonder.

Glocia glares at Niana, then at Doros. "Make sure she gets to her room. Even that far and she'll be lost." Doros stares at her, then finally nods. It's right next door. Noriko giggles into her hand lightly and pulls on Glocia again, practically skipping out the door. I firmly make sure Alef is coming along. _I'm_ not paying for their shopping trip and my costume to do his work in.

-o-o-o-

I wanted a mask, but was outvoted. The girls as a duo are very formidable and Noriko has secret weapons only she and I know about ...and she's not above using them. Their point that most shoppers are women, and women are drawn in like butterflies to sweet flowers when the performer is beautiful was agreed to readily by Alef.

He wanted his own sort of revenge so sweetly gave up on it being a martial arts performance of the strength kind in favor of the acrobatic kind when they pressed us both in that area (for the same reason - more women shoppers, etc.). He then had to open his own mouth and point out that men find those kinds of feats just as amazing, so we still wouldn't lack male shoppers.

Just as they are all excellent negotiators in words, they are also in coin. They haggled three-against-one poor shopkeeper until they were able to purchase a costume for me that is sufficient, isn't going to trip me so I die (figuratively), "accentuates my good looks" (I had to roll my eyes that even Glocia would join that caravan - it's been a bane of mine on more than one occasion), and only cost a minimal amount.

If it tears as I rip it off when we're done, I won't care. Or maybe I'll burn it off. I'll likely have that much nervous energy left over once we're done. It will disappear in a single flash and then we'll see if Noriko is happy to go in with them so readily.

Ah, she's felt that. Her apology is sent my way. I sigh and forgive her. Such troubles resolve quickly when we can feel each other's emotions, and care enough to repent and forgive. We rather have to, since even without the strange connections I can't let her go and she refuses to leave. By intent, I put out the emotional request into the world that whatever good wants me to do this is going to see we're kept safe from the evil that wants us. I'm experimenting again, but I'm serious.

I'm standing on the top point of the face of the building I'm on at the edge of the bazaar. I've picked a building near enough to our stand to get there fairly quickly. I've already drawn a lot of eyes. When I've got about as many as I can stand, I leap off of the roof peak and perform a straight-legged somersault in the air to land on one foot on a lamp post below me. The other foot I bring up in front of me to cross in front of the leg I'm standing on, and fold my arms. _Sigh_, and I smile.

"A smile brings more people in than anything else, Kizak!" Glocia had scolded me just as fiercely as she likely scolded her mother. Alef had nodded knowingly behind her. Noriko had only looked at me with sober eyes. She agreed, but she knew how hard that was going to be for me. It only works because I know it's false and will bring in coin. I can do just about anything to earn coin by now. I've starved and supported myself for so long I know what it is to accept that kind of humility. That doesn't mean I like to do it.

I put the foot in front of me out straight before me and lean back as far as I can. The crowd gasps in appreciation. Then I'm flipping backwards off the lamp post to land on my feet on the ground. I try for flashy, eye catching, and amazing (all the things I was ordered to give them), and make my audience follow me towards the booth where the others are waiting for me and the customers.

Alef throws two ladles to me. I spin them in the air and catch one behind my back, one in front, as I played with the bats during Nada's tournament. I can do that sort of thing easily, and I'm grateful for the props. Alef begins the sales pitch and I toss him the ladles back and head for another prop I'm used to. I open the bolt of fabric gracefully in front of the girls, including them in the embarrassment of this sort of sale, since they deserve it, too, and Alef rolls with it quite happy to have pretty girls sell his products as well.

By the time we're done, I'm quite exhausted. Alef catches the enamored crowd outside our inn so Noriko and I can rest. She got a little too jealous a few times, although she tried to tamp it down. I took to sending her my exhaustion and distaste for the job. That tamped her jealousy down fast every time, and she sent the compassion I needed instead so I could keep going. Alef and the others praised me, and I'm glad they were able to sell just about everything, but I hope I never have to do that again. It's definitely not my preferred use of my skills.

As we leave the dining room of the inn, the manager stops us and tells us we have to leave. When Alef asks why, we're told it's because we've made too much of a ruckus that day. It smells of a lie, but he insists until we're out on the street with our bags in hand. He was willing to return the coin Alef paid him.

It almost seems as if it's orchestrated by someone of the Bonya clan. Alef runs up from checking the other inns in the area and confirms it. No inn will take us in. They wanted us to pay, and we bested them, so they're trying again.

Noriko points out that no one is in the streets at all, then she and Glocia are seeing shadows of evil. As Glocia clutches at Noriko in fear and Noriko tries to combat her fear so she doesn't set us off, I can also feel a rising darkness, now that I've been trying to learn it. It swirls around an escorted carriage that's coming our way.

The girls cower back from it, then hide behind me as one of the guards turns and stares at us, slowing down to look us over carefully. His power swirls around him, as if he doesn't care if others can tell that he's both powerful and evil. He smells of death and his partner on the other side of the carriage smells of blood and more animal-like than human.

I'm distracted with trying to calm Noriko down so I don't react to her fear. There isn't anything I can nor should do in this situation other than to let them pass by. The guard inspecting us gets yelled at by the person leading the group and finally moves on.

"It's windows were painted over and the door padlocked on the outside, did you see it Geena?" Glocia asks. Noriko shakes her head, but I saw that it was a prison carriage from the beginning.

"That's the carriage they reserve to transport people to the tower of the tainted - high government people who've been sentenced to death." We turn and stare at the person who's said it. We don't recognize him.

"This is a bad time of night to be out." Another stranger is also with us. Both are young boys, one a teen, one maybe twelve. Wings flap by and they cry out and cower in terror. "Please, come with us. We have to get off the streets!" They begin to chivy us down the street.

"Ah, wait." Alef interrupts. "Who are you?"

The younger one, who spoke first, answers, "Our master sent us to fetch you. He enjoyed your performance this afternoon and he wants you to come stay at his house since you don't have anywhere else to stay. Please come quickly. It isn't safe."

Well, there isn't anything for it but to go with them. The day is full of sudden strange turns of events: they take us to the minor palace of the city and leave us in the large entry to bring their master to us. Alef and I exchange confused and worried glances. We thought the Bonya had us thrown out to punish us. Why would they bring us straight to them, and not under guard?

"Ch-chimos!" Doros is looking into a large cage hung on a pole. There are a pair of chimos in it and they aren't looking good. "They are not being well cared for," Doros says sadly. "See mine?" He pulls one out to show Noriko the difference. The ones in the cage don't particularly like humans and are upset we're in their space.

I hear the sound of soft cloth and turn to see a young man in opulent robes with a snobbish face catch sight of Doros and his chimos. As he rushes us, I'm already moving to intercept. We don't need more trouble on top of what we might already be in. "Thief! What are you doing with my chimo?"

I grab the man by his upper arms and turn him towards the cage so he can very obviously see the two still in it. "I believe yours are still where they belong." He looks between his and Doros' chimos, then changes his mind, so I let him go. I'm not sure I want to ever touch him again. He's as slimy as Nada.

Standing up he clears his throat. "I am Arkarella son Dororev, the master of this residence." _So prideful._ He doesn't leave a good impression, and I can feel Noriko's complete distaste. We all stare at him for a minute.

"And I'm Salier, his younger brother." Our heads swing around. Leaning in the doorway of one of the entrances to the hall is the man who wanted to take the girls into 'custody'. Noriko groans softly and Glocia reacts just as bad.

I'm getting depressed, at least to resignation. This actually happens a lot when I walk into a new town looking for work. Somehow I end up with the one who wants to hire me in the same house, or at least close to it, as the one who wants to cut my heart out. "Hello," he says, "I was hoping you wouldn't come. I was against this from the beginning, brother. I still say -"

"Salier! This will be good for you, too." Arkarella is waving his hand at his younger brother as if shooing off a pet. He turns to me with a sly smirk and my heart falls further. "You are quite attractive, my friend. I saw your performance in the plaza today and was impressed. Looks and talent in one package are hard to find. In return for my hospitality, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to perform for Mister Hydran tomorrow. He will very much enjoy your performance." He giggles.

Noriko's complete disinterest in such a thing, and her anger, comes across to join with my disinterest. Even without the emotional link I can feel her hackles have raised and she would be growling at Arkarella if this wasn't supposed to be polite company. I appreciate the protection and sentiment. But, as I said, I get this a lot.

I'm going to have to swallow down the embarrassment and unpleasant emotions and play the acrobat one more time. I'm thinking I won't be paid in coin, though. Instead I'm going to be paid in humiliation or we'll all be jailed. Salier curses and storms out, not understanding that he's already going to get his ultimate wish.

"Ah, hey, Kizak," Alef says quietly, stepping up close to me so I hear his whisper.

"Yeah, I know," I answer. "Not much choice." Noriko kindly sends a little gratitude along our connection.

-o-o-o-

We're shown to rooms, then invited down to dinner. There are plush chairs and couches and expensive tables and decorations in this palace. Arkarella is spending his family's money. I wonder if his father knows. Likely his father doesn't care.

The table is set up formally and I'm reminded of the other noble tables I've sat at - an unusual activity for most wandering warriors, but not for one that's "beautiful" enough to catch noble daughter's eyes. I'm just as uncomfortable at this table as all the others. Arkarella has seated us men on one side, women on the other, and I have to sit next to him as if I were the substitute boyfriend...I mean honored guest.

Noriko takes the seat across from me, determined to not be separated from me more than she has to be, and to make the firm, if silent, statement that we belong together. Alef takes the seat next to mine since he has the better noble speaking skills and Glocia, still sticking to Noriko unconsciously, sits next to her. Doros and Niana are the anchors.

I wish Niana could explain that by rights she should be in my spot. I'd trade it willingly. Because she's easygoing to begin with, she takes it without complaint or comment. Really, she does understand we might be in trouble. The glance she gives the rest of us is worried, as if she hopes we can handle being at this table without tripping all over ourselves. I hope the same.

Arkarella begins with a tirade about the worthlessness of chimos. I'm relieved he doesn't understand what he has. Doros wants to refute him, since he thought he had the only two left (plus babies now), but Alef silences him for now, shaking his head at Doros. Wise, in my opinion.

Arkarella moves on to buttering me up, offering to introduce me to people in high places of government. I refuse, completely disinterested, but Alef interrupts by kicking me in the ankle hard enough to make me freeze in pain. It takes everything I have to not cry out or chop him in the neck. That was quite unnecessary.

"Sorry, small talk is not one of my friend's talents. He'd love to meet your friends, and nothing would make him happier than to entertain your guest. Ah...I understand he is escorting a prisoner. May I ask who it is?"

While I think Alef is going to pay for that later, I'm just as happy to let him take over the talking. That's when I decide he's such a good merchant because his specialty as commander of the guards was in interrogation. He can dish out torture and get this noble to speak up all without blinking an eye.

Arkarella sits back and takes an appreciative drink of his fine wine. I glance at Noriko. She's looking at her own glass, worried. I suspect she'd like to ask for water but doesn't know how to interrupt at tables like this to do that. I send her a little encouragement, although I don't know if it got through. I'm bottling up everything as best I can. She doesn't need my emotions distracting her, and I don't either.

"Ah, yes." Arkarella looks smug. "The former Chief Cabinet Secretary - a stuck-up scholar if you ask me. Even eccentrics shouldn't cross the Bonya."

He sets down his glass and picks up his knife and fork to cut another piece of his meat. "It has to do with the prophecy. You know, the Sky Demon and the Awakening." Noriko and I freeze in place while he chews his bite of food. "He claims that the prophecy is misinterpreted. He believes the Sky Demon is not evil, but can be harnessed as an agent of good."

He laughs his awful giggle. "Can you imagine it? The Sky Demon is a monster - a demon! Not some imagined hero." He giggles again and works on another bite of his dinner.

_Misinterpreted? He believes the Sky Demon can be an agent of good?_ My eyes go wide and Noriko's eyes meet mine, as amazed as I am that someone we've never heard of believes those things. It's a fanciful dream, that another such person should exist. One who has lived here with the same lore I've grown up with, but who has decided it's wrong. I want to hear what he has to say. What evidence does he have for that belief? Or is he just a madman, as Arkarella believes?

Noriko stays steady, like she did before, and allows me to let the emotions toss me about until I'm able to recover. Her belief that we might have just been handed one of the reasons we're on this new journey is what she holds on to this time until I'm able to agree that it would be along the lines of the paths we've been walking. I start working on figuring out how to get to the prison to talk to the condemned man before his carriage moves on again, without ending up in the cell next to him.

-o-o-o-

Back up in our rooms, which are a suite so we're all sitting together for the moment, Glocia's passionate about saving the condemned man. Alef calms her and agrees with Niana that he shouldn't be left to die. "His death will deal a crippling blow to those who oppose the corrupt government," Alef says, "but I'm not sure what we can do." He looks at me. Alef knows from the news, gossip, and rumors that this man is one of the good government leaders who's likely being framed to remove him from office by those who are greedy or evil.

I lean forward, rethinking my plan. It might be a better idea to win his freedom than to just go talk to him. I shouldn't show my face to the guards early, then. A stranger isn't remembered as well as a face seen a second time. "Tomorrow's guest is the commander of the convoy, right? We may be able to learn more from him."

Alef grins. "Hoh? So you're willing to help, then? That's a relief. I thought I'd have to talk you into it." Noriko is so excited I put my hand on her knee to let her know it's leaking through too much, particularly since we're sitting next to each other. She tries to calm down.

I hear a little scrabble outside the large double-pane window and can sense a person, trying to hide their presence. We don't need any witnesses to us being seditious and we need more information. Moving quickly before that person can move, I leap up and run for the window. I pull both windows open at the same time.

The man is very fast for all I've surprised him. He jumps down into the yard and is running with the long fast leaps I can run. That's even more reason to catch him. If there's someone with special powers here, or even just the top skills of a fine martial artist, then I can't let them get away.

I chase after him, even leaping to the top of the high wall around the land of the palace, then to the next roof over and beyond. Really his skills match mine, but he's not as fast. I grab him around the chest to hold him still and lock his arms down, but what I saw as I was finally close enough to see features has me confused. The face says this is a woman, even the quiet shriek as I surprised him/her did, but the body I hold says man.

"Wait! I'm not your enemy, okay? I'm not resisting, see? I want what you want!" That's enough for me to not let go. She's in a panic - a real one, not a faked one. Did she see what I did earlier and recognize the extent of my skills because she has them also, and knows I'm the better of the two of us? I'm not interested in killing her if I don't have to regardless. I just want information.

Another slower step sounds at the other end of the roof top and a voice I recognize says, "Wei, no! Wei -"

Our eyes meet. "You!" That the old man who was talking to Niana in the bazaar could have made it up to the top of a roof is a great surprise. I saw from that one act of catching her that he was fast, but to make it up here means he's also nimble and has great skills in martial arts as well. I go wary. _Who are these two and why are they interested in us?_

The old man looks between the person I'm holding and me, a puzzled look on his face. Finally he says, "Are you here to rescue that poor man, too?"

At that I'm so surprised I relax my hold on my captive, but she doesn't move, other than to relax slightly herself, letting me know I haven't been lied to.

"I'm sorry we used you and your show to get you into the palace," the old man says. "Mister Hydran is a hedonist, like Arkarella. Arkarella's father is placed high enough in the government that Mister Hydran is likely to accept Arkarella's invitation to come and watch you perform for them. We - Wei, Katarina, and myself, Danjel - are from the Grey Bird tribe. We've been hired to free Secretary Clairgeeta by the enemies of the Bonya clan."

I let Wei go slowly, so she can know I'm not going to harm her, and let her move closer to Danjel. We're on the same side, and they already have a plan in place. I'm glad they did send her to spy on us. We might have caused problems if we hadn't met and talked.

"The brothers who guard the secretary are named Sido and Uda Brunei. We've heard unpleasant things about them, that they are more than human, and that they kill in ways most brutal and frightening. We've been looking for a way to rescue Secretary Clairgeeta without confronting them. In order for our plan to succeed, we need the caravan to stay in town one extra day. That's why we need your show."


	33. Trapeze

I am unsteady. The more the light brightens before me the more I want to flee into the darkness behind me that I understand. I don't understand myself. For all of my life I've wanted to not be there, in that darkness, begged for anyone to give me the hope that I didn't have to live it out as my destiny. Yet, now that I have that someone in my life, and I'm walking that path towards hope and light, I cower away from it.

In learning there's someone else who's been put in my path who can push me even farther on that path, I'm both excited and at the same time almost terrified. I'm being pushed into deeper waters, and it wasn't even Noriko this time.

My heart wants to say it's a proof that there is a Source of All Good, or a demon of light that opposes the demon of darkness. That whatever it is that Noriko has said is sentient but is a force of good does exist and it's placed us here on this path in order to save the Secretary so that I can learn the next thing I need to learn.

I cower from it, want to say I'm not ready yet. I've barely managed to think about what Noriko said the last time I was pushed into deep waters. When I think that thought, I'm saddened by the corollary - that if I must be pushed to move faster than I wish, then our vacation of healing has made us late and we have catching up to do if we're going to be ready for the final confrontation.

Noriko is too excited for me. She wants for me to be able to agree with her sooner, to be able to not be afraid of myself or my future, and to see it as clearly as she does. It's hard to have to feel that when I don't want to be pushed. At the same time, to hear how that excitement comes out in her words is rather funny. She talks even faster and with great excitement.

A few times I almost have to stop her from saying things she really shouldn't say, but she catches herself quickly and moves on so fast the others don't really catch on. I suppose that's enough distraction while we men plan the details of what we'll do here in the palace to keep Lord Hydran and his guards distracted.

As I escort Noriko into our room, she's still talking animatedly. I laugh silently at her and she huffs at me in mock irritation. "You're just as excited as I am," she points out.

I grab her and pin her to the bed with one hand. "I think I will have to hold you here until you pass out, or you won't sleep." Noriko wiggles and squirms, but I don't let her go. I'm paying attention, but I'm irritated enough to firmly refuse. I need to distract the both of us, or neither of us will be able to sleep. Noriko freezes, staring up at me. I'm changing and the change holds her enrapt.

We learned quite by accident as I was practicing increasing my strength to control the various levels of power I hold within me that I have a formidable weapon against her. It's my favorite and I've been working very hard to be able to learn this combination. This is a good night to use it, to show her what I've learned. I'm needing the reward for twice having to do a thing I find abhorrent.

I feel Noriko's heart rate increasing under the hand I've pinned her down with. For the first time, I know it's not fear. This time she lets me feel what she feels. It's rapt anticipation. I smile a wicked, rewarded smile - just enough so she can see my elongated canines - so I can feel what she feels when she sees them. They frighten most people. Not Noriko. A thrill goes through her and her breath quickens just ever so slightly, as if she's begging me to show her more.

I move to kneel on the bed next to her to be more comfortable, although I keep her pinned down. I don't want her moving. I want to see these reactions as I feel them. "That really is very interesting, Noriko," I say. She doesn't say anything. She's still waiting, still begging.

Slowly and carefully I increase my power and focus. I know my hair is changing to blue because Norikos' eyes go to watch it, surprised. I'm pleased. My hands didn't change into claws, nor has a horn grown out of my forehead. It's taken a lot of effort and time to reach the point I can change things individually that used to come together.

"Izark!" Noriko breathes in praise, her eyes going wide. She squashes impatience quickly, and then with a little more difficulty her desire to touch my hair. I shake my head at her. Now isn't the time to touch. I'll lose my focus.

When she's settled enough and her eyes have moved to look at mine, asking if I can do the final attack against her, I focus one more time and increase my power that one little step more. Her eyes are fixated on mine and I know I've caught her.

When she looks into my brilliant sapphire eyes she can't move and only her deep desire for me remains. She admitted to me the first time, even though it had been so obvious, that the color of my eyes is her favorite color and it draws her as a moth to candle flame, to dance with them even if she must get burned.

We weren't ready yet to play with that fire, but I promised her that if this combination was what would please her most, then I would learn it. Her desire is rising to overwhelm, and I move to hold both of her hands down. It isn't time to act on that yet. I'm also careful to not let my blue hair touch her, as it falls towards her from my leaning over her. Even that light a touch will interfere.

"This particular combination is rather tricky, they are such small pieces of the different levels. ...It's interesting to get to feel what your reaction really is."

Noriko looks desperately from one close sapphire eye to the other. "Kiss me, and you'll really find out," she dares me boldly. "Just don't poke me when we explode." I know she's referring to the horn. She understands that because we're connected, I may lose control.

Her desire is almost more than she can restrain any longer. I want to know what Noriko will do, and I want the reward. My hair brushes her face and she moans as her desire slips loose of its bonds. I turn my head so that if I lose control I won't hurt her. I'm focusing on not letting the claws out when she rises to close the final brief distance between us and our lips meet.

The woman Noriko who loves to be loved washes over me in a warm flood and we drown most pleasurably because it's more than she can hold within her. I'm washed by her desire and love for quite some time in the most enjoyable way I've ever experienced. Blue - is a beautiful weapon. I swear I will learn how to make this come easily to me so that I can have this gift. Frequently.

-o-o-o-

I'm in a hallway of interconnected rooms so that I can't really tell if it's room after room after room, or a hallway really. Behind me and before me is empty. No one hears my call, no one comes to comfort me. What I seek is missing, and I'm as empty as these rooms. My fear rises up in me and that makes me even more afraid, but there's something pressing against that fear...something that doesn't go with this nightmare.

Warm sunlight pours across my face, waking me, and I realize that Noriko's excitement is high enough again this morning to push against even a dream fear and prevent it from overwhelming me. As she turns towards me from opening the curtain over the window, she says, "Isn't this a beautiful day, full of sunshine and light?"

I've already flung an arm over my face. To go from such a dark and empty dream to sudden stunning sunlight is a representation of the place I've found myself walking in and it's too much. I don't want to rise. I want to sleep longer. I don't want another nightmare. I want Noriko. I want her to tell me that everything will be okay, that even if I'm pushed faster than I can go, at the end will be a result I want, not more fear, more despair. I'm tired of the fight. Sleeping more won't help me, so I drag myself to sitting up in the bed.

"Izark, are you feeling okay?" Noriko asks, somewhat worried.

I run my hand over my face to wake up a little more and to move my hair out of it, then rest my elbow on my knee. My head is so heavy I have to rest it on my hand. I fight depression, which pushes against the light spilling into the room through the uncovered window.

Noriko moves to sit on the side of the bed with me, still worried. I reach for her and gently touch her face. She doesn't need to worry for me. "I had a dream is all," I say. I still want her to answer the fears it brought up, although I shouldn't be such a young child to have to need it. Still, she is here.

I let my hand fall and can't look at her, it's so childish to ask for this comfort. "I was looking for you and all I could see were endless connected rooms. I called for you and you weren't there." The pain in my heart leaks out at the telling. Noriko reaches up and puts her palm on my heart and works to send only a small amount of comfort to me.

I need more and reach for her and pull her to me. It's her arms I need, to heal me with her peace and comfort. "Please, Noriko. Don't disappear. Don't leave me. I need you more than ever."

"I won't, Izark. I'm here, and I've promised I'll always be here. Even if you can't find me, I'm still here. I will always return to you and stand by you." She wraps both her physical arms and her emotional ones around me, like she did in the wagon before.

She works to learn what level of emotional comfort will match the level of fear and pain within me but not overwhelm me, and I'm grateful. It's comforting to know that her surety and love are as large as my fear and worry. It helps to know it's even bigger, but that she won't overwhelm me with it. It's already hard enough to be reminded of that. At this level, I can rest and receive the comfort I need to return to a level of peace I can continue forward from.

"Izark, my dream was similar - after the attack, do you remember? When the evil was coming and I was chained down and couldn't move, I also couldn't find you or feel you. But you were there when I woke." I nod, remembering how I was initially afraid she was having the nightmare because she'd seen me change. She'd denied it, but it had still been hard to push my fears and worries of that day aside. Still, she was also here when I woke up, to shine light on that empty fear.

When I've recovered enough from the fear to set it aside again, my gratitude that she's here and in my life rises to join with my love for her. Because I still don't want to face this day, nor really to rise from my bed at all, I choose to fall back onto my bed, pulling her with me to kiss her. She's too closely linked emotionally to me and I've trapped her.

It's interesting to me to learn that even so, her mind is still aware and works like it usually does. For all she is chaotic emotionally, she's learned her own strengths from it in how to work logically around it or with it. She sends the emotion of "practicality".

Because I'm experimenting, and choosing to be lazy, I send back the heart-cry of the child again. That makes her hesitate, giving me the opening, and I attack physically by beginning to turn my hair blue for her while at the same time I emotionally ask and tease.

She relents to my temptation. I leave my hair blue as she interlaces her fingers into it. As long as I'll pay that price, she lets me do as I will. It really is a bad weakness for her to have, now that I can exploit it. It pleases me to know that there is no other being or creature on the face of this planet that can have her this way.

Experimenting one more time, at the end I give Noriko sapphire eyes. She's able to merely get lost in them without the desire overwhelming her again. It's a softer and more pleasant thing. Then I touch her, wanting to feel with my fingers the softness I can see on her face and feel inside my heart. Just that single touch is sufficient.

I enjoy spending almost an hour experimenting with what blue does to Noriko. She's worn out after that, and I leave her with a kiss and silent laughter to recover with an early morning nap. It's turned into a good morning after all, and I'll be able to face the rest of the awful things of this day in a much better mood.

-o-o-o-

It's afternoon, not long after lunch. We ate our meals in the kitchen with the house staff. Arkarella entertained Mister Hydran at a formal lunch. We're waiting for Alef, Doros, and myself to be called as the final entertainment. I'm using Noriko's excitement to balance the reluctance I have to perform again. If I remember that her excitement is because our reward is we get to meet Secretary Clairgeeta, then I remember why I also want to have us win his freedom.

We're experimenting and practicing. Noriko keeps bouncing between general worry which doesn't last very long, disgust that I have to perform in front of two hedonists, and the excitement of meeting Secretary Clairgeeta. I'm getting lots of practice blocking her emotions. I've started with trying to imagine or intend a shield like I use energy shields. I've rotated through the various energies I know how to use, including trying to use light energy. None of those worked well.

Using my will to press my emotions down, then using it to try and force hers down works to some small degree. When I push on hers, my "pressure" slips and slides against her emotions. It's really only her own attempts that pull her emotions back.

If we can't figure this out before I have to go in, and Noriko can't stay emotionally stable enough through my performance, things might go badly, and neither of us want that. There's one more emotion that she can't prevent slipping out every so often. It's a troublesome one.

Lori Arikowa, the constable, is a Clairgeeta sympathizer. The plan is that he'll be helping the Grey Birds get Secretary Clairgeeta out of the jail, disguised, meet up with them, and get out of town. We'll leave as soon as the performance is over and travel to a meet-up point, then all travel together until we get Secretary Clairgeeta to the place he needs to be. Those who hired the Grey Birds have a safe place to keep him hidden away.

Knowing we'll see Lori again soon sets Noriko's fingers to itching every time she thinks of him. Because I've now experienced it intimately, I have my own emotions to repress at the same time as hers. Noriko's embarrassed when it slips out, and I hope she's practicing very hard with that one. I don't need to relive it. I've thought of a few drastic things to try, and when she slips again, I try the first one.

Before Noriko showed me what it was like to want to play with a man's hair, she let me glimpse how she sees me. I also have hair she wants to play with, but that isn't the only thing she feels when she thinks of me. I try giving her something different to focus on.

As she looks up at me apologetically again, I move sinuously and give her a flirtatious look. It's a thing I've seen many times as a bodyguard and swordsman for hire, but never tried to perform. I'm usually running from girls looking to walk with a beautiful man.

It works far better than I thought it would, surprising me. She's firmly and suddenly caught. My eyebrow raises slightly and I can't help giving her a teasing look. Who would have thought she would feel the thrill of flirting? I test a more obvious movement, flipping my hair so it flows around my shoulder to my back. She's even more mesmerized watching flowing hair and me in combination.

I have to turn away to keep the laugh inside. Her reaction is so humorous and I really can't believe I just did such a thing. I would never have done it before, except for desperation, which has made me even think to do it in the first place.

Noriko silently agrees with me that it was very humorous and very out of character for me. She also has to turn away to recover. If it's possible to distract her in this way, I think I could learn to change my character for her. After all, any weapon to give me what I want most is agreeable. By the time she turns back I'm prepared to practice.

I keep it up until we hear the sound of a bell being rung in the room Arkarella and Mister Hydran are in. That's the cue to begin the entertainment. I calm down immediately and push back on her. Noriko takes a deep breath, lets it out, then nods, promising to hold all the emotions inside tightly so I can properly do my work.

It takes longer for the red of embarrassment to leave the faces of Glocia and Alef. Noriko's face flames red in response, and she mumbles an apology for being too unrestrained in public. As we men enter the room, Alef whispers to me, "Was that really necessary - in public?"

"You have no idea," I answer dryly. "I tried everything else to distract her from wanting to come kill these two. Reminding her that I only have eyes for her was all that would work." Alef's face goes red again and I silent laugh at him. Teasing him is also fun.

Doros is our starting act. We made a bet with Arkarella. If Doros could train the nearly-wild chimos he had to do tricks in a short time, Arkarella would let us have them. Doros does it handily. He can communicate with animals similarly to how I can, and they trust him and his slow moving energy.

Mister Hydran is unimpressed and Arkarella sends Doros out with the chimos. That's relieving. Now, once the baby chimos are weaned, we'll have one for each of us. Our goal is to learn to teleport with them so our journey to find Gaya and the others doesn't take as long, and so we can escape from bad situations if we need to. Doros leaves the room to stand with Noriko who'll help him know when to make his next entrance.

Now it's my turn. Alef is the master of ceremonies, being the narrator for my performance. Salier chooses to join me on his own. He's already part of the plan, but we thought we would have to talk him into it. I perform feats of agility and strength - at the expense of Salier's dignity - until finally Alef hands me one of the pieces of fabric left over from the store that we attached to a pole. It's time for the finale.

I wave the cloth around to make it flow beautifully, using just a little wind energy to make it float and billow with more grace. At just the right time, when I've completely hidden Salier from the view of the other two men, Doros appears behind the cloth to grab Salier, then disappears again.

I flip the fabric back to expose the empty space, catch the end of it in as dramatically beautiful a way as I distracted Noriko to keep their full attention, then bow to my small audience. They are in open-mouthed amazement at the trick of making Salier disappear.

As Salier's cries of dismay and terror come from outside the patio door of the room they're in, we turn and leave them behind. They're now distracted by him. It's our turn to take our leave. Everyone pauses long enough for me to flame my costume and put on real clothing again. We're gone well before the word gets back to this palace that Mister Clairgeeta has escaped.

Katarina gets the wagon going as soon as we're in it, since she knows the road we need to go on. Doros puts the chimos in the basket with the others back with us and rides in the front with her, taking the reins from her. I sit next to Noriko to hold her hand, although that's the closest I want anyone, and even that's brief. What I really want this time is a long soaking hot bath with copious fragrant soaps and a sympathetic Noriko to help me get properly clean.

"Kizak, you're really an excellent performer. How about we go into the business together? You perform, I'll be your manager?" Alef is full-on merchant, and after complaining about wanting to go back to just being a soldier again, too.

I'm watching this time and grab Alef's hand before it can reach my shoulder and put it on the floor of the wagon and hold it there firmly. If I can't even touch Noriko for very long after that humiliating display, I won't put up with anyone else coming even close.

Alef stares at our hands. "Okay. I get it. It was just a thought. ...Can I have my hand back now?"

Noriko leans back against the wall of the wagon, understanding I need a bit more breathing room, her hands locked around her knees. She's carefully keeping her emotions at the lowest levels. I'm grateful and with enough scolding Alef also lets me have breathing space. The chimos start to fight, not ready yet to be a mixed family, and I trade places with Doros. Driving the wagon team will give me the opportunity to get even more breathing space.

Alef asks Doros if the chimos can take the wagon and all of us directly to Secretary Clairgeeta's wagon. Doros explains it doesn't work like that. Glocia suggests that if we speed up we might be able to catch up. They're impatient to reach Secretary Clairgeeta, to see if he'll help in the group effort to get good people together.

"No, that wouldn't make a difference," Katarina turns around to explain. "We're on a different road. This is the main path. They're taking the back roads. We'll get to the meeting place about the same time."

Niana turns and points into the woods. "Are they on the road over there? The Brunei brothers are on it."

"What!?" Katarina exclaims.

I hand her the reins. This was what we were trying to prevent. For them to have found us so fast, they must have special powers. "I need to go help them," I say. "Irktule, protect both me and Geena. Barago, use the chimos to get Geena out to safety if anything happens. Roki, you protect everyone else."

I'm running to the other road and dash down it quickly, fear and despair trying to rise up again. I don't want to lose my second connection to hope. When I see the overturned wagon, it's hard to control that reaction.


	34. World of Light

Beyond the toppled covered wagon is a large furry animal-like monster - as tall as the trees and long of arm. It's just knocked Wei and Danjel back and is about to attack them again. I leap into the air, not slowing my run, and land on its face with both feet, putting wind energy behind the kick to knock it back.

The monster goes flying back about fifty feet or more. I land on my feet and look around quickly, using my wind to place everyone by scent so I'm not surprised later during my battle with the monster, that's only stunned.

A distinguished looking man, younger than Duke Jeida, is being protected from a shorter dark man - one of the Brunei brothers, by Lori. None of them are moving, however, having been startled by my entrance. I look the other way and Wei is helping Danjel to his feet. I don't see the second brother. "What's this? I thought you were fighting with the Brunei brothers?"

Danjel answers. "That's the younger of the brothers. I never imagined all the cruel deaths were because he could transform into a beast."

The man being protected, who must be Secretary Clairgeeta, asks who I am. Lori won't remember our one meeting most likely. He only says, "Danjel seems to know him, sir. He must be on our side."

"Uda must be furious," a deeper voice from their group says. "Once he's upset there's no stopping him."

Indeed the monster - Uda transformed - is on his feet again and preparing an attack - an energy attack that I can feel coming. He has inside him no fear or worry, only anger and focus on me as his prey. I begin to prepare my shield, then change my mind. My shield still goes up, but I put out both hands to send a return energy attack back. I'll need to meet it at some distance from where I stand. The attack coming my way is powerful enough to damage the people behind me if I let it get too close.

The attacks smash into each other and radiate to either side, since I'm not letting the energy come any farther this way. Trees topple to either side for several hundred feet. This is worrisome. I take the fight to Uda, wanting to push him back even farther so any more energy attacks won't hurt the people I need to protect.

He swings at me and I dodge, leaping into the air to then slam my heel into his head. If I can weaken him quickly, or knock him out, will he change back? I spin around and slam him into the ground with a high powered kick to the back of his head.

I've practiced enough now, and have had the peace of the farming village to teach me how to use almost all of my power without becoming fearful or angry. There's no need to be angry when I'd rather he change back to human and repent, like the Grey Bird that transformed did. There's no need to be afraid when even the Source of Evil is afraid of my power. I cannot die and I cannot be defeated.

Those were things I learned in that village as I worked there. Every little or big thing I can do to help others is a thing to be quietly proud of, and grateful for. Noriko saying she was grateful I'm the Sky Demon so I didn't die at that time taught me that. So I don't transform now when I fight. Only when I want to and how much I want to. Even that is an accomplishment to be quietly proud of. I'm grateful for the time we had there.

I land next to Uda, who growls just a little. Then faster than I thought possible, his hand is coming down to smash me. He's so large I'm surprised at his speed - and that he wasn't stunned for longer. I manage to dodge that blow but the next one catches me and throws me back. He's after me so fast I can't get away and his hand comes down on my shield that I've pushed out from my body to block the blow.

Blow after blow rains down on my shield, making it ring almost. He's so fast I can only hold it in place. When Uda finally pauses to rest, both arms are badly damaged and one hand is missing at the wrist. _What!? He used enough force to tear his own hand off? Does he not feel it? Doesn't he care what he's doing to himself? Why is he still fighting?_ He's not like Keimos, to demand that he win to show he's stronger. Has Uda really turned into the monster? It turns my stomach and I'm confused.

And yet, he shivers and draws on more power and his elbow is coming to land a fierce attack on me. I dodge this time, not wanting my shield to continue to do damage to him. "Stop! You'll die if you keep this up! Don't you understand?"

My words only anger Uda more and the blows rain down in a mad pattern, as if he really is already gone and the monster only knows it wants to destroy. That does worry me. I felt like that, too, when I was almost lost to the Sky Demon and it only wanted destruction. _What can I do to help him?_

Irktule told us about evil seeds being in the Grey Bird's gut, that had entered him and made him transform so horribly. Maybe...maybe if I can expel them, using the method I used on Noriko when she had the disease insects inside her gut. Then I won't kill him and he may be able to recover. Uda's pretty big, so I'll have to use a large attack, and I can't get close, so it will have to be a distance one, but if I'm careful...

I gather the energy in my hands and focus it directly at his lower midsection, then release it in a steady stream so that it can have the time to remove as many as possible. The energy slams into him and washes the evil seeds out of him. He has so many that even I can see the dark cloud of them leaving him on the other side from where I am. Many of them have eyes, and are actually the evil spirits that frightened Noriko.

Uda is knocked back and lies limp on the ground. I wait and watch, hoping it was sufficient he can return to human form. Instead, to my utter astonishment, he fades into fog and blows away, as if he was already so much the monster there isn't anything left. Was he only a physical host to the evil? Was he dead long before now? This isn't what I wanted, nor had hoped for.

I hear from two different people - one of them Noriko - "Izark! Look out!" I turn and from above is coming an attack. I run but am already too late. A strange spiritual goo that I can't really feel and can barely sense holds me from moving. It doesn't hurt, but it's pulling something out of me that then snaps back into me as I'm let go and dropped to my feet again.

Uda's brother comes out from the trees near me. "I've never been beaten. I've absorbed your strength and abilities and replicated them. I will happily make you pay dearly for the life of my brother by beating you with your own power."

Sido's words don't sink in for a while. He keeps talking, though. That makes me wake up and become very afraid and I have to tamp my fear down. Until he actually moves I can't believe he was able to do that. "This power is fantastic! Can you feel it moving through me?"

He suddenly freezes and a look of concern comes on his face. I've seen that before, too, when the Grey Bird didn't understand what taking in more evil power meant and it was too much for him to control. I'm a little less afraid now, but worry is increasing. I've had to work very hard to learn to control the power within me. If he's absorbed it all in one moment in time, it's very likely he's never had to control this much coming into him at once. What will his body do?

I can only watch with everyone else. I'm saddened at first, that as the transformation begins he can only cry out in surprise and fear. Horror rises in me as that turns to pain and terror as his body is distorted and enlarged, ripped apart by the power. Uda likely had his power come in incremental increases that he could control. This is different, and Sido never expected it.

"The power ...doesn't stop ...overflowing ..." The words are pitiful, the scene horrific as the terrible transformation continues without stopping. His final words are, "What ...are you? ...What ...are ...you?" and then he's exploding into a hideous shape of smoke. It's winged and the horned head with flowing hair, claws ...all remind me of what I become when I'm the Sky Demon.

I'm frozen. The shape of my power is my shape. Surely it's given me away to have everyone here see it. They know he absorbed my power and my power did that. I can't turn around. I can't move. I've promised to protect. I've promised to serve. And Noriko is behind me. I can't run away, I can't face these people, and I can't face that what I saw is me.

My heart is seeking Noriko, seeking her warmth and comfort, to hear it will be okay. I can feel her coming. Her gentle reassuring voice unthaws me enough I can see again. "Izark. Izark. I'm here."

I manage to get my frozen body to turn towards her. She slips on a slope she didn't know was between us and I'm suddenly with her, holding her in my arms tightly. I moved so fast her feet dangle, coming nowhere near to falling towards the ground. She tightly wraps her arms around my neck and holds me, sending as much comfort as can match my paralysis of fear.

"_It's okay. It's okay. I'm here._" Her words and her surety that I am what I am fill me with what I need. She kisses my neck and I shiver, finally able to overcome my paralysis enough to bury my face into her neck so I can hide from what I saw.

I'm able to begin breathing deeply again, although I still want to run rather than face anyone. I hold on to her tightly so I don't yet. Running will surely give us away and I can't back out on our promises. I still need to learn what Secretary Clairgeeta knows.

I need her to explain it to me, if she can, so I can understand. "_The power overwhelmed him. He never even got the chance to attack. He transformed horribly, then exploded. I don't know what monster the final shape was, but the whole thing was frightening._"

The Teacher comes to my rescue. "_It's okay, Izark. If he didn't attack, you didn't have to defend. ...The shape of the cloud was a dragon, Izark. That is what they look like._" I freeze in dread and fear again. She's okay with me being _that?_

"_No, Izark. That wasn't you. That was him, and what he could never be. He tried to become a dragon and it wasn't possible. You won, and you won honorably. Please, don't be afraid. ...That is what I'm not afraid of. Please. Don't be afraid of it. Don't be afraid of yourself. I love you._"

She's too desperate because I can only be horrified now that I've seen a dragon for myself. She tries to correct herself, taking a deep breath. I echo it, needing to calm down, and set her on her feet gently. The others are moving, coming out of their own shock and horror.

It was a horrible scene, and perhaps too emotionally charged to begin with. She sees with different eyes and her eyes see me as light, not dark like that was. I try to put it aside to think about more later. Later she and I'll be able to talk while we're alone and she can explain it to me more. It's difficult, however. I stand in her swirl of calm surety in my goodness and try to let it heal me, but it's difficult to do more than let it be a temporary bandage for now, a thing to cling to like to a life raft in my stormy sea that threatens to drown me again.

The longer it takes me to settle, the more firm she becomes until she's unwavering in her faith in me. _How can she believe it even when she knows all that she knows - including what a dragon really is? What the Sky Demon really is? How is it possible?_

I look at her, confused, lost. She looks at me with the eyes of the Teacher that will not be swayed and will lecture me until I give in if I let her open her mouth. She holds the words in, willing to let me come at it in my own way and time, but I know I'll never sway her from her position. Knowing that settles me finally. We can have the argument and lesson later.

"Danjel, what was that thing we saw, the cloud shape in the sky?" It's Katarina, come from the wagon. I swallow and we carefully turn to look at the others, Noriko being my courage to do so yet again. I wonder if Noriko will answer it. Alef has also come with Katarina. They're all giving each other nervous glances, not sure how to answer the question. It wasn't a creature or monster of our world.

"Ah... that was...," Danjel doesn't know what to say.

Alef looks at the others, surprised by their reaction. He turns to Lori. "Do you know what it was?"

Lori tugs at the neck of his shirt and looks away. "Well...the older Brunei brother said he was capable of absorbing his opponent's powers and abilities. After he absorbed Kizak's, he turned into a horrible monster, then... evaporated into the sky, making that shape."

Noriko holds very still. Her hand holding my sleeve tightens a little but she doesn't say anything. If anything she's now as ready to run as I am. That helps me, too, to know that she'll go if I decide we must. I'm still holding onto her arm needing that much still to anchor me.

"That shadow was a reflection of Sido's inner self. The force he took in created it." We all turn our eyes to Secretary Clairgeeta, who has offered an answer to all of us.

"Doctor Clairgeeta?" Danjel asks. Noriko's interest spikes at the new title Danjel gave Clairgeeta. It takes me a moment to work out that it's because she wants to be at a university and that's a university title.

"Force is force. It's just physical power. A man's inner self determines the character of the force he manifests. In other words, whether a man manifests a good force or a bad force depends on which world his 'mind' belongs to."

Doctor Clairgeeta holds up a hand and puts his thumb and forefinger close together. "Sido had very little capacity to contain power inside him. He destroyed himself by absorbing more power than he could accommodate." Yes, that's what happened from my experiences. Like when Noriko teaches, I'm waiting for the more to explain the first part. That's the part I want to understand.

"The world we live in is greatly affected by another world that we can't see. Our world affects this other world as well. The nexus between the two worlds exists in our minds." Doctor Clairgeeta puts his fist on his heart. "If one is attracted to the world of darkness he'll generate darkness. If he chooses the world of light, he'll generate light. The tension between darkness and light produces a variety of effects in our world."

I chose light but was doing good before then. But I was as much...no, I _am_ as much darkness as I am light. Do I stand at the nexus? When I chose light, did I move to there, or begin to? It's possible to do good while standing in darkness? I know it. I was already doing it. Have I been walking towards or in the light the whole time I've been drowning in darkness?

I begin to drown again in confusion and stop thinking. Now isn't the time. I hope Noriko's going to think hard about this. I understood what he said, but trying to apply it to me is going to be a large task, I think.

Doctor Clairgeeta is headed towards Noriko and I. "Our seers tell us that the world will soon be beset with conflict. Evil forces have apparently grown stronger. Those of us who oppose this growing evil are being removed from positions of power in our countries. However, we may still be able to reverse this trend." I raise an eyebrow slightly. He also believes we can return to peace, like Noriko.

"I believe that the world of light can overcome the world of darkness. If we can open a pathway to the world of light, we might even be able to change the Sky Demon from a force of destruction into a force for good." It's already happening, because Noriko's already put my feet on that path, and that's a change I'm working hard for. That part I don't have any doubts about.

"I believe that the world of light exists in the core of our being." That's where I found it that one time and where I keep looking for it to find it again.

Doctor Clairgeeta arrives next to us and smiles at Noriko and me, then turns to face the others. "That is my theory. Danjel told me someone was interested in my ideas, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to talk a little about them." I'm grateful he's told us now, so that if we still have to run I have them to consider properly.

He turns back to me. "You are an amazing man. You have tremendous power within you, but you control it very well." He holds out his hand. "Thank you for saving my life."

I stare at the hand for a moment, surprised a little that he's willing to take my hand. It must surely take courage to even offer it, for all he is likely grateful to still be living. Pushing down my own reticence to touch, I slowly move to take his hand in mine.

"_Izark. He can tell. He can tell but he stepped in and said all that to protect us, and to help us._" Noriko lets me feel her wonder. She also shows me how open and expanded her mind and understanding feel. I'm relieved the Teacher has been placed on the next path of learning we need.

"_The world of light - the force of good - has given us a gift, and moved us closer to understanding how to reach our goal, in one giant step. I'll need time to understand it all, but..._" She can only let me feel that same wonder again.

She's equated the world of light Doctor Clairgeeta mentioned to the entity of good she's seen? That makes me wonder at her and I look at her, wondering how her mind turns in that way. I'm also not quite sure I was ready to be pushed a giant step forward, but it feels like it might be _her_ giant push, not mine this time. I'm still wrestling with mine.

She smiles encouragingly at me, a happy smile, full of the light she wants to expose my darkness to. I'm grateful she restrains it for right now, and I'm glad she doesn't mind giant pushes forward. I would like to have her answer when she learns it. If she believes that Doctor Clairgeeta is willing to help us and protect us, then I can only be even more grateful.

I look back at Doctor Clairgeeta and firm my grip on his hand. "Thank you," I say with great meaning and depth. I wonder if he will understand it, if he understands who we are.

Doctor Clairgeeta releases my hand and looks to Noriko. She smiles at him. "Thank you," she says softly. Her words also convey more than she is saying. Doctor Clairgeeta's expression says that he's also learning, processing what we are and have done in front of him today, but I only feel a quiet conviction coming from him. Similar to Noriko's but quieter.

-o-o-o-

Introductions over, we're on the road again and Noriko's impatient. I am also, honestly. I want to know as much as she does. I listen to their conversation from the seat of the wagon where I'm driving the horses from. Alef is sitting next to me.

He's confused but not afraid. Only those who were in that place to see it all are afraid - except for Doctor Clairgeeta. I ignore the other's looks and nervousness since I can't do anything about that except continue to be myself, and pay attention to the teaching.

In one reading, while still a student, Doctor Clairgeeta came across a brief passage about the world of light and its counter-effects to the world of darkness. It caught his attention and over time he wandered all over the continents looking for ancient writings on the world of light and how to access it. Based on his research and meditations, he finally come up with the theory he explained earlier.

"How can we open the path to the world of light?" Glocia asks him.

"It has to do with our inner selves. Sadly, the ancient writings don't specify how to do it. The best I've been able to understand it is that each person has to come up with their own interpretation and find the path themselves - at least I haven't been able to describe it to anyone and have them understand just from my words how to do it. I think they didn't write it for the same reason. It's too difficult to put into words, even when experienced."

Noriko quietly asks, "Have you found it?" He doesn't answer, but I feel Noriko move and follow behind her at a distance. It's like moving inward to feel the emotions and to help the other one of us feel theirs, but it's outside the emotions. I can't follow her very far, but I recognize it. She's doing what I do when I sink into my power to learn what it is and how to control it. She isn't gone long before she surfaces again and I can feel her pleasure to have learned something new.

"Is the nexus between the worlds at the join between the mind and the heart?" is Noriko's next question. That's different from what I wondered. I see it as if the world of darkness spreads out behind me and the world of light in front of me, because that's the way I'm choosing to face and have always chosen to face, even when I was in the middle of the darkness. I've never faced the world of darkness. It's why I wondered if I stand at that nexus now, or very close to it.

I still can't stand next to Noriko who's fully in the world of light. That's too bright for me as of yet, but the push behind me has always been to get me there, to where she stands. I guess I feel like I'm at the nexus now because this most recent push is one to push me completely out of the darkness and into the light. It's the one step I'm afraid to take, to leave the darkness completely behind when it's the only place I've understood until now.

I feel a power rise up behind me. It's gentle and full of peace and love. I look over my shoulder in surprise. Noriko has her hand over her heart and has her eyes closed and her head bowed. Before it can become too great, Doctor Clairgeeta gently touches Noriko. She opens her eyes and looks into his, then slowly the power is drawn back into her again. When she's settled it within her, I feel a thing I'd never thought to feel again. Emotional peace. The place where we are connected emotionally has become quiet, calm.

Doctor Clairgeeta turns to the others and continues to answer questions and I listen to them. Eventually I feel Noriko fatiguing and the strong level of peaceful quiet is let go but the emotions are still a lot calmer than before. I'm joyful with relief and gratitude. I will love Doctor Clairgeeta forever for gently teaching Noriko how to find the peace that lets me have my peace back. Surely he must be a master already to be able to do it. We've saved a treasure only we can fully appreciate.

I hope the world will some day be able to properly give him their gratitude for helping save them from the destruction that could have come on them. I've walked another step forward, too, in just that much. To know that he's so willing to teach Noriko and help her walk her path so I can walk the path I wish to walk, gives me the confidence that I also can reach that goal, that destiny _I_ wish to have.

-o-o-o-

At our arrival at the safe house for Doctor Clairgeeta, Danjel asks the de Gilenees if they'll stay and help on the eastern continent. Glocia considers it, then shakes her head. "We should return to Father. It will be good for us to be able to tell him and those with him that there are others here on the Eastern Continent who are working like we will be - to restore light to the world. I do wish I knew where he was, though. It may take us a long time to find them."

Danjel rubs his chin. "We're in contact with the clansmen on that continent as well. I've heard that there are some statesmen who have been banished that went to Ennamarna in the country of Donya. It's also known as the 'Town of Sandy Hideouts'. It's a desert fortress that is a place to itself. You could try looking there. Duke Jeida may have gone to be with them."

Noriko was excited to arrive here. This place is the university of the eastern continent and she finally feels at home. I know she wants to stay and continue to learn from Doctor Clairgeeta, but I've made promises, and she originally said that we might be needed by the world of light to see the de Gilenees returned to Duke Jeida. At the moment I'm waiting.

Doctor Clairgeeta, now dressed in his formal university robes steps forward, his expression again kind and his eyes speaking more than his words. "The folklore of Ennamarna and the writings in that place tell more about the world of light, and more clearly, than anywhere else in this world. It was considered the center of the understanding of the world of light at its height.

"It isn't surprising if good statesmen are taking refuge there. People of that town are protected by the light. It's in a harsh environment but the people lead very fulfilling lives there." He looks directly at me. "You might find it interesting to look into the documents I drew my theory from." Noriko is quite willing to go if it's for that.

Alef turns to look at us. "So, it looks like we've a slight change in plans. We'll head for Donya instead of starting in Zago. All right?"

I look at Noriko. She smiles at me. "Sure," I say. If I can meet my promises and obligations and she can still learn more, then that's the best solution.

Noriko looks at Alef. "It sounds rather interesting to me."

When we leave, Noriko hangs back and speaks to Doctor Clairgeeta privately for a moment. The others are in the wagon and are ready to go. I use our connection to tug gently on her to let her know it's time to go. She hesitates just a little longer, then hugs Doctor Clairgeeta. I can feel her gratitude and love, and her sorrow.

Here she has found a home. I'm sure we'll be back. She'll push me constantly as soon as things are calm enough that we can. She turns and runs to me. She smiles for me but some of the sorrow of missing her family remains. I put my hand on her head to let her know I understand.

I help Noriko into the wagon then turn to look back at Doctor Clairgeeta. His expression asks for me to keep trying hard to find the world of light. He's never once said what he believes or may know. I know he'll keep our secret and am grateful. I bow slightly to him, giving him my promise and my respect.

Doctor Clairgeeta bows his head in grateful response. It's time to move on and study what we've learned from him so we're ready for the next thing the world of light shows us to push us on our path forward.


	35. Studies at Sea

In the port city of Coropori, Alef sells the wagon and horse and pays me. I search the market hard until I find a well made sword. I talk the price down by also buying two knives, one for each of Noriko and I, and the belts to go with them but it's an expensive sword. I need to have one that won't fall apart when I run into Keimos again.

Noriko made Alef buy her yarns and knitting needles when we went shopping in Steny. She's used up the yarn she bought then and I ask if we should go looking for more. I'm much happier having her knit than itching to run her fingers through either my hair or Alef's while we're on the wagon.

I'm a little surprised when she shakes her head and asks for fabric again instead. She'll have to buy thread and needles again. She got the scissors from the de Gilenee's shop as part of the fifty percent off deal Alef gave me.

This time she asks me what color I would like to see on her. That pleasantly surprises me, that she would consider my preferences. I tease her for a bit, but then get serious, also wanting to know what would look good and wanting her to learn more about me since she wants to know.

When I've picked a color, she then compares colors to that color and to me until she picks a complementary color for what she'll make me. When her shopping is done, she gives me a kiss of gratitude. I'm happy to do it to see her content, and for the personal reason I said before.

"Hands busy" is as important to me as the strength she's been learning in keeping her emotions calm and under the surface. Because she's been more internally peaceful I can again allow us to be closer together. I don't have to work so hard to maintain control of both of us. We both still flicker with emotions that rise above the surface, but that's manageable.

She also "anchors" faster now. She says that's what she feels like when she waits for me to come to an understanding myself while she stands firm in her own emotions or beliefs. On the outside when she does it, her Teacher comes to the fore, looking calmly at whoever or whatever is trying to unbalance her. Often it greatly unnerves the person trying to affect her. I'm glad it's not only me.

I'm trying to let it happen without worry. I've worried as long as I've known the Teacher was inside her that it would someday learn proper strength. Doctor Clairgeeta's lessons to her were lessons for the Teacher, and if I want to understand and move forward, I also need to allow the Teacher to grow in strength. It remains a calm strength, so that helps me relax as well.

Like I've learned to not fear, she's also learning it. When she anchors, the fear doesn't come. That helps me be able to quickly and calmly react the way I've already trained myself to. I've thought from early on that she already understands that power and strength come from gentleness, but this is more real. Was the Grey Bird master also a master of light like Doctor Clairgeeta?

We board a ship bound for Donya and Noriko must watch and learn everything about a sailing ship. She tells me privately she's never been in one. Honestly, I haven't either, so I follow her around and learn, too, but only act the bodyguard. She has to lie regularly to Glocia, who wants to know all sorts of things about living on an island. I'm sympathetic to Noriko, but what can we do? She's done a good job with keeping Glocia from being suspicious - better than I would have, likely.

Noriko and I spend our times apart to study. Usually she stands or sits near the railing in the center of the ship while I go to sit on the prow at the front of the ship where the wind plays with the sea. The best energy is there and I'm learning how to draw it into myself so I don't have to get so tired. All four of the energies I have the most affinity to are there. I'll try one more time when we reach land to see if I can tease earth energy out, but it won't matter if I can't, I think.

While Noriko rests from her practicing and studies, she sews the clothes to keep her hands busy. Then she practices watching me lightly and I catch her. We play back and forth in that way throughout the day. Sometimes I can tell she's just focused on me, feeling along the connection that lets us know where the other is. It's something I do without thought still, having learned it early to know where she was. I'm glad she's practicing it. Those times warm me, that she wants to know that I'm nearby.

I also spend a lot of time meditating on the most recent lessons the world of light wants me to have an understanding of. When I think I'm finally ready to face the world of light more directly, I go and find Noriko and bring her back to where I like to sit. She won't fall from here when she has me to hold her, which I want to do anyway since we've been separate most of the time until now, save at night. (The nights are also quiet and enjoyable.)

"Noriko, I think I'm ready to try to walk more in the light. Will you help me?" She nods and takes my hand in hers. Together we turn inward. Like the time in the wagon with Doctor Clairgeeta I go with her. She knows I'm with her this time. She takes us to the edge of the warm strength that's within her, where I saw her go down into it before. It's a sea of light and peace that is so very much like the ocean of power and strength that is within me.

We don't move from there. Noriko just lets me feel it and come to understand it in my own way. When I understand that it isn't something to fear, but can't keep the feeling of being uncomfortable at bay any longer we turn away and return to our bodies again, where we're still holding hands. Noriko smiles at me, proud of what I've been able to do. I shyly smile back. It seems like such a small thing to be proud of, but even I'm pleased I was able to stand in the middle of the light for so long.

"I go down into it when I'm practicing, Izark. Like you take your power and it fills you and then you use it to act on the world, I manipulate that." I didn't know it was that similar. I listen to her lesson with interest. "In there is where we talk to each other - that's at the surface. Under that is where we 'see' each other - the level the seers of this world use is my guess, although I've not tried to see anything other than what we've already been given to see of each other.

"Below that is the emotional connection. I can stand there and see into the full world of light, but it's like looking through glass. I still haven't found the door to cross over into it. It isn't really time yet - not until I've understood the sea itself, I think. And, ..." she hesitates, "I think I can't until you're ready to. I think you're on the other side of the door. Until you're ready, too, the door won't become visible to me. We walk there together already. At the nexus is the door that belongs to both of us. Do you understand?"

Because she sees it as up and down and I see it as forward and back, I wonder if she and I have to meet. I have to walk forward into the light far enough to reach where she's waiting to come down to meet me. I give a little internal laugh to that thought. It will be like I'm running to catch her as she falls off yet another building or cliff. Not really, but it makes me think that. I nod to let her know I understand as best I can at the moment.

"I'm not in a hurry," she reassures me. "I have a lot I'm still learning, and it takes a lot of strength and energy to carry that much power. Although you already know that," she blushes faintly. "So I'm working up my 'muscles', like you are with your powers." I understand that fully. I want her as strong as possible before the final confrontation. Practice is good.

I lean on my lifted knee to look out over the sea. "I think...if I can feel like I can go there, if I'm allowed to ...if I have ...permission, I guess, then I'll be ready." I'm referencing the sea of light that we stood beside. "I still carry the thought that I'm not worthy to be considered human or of the light. That I'm tainted and will bring darkness with me." That lesson ingrained in me from young childhood has been hard to remove, although I've come a long way to stand in that place today.

Noriko squeezes my hand to comfort and encourage me. I look back at her and smile gently to reassure her. "I'm working on that. Doctor Clairgeeta's words were very helpful to me in overcoming that. Knowing that I can choose, both from his words and Zena's thoughts...," I have to smile at her a larger smile, "...and of course your own patient determination, has finally given me enough hope to overcome my doubts. I still have to face them a little at a time, but it's much better than it was."

"I'm so glad, Izark," she says quietly. "I also found so much hope in his words. I'm so glad the world of light is helping us, and allowing us to help others at the same time." She lifts my hand and kisses the back of it and puts it to her cheek.

I take my hand back and pull her close to hold her, wanting my reward. It's peaceful to sit here together on this ship in the sea, like it was in the farming village. We are blessed again to have a time to learn and grow without worries.

-o-o-o-

Noriko and I are standing at the rail of the ship, on the main deck, when Glocia comes looking for us. "Roki wants to see you, Kizak," she says. I raise my eyebrow. He couldn't just come himself?

Noriko takes the back of my jacket and follows along. I look over my shoulder in surprise at her. She only does that when worried or if we're going into a place I may need to protect her. She just shrugs back. I leave it alone. I don't mind the company or closeness and if she needs it, who am I to argue?

We don't spend much time below decks with the other passengers, both preferring quiet and not wanting to have our faces too well known to everyone. Glocia takes us to where Alef is waiting outside a door to a room. Alef motions for me to enter the room and see what's going on inside. I step just into the room and Noriko lets me go and listens from behind me and Alef, who is leaning over my shoulder to speak into my ear quietly.

"See those men? They've been bullying the passengers into gambling with them. I've been watching and I'm pretty sure the dice are loaded. It's really awful." I sigh to myself. Alef really knows too well how to be a merchant and politician. I'll have to wait to hear what I need to hear.

"I didn't think gambling was allowed on the ship," I prompt him.

Alef directs my attention to another set of men huddled in the back of the room. "Those are the ship's personnel who have tried to stop it. They've been cowed and can't act."

"Doesn't the ship have security personnel?" I ask, playing along and guessing where this is going already.

The mark is about to fall. "It would sure be nice if someone claiming to be security stepped in and did something to end their intimidation."

"You're saying...?" I ask tersely. He has the capacity to do it himself, and the practice as commander of the guard.

"We've been offered a discount if you'd be willing to help out."

I pause irritated. "_We_ if _I_..." At least he has learned I won't do it for free.

Alef defends himself (poorly) and with lots of smooth smiles. "Just use that nice new sword you bought yourself in town. It'll be easy for you...right?" He only wants to see me put on another display. It's irritating.

I don't answer him, only turn to walk back to our room. It's easier to get it over with than complain, but my sword is in my room since passengers aren't supposed to be carrying swords and one of them is - and using it to bully the passengers with.

I'm glad I'm already past both of then when Noriko kicks Alef in the ankle and turns her back on him to follow me, because my eyebrows jump up into my hair. I'm quite certain she gave him the same scowl she gave Barago, too. Alef protests that surely it was unnecessary.

She turns slightly to scathingly say over her shoulder, "If you can't just ask plainly and politely, stop getting him into things that you won't touch yourself, _Commander_." She turns her back angrily on him again.

I'm glad I'm in front of her because I'm laughing so hard I can hardly contain it, and she knows when I'm laughing silently. I don't need to have her feisty protecting ire redirected at me.

-o-o-o-

"Izark...," Noriko's been quiet since we left the hallway with Alef standing sheepishly tongue tied for once. She bites her lip as I finish tying on the bandanna she made for me first at the beginning of this sea voyage.

She stays silent, even as I reach for my sword belt. It isn't really like her to not say her words. Instead of picking up my sword belt, I reach for her and tilt her head up so I can see what she can't say. The worry is rising above her calm sea.

She covers my hand that's holding her head and the worry is in her sober eyes. "I'm proud of you, Izark, and I love that you help people naturally and easily. It's just...it's hard now to not be worried every time you say 'yes'. If even one of them learns something they shouldn't and wants revenge once we get to shore, we'll be running again."

I lean toward her and rest my forehead on hers so we're close enough to breathe each other's breaths. It's a small worry to me now. When we were first together I would have agreed with her. I send her my own peace and caring, trying to soothe her worry. She tries to allow it, but it isn't enough. She needs words, too.

"Each time, we have also been led closer to our goal," I tell her quietly what I've learned in my meditations. "You've said it yourself. When we choose to do good for others, the world of light helps us. Some things are just good or nice things to do and life continues normally. I'm happy to do those things, and I'd hate to miss the little thing that leads me to the next lesson from the world of light."

She taught it to me herself. She considers my words, then sighs and relaxes, giving me a nod to let me know she understands. I tip her head farther to give her a kiss. She gives it back to me, gently and long. When we separate, I'm slow to slip my hand off her face, promising us both a proper reward when this is over.

It isn't a large thing, but it is still being on public display. I despise that so much any reward for getting it accomplished is good. The reward of being with Noriko is better coin for me than cheaper fare for the ocean voyage. She'll also want the comfort when it's over. That's how she is.

I'm ready to go, but Noriko is standing in the way with an interesting expression on her face. As if she's making sure that the clothes she sewed were right or wrong. I'm not wearing what she made so I don't know why. She finally turns and walks with me out of the room, but she tugs on me instead of letting me go towards the room where the thugs are.

"Izark, presence is more important, I think. Let's go find a higher-up on the ship before you go." I'm confused but she smiles at me. "Your costume isn't quite completed."

_Oh?_ I follow after her as I can only do when she gets like this. She has to ask many people of the ship's crew until she finds someone who has heavy boots they'll let me borrow for a few hours at most. Noriko makes me take off the soft lightweight boots I own and prefer and replace them with the heavy boots. They're a little large on me and as I walk they make loud clomping noises.

"Really, Noriko?" I'm quite unsure about this. She's walking by my side and carrying my boots.

She stops me and looks me over one more time, her eyes narrowed, again judging what she's seeing so that I squirm a little inside. "You know how I talk about this place being storybook to me?" I'm immediately captured. I want to hear more about that and I've forgotten to ask. I nod that I'll listen.

"In my world there are also moving pictures, [movies], that tell a story in picture, sound, and word. Like actors on a stage, but it's recorded and shown all over the world. How an actor dresses, the sounds their clothing make, how they wear them, all make the image the audience sees. What the audience sees determines what they believe." _Ah_. I've seen a few plays in my time as I've had to escort young ladies at times I'd rather not have. I've also had to play a few acts myself to escape them.

She's satisfied that I understand and continues. "You'll do more good by presenting to them a visual image of what you want them to see than if you try to do it by words alone. Let them see the fear before they hear it. You're already the strong, silent type. You don't have to be flowery in your speech, nor even convincing. Just be yourself - direct and threatening." She grins a teasing grin at me, already believing that most people who don't see me as only beautiful see me as threatening. "But let's set the visual impact first."

I consider what she's trying to do as she looks around, then moves. I patiently allow her to take my sword off of its belt. She picks up a small chain she's found, puts that through the belt loop on my scabbard, then attaches the chain to my sword belt. "Walk." I do so and have to fight a blush. Now I clop in my boots and the chain clanks. She nods, now that they'll hear me coming from the deck of the ship, not just down the hall. _Won't they just run away before I can scold them?_

She then takes her knife belt off where she wears it under the sash of her dress and puts it on me above my sword belt. Her knife is tucked back into her sash, so she won't be without it. "Do you know what a [pirate] is, Izark?" I shake my head, not having heard the word yet. "In this world, are there men who run ships that attack merchant ships, to steal their cargo and run and hide, either to keep it for themselves or to sell it for their own gain?"

I scowl. "Yes. They are called _pirates_."

Noriko nods and rehearses both words, mine and hers, to learn them. "That's the look I'm going for, Izark. They're feared in all worlds when people are on a ship. You aren't being one. You're being an officer of the peace, but I want the fear of the _image_ of a pirate in their minds by the time you talk to them. If you're a pirate king, you outrank them, since they are pirate scum." She looks at me questioningly. "Do you understand? It is [psychological] mind warfare." She points to her temple.

I like that turn of phrase: "mind warfare". I might have to have her teach me the word that came before it. We don't have a word to describe what I've been trying my whole life to do to keep people from wanting to physically fight me. I look down at myself again to see the pirate king.

I summarize to see if I've understood correctly what she's trying to teach. "The image does as much beforehand to create the desired effect, so that the actions have the full effect wanted." I would have liked to have known and practiced this one helpful addition. Many of my fights might have been turned away if I had. It was sufficient, though, I suppose. It wasn't like I could afford extra trinkets just to chase off irritating buffoons.

Noriko lets me know I've understood. "So act like the pirate king from the moment you walk into the hall on the way to that room, so that you have the aura of one by the time you enter it. Be as annoyed as you want to be that the scum who _should_ be obedient to you aren't. Then tell them off, show them they can't best the king, and threaten them if they don't behave from now on."

She grins again. "Be the pirate king who is pretending to be the ship's security officer so he isn't found out that he's on board to take over and they're threatening your plans to take it by butting in where they aren't wanted."

I find it both humorous and a little frightening that she enjoys this kind of play. Particularly when it _isn't_ on a stage, but part of living a real life. To test and tease her, I push back just a little. "You like to pretend, Noriko. Maybe you should be an actress?"

She tosses her head and teases back. "I _am_ an actress, Izark, remember? I'm the Fairy Queen, Treasure of the Dragon, Island Princess of the Gallant Knight."

I know she thinks she's teasing, and I suppose she is, but that's what's worried me this whole time. Because I don't rise to the tease, Noriko looks at me quizzically. I reach for her, not sure what I want to say but wanting to convey my concern for her. When my hand is on her shoulder, to hold her in place and to let her know I'm here with her, I ask mind to mind so others can't overhear us, "_Noriko. Are you ever __you__ while you're here?_"

She understands my concern and is instantly sober. She answers honestly, "_Izark, in my world I'm a teenage high school student, just trying to get decent [grades], hanging out with my girlfriends around the edges. I would never have done the amazing things I've done with you in this world there. Inside, I'm the same here or there, although I've learned strengths, fears, and worries here I probably wouldn't have learned for many more years there._

"_If I were to act the high school student here I would already be dead. I haven't been that since you saved me from the flower insect in the sea of trees. ...I suppose I shouldn't have said I'm an actress. I really am those things here in this world with you, the same as I'm a high school student in my world._

"_Except I __really__ am the Awakening and I have to hide behind the other faces because that's how we keep me safe. So if there is ever a time I'm being the 'me' of this world, it's when I'm researching and practicing to find the world of light and using what little power that gives me. The same as you're only ever really Izark, the Sky Demon, when you're doing the same._"

With a sharp breath, I pull back. That was like being stabbed by a blade to have her say that. I'm researching to _not_ have to be the Sky Demon...but she isn't wrong. I let out the breath slowly, feeling where the truth is. If what we are is the two beings of lore and destiny who don't want to fulfill the dark prophecy, then we are what she's said. It's hard to accept it when said so plainly, but she isn't wrong. I must agree with her.

I'm surprised when a gentle scold is next. "_Don't be sad about it Izark. That's not a good way to go through life. I like having fun with it, when I can, although I don't go to extremes. Reading, watching [movies], those things are entertaining and fun. So is acting, or there wouldn't be actors and actresses."_ My eyes go wide. She's telling me why she's willing to play the various parts. Not just for survival, not just for hope, but because there can be more if one openly acknowledges what one both _is_ and _isn't_.

"_This is one of your rare opportunities to have fun with it yourself. Be the pirate king to the hilt. Swagger, scowl, intimidate, threaten. You won't even get into trouble for it, because you've been asked to do it - and are round-about getting paid for it like a real actor._" She gives me a wry look for that comment.

"_I'll have just as much fun watching and cheering for you, and will reward you afterwards for a job well done. The pirate king always steals the beautiful maiden, after all, and she seduces him to the side of right and good in the end of the most romantic of the movies and stories of pirates._" She gives me a flirtatious look, runs her finger down my jaw, and almost-kisses me, her teasing lips passing tantalizingly near my own. She suddenly has my full attention this time. _She can play this part also?_

I growl, very low and quietly, and grab her around the waist with my hands, holding her still. I don't know if I can match her, but I want to try for just one moment. I put my lips very near her ear. "You, Princess Noriko, ...are very much a handful. I think ...that I will have to take you to my cave when I return and teach you -" It's so hard to come up with words to match this play that I have to stop trying and laugh at her and myself. "It's so strange, Noriko ...but I understand."

I'm surprised again when she pauses and continues the lesson most seriously. "Izark, do you also understand that it's a defense for _you_? If you act it, you will _be_ it. It will be a shield for you." She pushes me back so she can look me in the face. I know she used it this way, to shield herself from fear. "Being the Fairy Queen was a way to face the world so that I could have hope. Being the 'partner' of Izark is a way to face a man with a sword, or a monster, with strength instead of fear."

She points to her temple again. "I may _know_ that I'm pretending, or acting, but when I _do_ it, my body, my heart, my emotions believe it, and react accordingly. They all must be obedient to the mind. My heart may be beating hard and I may be wishing I was somewhere else, but as soon as I force them all to be obedient to what my mind says _must_ be so, then it _is_ so. It's a protection. I'm asking you to protect yourself, not just pretend or be an actor." She's earnest and very concerned that I understand well enough to apply it to myself. She's wanting to protect me, even like this.

But what she's said has captured my mind. I've seen her do it so many times. From the time she lifted me up from the ground to drag me into hiding and defended us with what little strength she had, to every time she uses her scolding eyes and words when she would rather be standing frozen to the ground, unable to utter even one sound. The strength I've had to defend myself has never been the strength to stand up and be. Only to drag myself from day to day, place to place. She's just taught me how to _be_ and _become_.

The concept swirls in my brain and connects to all the other things I've been meditating on during this voyage and I finally understand what I need to do. I need to _become_. "If...if I decide it, in my mind, that I'm a creature of light, even if my heart doesn't believe it, and my doubts threaten to drown me, if I act it ...then I _am_ it?"

Noriko's face goes to wonder and amazement. "Yes, Izark. And the more you practice it, the more you are it until there's nothing left of the doubt and all of you believes it because it _is_ so."

_Yes_. "You've already shown me that."

"What? I have?" She knows only confusion, but then she doesn't watch herself from outside.

I blink at her, then try to pick moments she might be able to see it from. The most recent example comes back to mind. "When you stand by me and are my protector, my 'partner' as you described earlier. From the beginning, you were weak and relied on me, but when you became angry and protective in Calco, you changed to be the opposite. It surprised me then, and every time after then. You don't change any more, though. Now you're always that." She tries to work that one out. Finally she nods. Perhaps it was a sufficient example.

I take from her courage to make it my own sufficiently that I can practice it this time. If I can practice it for a simple task, perhaps I can learn how to do it for the most important one to me and all the world. _I am the pirate king. It's time to put the lesser pirate scum in their place._ I stand tall and do everything I can to take on that persona.

When I think I have it sufficiently, Noriko curtsies to me as if I am a king. It is fun when she's here to play with me, and I think I might like this better than the alternative. Even if I don't play the part well, if I can cow them before even reaching them that would be a benefit. I stride with loud clops and clanks for the room the bullies are in. Noriko follows me but I don't look. I'm sure I'll lose my ability to play my role if I do.

I'm surprised when the part I play calms the other passengers. In the past they would have only questioned my presence for being too young or weak. To wear the costume and the aura changes even their perspective of me.

"Swords are prohibited while on board the ship." I don't let the man move it, holding on to his hilt. He's shocked by my strength. "Gambling is banned as well. I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate these dice." I am the pirate king playing the ship's security, being polite, but underneath warning them they've gone too far to destroy my own conquest. I've practiced that, too, but usually it's unheard.

The man yells and threatens me and I give them the display of strength they require, the same as I would give anyone who would threaten me in the past. I throw the dice into the air and slice them in half with my sword drawn too fast for them to see, to show everyone they're hollow. "They're loaded," I purr smoothly and they pale.

I crumble the dice between my fingers into dust and let it sprinkle slowly from my palm onto the table. They step back. "I wonder if I should hand you guys over to the police when we reach the port?" I ask as if only to myself, and as if I already plan on it ...if they keep interfering.

"We're sorry sir," they say humbly, sweating now. "We'll stop gambling." I raise an eyebrow at the man holding the sword. "And I'll leave the sword in my room," he promises quickly.

I glare at them one more time to let them know I'll be making sure they obey, then turn and stride out of the room calmly. Noriko is standing before the doorway, her arms folded and an irritated scowl on her face, for having her time with the pirate king interrupted for their silly play. She takes my elbow as I pass her and pridefully walks out the door with me. I ignore her as if she should of course be in that position.

It's a position that gives me even more strength soon after, as the ship's crew and captain meet me on my way to thank me for stepping in. I'm given permission to carry my sword with me from then on to make sure the bullies stay quiet. I thank them and between us Noriko and I manage to escape politely back to our room so I can breathe again.

I turn to look at this Noriko finally. She smiles at me. "Very good, Oberon. You've graduated to Fairy King. I, Titania, Fairy Queen, commend you." She drops the nobility and grins. "That's their names in Shakespeare's work, anyway. He was a famous playwright in our world and wrote a play about the Fairy King and Fairy Queen."

I raise an eyebrow. "I wasn't the pirate king?"

"Oh, you were." She gives me a saucy grin and coy look and lets go of my arm. As she steps away from me she sways her hips to make her skirt swirl around her legs. She turns back to look over her lifted shoulder at me as she places her hand on her hip. "But at the end, when you talked to the sailors, you were the Fairy King, so we left that way."

I haven't been able to look away from her, and I _am_ in character now. I purse my lips at her. "Hmmm. I can't decide which one I want to be right now. I've been waiting to graduate from knight to Fairy King for a while now, but I think...," I glide up smoothly to put an arm around her from the side and pull her closer to me with that hand on her free hip. "...I want to know a little more about this one." I narrow my eyes at her and purr, "Who flirts with the pirate king?"

Noriko looks me up and down with an appraising raking look and my breath quickens just a little. "Really?" It's said perfectly and archly. She nimbly steps out of my hold. Turning again to look at me from the other side, she tips her head and gives me a coy look. "You've never seen the [saucy wench]?" She goes all the way and gives me full lightly pouty lips. "I don't even know how to say that in your language. If you've never seen it, how am I to explain it?"

She really has asked for it. Before I can go any further, things need to come off. Things that are in the way. I look down to keep my stern demeanor and deliberately take off her belt, then my sword belt, and then the boots. Carefully I set the belts and sword on the table and the boots under it, still moving deliberately, drawing out the suspense and keeping to the role of pirate king who's in control.

Then I move very quickly to trap Noriko very close to me, my hands holding her at the waist. I've surprised her, but she waits for it. "I think I'm ready for my reward now, _saucy wench_."

I lean down and nibble at her ear and head farther down to nip at her neck, then steal her sash and knife as I allow her to scold and escape so I can trap her again. I'm in heaven at receiving this reward. She can play the woman I've always wanted to have the courage to seduce.


	36. Acceptance

Donya, near the coast, is rolling grassy hills, although you can tell even here it's sandy. We've traveled south by ship and it's warmer here. The farther we get from the sea shore, the dryer the air becomes.

Noriko comes to me and asks if it's possible to send written messages from place to place. It's most frequently done by giving a message to a seer and having them contact a seer in the town you need the message delivered in. There is the rare messenger who'll take secret messages by hand.

When she asks if we can send a message to the mayor of the flower town and ask her to hold on to our things for us, I agree. It would be good for them to know we're still living if they still have our things. I reassure Noriko we'll take care of it at the next town we come to.

At the moment, we're practicing teleporting with the chimos while we're in open fields. The babies are weaned now and old enough to help us, so each of us now has a chimo on our shoulders. Everyone has teleported their first distance, except Noriko. Doros and I are trying to help her, but to go the short distance from where we are to Glocia, Niana, and Alef is even too hard. Her logical and creative mind isn't helping her.

"It's okay, Geena," I put my hand kindly on her head to help her calm. "Just relax. Take your time - we're not in a hurry."

Noriko gives me a slightly peeved look. "That isn't it. I'm both too logical, and it's the wrong order." _What?_ "You go first," she demands and crosses her arms. I've already done it once and come back. I shift, unsure. "See? Follow that feeling."

_Huh?_ I go back to her comment again, and then remember. She always runs to me. To ask her to leave my side makes her too nervous, unsure of herself. I also tend to feel that way in situations that aren't certain. Too many times we've gotten into trouble when we weren't by each other's sides. "Oh."

"Yeah," she nods knowingly. "I could go half-way around the world to get to you. I can't leave you." Everyone blushes but her. "Oh, stuff it," she scowls at us. "You already know I'm attached to him. Go, Kizak." She jerks her head at the others. That didn't help me, but I go, not wanting any more scolding or embarrassment.

Almost as soon as I arrive next to Alef, Noriko is next to me and still talking. "I could make five chimos move me, without touching them, if it's to be next to you, Kizak. I've known that since Barago first caught me in the air as I fell from the wall. I just didn't know that what I already knew was correct."

Alef chokes back a laugh and Noriko glares at him from the side of her eyes. I hold back my own reaction with everything I've got and only nod solicitously in agreement. Even Glocia is careful to avert her eyes this time.

Niana pats Noriko on the back. "Congratulation, dear." That helps diffuse some of Noriko's ire.

Doros appears with us. "I'll practice going to Kizak a few more times, then I might be comfortable enough to go to other people and places." Noriko promises. "This kind of thing is currently unsettling for me." I think it will take at least that long for me to get comfortable with having her chase me around this way.

It's also true in the reverse, though. Since we all have to practice visualizing a place to appear, not just people to appear next to, when she goes first I appear first by her side even a second or two before the rest.

Since even this kind of thing uses energy, although it isn't as bad at the short distances as at the long ones where at least two people are required to synchronize to not collapse upon arrival, we only practice using the chimos briefly every now and again and walk for the rest of the time.

I'm relieved Noriko's feet are toughened up this time. We were on our feet all the time while helping with the harvest and she didn't have access to her other-world shoes. Our travels are cheerful since she and Glocia chat - as long as it isn't about where Noriko came from - and Niana is always full of optimism.

During one practice in using the chimos, Irktule shows up with several of his spirit friends. "Irktule! How is my family in Ennamarna?" Niana is excited to see him. The spirits went to Ennamarna as soon as we were on the western continent and came back to let us know Duke Jeida and his companions were indeed there.

Irktule floats down to join us and his expression is somber. "_Niana,_" he bows his head a bit, "_Noriko, the people of Ennamarna are in trouble._" We cluster around him.

Irktule tells us that the government of Donya wants to invade another country on the other side of the desert, and they want to use Ennamarna as a base of operations. The mayor of Ennamarna has refused and the government is applying sanctions, cutting the city off from supplies from the rest of the country to get them to comply.

Already the government is gathering their army at the edge of the desert in preparations for the march to Yansk. They're between us and where we want to go. We look at each other, worried, but Glocia is determined to continue on.

-o-o-o-

We arrive in one of the towns near the desert and the news of the city is that the army has already begun to march. Alef is finally serious and is resistant to allowing Glocia and Niana to go on to Ennamarna. It's his responsibility to see to their safety, and that way is no longer safe unless we do the long distance synchronizations which has its own inherent possible dangers.

I'm paying attention to the crowd around us, which feels a bit too much like Steny did. Noriko is looking longingly at a booth of blank books, ink, and pens, which we have yet to be able to replace. Suddenly Glocia swears. We've lost Niana again. "We'll go," Alef says sounding nervous. He and Glocia go together.

We've worked out a plan already on our way here to keep us all safe, since that's what the chimos are for. Doros follows after them, keeping both them and us in sight. I don't let Doros get too far out of sight either. Noriko is holding on to my jacket as always, and letting me guide her feet. She's looking for safe places to hide where we can meet up with her.

"Kizak! Roki's in trouble!" Doros calls. Noriko calls a chimo from his basket and teleports. She and I can call them to us, we discovered. Doros thinks it's because we are so determined to stay together. As soon as she's let go of me, I leap up to the top of a roof.

A group of martial arts students with swords is surrounding Alef and the de Gilenees. Three of them have hands on the ladies. The rest have cut Alef off from helping them. I jump down to get Alef free. I slam the men around him with my bag, making them fly back. Then I get Alef turned the right way so he can see the ladies.

The men holding the ladies threaten to harm them if we attack. I leap into the air and land behind them before they can see where I went. With a slam, I've knocked all their heads together and they fall to the ground. I take one arm of each of the ladies and push us forward to stand with Alef.

Together Noriko and I worked out a smoke-screen so that people wouldn't be able to see a whole group disappear using chimos. As soon as we're clustered together, I throw the smoke bomb to the ground. Doros teleports to us, passes out chimos, and we are headed for Noriko.

As usual, I get to Noriko first, glad to have the chimos to help me get to her wherever she may be, and glad to see she's safe in a back alley where no one seems to be around. When the others appear, we immediately begin discussing how to get out of the town.

A woman calls, "Here they are, up here!"

Glocia looks up. "Bah. That's a maid from before. She knows."

"We'll have to synchronize," Doros says. The ladies give Doros back their chimos and hold on to us men - Noriko and I, Glocia and Alef, Niana and Doros. "When I say 'go' focus all your attention on me," Doros instructs. We haven't done it before, but we have talked about it, so we have some idea what to do and now the motivation to do it.

Doros puts out a fist and Alef and I put our hands on top of his fist, holding on. We all take a deep breath and Doros says "go". I focus on him with all my might. The town disappears and in another second an open field appears around us.

With a slow blink, Doros comments, "Hey, I'm not tired."

"_Nope!_" We look up. Irktule is above us, as are the spirits. "_Congratulations! Shall we do that again?_"

We blink at him. "What?"

"_You can do that again and get to Ennamarna._" Irktule says cheerily.

"Wait a minute," Alef says. "We weren't going to do that until we were at the desert."

"_Well, now you've been seen and you may be chased. If you go straight there, you won't have to worry about it, right?_"

Irktule is oddly being as vague as Alef. There is more to this - a reason he wants us to go and he doesn't want to give me away (even though he never could call us by our false names). "...And the army's reached Ennamarna," I say it for him coolly, crossing my arms. I may not have a choice but to give it away in the end, and all of our companions from before already know anyway.

Irktule is suddenly sober. "_Yes, Izark. The army has arrived at Ennamarna. They have catapults, flaming arrows, very tall towers, and explosives. They will destroy the farm fields inside the fortress and overtake it without too much trouble. ...But you can prevent it._"

Alef blinks, looking between Irktule and me. I refuse to look at him and agree with Irktule. Alef doesn't need to know why right now. As Glocia also likes the idea, Alef is distracted by trying to argue with her since he's still against it.

I'm surprised when Noriko talks to me silently. In her case, she argues that she should be allowed to go with me against the army when I go. She uses her fear, worry, and determination to protect me as emotional weapons to go along with her words.

This time, I refuse. I can take care of the army, but not if I'm also worried about her safety. If I leave her in the city while the army is far enough away, she will never face any danger.

In the end, both Noriko and Alef are pouting a bit. Glocia and I stand firm and put an end to the arguing. Niana and Doros look between Alef and Noriko, wondering what happened to make them be on the same side, since they didn't hear Noriko and my argument and they almost never agree directly on any issue. Really, the two of them fight like I would imagine a brother and sister would fight.

We get into our synchronous positions again, and focus on Doros. He focuses on Irktule who will lead us to Ennamarna. We'll have to jump twice more, so we just keep the focus going until we finally stop moving and there is stillness around us.

It's now very hot and very dry. We look up and see around us tall sandstone walls with many holes in them that are surely windows. There is a well nearby and some yellow desert grass under our feet.

As Noriko and I turn to look around behind us, we hear a cry. "Izark! Noriko!" Our eyes go to the person running towards us. It's Gaya, her face beaming with the same joy she welcomed me with when we arrived at her store. I try to back up, but Gaya has us both in a double hug before I can move very far, one arm around each of us, holding us close to her. "Oh, how I've missed you two!" she cries.

Noriko puts her arm around Gaya. "We've missed you, too, Aunt Gaya." I'm not sure how to handle the greeting, and look around at everyone else. All of our companions are here and there are no distrustful or angry faces. They all seem genuinely happy to see us again. It's hard for me to process not having any rejection at all. Noriko sends me a quiet emotional message of, "_See the acceptance, the joy? Please don't worry._"

I take a breath and send back a feeling of trust. I'll try to trust her, her words from before, and what I'm seeing with my own eyes, even though my heart wants to hold back against what may yet still happen. I also remember that what I want to be is how I should act, and I do want all of these to be my friends and stay my comrades. I'll act that way for now. If they dislike it, they'll surely let me know.

Zena tells us she saw us coming, as did Geena, who is holding tightly to Agol's hand. He's smiling at us as well, and looks more relaxed than when we saw him last. The girls, Anita and Rottenina, are excited to see us, and begin to chatter away with Noriko, who's happy to see them as well.

There's a cry and a thud. Niana has knocked down Duke Jeida in her enthusiasm at seeing her husband again. That's a long time and I sympathize. Glocia is greeting her brothers, and Banadam is welcoming Alef, having served under him.

We've managed to bring everyone together. I have no idea why this particular grouping of people is so important to the world of light, that it would ask the Sky Demon and Awakening to help them all come together like this, but I'm glad we were able to do it properly.

Noriko slips her hand into mine and squeezes it just as Barago shows up at my shoulder to comment on the chimo on my shoulder. It hisses at him and I calm it. Agol moves past us to kindly go speak to Doros, who's the only one who doesn't know anyone here.

Things calm down after a bit and a throat is cleared. Calm descends and we turn to look. There's a man standing in the front of a large group of people watching our reunion. "Welcome to Ennamarna. I'm the mayor, Mardwoog. I greet you on behalf of the citizens of Ennamarna."

Before any of the rest of us can move, Noriko smiles. "Thank you, Mayor Mardwoog." He looks at Noriko for a moment, then a small smile comes on his lips. Somehow, when he does that, he seems to be like Doctor Clairgeeta. Does he also know of the world of light?

But even more, I'm staring at Noriko. That is the first time ever she's stepped forward and spoken up for any of us unless it was to protect me with a scold. When she realizes what she's done, she blushes, but still she stands firm and confident like I've only seen on rare occasions.

She's come to a place that she recognizes, even though she's never been here before. She knows. She knows that here is the answer we seek. I relax and give my quiet thanks as well. If we can be welcomed even so briefly as for us to find that answer, then it will be enough.

-o-o-o-

The citizens of Ennamarna are as kind and welcoming to us as our comrades and the mayor. They give us quarters with our comrades from the first journey. Niana and Glocia go with Duke Jeida, who thanks us for safely bringing them to him. Alef goes with Banadam, who is staying near the Grand Duke.

We take Doros with us and Barago adopts him pretty quickly, which overwhelms Doros, but also makes him blush warmly in happiness to be included with everyone so easily. That isn't a small thing to him. I'm glad to see it as it also gives me just a little more hope for myself.

We're directed to the baths, public underground heated pools separated by sex. Noriko's extremely excited by that one small thing, which makes me smile. I'm glad she didn't dive into the first cave river like she did into the river when she was ill. I'm not sure I would have been able to fish her out.

I admonish her not to try it here and she laughs at me. It isn't _that_ deep. I complain that it's just as deep as the river I healed her with. She patronizingly reassures me she won't. She's only thrilled to be able to get clean any day she wants. While I don't understand, I'm willing to settle if that's what it is.

When we're clean and refreshed, they direct us to a larger upper room where they tell us they've put food and a restorative tea for us to eat and drink while we sit and visit with our companions. They tell us on the way that Zena uses it as her scrying room.

They have a minor seer for the city, but he was willing to give it up to her since she's a stronger seer and she wanted to research the records contained in the room. That gets Noriko's interest and mine. If they are the records Doctor Clairgeeta used in his research then perhaps Zena already has some knowledge she can tell us.

I'm not sure about all of this friendly reception we're getting. When we're finally sitting down, with Noriko and I put in the head seats of this circle of plush cushions, I lean over to Gaya who's sitting next to me. I can trust her with my small courage, since she's already taught me she wants to protect me. "Do the citizens know?" I ask in a whisper.

Gaya smiles at me. "No. They're always like this. It's a nice place to live. Everyone is friendly and kind here."

I nod and Noriko relaxes. She also must have been wondering. The room goes quiet, now that we're settled and have food in front of us. As the atmosphere fills up with expectation, Noriko looks at me. Kindly she asks, "_Do you want me to tell, or do you want to?_"

I look back at her. "_I think there are things I need to tell ...but do you want to start?_" If I can see how they react to her story, I'll know better how to be. And if they're kind, I'll have that much more courage to say what I need to say. Besides, she loves to tell stories.

Her eyes light up. She really does want to tell ours. I grin at her and she wiggles happily in her seat. There's a laugh and she looks up, surprised. There are happy faces looking at her, at us. She grins a big happy smile. "He says I get to start. Are you ready for story time?"

Now there are grins, although our newest companions, Niana, Glocia, and Alef are more looking curious. Agol holds up a hand and sends Banadam and Alef to stand guard on the door to make sure none of the city hear what we have to say, and I'm grateful. It helps me relax just a little more. They take their plates with them so they can still hear and eat. Agol makes a better military commander than Alef, and I wonder if he was one. His fighting skills are at that level.

"Once upon a time," Noriko begins, "there was a school-girl in another world that was suddenly dragged from her world to a world that only existed in the stuff of dreams and story books. When she arrived, she woke to find herself on a bed of soft golden moss under the largest tree she had ever seen. The world was still and had no one in it she knew. Frightened, she called for her mother and father, but instead of finding the way home, or the ones she loved, she had called a flower monster.

"Just as it was about to eat her, a man rescued her and killed the monster. Terrified, she ran to the man and held him as if holding on to life itself, her panic overwhelming her for some time. The man, a complete stranger, was extremely patient and waited for her to calm down, his warmth and presence being enough to bring her to a sense of calm ...and shame at being so forward with a kind stranger. Of course, her noise and the dead monster drew other monsters, so he had to continue to rescue her until they came out of the sea of trees by a secret way."

That's enough for them all to know who we are. Niana's eyes are going wide and Glocia has frozen. They've heard us called by our real names here, but they still didn't know until now. Duke Jeida takes hold of Niana's hand and gives her a comforting look. One of Glocia's brothers has his hand on her shoulder and the other is nodding calmly. Glocia slowly relaxes. Niana's look goes from surprise to slight worry, but it doesn't look fearful.

When I glance at Alef, he's as surprised as the ladies, but Banadam is waving a hand at him to calm him down, ...and he's still looking disappointed. He needs to give that up. The rest aren't surprised at all, but they aren't saying anything yet.

Noriko smiles and continues her telling. "This is the true beginning of how Izark and I met. I'm from another world and I did not come by my own free will and choice, but was claimed by the world of light and brought here to teach Izark how to find the world of light. We've been seeking it ever since I came. We're nearly done with our search. Here, in Ennamarna, we will learn the last thing we have to learn." Zena sits up straight and stares at Noriko. She does know something.

"Our search led us through many places and, somehow, all of you became caught up in our story. Some of you we've brought together who were separated," Noriko looks at Duke Jeida and his family and guards. "Some of you we've helped and you have helped us." She looks at Doros, Barago, Agol, Gaya, and Zena.

"We're grateful that you've welcomed us again kindly. Our trials have been as great as your help and aid have been. Izark and I were captured by the Source of All Evil, but Doros helped us escape. We know we'll have to face it again, and the man who is its hands in this world - Rachef."

Agol reacts very badly at hearing that name and I look at him, still wondering at how he came to be in this group, other than because Noriko fell in his lap to be protected by him, which I'm still grateful for. Noriko smiles at Agol to reassure him. That's right. She said that he may have known from before. Maybe Rachef sent him to look for us, and asked him to use Geena to help him.

"When we escaped the Source of All Evil, Izark transformed for the first, and so far only time into his form of light. Because he wasn't prepared for the lesson and he had been so badly wounded, he can't remember how it happened. We've been searching for that understanding since then.

"We are near to understanding it. We've come from rescuing Doctor Clairgeeta, the foremost authority on the legends of the world of light, from the fate of death. He's taught us what we need to know to continue our search and he sent us here, to read the writings of this place." Zena is nodding now. I'm relieved. We'll have our answer very soon.

Noriko pauses again, then says very soberly, "It is now a race against time. Rachef and his weapon, a man who he's been training to be as strong as Izark and who hates him, are surely near to finding us again. We've learned that when light and hope are given to us, it is either in reward for the good we do for others, or it's because we're being given the encouragement we need to walk through another difficult time of sorrow and pain.

"The final fight with the Source of All Evil will be very difficult. If we can survive it," she turns to look at me and her eyes hold the hope of the future in them, "we will fight all the evil in this world with light until it's beaten back again." Her conviction rings through the room. It is now my turn.

I turn to face everyone and speak honestly, to my friends because I want them to be my friends and help me one more time. "I've been taught my whole life the same prophecy that everyone else has. Only when Noriko looked at me with innocent and clear eyes and told me that I was good and kind and could never be evil had the thought ever entered into me that I might not have to be what I feared most to become.

"I went to the sea of trees to destroy the Awakening. I couldn't do it. How could I kill an innocent girl who knew nothing of this world or the prophecy, and only had the desire to return to her home? She didn't come to destroy me, or this world. The longer she was with me, the more I realized that she had come to save, but I was still confused. Zena's words helped me to have even more hope," I nod my gratitude to her and she blushes slightly.

"But it was the recognition that I was more than the Sky Demon of legend as I was nearing both death and being taken and used by the Source of All Evil in his buried castle, just before Noriko rescued me, that made me have the courage to really fight for myself and all that I wanted to do and be. Hearing Doctor Clairgeeta's words lifted me even further and now I walk the path to find the being of light that I really am.

"I am still often doubtful and afraid, but Noriko's constant strength and surety is my anchor and my beacon. Her purpose, as the Awakening, has been to awaken me to my goodness and to the world of light, not to bring me to darkness and destruction. I am grateful ...and I love her. A demon of destruction cannot love. I am not the Sky Demon of destruction of the prophecy of darkness."

I look at Noriko. "When Rachef and Keimos come again, they will not have their way. Noriko will open the door to the world of light and the light will sweep away their darkness." I look back at everyone again, entreating them. "Please help me protect Noriko until we can find the door so we can win."

The room is silent for a moment, then Agol bows his head. "Noriko has already seen it, though I don't know how. I was sent by Rachef to find the Sky Demon and the Awakening at the beginning at the sea of trees with his soldiers, and with Keimos.

"I didn't know until just now how evil they were, although Keimos has always taken delight in killing - violently. I know how relentless he has likely been in hunting you, Izark, and in his delight to be even stronger until he can some day best you. He is a frightening man.

"Geena has always been afraid of Rachef as well. When Keimos was retrieved wounded by Rachef, he told Rachef he'd fought with you near Calco. I was sent, with Geena, to find out more about you. There I heard the story of the two of you and the capture of the bandits at nearly the expense of your lives. I first began to have my doubts then."

He looks up and smiles at Noriko. "When you landed in my lap, I thought I was helping a simple girl."

"You were," she answers quietly with a smile.

"And when you told me your name at Gaya's house I couldn't believe that one of the two people I had been looking for suddenly had appeared - literally landing in my lap and bringing me to her home. All I could see was the same simple girl I'd saved. Only your special connection to Izark and the fact you could see Irktule made you remotely different.

"It was Izark's relationship with you that made you different. His need to have you near, and your calm patience with him. He was...is...so strong, it was difficult to understand why he needed you, a simple and weak girl, by his side all the time."

Agol takes a breath and runs his hand through his hair. "When he transformed in Selina, Guzena, it was shocking, but when I thought about it, I realized that only love would have made him do that. When they told me it had been after the woman said you'd been taken to your death, I understood that perfectly. I would have defended my wife to the death from her death if I could have, even if I had to announce to the world that I was a monster."

He looks sadly at his daughter, taking her hand in his and she looks at him with a smile to comfort him. He smiles back at her, even though she can't see it. "When I realized this about Izark," he looks back up at me, who is sitting here with my heart in my throat, hoping he doesn't want to still kill me, somehow amazed that it sounds like he doesn't, "I couldn't believe the prophecy any longer.

"I had already decided I wouldn't return to Reinka to tell Rachef what I discovered. I agree that a monster of destruction cannot love. I will support you. Noriko is worth protecting." Noriko blushes and I sit astounded as nods go around the room. Everyone has had the time to consider what they saw as they walked with us and has decided that we are not evil.

"Izark," Zena says thoughtfully, "I've been watching you, although I didn't know it was you." She turns and points to a black mirror on a low table nearby. "This mirror has been in the possession of the Ennemarnians for many, many generations. Mayor Mardwoog says it has always been black.

"The day you discovered the light inside you, there were flecks of light in it for the first time in his understanding. Since then, I've been watching that light becoming stronger and stronger, more and more cohesive."

She rises. "Mayor Mardwoog has also told me about the Legend of Light that Doctor Clairgeeta has likely told you, that there will be a great force of good that will arise to fight a great force of evil that will enter the world. That with the help of companions and love, that force of light will overcome the evil and restore peace to the world."

Noriko and I both blink, not having heard this legend before. All of my being cries out to hear it, to have heard it when I was still a child. Zena walks to a bookshelf carved into the rock wall of the room and I can't take my eyes off of her.

Hunting through the books she finally pulls down one that is very old, very yellowed. "This book is apocryphal. It contains the legend of darkness. It tells of a man, a priest, who gained great strength and ruled behind many rulers, extending his life many generations. With his four faithful followers, he ruled with terror and darkness upon the whole face of the land."

She looks up at us. "Finally, he couldn't extend his life any longer, though he'd created great moonstones to amplify his power. Over a very short amount of time, his flesh dissolved and his body decayed and died. But his evil spirit remained, buried with his castle when the power released by his death caused volcanoes to erupt under and near it.

"...If the Source of All Evil brought you to him in a buried castle, then that is this evil man's spirit. I suspect he is desirous of walking the earth again and once again living as he did before. Perhaps he wants you to take your power, strength, and body and make them his own.

"He has found a man who is like him, Rachef, to begin his works, to again be someone he can stand behind and rule the world with an iron fist of darkness. You are not like him. You are not evil.

"Do you understand? This is the time of the prophecy of light. He is the evil that has come, and you are the force of good that will stand to prevent him and bring peace to the world again. I have no doubt that the world of light will open its door for you eventually. Noriko, as the Awakening will lead you to that door."

Noriko and I are astonished. Before I can even process what she's said, other than to know that by those prophecies I'm not what is said today, and am instead what I believe I am, what Noriko knows I am, Gaya says, "Izark, you have always looked towards the light. I have never doubted that. You cannot be the Sky Demon of darkness." Many of our friends are in agreement with her - Banadam, Barago, the brothers, the girls, Doros.

"For Izark to withstand the power of the Source of Evil ...perhaps it didn't believe that anyone could resist the temptation of such power as is contained in the Sky Demon. But Izark did, and has," Duke Jeida says in his careful, thoughtful voice. Agol nods his agreement.

Glocia stands, her usual intensity rising to the surface. "I - I also believe it. We've traveled with you, and you've helped us so much, in ways I cannot repay. I can say you are not what people are afraid of at all. Of that I am sure."

Niana nods her head enthusiastically. "Yup! You couldn't be evil." Alef nods his head as well.

One of the things Doctor Clairgeeta told us on the journey was, "Though they are shapeless and invisible, men's feelings have great power." Like Noriko's feelings that anchor her, the feelings of these who have traveled with us, seen me as I am, expressed now today, hold me in warmth and touch my heart.

My remaining doubts begin to melt and drift away. There are too many witnesses to me tonight that what I cannot see is seen by others. I am good. I bow my head in humility that so many would judge me thus rather than evil.

Gaya moves to comfort Noriko as tears drip from her eyes, tears of gratitude - for our friends and companions, and for the world of light that has given us this gift.


	37. Foretold

Noriko spent most of the night in Zena's scrying room, reading from the texts there that tell the story of the legend of light, recount the history of Ennemarna, and contain the records of the world of light. She was frustrated that reading is still slow for her since we've had little access to books until now. I read the legend of light with her, wanting very much to know what it said.

There will come a day, it said, when great evil will rise up to take over the whole earth. It would, save there shall be born one who will be called a son of the light. Darkness shall cover his mind until the world of light brings into his life one who will part the curtains of darkness through great love and compassion. They shall walk the path together to the world of light. When the time for battle comes, they shall together step through the door into the world of light.

Well, it wasn't new to us. We've already nearly walked the whole thing. I just wish that the evil that creates the darkness that is over our world hadn't hidden the legend of light away. I would have lived my life with a lot more hope to begin with.

However, both the commentary after the recording of the legend and Noriko pointed out that if I hadn't walked in darkness to begin with it wasn't likely I would have needed her or her love from the beginning. She could have stayed home with her family is how I see it, even if I have fallen in love with her. She wouldn't have had to live as painful a life as I've lived.

The other point that they both gently made was that because I have understood the darkness, having walked in it and rejected it my whole life, I've learned the compassion that gives me the strength to stand and defend those who cannot defend themselves. That I can't argue with.

I stayed with Noriko while she kept reading, but she was stubborn and would only let me help her with the difficult words. She learned the ones she didn't know very quickly, even more quickly than she learned to speak the language. She said that she remembers what she sees much more quickly than what she hears.

When it looked like she would read through the entire night and get no sleep at all, I made her sleep during my sleep time. That much is a minimum for her and our friends will expect us to be up with them during the day to be properly introduced to the city council, at least. They may even try to introduce us to the whole city, but I think that may be a bit much given how little Noriko slept.

I spent my night hours meditating on the events of the afternoon and evening. I feel so much calmer, and like all or nearly-all of the rocks in my stomach have melted away finally. While I perhaps don't have full confidence I can walk in the light, I'm not afraid to any longer. It was enough for this night to bask in the peace of knowing that I am good. When it's time, I'll be able to walk through the door into the world of light with Noriko.

The city council chamber is like all the rooms in this place - rough-hewn from the rock that makes up the high stone walls of the city. All of the rooms interconnect with long hallways and stairs in sometimes odd places. Sometimes the rooms are the hallways. It's odd construction, but humans have made do with whatever shelter they can find or make for millennia. This room is large to hold the people who come.

The mayor sits in the head seat with the councilors and advisors sitting behind him and around to his side. Any one of the citizens of the city who wish can come to the council meetings. They sit on the floor in the center of the room or stand where they may. There are benches and chairs around the edges of the room which seems to be reserved for the elderly and for special guests.

Duke Jeida is one of the special guests who's hiding in refuge here. Enemmarna has agreed to protect those good statesmen who've been banished from their countries. Also here are Premier Nash of Donya itself and Ministers Enri and Kainowa of Guzena.

Barago, Agol, and Gaya told me that they'd been talking of searching for others when Geena came and told them that the spirits of the White Mist Forest had been visiting with her and had been showing her the six of us who'd begun to travel to reach this place. Zena had only been able to confirm that a light was approaching, and hadn't seen anything to indicate they should leave the city, nor where they would go look if they did. So they'd been waiting.

The two seers had known that morning we would be arriving when we did and everyone had gathered in the center of the city to wait for us to arrive. Now we're all wondering what's next. They weren't surprised to hear the army was on the march and close. They'd been keeping an eye on them, too.

We're standing with our friends in the back of the council chamber, waiting for the meeting to begin. A messenger runs into the room, stopping in front of the mayor, who's already seated. "Mayor Mardwoog," he says, a bit breathlessly, "the messengers of the army of Donya have just come to the gate and issued an ultimatum. The army will be arriving tomorrow. If we surrender, we are to have the gates open to let them in when they arrive. If the gates are not open, they will consider it a refusal to comply and they will attack the city."

The council chamber goes very still, then explodes into complaints against the army and the government of Donya, but there are no words of surrender, no pleas to the Mayor to reconsider his position. A debate ensues as to how it will be best to defend the city and the innocent children, women and elderly, and their honored guests, with whom they seem to be including Noriko and me.

For all that the citizens could be killed or injured, they won't bow to the corrupt officials in their government. They're indeed strong willed. Voices of the guests of the city and council from near where we stand are also adding their comments to the proceedings.

Koriki, the hotheaded brother, is saying that he'll stand with those who'll fight to protect the city. Rontarna's voice calls for negotiations or clandestine solutions. Even the older men add in calm advice and words of wisdom. It seems they've also adopted this city as their own.

As we stand watching, Noriko reaches for my hand. I can see the Teacher is preparing her words as Noriko stares into space with her head tilted slightly. When she's ready we walk together to stand in front of the mayor. We both do much better in such public situations when we can strengthen each other. When we're beside each other is when we're strongest.

"Mayor Mardwoog," Noriko lets go of my hand and clasps her hands lightly together in front of her. Her voice is calm and soft, and contains the surety of the courage and knowledge of the Teacher. The room falls silent - even our friends. They're surprised to see the strength she has earned.

"We have not come here innocently." The room goes a bit tense. In the already charged atmosphere that was perhaps not the best word choice, but she isn't perfect - just very intelligent. It certainly got everyone's attention. "We were informed that the army was coming and came quickly to arrive before them. Please hear our words and let your words and the words of your council direct us." Mayor Mardwoog gives us permission to have the floor.

Noriko turns to the council. "If possible, we would help the citizens of Ennemarna do away with this threat without injury to anyone in the city, or even property damage. We would even see the army sent away without injury to them as well, if at all possible." People are looking at us with complete disbelief.

Noriko smiles a little. "It is possible. You have the legends of light here in this place. Tell me, what do those legends say that can be of use in your defense?" She's going to allow them to teach each other, which is the most strong way to teach.

An older man says, "The city of Ennemarna is said to be a city blessed and protected - a holy place protected by the divine. Many of the people of Donya believe this, or have believed it in the past. It's because of it being the City of Light."

Noriko presses them for more details. "Are there specific things that have been written or passed down of how or in what way it was protected before?"

His brow furrows, and many others are considering the question. Answers begin to be said from around the council. "A demon will rise up from the sands and devour the people."

"The spirits of the dead will whisper death in the ears of those who turn from the path of light and attack the city."

"The warriors of the mist will come with great spears and defend the city for the people of the city so they don't have to defend themselves."

"Great sandstorms and confusion will come upon the armies that come against the city of Ennemarna, so that they can't even find the city, but are lost in the desert to wander until they die of thirst."

"A shield of light will protect the city so that their enemies can't enter it, but are repelled by truth and determination."

"If the citizens of the city stand firm in their conviction for truth and light, then they can't be overcome."

"A gentle heart and a love of service to all will bear the fruits of peace."

After a few more suggestions Noriko holds up a hand. "That's sufficient for now. Thank you." She bows to the council. "Thank you also, for your gentle hearts and service towards us since we came yesterday. If you will allow us, we will bring to you the fruits of peace." She looks at me. "Is that sufficient for you to work with?"

The room is in confused silence, still not having heard the final sum. She does like to hold it until the very last, much like a statesman or lawyer, which is why I tease her she should become one. I think of the various methods that were said, then say it to make sure I understand her conclusion, "_Use the legends to create fear...like on the ship._" Noriko indicates I've reached understanding.

I turn to Mayor Mardwoog. "I've been gifted with special powers. I can use the legends against the army, to cause them to fear coming against the city. Let me go to them and see if I can make them leave the desert and return home. At dawn, I'll make them believe those legends have come true because they chose to come against Ennemarna. Perhaps they will run in fear and you won't have to fight them.

"Even if I can only chase off a portion of them, it will be that many less that the city will have to face." It's too much to ask the council to believe a single man can chase away an entire army, even with special powers, but they don't need to know what I am.

The mayor looks at us, wondering who the newest guests of his city are. "You're a wandering swordsman?" he asks me.

"Yes," I answer calmly.

"What price would you ask from the city to defend it by yourself against an army? Surely such a feat would be even more expensive than a city could afford, I would think." He's testing me. I've said before it happens frequently. Those I ask to hire me look at a thin young man and don't think "strong".

"I understand that it's difficult to believe that I can do what I've said, but I can. I'm not here to extort, but to help. My first request is that the city keep Noriko safe while I'm gone. She is my beloved and her protection is the most important thing to me." The mayor raises an eyebrow and there are murmurs in the crowd. That was perhaps not the best choice of words in public, to make her blush, but I wish to convey my sincerity to the mayor. I won't leave Noriko's side without this promise. It's the same promise I required of the mayor of the flower town.

"We've come to you with nothing. I would second ask that the city provide three sets of clothing for each of us, or if that's not possible, Noriko is an excellent seamstress and enough cloth and thread for her to make our clothing would be a sufficient substitute. Two bags for us to carry them in, one for each of us. When we leave, one water bottle each and food sufficient for us to reach our next destination."

I remember what Noriko wanted to buy at the last market we were in. "Noriko also writes, but her notebooks, pens, and ink were stolen from us several months ago and we haven't been able to replace them. If a few could be spared, we would be grateful. Please continue to feed and house us without charge until we leave, although we won't overstay and become ungrateful and undesirable guests. This is the payment I require of the city to defend it from the army."

The mayor isn't satisfied. "That's all?"

_Of course not._ "That's what I require to even go out and attempt the job." There are noises that say the council expects me to be unreasonable if I can actually make good on my promise.

I calmly set their minds to rest. "If I can make the entire army leave the field, then I'll take as my payment however much gold from their coffers that I can carry from what they leave behind. If they don't leave any gold behind, then I require twenty percent of whatever gain you earn from the sale of the provisions, supplies, and materials they leave behind.

"If I can only chase away a few, and the enemy will still attack, then I'll take instead five percent of what you can sell of their camp, or ten percent of the gold that's found in it."

"You assume that we'll win either way," comes a complaint.

Noriko turns to the council and quietly says, "He will. Is this not the City of Light?" They are scolded to silence.

Mayor Mardwoog narrows his eyes at me. "That's still not a burden on the city. You'll take it from the enemy. Ask for more," the mayor demands, "or I won't believe you can perform it." I raise an eyebrow. That was one step too far.

Noriko puts her hand on my arm lightly. I'm happy to let her have a turn. "Mayor Mardwoog, we have brought with us a man who has been kind and faithful to us, but we can't continue to take him with us. He needs a safe place of protection to live.

"Please, as part of the payment, allow Doros to become a citizen of Ennemarna and give him a place to live and a place where he can comfortably raise his chimos. He can tell you better than we what kind of a place that would be. He can earn his keep working with the animals of the city. I know of no better person to work with animals than him."

I approve. I'd forgotten Doros. We shouldn't continue to take him with us when we leave. That would be difficult and unkind. "I agree with Noriko. That would be an acceptable addition to the payment."

Now there are murmurs of astonishment in the council and the mayor is looking very confused. "Why won't you ask for the wealth that you could ask for?"

Noriko smiles at me. I smile back. We're both happy to scold him. I go first, needing to defend my position. "Is not the happiness of your friends and the peace of the land wealth? What need do I have of more than I can reasonably take with me and sufficient to provide for my wife and myself as we travel? We have goals that the gold from the army would help with, but to greedily demand more than that from the citizens of Ennemarna is to take from them what could be used to build the city up."

Calmly Noriko adds the barb, "Aren't we trying to tear down those who are corrupt and use wealth and greed to build themselves up and subjugate the people around them? Why should we emulate them?" I laugh to myself. It was perfect. The mayor sits sheepishly silent.

There's a barked laugh from behind us that gets our attention. Barago's laugh is very distinctive. "Give it up, Mayor. No one wins against Noriko. ...Or Izark for that matter. If that's all they want, give it to them and say 'yes'. You won't find a better deal anywhere."

All of our friends are smiling or nodding in agreement. "Izark will make good on his promise," Duke Jeida says. "I will stake my reputation on it, if you need it." I bow my gratitude to the Grand Duke for his endorsement.

"...Very well," Mayor Mardwoog says. "We'll protect Noriko from the time you leave until the time you return, give Doros a place in the city to live with his animals, and collect the other things you have requested, as well as let you stay with no charge - although we would have given you that anyway, since you're our guests. As to the rest, we'll see how your battle with them in the morning goes. I don't have a problem with your requirements."

"Thank you." I put Noriko's hand into my elbow and escort her back to our friends. That went very well.

Noriko thanks Duke Jeida, then turns to Barago and smiles her teasing smile at him. "And thank you, also. I was afraid that was going to go on for another half-hour."

Barago waves his hand. "I don't have that kind of patience."

"I know. I figured I could count on you." He laughs and laughs, his barking ringing through the room. While his laugh is harsh on the ear, it's good to see him smile.

-o-o-o-

I leave Ennemarna early in the morning, long before sunrise. I slept early so that I could be up for now. Noriko is sleeping with the ladies who will protect her while I'm gone. The night is cold but the run to the army camp warms me nicely. I can see campfires and watchfires throughout the camp, but they aren't expecting anything to happen, it looks like.

I bring up the wind lightly and the fires flicker. Some of the guards shudder and look around nervously. I make the wind move the fires in unnatural ways and those begin to complain about this military action to their companions. Those who aren't devout scoff. I'll have to work hard to get those to leave.

First I run around the entire camp, placing where things are. When I come to the stored explosives, I collect them up and set them on the towers and catapults in preparation for destroying them. Then I stand on a high crate of supplies where I can see over the camp. Dawn is coming and with it the wind.

The desert holds a lot of the sun's energy - both light and fire - even at night. During the day there is more than enough of both for me to never have to become tired. I won't be scolded by Noriko this time for overusing my own energy. As the wind begins to rise from the sun warming the edge of the horizon, I hold it back, between Ennemarna and the army camp. It whips up against my barrier and with it the sands begin to rise as if boiling.

The men are rousing from their sleep, commanders calling them up to prepare to go against Ennemarna. When their eyes pass the desert where I hold back the wind, they begin to call out to each other to see the mountains that are rising up. Before the wind dies down from too much heat again, when it's at the angriest it can be, I release it and the wall of sand is pushed forward by it. The sandstorm slams into the army camp, making it so they can't see.

I drop from my height and run through the sandstorm, whispering in the ears of the men the curses of the guardian spirits of the City of Light. I remind them of what happens to men who come to battle against the blessed city. Those who are devout shiver and cry out in terror, and begin to run with the wind, away from the sand attack.

Commanders call out for order and for the men to stand fast, but panic is already setting in as it passes from terrified man to uncertain man to confused man. The wind begins to die down as the sun rises higher and I return to my higher vantage point.

I take in the fire energy that's rising. It's complex, but I use the heat of flame and smoke shaped by wind to create the image of a monster rising from the sand. I'm pleased to be playing with this much energy to create something like this. I smile to myself. Noriko is right. Sometimes it is fun to play even while being serious.

The men already frightened and uncertain start to run - away from the monster, away from Ennamarna. The difficult men still try to stand fast, choosing to be blind to what they see. It isn't difficult to take a little fire energy and light the explosives from where I am. I begin with the towers and catapults that are at the front of the camp and work towards the sides to make it seem as if the monster is attacking the camp.

There's a large exodus of men on foot and on whatever horses they can grab. A few out front took the time to get wagons together and they're packed with other men. Most of the things are left behind. Perhaps they'll be able to regroup and return, but I think I know how to make that difficult.

I let the monster fade as the wind tells me there are few to no men left in the camp. I need to see with my eyes as well, though. If they hide deep in the tents the wind can't tell me they're still there. I start at the Ennemarna side of the camp and work my way back and forth through the tents searching them as I go. I'm relieved when there are no people the more I walk. They were obedient to their commanders and properly left their tents when they were called that morning.

I put out the cooking fires that weren't put out by the wind and sand. The pots don't need be destroyed by burning the food in them. Then there's something...

I look up and see Noriko watching me, but she looks like she's asleep in her bed. The other ladies are beginning to rise from their beds. "_Good morning, Noriko._"

"_Good morning, Izark. I see you've been successful. Congratulations._"

"_You look like you're still sleeping?_"

"_I'm disguising that I'm watching you._"

"_Oh, I see._" I shouldn't watch her or the room since the ladies are changing, so I go back to my chore and just talk to her. She can watch me. "_It looks like they've all gone. I'm going to wait just a little longer to make sure they don't come back, and hunt for the treasury. I should be back in about a half-hour._

"_Just before I come I'll set off the last of all the explosives to make sure they stay scared off, and to make sure there isn't any left to attack Ennamarna with if they do come back. I've already destroyed the towers and catapults._" It's enjoyable to have her company while I walk the rest of the camp.

I'm pleased with how much gold they left behind. I can carry quite a lot, but over long distances not so much. I pick up as many bags as I can hold (all of them), then hunt for a place to store them until I can retrieve them. Then I decide that's rather ridiculous, for all I'd love to not have to work for many years. I can't really carry that many while walking or riding with Noriko across the country bringing peace and light back to the people. Ennamarna will also use what they get for good purposes.

Instead I double the carrying bags and put more than double the gold in each one until I have six bags completely full. That will be sufficient for long enough for my work to be exactly and only the work of the demon of light. That way I won't have to find the awful side jobs I don't really want anyway. I'm tempted to take extra gold be give to my friends so they can also have what they need to do their part of that work, but perhaps the city will give it to them anyway. I'll request it when we meet with the council again.

It's been long enough finally that the men shouldn't be coming back until much later, so I set off the last of the explosives. I use the sand that rises up from them to hide the passageway back to the camp so those from Donya will have troubles finding it again. Then I use the wind to bury the things they shouldn't be getting their hands on again if they do find the camp, and head back to Ennamarna.

Noriko sends her love then withdraws to return so she can get up and get ready for her day. I'm looking forward to what comes next, and pleased with the results of my work this morning.

-o-o-o-

As I arrive at the city walls of Ennemarna, I can see people standing at the few high windows that look out towards the desert. Even more are waiting for me at the gate, which is through a passage of the high walls that wrap around each other for a few hundred feet. It's a very defensible passage and the gate is strong and sturdy. If the army regroups and still comes against the city, without their towers and catapults it will be a long siege that the city will win.

The mayor finds me first. "They've fled," I tell him. "The camp is empty and I've destroyed the towers and catapults. If you send out parties immediately to collect the things they've left behind they'll have even more time and effort they'll have to put into coming against you again."

He's looking at the six bulging bags over my shoulders. "Did you steal all their clothing, too?" I merely smile.

"Did they leave the tents behind?" Alef asks, his merchant brain spinning.

"Yes. Pretty much everything. A few wagons and many horses were taken so they could leave more quickly, but they didn't stay to pack up," I answer.

Barago is also the sort to plunder quite happily. "If they left behind the food and oil we should confiscate that quickly so the food doesn't spoil. Those would benefit the city greatly." He and Alef are pulled to the side by the councilors of the city that are in charge of such things to plan how they are going get it all packed up and into the city.

I see them send a few runners into the city to start people getting wagons ready. They pause long enough to ask me just how many wagons I think would be a good number to send. I give them an estimate. It's obvious that the more go, the faster it all comes back, but I don't know how many backs they can call on.

"So...how did you do it?" the mayor asks me. Several other council members want to know too.

"I just used the legends to frighten them away, and their own explosives to put some truth behind them." I don't say more, but they nod sagely and make up their own stories in their heads. I've found that answers most people best. I move away from that group, not needing to be asked for more details, since that's usually next.

"_Izark! I can't find Noriko._" My head snaps up and I'm staring at a worried Irktule. "_I felt something ominous and was going to tell her, but I can't find her._"

"Go and ask Zena and Geena if they can see where she is," I immediately order him. He's having to use a lot of energy to talk to me. That's how worried he is. There isn't much tree and plant energy out here in the desert. He disappears to my sight.

"What?" Barago cries out.

"Noriko's gone?" Alef heard Irktule also, since he had to use that much energy to tell me.

They immediately start passing the word around to hunt for her in the city, and to find Gaya and Zena. Perhaps they've gone to Zena's room. Others are sent to the breakfast room to see if they're waiting for me there. I'm closer to the room she and the ladies were in if I go outside.

I run back out of the city and around to the room she should be in, then leap up into the window of that room. It's empty and her bed is as well. Her blanket and the chimos are also gone. There isn't anything in the room to say where she might be.

I step into the room, then through the door and down the hallway just a little. Her scent out here is last night's scent, fainter than the other ladies who left the room earlier. The last thing I remember was her telling them she'd follow them down to breakfast since she still needed to get dressed and she didn't want to delay them. They'd left the room excited to hear I'd finished my job already and would be joining them.

I tremble and grasp my arm as a chill overtakes me. They left her alone. That's all it would take for Rachef to take her without anyone knowing. He could pull Keimos all the way from Calco to Reinka. He could take Noriko. Would he have taken her that far, leaving me here? I would think he'd rather have me and leave her here.

I step a few more steps down the hall and call for her, then reach for her along the heart connection. There is only empty silence. I can't feel her at all. It's as empty as if she were taken home. That thought brings even more fear. It's possible for this level of emptiness if we're an ocean and half a continent apart. That's likely too far for either of us. Still, I try to calm down and pull as much energy as I can, then send out the request for her to answer me as far as I possibly can without forcing it. There's still nothing.

I turn around and I'm looking from a long hallway of rooms to another long hallway of rooms and my dream comes forcefully back and the fear of it comes back with it. I gasp and clutch my arms around myself. I can't let the fear overwhelm me. I begin by leaping back out the window and return to the others. I should know if anyone has seen her before I continue to let my mind make assumptions.

"She's not in her room and ...she doesn't hear me."

Agol takes my arm to hold me steady, his face showing his concern. "Not even the mind link is working?" I shake my head. He's felt my trembling and he doesn't let go. I'm grateful for that level of connection today. "Has that ever happened before?"

"Yes. When Rachef took her first to the east continent. When she was at the palace and I was at the buried mansion it was a very weak connection. We've both become stronger, though, so she would have to be very far now."

He looks almost as stricken as I feel. "Is that far enough? From here to there?"

I nod miserably and he understands my pain. To have to go all the way back there ...will she even still be alive once I get there? Will he come and fetch me next? There are too many things I don't know and all of my questions only make the fear grow.

"We're still looking," Barago puts his hand on my shoulder. He looks into my eyes with courage and firm resolve. "She could have fallen and hit her head and that would be enough, too, wouldn't it?" My nod is reluctant, but that's also true. Sleeping or unconscious we wouldn't hear or be able to answer.

Then I shiver and they both look at me with wide eyes. The newest thought has brought more fear, and I've begun to change. My teeth are chattering I'm trying so hard to hold it back. "The problem is that I can't feel her. I've felt her from the moment she arrived even if I didn't know where she was or how far. If she died, or...," I can't say it. Their looks are sympathetic.

I take a deep breath and say quietly only to them, "I have to get away from the city. I've learned to control it very well, but fear is what brings out the changes. Taking Noriko is the only thing Rachef can do to shut down my mind and turn me into the Sky Demon. I'll fight it, but I can't be here while I am. Please, keep looking for her. I'll return when I've got my fear under control again."

They both promise it and let me go. I turn and run. I'm far into the desert before I'm aware enough to realize how far. All of my focus has been on getting away from Ennemarna so I don't destroy it, and holding back the adrenaline reaction as much as I can.

I've used the finer control I've learned to help me be distracted from the fear. I've not allowed the wings nor the horn, nor the spikes nor my foot claws to come. I've held on to the thought that if I destroy my clothes again I will get the worst scolding ever and I don't want that at all.

Still, the hand that grasps desperately at the sand is a black-scaled claw on a black-scaled arm. The hair that hides my face because I've fallen to my elbows and knees in weakness at the fight is light blue. The air that rasps through my parched throat passes over a tongue that cannot speak. Pointed ears lift the hair at the sides of my head and pointed teeth push on my lips. These are all things that remind me of the things that Noriko loves about me and I can't help but sob. Grief and sorrow rise to overcome the fear and the changes begin to fade.

It isn't the time to grieve, but I'll take that option over the fear and the anger that's waiting to burst out of me that I'm also holding down. Anger will be worse than fear, I can tell. I can't let that out and there would be no point to it unless I was really ready to give up on this whole world.

Without a target, a known enemy, the anger would destroy everything until Noriko came running back to me again. Then I would see the sorrow in her eyes I don't want to see. I don't want to destroy my friends who've helped me see what I really am, and I don't want to destroy the City of Light where the people are so kind.

Thinking of those who I want to protect helps me, too. Noriko would also want me to protect them. I'm able to breathe a little easier as my concern for them rises. Even my own emotions have power - power to affect each other so that the ones that have meaning and can take me the direction I want to go can move me. I reach for them. Love, compassion, caring concern for others, even hope. Hope that we will find Noriko again.

Even if I do have to go all the way back to Reinka, I can hold on to hope that she is merely the bait, waiting for me, ...and working out how to escape yet again to meet me half way. I can rise to my feet again at that thought. It's time to be working. I know wherever she is, she's also working hard to get back to me.

As I have that thought, I freeze. I can feel her. Then she's suddenly appearing in front of me, on her knees, holding the two chimos she had with her in her bed. She smiles at me but I can barely take in that she's really here. "_Izark._" And then she's falling.

I drop to catch her in my arms. "Noriko! Noriko!" She's very pale and she can barely draw in breath. I pull her to hold her to me and her heart beat is very erratic. The chimos move to my shoulders.

"I-zar-k," She struggles to let me know she can hear me, but she's fading fast. The last thing from her is a weak sending of love and sorrow and compassion and then she's unconscious.

I surge to my feet. "Irktule!" I cry loudly and the chimos are already taking us to him, my desperation is so great.

We land in a swirl in Ennamarna and I nearly stumble. Quickly I draw on the energy of light and fire to replenish what it took to get here. I thin the air so I can breathe it and do the same for the air around Noriko. That helps us both. Others are crying out and running up to us. I'm only looking up into the air. "Irktule. I don't know how far she had to come to me with the chimos. Will she survive if it was from Reinka?"

There are gasps of horror and then there's a warm energy that passes by me to slip into Noriko. Soon it's joined by more warm energy until I know that all of the spirits from the White Mist Forest that still have any energy left after helping us synchronize to get here two days ago are giving Noriko what they have to keep her alive. I try my best to not take any of that energy. I can get plenty here, and I do, as fast as I've learned to take it in.

I'm being held on either side by my upper arms, being directed indoors and up stairs and down halls until they make me put Noriko down on a bed. I don't want to let her go, but they promise me they won't let their eyes off of her, and she'll recover better if her body can relax in the bed. I don't move far from her, hovering over her, worried still.

Geena walks up to me and puts her hand lightly on my arm. "Mister Izark. Irktule says Miss Noriko will live. The spirits were able to give her enough she'll live. But they didn't have much more than that. She'll have to rest to recover, he says.

"He also says that some of the spirits came back and reported that a dark evil was growing over a place at the edge of the desert. He's going to go see what it might be, but he thinks it might be that she was only taken that far."

I try to recover. "Thank you, Geena." I look up. "Thank you, Irktule and the spirits of the White Mist Forest."

My eyes burn. I blink and look at Noriko. Her breathing is a little better, but the thinner air still helps her. She does look more like she's sleeping now, and her presence is inside me, not just beside me. I wouldn't move from her side, but the tears won't be held back much longer and I can't show those to the world. They are too private.

I turn and walk into the next room of the hallway to stand facing the wall. My silent tears fall down my cheeks like the waterfall that stopped our voyage on the underground river. My grief at the pain that Noriko has had to bear to come to me again is very great. She chose possible death over staying where she was to wait for me to find her.

_Why can't I ever come to rescue you?_ My strength has no meaning if I can't even keep her protected and alive.


	38. Doors

"I know it's very painful to see the one you love in harm's way, Izark," Agol has come quietly and wants to comfort me. He's seen his own wife go through pain he couldn't do anything about and die when he would have done anything to prevent it.

I understand and I try to be grateful, but I can't have anyone with me now. I shake my head at him. My emotions are too big to share, even this one. He sighs. "I understand," he says quietly. "But know we are here with you." I nod and he backs off.

He's brought me out of the cycle of self recrimination I was lost in. Wishing I could do anything to heal Noriko, to take from her the pain she's in, so I could hear her voice and have her arms around me. I need that comfort, but it remains unfulfilled.

I think of that comfort and warmth and wish for it, then see in my memory how pale her face was, the tears still glistening on her cheeks and I want to find Rachef, or whoever took her away, and punish them for putting her through this and whatever they put her through from the time she was stolen from me.

My fingers curl into a fist and I pound on the wall. _Why does this happen to us? Why do we have to fight so hard only to be brought to pain?_ It has to stop.

"Ah, Noriko! ...No, don't get up!" The words jar me, and I'm moving quickly. She mustn't move. I put my hand on her shoulder to hold her down on the bed and to let her know I'm with her. She's already returned to my side. My heart winces.

"Izark." That looked like it hurt to even just say my name.

I brush back her hair, trying to brush back the pain that shows on her face. "Don't talk if it hurts, Noriko."

"_Izark...I'm so sorry,_" Tears leak out from the corners of her eyes, although it's her heart that is crying more. Perhaps with as much grief as I'm holding in mine. "_I'm sorry I got stolen away again. I'm sorry it took so long to come back. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you and that they locked me away in a room you couldn't find me in._"

I may need to hear some of those words, but I'm aghast that she still will apologize for things she has no control over. "Noriko! Noriko! Please, stop!" The room goes still. They've only heard my side, but I have to get her to stop. I gently touch her shoulder, not sure if touch is also painful. "Does it hurt?"

"_No._"

Relieved, I sit down next to her and carefully pull her up enough to hold her to me. She needs my comforting arms as much as I need hers. "Noriko, it isn't your fault. Please, don't apologize." I want to cry again. I feel like I felt when I finally understood she was playing the servant, the princess that was afraid to get eaten. _Please, don't. Don't be afraid of me._

"_But, Izark -_"

"_NO!_" I take the shout into our personal communication. The others don't need to hear this. She's surprised into being quiet. When I've calmed down enough, I try to teach her. "_I was worried. I was afraid, but I was able to maintain enough control. I didn't even ruin my clothes this time._"

Her mixed emotions of wanting to giggle and her pride that I was able to have that level of control washes through me and then I understand. We're both overwhelmed by the emotions of what just happened and it's too much for us both. I let her take the lead, since she walks through them better being more practiced at untangling her emotions. Mine follow one after the other in nice order.

I try to follow her. She's trying to calm down. Her heart cries still with the pain that she wasn't where she belonged. I try to send slowly and gently my forgiveness. I know she couldn't help it or she wouldn't have been gone to begin with. When she's stolen, the only thing either one of us can do is try to return to the other. I'm not angry with her.

She takes in my forgiveness. Then all of the emotions that go along with being stolen all come up at once and it's overwhelming. As I said, mine march in order. I can only hide my face in her hair as my eyes cry out her loneliness at not being able to feel me either, her fear at being lost and imprisoned, her terror at the confrontation she was subjected to, and the pain of the injuries done. That last brings up anger for me, but I keep that one below the surface. Now is when she needs to heal and that won't help her.

I find that in crying her tears for her, all of my equal emotions are also cried out. When I've reached the end of mine and they are all hers, my tears stop and I simply anchor in the comfort of knowing she's in my arms again. I can't hold it, though and the grief I felt from before comes to the surface again. I couldn't save her from all of what she had to go through.

When she can, she takes her turn to anchor. "_It's not your fault. They surprised us again._" I hold on to her calm understanding until I can forgive myself.

Because my emotions follow one after the other, anger rises next. I'm a little surprised when she pushes back on it, unwilling to let it come out. "_Don't Izark. Don't let anger overwhelm you. I can't save you from that if you become angry when I'm already with you. I'm here. I'm sure there is something you can do, and anger does bring power, but please, don't let it be what leads you to act. Choose to act rationally, for good reason, then use it's power to accomplish that good._"

I raise an eyebrow. This is the first time we've talked about such things. She also believes as I do, but I wasn't properly considering it when it comes to her. Just because I love her and have special care for her, that doesn't make it right for me change how I act. I should still hold to my integrity to be what I want to be. I let the anger go for now. I'll use it later if I get the opportunity to and it won't cause me to overreact. We sit quietly for a bit longer as our emotions stabilize.

There are things we all need to know to move forward. I want to let her rest, but we should know them before she sleeps again. I pull away from her a little so I can see her face. It's more relaxed now, like I'm beginning to feel inside - at least some of the rocks are gone. I brush my hand against her forehead in lieu of my lips. "What did they do, Noriko? Who was it?" I say it out loud to include the others in the room.

"_Rachef and Tazasheena._"

"Rachef and Tazasheena, hum? I guess that isn't surprising." There are dark and worried mutterings in the room.

"_Rachef wanted to talk to me, but he was supposed to kill me right away. Tazasheena told him that if he didn't that his plans were sure to fail._"

"Rachef wanted to talk instead of kill you? That's surprising."

"_He wanted to know what my special power was and wanted me to give it to him, instead of giving it to you._"

"What special power of yours did he want you to give him? Being a water fountain or teaching?" Those are her two best ones. I'll keep the third one to myself, since no one else needs to know she knows how to play act.

She smiles a small smile. "_I gave him teaching. He didn't want it. He would have killed me when he came back but Tazasheena wanted me dead first so she, illogically, brought me the chimos. I escaped. She was expecting me to die coming back to you, but even the hope that Irktule and the spirits might have gained a little strength was enough to tip the balance._

"_Rachef only left long enough for me to decide that I would give him my special power. He wouldn't believe me, even though I'd told the truth. What more could I have told him? It was more likely death if I stayed than if I escaped._" Her breathing is becoming labored again. We're taking too long.

Her words are sobering and help me heal a little more. I wouldn't have reached her in time. She had to come to me. "So it was death either way," I say softly and summarize for the others. "I'm glad that you had the chimos with you, that Tazasheena was illogical, and that Irktule's spirits had enough in them to keep you alive." Others in the room feel as I do.

"_They're still there. They won't give up this time, now that they know where we are again_," Noriko warns me.

"No, that's true. If they knew where to steal you from, they won't leave us alone until we're in hiding again." That causes all kinds of consternation in the room.

"_Izark, there are ominous clouds gathering over the ruins and evil is rising in that area._" It's Irktule.

My answer is terse with suppressed anger and irritation. "Rachef." Noriko shudders as her fear rises again. "_What do you need, Noriko?_"

"_Kiss_." She's too tired to even ask with more than one word.

I can't help the blush, but I understand. Like I still want to have her hold me, she also wants to be holding me. Perhaps it's still a shared unaddressed emotion. I carefully lie Noriko back on the bed. To keep it as private as I can, I keep my back to the room and lean over to kiss her. She doesn't really have the strength to return it, but I do feel the gratitude she sends me and that comforts me for now.

"I love you, Noriko," I say softly to her.

"_Thank you, Izark. I love you, too._"

When I stand back up, I turn to the others in the room. If we have a place identified now, we can begin to act. "Doros, I'd like to borrow your chimos."

After a moment, Doros runs out of the room. He comes back in and says, "I - I'm sorry Izark. For some reason they can't. May-maybe the source of evil is trying to take them. All I can do is hold them to keep them."

"_Tch!_" I'm irritated, but it might be a good indicator that Rachef is here indeed.

"She can't stay here, if the source of evil knows she's here, and is coming," Agol protests.

"But she can't be moved in her weakened state," Gaya argues. "Not only is she too fragile, this is the desert. There is no way she can travel on the desert."

We're trying to think of what to do when Noriko weakly says out loud, "Izark..., I'll be fine. Just do ...what you need ...to do." I can't believe I just heard those words.

Barago gets out the words before I do. "Fine? You'll be fine?" He throws his hands in the air, then balls them in frustration. "What shall we do? What _can_ we do?"

"Let us help you. We'll protect Noriko." The room goes still in shock and all heads turn to the newcomer to the room. "Let us join in your battle against the evil," Mayor Mardwoog requests.

"What?" Agol asks.

The mayor looks around the room, then at me. "Your other friends told me. You are the Sky Demon and she is the Awakening, and you've been fighting against the source of evil. How alone you must have felt to be fighting this battle without anyone else." My eyes widen. It must have been the de Gilenees since everyone else is here. Niana would do it even if the others hushed her. What does he mean by fighting all alone, though?

Mayor Mardwoog continues, "We'll help you. This city has defenses against the darkness and evil. It's the only place that does. The old schematics of where to place the moonstones to use the energies of the people of the city are still in my possession, as are the moonstones.

"With enough volunteers to go out and set them around the outside of the city, we can protect Noriko and those inside the city from the powers, though we may still have to do battle. We also have moonstones we can set in the room to protect her more directly. If she is separated from being seen or found, using the moonstones, then she will be even safer."

Noriko moves slightly and speaks again. "Yes. That's what happened before, ...when they stole me. Moonstones in the corners." I turn to her. _We were separated artificially? That can happen, too?_ "You wouldn't hear me again. We would be separated. But Tazasheena couldn't see either. Only chimos can get through. Rachef...doesn't have any. Ennemarna is ... only safe place. The world of light ...we are here on purpose." At the end I'm finally understanding.

We've been brought here on purpose. The world of light has given us a gift. The only place on the planet that can keep Noriko completely safe is where the final confrontation will take place. "You knew? How did you know?"

She tries to smile. "Read it. Yesterday. Understood it today." Because she was captured to see the example.

I lean down and kiss her forehead. "And the door?" I ask with a whisper.

Noriko looks into my eyes. "When you're ready. I'll rest and gather my strength until then." I love this woman. She has so much strength and hope, even right after such a terrible ordeal. I reward her with sapphire eyes.

She moans. "_Not fair. I don't have the energy for that._" I hold it and let her look as long as she wants. I know what blue does for her. I can feel her emotions turning, trading places, until she is full of the warmth of her love for me. It keeps going until I can see it in her own eyes, coming from her own body, that power that she can control when she goes into the light. I can actually see it. I'm as transfixed by it as she is by my eyes.

She wraps that power around me, the warmth of the light, it's peace and strength. I don't fear it this time. This time I watch it, feel it, and accept it until I'm calm and centered in it, the same as I've learned to be in all of the other energies and powers I've learned to use. We sit together in that still, strong center, holding eyes, until I'm ready. Slowly we separate. She knows where the door is now, but she'll wait to open it - wait for me to say it's time.

-o-o-o-

"I can't go any farther with you, Izark." Irktule hovers over me as I run.

"That's fine. Thank you for leading me. I can feel them. I know where they are now," I reassure him. He watches me run on, then turns back to return to Ennemarna.

I stayed long enough to see them put the moonstones in the corners of Noriko's room. Then I walked out the door and lost her to heart connection and feeling. I walked back in and she was there again. That was enough to reassure me - that and the three pairs of eyes that looked at me with determination. Gaya, Barago, and Banadam refused to leave her side and I trust that they'll do everything they can to protect her.

Gaya is still mourning that she didn't stay with Noriko this morning. I think Rachef would have still taken Noriko regardless, but Gaya will need to work it out for herself. Rachef is the sort to take whatever he wants without regard to the pain it causes others. He wants me, after all.

It's time to meet with them. I'll meet them where they are to keep them as far from those I care about as I can. They've taken over a ruin near a mine. Dark clouds hang over it and it isn't hard to tell they're there. Like I could feel the power of light around Noriko, I can feel the power of darkness that is in this place.

Even though they've darkened the village, and it has the feel of being a place where evil was done, I know how to reach for all of the other energies now, and I've filled up with the fire and light and air energies of the desert on the way here. This time, I won't lose to my emotions. I will not lose to the men who want to destroy this world and rule in evil. They are only men.

I arrive to find Keimos waiting for me. Beyond him are Rachef and the old seer standing by a dome of black darkness. "Show him, Keimos! Show him that he is just a pawn in the plan to resurrect my master. He is only a worm who I will own! Show him he cannot defy us!"

Keimos greets me with an evil grin of delight that he has the opportunity once again to prove he can best me. "Hello. I've been dying to see you again."

I don't want to fight him again. It's a waste of my energy. I leap into the air. The dome resonates with the power that filled the temple of the evil spirit called the Source of Evil. It's connected to here so that Keimos has access to the power there. The moonstones that support that spirit feed it. If I can enter it and destroy the moonstones, the power that allows the spirit to remain will disappear and so will the Source of Evil and all that supports the evil that has arisen on this world.

Rachef and Gorya disappear into the dome and are gone, likely back to that temple to watch from there where they can feel safe from me and wait to see if Keimos can do what he wants to do here. I dodge Keimos' attack - quite a powerful one actually since I've ignored him and that's made him angry. He's also been practicing and getting stronger. I throw an attack back at him to push him back and try to get to the dome again but he refuses to let me pass.

You'd think they'd want me there to begin with. I guess not. They must fear the me that is healthy and living. - I smirk to myself, but then have to focus. Keimos is being insistent.

Our swords, wreathed with power and energy, clash with a resounding _Clang!_ and the explosion blasts us apart. I leap over his head and smash down on him with an energy filled power blast that slams him into the ground. I use the opening that gives me to get closer to the dome.

I'm suddenly blocked by a strange surface. I slash at it to create a tear in it and leap through, only to find I'm looking through the tear at my back, and the tear is closing quickly. Keimos is in front of me now between me and the tear. I quickly turn around and the tear is also behind me, as is Keimos through it and me looking behind me at another tear.

I've never seen anything like this. He's used the power of darkness to create a space that can't be escaped from. He must have gotten frustrated that I kept escaping. He's not going to let me do that this time. The space domes up around us, completely closing us in. _Fine. Let's get this over with quickly._

He's reached a new level of power for sure. He changes into a monster himself - a rather disgusting one that can lick its hair and eyebrows with its own long pointed tongue. He has additional eyeballs not only on his face but now also on the backs of his hands as if all the evil that loves blood and death has come to inhabit him and watch as he dishes it out and likely as he receives it as well. I shiver, then repress my personal reaction.

Doesn't he know that this kind of strength isn't real strength? To have given himself over to this he's lost his sense of personal satisfaction in knowing he can be strong on his own. It's time to let him rest from the wretched existence he's lost himself in now that he's fully mad over his singular desire to defeat me who cannot be defeated.

I call upon the power of light that's within me, feeling it rise up in me more powerful than the Sky Demon, and I center in the calm of that power. Keimos scowls and calls on the power of the earth and darkness and sends the earth itself to attack me, similar to how he controlled the tree roots. I send a blast of energy and power at him and through the earth coming my way.

My attack makes the earth crumble back to the ground and is about to slam into Keimos when he seems to dissolve into dirt himself and disappears with a slurp. There's a similar sound behind me a few seconds later and I can feel him again, now behind me. _He can move through the earth?_ I move to dodge and catch his blow on my sword.

It was a ruse to get close to me. He opens a mouth full of pointed teeth and bites down on my shoulder, pinning me as I gasp in shock. Then I'm being slammed into by three painful spikes of earth coming through my back. He's used again a modification of what worked before. The pain and frustration blast out of me in a large burst of energy that disintegrates the earth spikes and blows him back from me.

I'm most frustrated with myself, that I let him get that close to me. I also should have learned from that previous experience. He hits hard and fast when we get close enough for physical contact. I'm much better off with Keimos keeping my distance. Of course, I wasn't expecting him to be able to move through earth.

I follow up that blast of energy with another one and Keimos slips back into the earth. I have a little problem with that. Because earth is my opposite energy, I can't tell where Keimos is when he's buried in it. I have to wait for him to appear again. When he does I send another blast of energy and he disappears into the earth again.

The next time he appears he's leaping for me and we again clash sword to sword, shield to shield, and an explosion rocks this space we're in. I'm barely holding my own, and being wounded now I'm conserving in between clashes as much as I can. What can I do to shorten this battle?

Then I remember all of the others I've fought who've had this sort of power. Does Keimos also have the seeds of evil within him? I defend myself one more time, sending him back into the earth. How can I get him to hold still long enough that a power attack to get rid of them will hit him? There's one way to do it. If I'm also connected to the earth I'll be able to know where he is. It will tell me. Then I can hit him even while he's still underground.

He sends the earth spikes at me again, staying in hiding this time. That's what I want. My shield disintegrates the small earthen spikes. Frustrated, he sends one large one at me. I allow it to come and to slam into me. Following that link I discover where he is. I put everything I can into one great blow, adding in the earth energy now inside me, and focus it on Keimos' gut.

Air energy doesn't fight air energy. Fire energy dances with fire energy, it doesn't flee from it. Earth energy wants to return to earth energy. And Keimos' evil energy embraces itself. The earth energy, poisoned by his evil energy, mixes with my power and follows the link of like calling to like and unerringly slams into Keimos, felling him from the air. Once I could send the energy back to itself, I couldn't miss him, and his shield and energies wouldn't shield him.

A massive amount of evil spirits, not just evil seeds, leaves Keimos as he falls on the ground. The earth piercing me dissolves away. The shield around us tears at the top and falls back down to the ground, revealing the sky and the ruins again.

I want to get to the cavern and destroy the moonstones, but that additional wound has sapped my strength. I still have the poisonous energy inside me. Noriko would scold me to rest for sure, and my body is in agreement with her. My mind and will argue rather strenuously with both.

It becomes a little bit of a moot point as Keimos rises to his feet again. I'm surprised he can. I suppose I'm a little relieved he didn't blow away like the Brunei brother did. It means he still retains some level of humanity.

Keimos sends a power attack at me, but it's back down to the level he had when he fought me outside Calco. I lightly bat it away with my sword. I could breathe with the wind and do the same, if I had the strength to control the energy. "I'm impressed you didn't fade into dust, Keimos," I say to him. I'll compromise and walk instead of run. That will give my body time to work on healing. I turn for the dome and leave him behind.

"Wait! Izark...wait! Don't turn your back on me!" He sounds almost desperate, as if a child crying out for a parent. I turn back to see and he's pulling the evil spirits back into himself. I really don't think that's a good idea.

My premonition is correct. I've damaged him too much for him to have the strength to control them. He returns to attacking me, and I defend, but the evil spirits start spilling out of him and deforming him in ways that aren't what he was like before. He cries out in distress, but unlike the Grey Bird, he wants them to stay in, to behave. That's not how it works. They only obey strength and evil will, not weakness and petulance.

Still, I also think forcing them out again won't work. He needs to be released from this pathetic existence. There's really only one thing men like him can accept and walk away, and he's asking for it, calling to me with the words of all of them as I turned and walked away. "I can still fight, Izark! Come and let me kill you!" He can't hardly even walk.

I return to him, walking up to him. His face is full of confusion and distrust - of me, of the spirits, of anything really. He could only ever trust in his own strength and now it's gone. Still, he tries to marshal his strength one more time. Before he can move, I slam my hand through his body, which is mostly now evil spirits anyway. "Keimos," I say with conviction, "you are truly the most formidable opponent I have ever fought. I don't think that I will ever meet a more powerful warrior than you." It's true. I likely won't.

His eyes fixed on mine relax. He smiles his proud smile and with a swirl of dust and shadow he disappears, as gone as the Brunei brother. Only his will to be proven the strongest warrior on the planet kept his form together as host to those spirits that are also now gone because I've used light energy in that attack. The evil spirits cannot abide in light energy.

How fragile he was. _You were such a fierce warrior, yet were so easily broken in the end._ It was because he gave up his being and his true strength to the evil, which is a false strength of ash and darkness.

I tremble. Even pulling on that much light energy was too much just yet and my legs buckle. The evil energy coming from the dome rises up in the earth around me again, to pull up the very earth to attack me. The Source of Evil isn't done with me yet, and is powerful enough to do its own work now that I'm weakened. My shields protect me from the smaller poisoned earthen spikes. I'm holding it and hoping my body can recover faster.

Suddenly a flash of light comes from within me - a flash of the power of light that isn't my own energy, nor did I call on it. "_Izark._" It's a whisper felt inside.

"_Noriko?_" Is this Noriko's power? I'm glowing with the light and nothing the evil throws at me can touch me.

The next time it's clearer. "_Izark. Come here. The world of light is here._"

I turn inward, seeking for Noriko. I can feel her and that connection helps me walk to where she's standing. I can hear her words, and I can feel her calm strength, her sure knowledge that she stands in the world of light and has opened the door for us. And then I'm in the world of light, standing in it with her, seeing her spirit. I stand there, feeling this place.

In this place I know things. I know how to reach it again. I know how to come here and be here not just in spirit but physically as well - a thing I know only I and perhaps a very few others will ever be able to do. I know how to access the door to open it for full healing instead of the partial healing I've had until now. And I know that I will never die.

I'm a part of this place and it's a part of me in a way that I'm not sure any other creature is. It's as if I've been born of it from the beginning. This is my true form - a creature of light that was given mortal existence so I could protect and defend my world from the darkness and evil that threatened it. I could go to any world in this place, any universe, and protect it as well. I could send Noriko home (but not bring her back). I am light.

All of this knowledge comes to me in one fast moment. I'll have to meditate on it later. Right now my body is healing and Noriko is here, holding out her hands for me. I take the final step towards her and take her hands in mine, relieved she can be here with me in this new place, even though it only holds peace, warmth, and life.

"_Izark. Can you feel it? That the world of light is where all are connected? Everything is here, all in one. This gentle strength, this energy of light, it is in all things. The river that cooled me, the beautiful field of flowers you showed me, the chimos, Doros and our friends, even you and me. It is within us and within all things._"

I wrap my arms around her and hold her closely to me. "_Noriko_." Here in this place we also are one. If I wanted to never lose her I could take her into me and make her a part of me, and it happens briefly because thought makes it so, but that isn't what I want. I want Noriko as Noriko. So I only hold her warmth in my arms and give her my own and both of us are enveloped in peace and love.

"_Come with me and rid the city of its attackers. It won't take long and then they'll be able to not be afraid. Then I'll go with you._" I don't want to leave the city unprotected and my body needs more time to heal. The light emanating from it is protecting it from all attacks by the Source of Evil - which isn't one. It's merely a strong spirit that's been evil too long and also needs to rest like Keimos needed. I follow Noriko back to her body.

She gives me permission to enter it with her, a new and interesting thing to learn. Each physical body is keyed to the spirit in it and that spirit has to grant permission for other things to enter it - spirit, energy, power. It being her body, I'm careful to be respectful. She rises to her feet and holds out her hand, palm facing outward.

I'll need to use my own spirit to channel my power, which is the power of the world of light, like hers is, but it's different. My power protects, attacks, but it isn't evil, it's cleansing, used with mercy and temperance. I carefully merge my hand and arm with hers and we look out at the monsters of sand that surround the city of Ennemarna. They're only artifacts of power, the same power that's attacking my physical body.

I use my power and intent to destroy the monsters that surround the city. There's no limit to that power when I'm in and part of the world of light itself. But, I know now how to channel it, control it, not let it overwhelm, and how to use only what's necessary. Noriko walks the perimeter of the city wall until all of the monsters have been destroyed.

She returns to a kneeling position so her body can rest again, although she also has been healed by the world of light. We return together to the world of light, following the path her spirit can walk to reach it. "_Thank you, Izark,_" I envelop her again, my love and gratitude for her merging us again. Again I keep it brief. She knows and that's enough. It's time for me to finish my work so I guide her to where my body is. "_You're injured, Izark._"

"_Yes, but the life in the world of light has been healing me. It won't be too much longer._" She understands. Knowledge comes to her from here also. The world of light is thought and everything is known if one desires to know or understand it.

There isn't a need here for her to merge with my physical body. She will come with me, by my side as always. As I return to be with my body, it's brought into the world of light with me so that I stand on the boundary at that nexus of dark and light. It's also the nexus of physical and spiritual. Like I stand balanced between dark and light, I stand at the door between life and death. I can be injured, but I cannot die. This is me, what and who I am.

I am human so I could choose light or dark, good or evil, to care for others or only myself, but I am light also - that which is life and brings life to all that exists. That light exists in everything as well, but in me it's slightly different. I can tell Noriko will want to research that difference. It's a thing that tickles at her curiosity. I smile to myself. I'll let her do that in her own time. It will be fun to watch her eyes light up as she learns new things.

I return to the physical world enough to stand up on my feet and face where I need to go - the doorway back to the place where the evil lives and needs to die. Noriko stands in the doorway to the world of light, keeping it open. The love and peace and strength of the world of light swirls around Noriko and up into me, moving to her will and my need for final healing and energy to complete my task. She smiles. I look back at her, in that place, then want to tease and show her what I can do now that she's here where my power resides.

I'm suddenly in her and around her, filling her and surrounding her with my power so that she can understand it. It's the power of a protector, one who cares for others and understands the responsibility that comes with that power and role. She lifts her face to it and to me, feeling what I feel constantly. I can feel that she's glad that I'm no longer afraid of it, or of myself.

I land in front of her again, folding my arms. It's true. I am whole, one with myself like the World of Light is one with all creation. Noriko is fully anchored, fully peaceful, just as strong - a balance to me and a companion. She's still courageous, still sure. I shake my head at her. "_Noriko-who-is-not-afraid,_" I name her.

"_Izark-who-is-always-kind,_" she names me back.

I frown slightly. That's another way she sees me that I have trouble seeing. "_Can I be kind when I'm angry?_" I'm remembering my anger that Rachef has hurt her, made her afraid.

Noriko is compassion. It surprises me. She has compassion even for her captor? Noriko holds out her hand, palm up. I place my hand on hers, palm down. She shows me what happened while she was with Rachef. His words of emptiness, his expressions in his eyes, her teaching and Rachef's reaction...and all along, her own reactions, including her sorrow and compassion in the end.

"_His walk through life has been hard, Izark. Now that we are in the world of light, when we see him we will understand and know him. There will only be compassion. You can't let it stop you from doing what is necessary. He has chosen starvation, the world of light has begged for release from this evil that stands behind him. The consequence must come._

"_That in itself is compassion as well, for both the original priest of eons ago who still suffers under the ruins, and for Rachef. Anger is a strength, a warning, but it should never be wielded as the sword. Compassion and love are the arm and the sword for the world of light. Empathy the source. You will understand it._"

I trust her for now. She's already understood more about this place that I still need to learn about. Because I want to protect her, for then and for now, I merge with her for longer this time, until we understand one another in a way that can only happen in this place where thoughts and memories cannot be hidden. When that understanding has reached the level it can, we end with gratitude that we've been given one another. I release her and we stand looking at each other once again.

"_I love you, Izark._"

"_I love you, Noriko. ...It's time to go._" I gather myself and my energies up and return to my body where it waits on the planet. She follows me in her way until she is spirit next to me. We look at the dome of darkness. It now has taken on some of the aspects of the spirit that inhabits that place in Reinka. It stares at me in anger, unable to see Noriko or anything of the light.

As I rise to my feet, a great blast of energy is thrown at me. My shield is large with the power I contain within me now. The attack pushes me back but can't reach me. "_Are you alright, Izark?_" Noriko asks.

"_Yes. Are you ready?_"

"_Yes_."

My wings of light unfurl as I call on the full calm strength of the world of light. I approach the dome of darkness and four dark spirits arise out of it, the four spirits of the priests to served the priest of evil. They attack me and I cleanse them with the light, setting them free of their thousands of years prison.

They disappear silently, as weak in their age and darkness as all other things I've fought like them. Take away their connection to the evil dark emotions that trap them here and they become nothing because they had no living substance to begin with.

I'm falling into the darkness of the door between this ruin near Ennemarna and the buried palace on the eastern continent. Because in the world of light distance nearly has no meaning, Noriko comes with me easily. The spirit tries to keep me out but the light passes through it like an oil lamp chases away the darkness of a room.

Neither have substance - darkness and light - but they have effects and darkness can only affect light if light allows it to. Naturally, all light will banish darkness. I am that light come to banish this darkness that has been allowed to grow too large.

"DON'T! Don't come here! Don't destroy my dreams!" With the desperate cry comes a strong energy blast that tries to prevent me from entering the space of the ruins. At first I shield against it but it wasn't the energy of a power that could harm. It was emotion and will only. With a gentle flap of my wings, I pass through it and scatter it.

I understand what Noriko understands because we are in the world of light together. She knows it's Rachef's mind, his emotions, and we are hearing them and feeling them. Whatever control Rachef might have had before on his emotions is gone now that I'm here to face him, whole and unharmed.

We can feel that he's already alone. Even his seer, Gorya, is gone - of his own hubris and carelessness. There's only Rachef, and the priest - the Source of Evil. That spirit is no support for Rachef. He is also only insubstantial emotions.

All of Rachef's memories - of his mother rejecting him as a child (I shiver as I relate to them very well), of Rachef killing her by pushing her down the stairs, being taken in by a kind man, then betraying him, his destruction of everyone who could have turned him to the light if he'd stopped and tried to understand and his repeated rejection of the light, even Noriko's last gesture, the last opportunity given to him by the world of light to turn away from the darkness. We see it all. And all through it is his insistence that only more and more and more of the things that don't satisfy will be an acceptable substitute.

Noriko sighs sadly to herself as I land on the top of a giant moonstone. I can understand now what she meant by being able to become compassionate for even one's enemy. Rachef and I are very similar. We chose opposing paths is the only difference.

There are many moonstones here, the majority of them massive, as tall as we can build houses and buildings, although there are all sizes here. Because we're in the world of light, we can hear the stones and the surroundings. _Incessant desire. Gnawing need. Restless discontent._ The place is full of obsession, obsession for those things that cannot fulfill. "_I have to destroy them all. The Source of Evil survives because of these. They tie him to the world, and amplify his evil,_" I explain to Noriko.

"Stay away from me! Stay away!" Rachef is screaming, his face full of impotent rage and desperation as he looks at me. "Get out of my sight!" The power of his emotions, and the energy of this place give the priest sufficient power to attack me, but my shield of light melts the attack before it can reach me, the same as before, even though this one is more powerful than the earlier ones were. He can no longer touch me.

Rachef takes in a sobbing breath and tries to reason with me, as the memory of his mother's rejection surfaces again. "Don't destroy this place...please," he pleads. Then with more urgency he says, "It took me a long time to find this. If I can conquer this world and shape it according to my own design, I will be freed from these feelings. Despite all my success, I have never found peace. Not until I found this."

"_This is peace?_" I ask, but Rachef doesn't hear.

"_Oh, Rachef, if only you could have heard my words, even just enough to experiment on them. That isn't right. How I wish you could turn your feet back._" Noriko's words also fall on deaf ears. He's not where he can hear or see the world of light, he has walked so far away from it.

When I don't respond to Rachef, he returns to panic. "My sanctuary! ...You cannot destroy my dreams!" His desperation hurts me and I can't look at him. I wish I could take this away for him, undo what he's done to himself. Noriko sends me the small reminder that to let him go is also compassion.

I sigh in my heart, and let the pain go. It's Rachef's pain. It's time to release him from it, even if we carry sorrow that it has come to this as the only way to do it. He won't on his own turn his feet back.

I turn away from Rachef to face the moonstones on the other side. With the power of the world of light I destroy all the moonstones in front of me, the full width of this wide cavern. We can tell it's circular, like a wheel. I spread my wings and begin to fly around the wheel, the moonstones crumbling into dust and shards in front of me as I go. Behind us, we hear Rachef's desolate scream, "NOOO!" as he stumbles through the standing moonstones to see the destruction I'm leaving behind me.

Rachef's soul's pain is heavy and we choose to block it out. We can't carry it for him. It's more power to the priest, however, and one more time that evil spirit tries to attack me, and once again it has no ability to. As I use the power of the world of light to destroy the moonstones, I'm also using it to cleanse the lingering spirits of this place so that they also can be free of this prison.

Noriko takes my hand for comfort as Rachef's wails ring through the emptying room. "_He doesn't understand that it's this place that is preventing him from finding true contentment. He believes the lie that this is where it is. The path he's chosen in his life in an endless road to hell. The farther he travels on this road the worse his hunger becomes. There is no end to it the direction he's going._"

I agree, "_Unfortunately, he's already become a part of this place. When the moonstones lose their power, he will have to die. So..._" Rachef has already also become caught up in the energies held by these moonstones: his desires, will, and energies resonate with them.

"_So?_" Noriko asks as we come around the final bend and Rachef is before us again.

I am compassion. I wish to give this brother one last gift before he also crumbles into dust and smoke. Perhaps we can help him one last time to find the strength to turn around and walk back towards the light where true fulfillment is. I fly directly towards him, pulling back my power as the last of the moonstones crumble beneath me. "_So, before he dies, I want to show him the world of light._"

I wrap my arms around Rachef's shoulders so he can't attack me and lift him up above the sands of moonstone. Rachef's body is already beginning to separate from his spirit, the loss of the moonstones taking the life from it. Noriko wraps her arms around him from the other side of me to anchor his spirit with us just long enough.

"_Rachef, this is the world of light. Look at it so you'll remember. Open your eyes to the world of light._" Our combined warmth, the love and peace of the world of light, swirl around the three of us seeking Rachef's heart, trying to fill the hole that he has for so long starved. "_Find out what you really are. You were always loved._" Together we say it again, wanting him to believe it, because for at least the two of us, and the world of light, it's true. "_You were always loved!_"

With a quiet rustle, the last of Rachef's body disappears into ash and smoke. Above us the entrance to this place begins to close, there no longer being any energy or anchor for it to remain open. I use a powerful stroke of my wings to fly through the closing door and back to the ruins near Ennamarna.

Sadly I whisper, "_I did all I could do for you, Rachef._" We watch the doorway close, the darkness swirling closed until it's gone. "_The rest is up to you. You must try to get back on your feet and crawl out to the world of light._"

We hope that he will, but not many do. Those who walk so far from it rarely try to turn and come back to it, even though it will always welcome them, and gladly. If anywhere in his heart he considered Noriko's words to him before he died, there might be hope for him. I can only hold on to that hope for now.

"_You can go back now, Noriko. I'll be there shortly, but since my body is here, it has to get there. Let the others know you and I are okay and we've defeated the Source of Evil._"

"_You could fly,_" she points out.

I smile at her. "_I will, but only until I see the city. I don't think we need to let them see the full power, even now. There is still evil in the world and much work to be done. It will be easier to do it if we still look like ordinary people._"

"_With extraordinary powers,_" she teases me. I must allow for that.

For just a moment Noriko yearns for Doctor Clairgeeta and turns that way. Because we're still in the World of Light together, I can feel her emotions still, and we can feel his. He's wondering about us, standing in the library of the university.

It takes a moment, then he looks up, then turns to see us. He smiles, happy to see we've accomplished the desire of his heart. He bows and I bow in gratitude for his hope, faith, and assistance when we needed it most. "_Thank you, Doctor Clairgeeta,_" Noriko says with deep gratitude.

"_No. Thank you. Both of you._" We feel like we've just been thanked by the World of Light itself. We bow again and let the vision go.

"_I'll see you, then,_" Noriko says to me and I let her go.

She returns to the door at the nexus that is within my body, lightly touching all of me inside as she goes. I can't help the slight shiver and teasingly scold her. She tells me it's payback for sapphire eyes earlier. I laugh my silent laugh, happy we can be free from fear now, and only love each other. She enters the world of light and returns to her body, leaving me, but I still feel her like I have always felt her from the beginning. I push off the ground and am in flight.

Flight is natural to me, but I play with it to learn it properly, enjoying the sensation of being able to dip and turn, things that I could already do in my martial arts acrobatics, but now I don't have to land or have surfaces to push off from. I just use the wings for that.

I am careful to not blast the desert with my power. That takes more practice - not being too violent with my wings. They are large and powerful so even light movements can move me sufficient distances. It's no wonder I left a large hole in Reinka. I would have used a very powerful sweep of the wings to escape.

When I try to see what that does, going straight up, I end up so high above the planet there isn't air to breathe. That's a marvel - to behold what's above the planet and beyond it, but I don't stay long. It puts too much distress on my body and I don't need to show up in Ennamarna to Noriko's worry and scolding.

I have to wonder if she's seen her own planet like this, or her people have. It's very obvious from there that the planet is round and that it does indeed go around the sun, rather than the reverse. I can sense there are other planets that circle our sun.

I'll ask Noriko about it the next time we have free time for a lesson. Now it's time to return and to be happy with Noriko and our friends that the end of the final confrontation has been the end I wished for it to be from my beginning.


	39. Angry Noriko

I am in so much trouble. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I move any direction I'll be hated, but I have to fix this. Noriko won't answer to any request, emotional or otherwise, and won't let me come near her. Her anger was passed on to all of the ladies and they've all scolded me most soundly as they stalked out of the laundry area of the underground river caverns, carrying their wet burdens to the surface to dry in the sun. The fury of a woman is a very frightening thing.

The man who tries hard inside me wants to mope. I was only thinking of her after all. Now that I've defeated the Source of Evil, the seers are saying the world over that the Sky Demon chose light over evil, life over destruction. The good people of the world rejoice and the evil ones scramble, trying desperately to hold onto whatever power they can.

It will still take time to change things and people's minds, as well as all of the political situations that are falling apart. Still, Noriko doesn't have to be here for all of that. She can go home now. I can send her.

Yes, that does hurt me to say that, but the truth is, now that I'm connected to the World of Light, I don't need to have her by my side as my prevention from becoming Destruction. I would miss her terribly, but I wouldn't die and I wouldn't become evil just because of that. I know how much she misses her family, and how much they miss her now that we can go to the World of Light and see them and know what they're feeling.

Gaya had brought it up as they washed the clothing. I was coming down to join them, tired of sitting in the council room, getting odd looks, adoration, and far more attention than I wanted. I'd paused to hear Noriko's reply. The problem was, I was also worried about this issue at the same time and she picked up on it.

I'm struggling with the fact that since I allowed us to merge enough to truly understand each other, I once again have made an unintentional mistake. Our connection is so close now that sometimes the thoughts cross between us, not just the emotions. It's not all the time, nor even really consistent, so it's harder to practice and learn how to control it.

Surprisingly, it's my turn to be chaotic. Noriko's mind isn't like her emotions which are chaotic. Her mind is sharp, brilliant, and ordered. Only things she's focusing on are at the surface and even then they rarely pass between us. If I focus I can gain a glimpse of what topic she's working on.

My mind ...well, I'm so used to talking to myself in my mind to work things out I don't have many restraints on it I guess. I'm certainly repentant today and have promised myself to work much harder on it. I don't need to have these kinds of results. (I shiver again and try to breathe deeply.)

She arrived in front of me very cross and startled me out of my thoughts. "No! No, Izark!" Her scold was severe and filled with pain. "Stop worrying about sending me back. I know you can. I know they're there and that's one of your gifts. We'll go when we retire...or something.

"It's a gift you _could_ send me, and that's enough. All the worlds are big enough that when one goes traveling to another side of it, then gets married and settles down, one doesn't return. Stop worrying on your own. I'm not leaving!"

She turned from me a half turn and covered her mouth, trying to repress tears. "Unless...unless you really _don't_ want me. I thought...I thought you loved me."

I panicked. I tried to defend my thinking, then realized that it wasn't right. She was playing, making a point, and just as I realized it, she finished making her point. She sent a full wave of anger at me.

I froze. It's such an unusual emotion from her, particularly for me to be the target. I'd been worried until then it could happen, and tried to avoid it, but somehow I'd stepped right in the way of that which is the very angry Noriko.

"I _know_ that Izark. I've been walking beside you for how long now? I know what you are - a traveling warrior. I have been trying my hardest for that whole time to be someone who stands beside you in that position. I've never asked you to be anything else.

"I'm not a delicate flower - not any more - and you wouldn't survive without me next to you anyway, even if you _have_ finally made peace with yourself. Our relationship has evolved again, but it hasn't _de_volved. _I'm not a stay-at-home wife._" The anger and hurt spilled out of her without restraint, drowning me.

Then she took a deep breath to pull it back in at least somewhat. Quietly and firmly, which was even more scary than her fierce scolding, she said, "Fix it, Izark," and walked away to some distant corner of these lower catacombs to recover.

She's not recovering well, though. Her emotions continue to swirl around her, eating at her, and she won't let me help, or even apologize. It's hard to be in her maelstrom, although she's trying to keep it to herself as best she can now that the anger has run it's course and the other emotions have come up over it.

I had to deal with my own emotions, but that had to come after the rest of the scoldings I received. Her words had echoed through the caves to where the other ladies could hear them and I've been roundly told that I'm a cad for thinking such a strong and loyal woman should be left at home to rot, or sent away a disgrace to her family, and after all the effort she's put into standing next to me, too.

Since that wasn't what I was thinking at all, I was rather peeved to be scolded for it. The frustration she would play with my own emotions to make her point got added to that, when she knew it wasn't a truth to begin with.

So as her anger swirled around in her, mine did in me. Like most things along our emotional connection, as that slowed down for both of us, and she went into regret and that slipped into depression, I wasn't too far behind. Those were mostly hers, but she wouldn't let me help her take them to their end, stubbornly refusing to let them go. She just pulled them more closely to her. I didn't like that. It made me feel ...slippery.

It's an odd way to put it. It feels like the goo of the special power of Sido. Like the slime of Nada. Like the whispered warnings of the beginning of those souls who become lost to their darker emotions to be food for the demons. If anything were to teach me that I'm not a demon it would be that. I find it anathema, not food. It's completely counter to the light.

I suppose that's why I'm most desperate to get her to let me help her. I know she wants to apologize, and I would readily forgive. That's all it would take. For her to want to stand in the darkness confuses me, worries me.

I'm not used to her also being human and standing both in darkness and light. She's my source of light, she who showed me it both existed and could be within my reach - for too long, I suppose. She also has the right to choose where she'll stand at any given moment. I...just don't want her to for this long. It makes me sad and hurt for her. I know it's not really where she wants to be.

I also need to apologize. I was thinking for her, rather than thinking of her. That's what she's angry about, I think. Instead of asking her what she wanted I was only thinking she should want to go home. It's taken me some heavy thinking to come around to understanding that's what she might mean about wanting me to fix something. It would be better if we could discuss our future together, rather than worry about it apart.

Honestly, it took Duke Jeida's thoughtful calm words to help me see it. Niana sent him down to talk to me. She worries instead of becoming angry or upset. That's what she was feeling as we told her our story for the first time, and why she opened her mouth to the mayor. She wanted for anyone to help us who could because she was worried about us. She was worried again when she left with the other ladies, worried that we were too angry with each other. She's kind, to worry about us like we're her own children.

I can't know for sure if that's what it is until I've talked to Noriko, so despite my terror that I'll mess things up again and not say things right, I'm hunting her. I'm keeping things at a constant worried emotional level, but trying to hide just how far I am from her physically. It's hard to do when that's our oldest and most practiced connection and I also follow that same link to find her.

When there's only one wall between us, I lean against it to pull some courage from its solid form and cautiously talk to her through the connection so she doesn't hear me being this close. "_Noriko?_"

There's a pause before she answers with a stern, "_Yes?_"

I can only press on. "_...I'm sorry._"

Again the pause, then a _slightly_ softer, "._..Thank you._"

I let her know what I've tried to learn. "_...What do you want?_" She has a flash of a firm feeling that might be approval, but I'm not really confident.

It was sufficient for her to answer to it, which is a lot better than what I was getting before. "_If you really don't want to drag me around after you, send me home. But it isn't what I want. I love you. I'd rather have a real wedding while we're here with friends, then continue to travel with you, adventuring and helping this world fill with light and peace again, then go study with Doctor Clairgeeta, then open a university, or at least be a top person at one. But that's just dreaming._"

Almost all of it was said rather calmly, like she's thought quite a lot about it, really, and I realize I'm quite late to the dance. It's very likely she _was_ angry because I wasn't involving her in my thinking. I wasn't asking her what she'd already thought about. I'm definitely going to have to remember this lesson.

The last sentence, though, needs addressing in a different way. She was quite depressed when she said that one. She doesn't believe her thoughts have meaning or purpose, and perhaps that's also my fault in neglecting to wonder about them. I chance slipping around the corner into the little alcove she's hidden herself in. She ignores me even still, choosing her dark emotions over me, but there's something else faintly there this time.

Noriko's sitting with her knees pulled up, an arm wrapped around them, her cheek on her knee. Her other hand has a finger tracing through the dirt beside her. She looks rather literally like she's emoting: balled up around the pain in her belly and sorrow in her heart.

Because she's choosing to ignore me when she knows full well I'm here, I do as I please. I need to hold her, to comfort her, to help her escape from those feelings. So I settle down behind her, where she can't scratch me from so easily, and slip my arms under hers to hold her close to me and rest my head on hers lightly.

The healing hug does its job and breaks through her stubbornness. I anchor in my calm, quiet love for her and in my emotional apology and allow her to cry out her pain of loneliness. I'm surprised when it leaks out that she was lonely for me, too. That in keeping me away she gave herself that pain.

That's what leaked through and I saw a glimpse of, what let her ignore me so I could come fix it. It's also loneliness for if I were to send her away. I sympathize with that one. I would be very lonely without her, too.

I'm again a little surprised when that emotion relaxes and the next one comes. _When she cries...her emotions are less chaotic? Or is it because she's had the time to feel them all already?_ That surprise is interrupted by the realization of what this one is. It hurts terribly because it's another one I gave her all without understanding. I wasn't rejecting her at all. I was only concerned for her and her feelings towards her family. I don't want to send her away, not really, and I don't hate her.

It hurts enough for her and for me that I turn her towards me and hold her to my heart, as if I could merge with her physically here in this place. "I really am sorry, Noriko." She can feel the apology and acknowledges it, but her pain doesn't go away until it's been cried out.

That's my lesson as to why it's one at a time when she cries. Her tears help her clean them from her soul. We've done it this way before, but not with tears - on her part. I cried them for her because she was too weak of body to do it herself. I sigh and relax a little better. It helps to have that worked out.

Then depression comes. I wait, wondering if this will be the same, but her tears slow and it doesn't go away. It does start to lessen in intensity after a bit, but then stalls as if on a rock that won't go away. Since I only have one clue from what she said before, I try it.

"Noriko, you have wonderful dreams. I think it would be great if you could teach. I've been thinking that once the countries on this content are moving forward again, it would be good to go over and help the eastern continent as well. Doctor Clairgeeta is a good man. He would be good for his country, too."

Because the City of Light repelled the government army and because of the good news about the Sky Demon, Donya has already become a hotbed of civil war and the government has been toppled. The former prime minister, Minister Nash, returned from here to the capital city two days ago.

Zena says the people of Donya have welcomed him back and he's likely to be reinstated as Prime Minister within a month. The other leaders who are here, including Duke Jeida, are beginning to put together their plans to return also. I've been thinking of going with them to help them as needed. I'll wait to talk to Noriko about it until after we have this fixed, though.

My words seem to have been what she needed as the depression goes away and she relaxes enough to say, "Thanks, Izark." That's an improvement, that she's willing to talk to me civilly. We sit for a minute, waiting to see if there are any stray emotions that still need to be dealt with. Those were the worst ones. There is one that's looking at me, but I'm not sure I know what it is.

Noriko decides to ignore it for now and emotionally asks what emotions I have that we should also address. I sigh. While I have some I'm not sure now is the right time. Ah...never mind. She's asked for a specific set. She wants to know why I've been thinking of sending her back. That I should answer now.

I'm mostly worried for her, as usual. She's scolded me for the first one already, but it still has been part of the whole. I'm worried for her safety, worried I'll be busy and miss something that gets through to hurt her while we're fighting together. Noriko sends back the feeling she has when she's holding onto the back of my jacket and she's watching my back.

I know that's what it's from because she sends me the memory of it at the same time. As I said, thoughts - and memories - are part of this new level. She can do that. I'm not sure I could do that. It's more part of her power in the world of light than mine - the power of the mind.

I consider what she's sent, then kiss the top of her head and send back calm strength as I put away the emotion. Her courage is what holds her at my back and keeps her from being worried. She isn't afraid. I'll remember that when the worry comes back again. (Some emotions and worries cycle through many times before they're put to rest. My fear was very much like that.)

I consider my anger, then decide that it won't be resolved here. It needs to be resolved by her, but with others than me. It's something she needs to fix, but I don't need to beat her over the head with it here. Instead, I send her the fear I have of her being angry with me. I don't really want to have it happen again.

I'm not sure I like the grin that comes on her face. "You've lived through this one. They're all the same. I snap inside, growl and snap outside - having my say, then go cool off, followed by remorse, regret, and depression if it was bad. You've handled it well. I don't think that's a problem, really.

"And any husband should have just enough of a healthy sense of self-preservation, I should think." I silently chuckle at that, since she was teasing, using the words I've even heard from married women gossiping together. Still, it doesn't really help me that she thinks this is going to happen again. She recognizes that with a sigh. "I'll try to remember to have a sense of relationship preservation at the same time, though."

I briefly squeeze her. That works for me. "Okay."

She stays there to see if I'll show her anything else, but she still has one left of her own that isn't leaving me alone. I realize she's actually sitting in her internal pool of light - well mine since she's looking at my emotions down where she sees them. Since she's inside me, I can move her. I surround her with my power and strength and pull her back up and into my arms, where she properly settles back into her body.

I think that I'm doing the right thing for the emotion she has, since it looks like insecurity and typically when she feels protected and comforted in my arms that's enough. We sit long enough I get confused, though. It isn't going away. She unexpectedly giggles. "What?" I ask.

"Not everything gets solved so easily...and we do really have it easy compared to everyone else. Everyone else has to guess at the emotions of their partner and can't do what we can. We've run into the same problem everyone else has."

"What's that?" I want to know.

"We have to use our words to communicate." Well, yes. I'm learning that, too. She wasn't willing to let me help her until I came to do just that. "I'm feeling insecure because you haven't told me yet what you've decided to do, what future path you're going to put me on." _Ah...? Oh. Umm... How to address that?_

We haven't actually talked yet, and I don't want to anger her again...but after talking to Duke Jeida, it did occur to me that she probably already knows what I want to do generally. Having her tell me what she wants tells me that, too. We can still talk specifics at any time, but ...given what she said ...oh dear. This is going to be rather embarrassing and difficult, isn't it?

I let go with one arm, and run my hand through my hair, trying to get my thoughts in order. As it gets more and more difficult, I rest my elbow on my raised knee to lean on my hand and look at her as directly as I can which isn't very. "This part is harder, isn't it?"

"Usually, but it's the most effective and necessary." I look away unable to argue. Words may be hard to say but they are that.

My emotions slip out before I can get any words out. Noriko takes a breath and anchors. She turns my head with her hand so I have to look at her again. She's kind, "It's okay, Izark. I won't be angry or bite. I really do want to hear what you have to say."

I sigh. I would be just as happy continuing on with things like they've already been going, but she's asked, and I've already had pressure from the rest of our friends when she isn't around. They also want it and others are stern that we should have it, and before now even. I take a breath for courage. "Noriko, ...will you marry me?" The blush won't be held down now that I've had to say it.

She's suddenly frozen, her eyes wide. All sorts of things go through me, but mostly the thought that if she's going to say she's already decided she wants a formal wedding rather than go home, she should have expected something like this, shouldn't she? (I try to ignore the small but sudden worry if she was hiding that she really does want to go home. We've already gone through this whole mess - I mean lesson - over that.)

Noriko finally blinks, then smiles. "Yes, Izark. Nothing would make me happier. ...Does that mean I can ask Gaya and Zena and the girls to help me plan a wedding?"

To have it said so comfortably... "...Yes."

She throws her arms around my neck. "Thank you, Izark!" Her happy ecstasy swirls around the both of us. It's so sudden and huge I instinctively grab hold of her with my free arm. I would like to calm it down with that much, but it doesn't.

It's a lot better than the unhappy from before. That much makes me happy, but it's a bit hard to tell what's her happy and what's my happy with this much emotion rushing around us. Her emotions when they are like this are like when I use energy. It's even sparking here and there in small bright sparkles of light, bouncing around this little room. I'll have to watch and see just how many emotional attacks against people other than me can prove her emotions are the same as energy. Her scolds come to mind.

"Shhh, shhhh," I finally say with a laugh. "It's nice, but it's like being drowned again."

"I'm sorry," she says, "I can't...but," she takes a breath and tries to get it under control again. It takes a bit until it's contained. I can feel it straining to be let out again. "I'll let it out with the girls who will be just as excited and happy as me. That will get it to settle down, sharing it with them. These kinds only do that, you know, settle when shared, but I know this one's too much for you."

I smile at her and put my hand on her head. "I'm glad you're happy." She tips her head and grins, the light inside shining brightly, but also contained. They go well together.

"Ah, does that mean you're okay with me following after you instead of hiding in your cave?" She's suddenly calm, but worried, the happy becoming distant.

I blink. "You move fast." Even that was out before I've caught up.

"Yeah, I'm a woman?" dryly said as if I didn't already know.

I disbelieve. "Really?"

She affirms, "Yup. Every one of us. I've been protecting you, you know, but I can't forever. You need to understand what reality is and how to deal with it."

I groan, thinking of all the ladies and not so much ladies who've cornered me and made me work for pay because they could. I've been through more drama than I care to live through already. She's heard many of those stories already and was sympathetic then. I suspect she won't be this time. "More lessons? It's really going to be harder?" This one was quite hard, actually, even if I have learned some really important things.

Noriko laughs, "Yes, I'm afraid so." Then she is sympathetic, at least a little, "But then, wouldn't life be boring?"

_Not really. Not when you're around._ But she means if she weren't. After a moment I sigh, "Yeah, I guess so." I'd have to go back to working for people I didn't want to if I wanted that sort of excitement back in my life. At least I get a much better end result if it's her.

She rubs the top of my head, "We'll get to the end of the lessons and be an old married couple eventually, I'm sure."

_Eventually!_ I grab her wrist, move it to my other hand, then rub the top of her head roughly, "Sooner!" I need to let off steam. This lesson has been too much.

She dives in and tickles me. She's too pleased at just how ticklish I am. I'm gasping for air early. What a merciless demon she is when she wants to tease. I can't fight back because I'm too distracted to properly not hurt her. I'm going to have to learn yet another level of control.

I learn it quickly enough. Just enough to finally get Noriko pinned down on the ground so that her tickling hands can't get to me. The laughter is still dancing in her eyes and on her face, but she relaxes and relents. I sigh in relief. I wonder if it's because she had to repress the happy. It came out in another way and we've laughed it out perhaps. It was hard for her to restrain it, after all.

Her hand twitches and I'm suddenly alert and suspicious again, but she's looking at my hair. I glance at it, then raise a surprised eyebrow. I guess I had just enough control already learned from that practice. Carefully I let her hand go and she reaches up and takes the light blue lock that's hanging down in her fingers, curls it slightly around her fingers, and runs her fingers down the lock to its end. I'm wondering if I'll get my repayment for all of what I've just had to go through. Blue will do that to her, so I'm not preventing what she wants to do.

She tugs on the lock in her fingers gently until I lower my head just enough she can kiss the end of it. I can feel her desire rising and she represses it, wanting to just enjoy playing with my hair for a moment. I'm surprised she repressed it. All of the rest of the recent emotions have been rather explosive and that one is usually.

Noriko slowly plays with my hair, focused on the feel and touch, and continues to repress the shudders that go through her faintly. While she's quiet again, I have one more thing to say. "Noriko...," I say quietly to make sure I have the attention of her ears.

"Mmm?"

"Yes." She sends an emotional question. She's forgotten her own question. "Yes, I'm okay with you coming with me. I won't hide you in a cave."

Her fingers have reached the ends of the hair still in her hand. She doesn't let it go, but she does look at me finally, "Thank you." The fight is over. I've learned an angry Noriko will punish me by putting me through more lessons than I have capacity to stand. It is my turn. I give her a kiss to hide my eyes from her and because I want one.

When I rise, my eyes are sapphire blue. Noriko stares into them and is lost until I kiss her again. This time she doesn't explode. Instead, I'm able to love her gently ...until she finally lets it out at the end. It isn't as wild as the other times. It's also very sweet and pleasant. I approve greatly. "Let's do that again."

"Later," she answers. "That took a lot of energy."

"It was very nice, though," I praise her, wanting to make sure we do that again later.

Noriko smiles lazily as she runs her fingers through my hair. "Yeah," she agrees.

When her fingers go from calm to itching to braid, I put a stop to it and languidly stand. I lift her up to her feet. She's calm until she suddenly has wide eyes. "Oh, no!"

"What?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Laundry! I forgot!"

I give her a small smile then turn away, leading her out of the hidden alcove. "Gaya said she'd take care of it." That's all I'll say on that. She'll need to do what needs to be done and they'll surely let her know what that is.


	40. Wedding Preparations

Leaving Noriko to go meet up with the ladies at the laundry drying lines, I continue on up the stairs to the hallway that leads to the council chamber. I lean on a window sill to watch her greet the ladies. They scold her for me and she apologizes. It's enough if she'll set them straight. I'm a little surprised that it's enough for her to tell them that I've agreed to the formal wedding. They decide to forgive me instantly.

I have to sigh. I'm not sure but that isn't more payment from me. She's not understanding again just what it means. Really, she's never understood what she is. This world has been waiting for generations, particularly the last three or four, for the arrival of the Awakening. Because the Legend of Light was buried away, scoffed at, and never told to anyone outside of this city and a few rare individuals, most people are - or were until recently - very afraid of this time. It wasn't just me.

She's been very sheltered by me and by our friends who've shown her only a little of that fear, certainly not as much as they could have. They knew her as the simple girl before they knew she was the Awakening. That made them confused, and eventually was to our benefit because they were able to see how we fit the Legend of Light. If it had been the other way around they would have rejected her (and thus me) before even trying to learn who we really are.

Now that Ennemarna knows who we are, and has been helped by me and has helped me protect her, this is the only city we could hold a public wedding in. The rest of the world is relieved to know the Sky Demon chose the light, but they don't know the rest of the story. Many are still afraid of the Awakening. Some think I killed her. Some think she never really showed up since no one ever saw her but me after the seers said she arrived, so I therefore never was changed into Destruction.

To learn that the Sky Demon was marrying the Awakening might make some think I changed her instead, but most would be not only shocked but would try to actively prevent it. Just because I chose light recently wouldn't mean she couldn't change me into Destruction later, particularly if we're so close as marriage.

The Legend of Light will have to be spread far and wide before the world will settle and we could let everyone know what we are. I'd be surprised if that happens in her lifetime. Likely we'll keep it secret anyway, except from the heads of state who may need to know who we are. (The leaders here have asked me for at least that much. ...We'll see.)

As the ladies get into the details of the wedding planning - me listening in with half my attention so I can learn more about Noriko's world's traditions - I can only sigh and put my head on my arms.

"Izark?" Agol's steps and words are still soft and kind around me. Watching us these last several days has made his own pain rise to the surface and he wants to help me. I let him approach this time. Now is the time to practice being a friend and having friends. I do want them to be that, for all I don't know how to go about doing it.

I shift to the side, standing against the side of the window opening and fold my arms, to let him look out the window with me. His eyes find the ladies of our group rather quickly. "They're rather animated."

I nod but don't look at him. He looks at me and judges what he sees. "You're not very happy, though. Care to talk about it?"

I ponder what I want to say. It's likely to come out as randomly as my mental meanderings, except I don't like to talk that much. I finally sigh. "She asked for the formal wedding."

Agol stiffens fractionally. He puts a hand briefly on my arm, then removes it. He knows I don't really like the physical comfort, but I know others need to express their emotions that way sometimes. That was about right for both. "What is it?" he asks quietly.

"The world won't accept it," I say almost bitterly. "As long as they can't see us specifically to know who we are, we can escape being hunted down." I take a breath and look around the expanse of the inner fields of the city where they grow their crops, watered from the underground river. "Here it will be okay."

I look at him from the corner of my eye. "I'd rather not be locked into this as my prison for the rest of the time we're on the planet." Agol shakes his head, understanding both what the reaction of the world will be and what all of my concerns are. It's rather obvious (except to Noriko and those who've been pushing me).

Really, half of the push is coming from those who know she keeps me walking in the light. They know it's really the reverse of what the world fears. If we're _not_ married, there's the possibility someday I could revert back into Destruction, not having my anchor of light here to help me prevent it. I don't think it could happen - not any more - but even I can't guarantee it, so I don't argue.

I suspect Agol falls under that category, but it doesn't bother me. I'd almost rather that be the case than the other. At least then I can know he supports us as we continue to try to walk the direction we want to go.

"She still doesn't understand," I say quietly. "I don't really want her to. I don't want her to know how much this world fears her. It would make her too sad." Likely sad enough to want to go home. I hang my head. Really there are so many reasons she should want to go home and most of them she doesn't even know ...and I selfishly can't tell her. I want her to be able to be here happily if she's determined to stay.

"She won't go back?" Agol asks. It's the other hope of those who fear her being here, that she'll just leave peacefully. Those would hound her mercilessly, trying to make her want to go back until she did and left our world in a non-thinking peace.

I shake my head. It brings back the painful fight of this morning, but he doesn't need to know about that. I think all of our friends understand by now that it's she that refuses to leave my side. Even Banadam had that pounded into him by her. He mopes and gives me glares still, but I think they're warning glares that I'd better take care of her properly since she won't let him do it.

"Hmm," Agol leans on the other side of the window frame and folds him arms, mirroring me. His eyes are also on the ladies, but he's thinking. His eyes go to one in particular. "The Duchess will make it into a formal noble affair, too." I can only groan slightly and he gives me a sympathetic look. Then he turns enough to really face me.

"You know, weddings are very stressful, but they're also very significant. That is, significant to the people being married. It's the time you're really letting your special someone know just how much they mean to you. To have the courage to do that publicly is to tell all those who witness it that, too.

"It's okay to want it to be small and quiet, but it's also okay to include in it what you want to remember into your future together. I'm going to assume that you're having it here not just because no one will kill you for doing it, but also because the people you care about are here." Agol's raised an eyebrow at me.

I give him a dark look for just saying the former outright, but have to agree with the latter. "Even she knows we'll all be going separate ways. It's not likely we'll all be together in one place again."

He gives a faint nod, his eyes going distant. "And I'll also assume you've told her you'll do it because you want to see her happy and it's a gift you can give her, even if it is difficult."

I don't answer, but the heat in my ears and neck answer that sufficiently. I'll assume every groom feels that way about weddings.

He looks back out the window to the ladies again. Softly he says, "You'll survive it and then do what you always do to keep moving forward. It's worth it, in the end, to see the expressions on her face that day, and then get to hold them with you forever after that."

I look away at that one. I would like that, to be able to hold her happy expressions of the wedding day for forever when I'll only get to hold her for as long as her life. To have my own emotions of gratitude and love for her, and knowing I was able to give her that gift to go along with them would be good. Certainly I've had to do far more embarrassing things in public for lesser reasons than that. Calco comes to mind, but it wasn't the worst.

I sigh. "I'll need constant reminders."

"Can do," he answers. He looks like he's remembering that he needed his own.

I face him, now. "What are you thinking of doing next?"

Agol shifts into a more comfortable position. "I'd like to keep helping. It worries me to drag Geena around with me as a child, but she always smiles and tells me she's just glad she can come with me. I had to leave her with my mother before and that made her miss me too much."

He looks away. "I took the job to come look for you two because I both needed to have her with me for it and because I could bring her. I couldn't take her with me out fighting before that." That makes sense.

After a bit of a pause, I say, "I'm glad it was you and not Keimos." He laughs a brief agreement. If Noriko had landed in Keimos' lap he would have killed Noriko before the bullies reached her. Then he would have killed the bullies for sport. It's not a good thought so I stop going that direction.

"Actually," Agol continues, turning a bit red and still not looking at me very much, "I'd like to keep helping you and Noriko. You're both patient with Geena, and I think you could use a dedicated seer. Not only to know where to go to help people while things are being put right again, but after. If the leaders of the nations need you, Geena would be there to tell you. I'll have to take care of her for all her life. If I could serve in your house for all of mine, I think that wouldn't be a bad thing." His eyes turn to look back into mine.

I fight the embarrassment down. I was going here. "I'd also like the additional sword at my back to watch Noriko. She's insisted she's going to keep walking my path with me. When we get to settle down, I expect to be wealthy enough to need help with the household. She's already begun earning enough that I won't have to work by the time the world's settled. We'll likely be a busy but quiet household. She wants to be at the university to teach, plus continue her research."

Agol's eyebrow raises at my claim that Noriko's going to support us, and at such a level, but I maintain an honest, sober face. I watched the ladies that day. If she's told even one other blacksmith about her other world technology, made him write up a contract, and had ladies that excited, she's not done. She's a better negotiator than I am. She didn't let the opportunity to earn coin pass her by.

Since Agol was already thinking it himself, he only nods to the rest. It fits with his personal preferences as well. Quiet stability after all the early chaos is over will be good for Geena, and she can help with what she can, even if it's to keep Noriko company while I have to be off in another country for my own work. I look out the window and we dicker briefly his salary as I watch the ladies again.

Noriko's smile is large and I can feel the happy she had to contain for me is becoming calmer as she shares it with the other ladies. It's good to be able to see her so happy finally.

-o-o-o-

"Here you are, Izark! Agol." Barago nods at Agol as he confronts me. "You keep escaping the council and the men of the city are disappointed."

I roll my eyes at him. "Like I need to be deified. I'm going to go with Noriko's firm claim. I'm just a wandering swordsman who happened to get an odd fortune at birth. Can't we leave it at that?"

Barago laughs at me, then leans over my shoulder, because he couldn't just look out the window between the two of us. "What is it?" It doesn't take his eyes very long. "Ah. Watching over her even when it's only laundry?" He knows why I do it. He was there at the house when Wazalotte's people showed up. I ignore the tease.

There's a pause, then he says, "What are they talking about? That looks like a serious meeting."

"It is," Agol answers. "Wedding planning committee meeting."

"Seriously?!" A heavy hand slams down on my shoulder a few times. "Congratulations! You managed to open your mouth did you?"

Once I'm not being jarred too much, I answer quietly, "She asked for it. ...But yes, I did." I take a breath and lightly sigh it out. "I haven't ever seen her happier."

That calms Barago down. I think sometimes he teases just because he wants to know I'm a living emotional being. Noriko's told me I hide emotions pretty deeply. Maybe he's trying to crack through the mask he sees. If I say it openly, maybe he'll tease less.

"Good, good," he nods. "It's good to make the Lady happy." Then he shivers slightly. "Especially that one. Angry Noriko isn't someone to trifle with."

I nod in sober agreement. His small scold pales in comparison to what I went through this morning. "Angry Noriko spills over into as many women happen to be around, just like happy Noriko," I warn him, looking down on the happy gathering. When he wants to know how I know, I don't answer.

Agol steps in to calm Barago down. They did that at the house, too. If Agol thinks Barago's overstepped his bounds he scolds. That's why I asked Agol first. I turn a look onto Agol. "What's Barago doing next?"

Barago's slightly offended I've ignored the fact he's standing there, but Agol gets his attention. "You've said you were thinking of continuing to help the work to reinstate good men back into office, but have you thought past that yet, Barago?"

Barago shifts to stand between us, but not too close. He rubs his chin, then folds his arms, and his eyes stare at me. I continue to pay attention but watch Noriko. She's listening to Niana's explanation of some of our world's wedding traditions, now that she's done talking about her world's traditions. "I've already decided to stay by Izark's side. He stole me away from a lucrative position. He can repay that."

"With what coin have I paid you to stay there?" I complain at him without turning around. "And with what pay will a wandering swordsman continue to pay you?" Agol can't help the secret smile but Barago doesn't know what I've told him yet.

"The coin you just stole from the Donya army," Barago won't let me get away with that. "You carried six bags full of gold out of there and could have taken more if you could swing a sword at the same time. That's enough to be wealthy for a long time. I would think you could share a few coin with me since I'm going to help you protect Noriko."

"Haven't you gotten your own coin from that already?" I say back. I've already told them about asking the council for coin from the army coffers.

"Well, yeah, but I'm talking about for after we leave here. That much paid me for following you around before now."

I roll my eyes and let Agol take back over the negotiations. I want to know how good a negotiator he is, although I think it's reasonable. He never overspent when he went into town while we were at the house. When that negotiation is done, I add in at the end, "...and it's for life, Barago. You've chosen it, it will stand."

He blinks in surprise, and turns to Agol to complain, but Agol interrupts him with a raised hand and explains. By the time he's done Barago is content, like I already knew he would be. Barago turns back to me. "Are you going to bring anyone else in?"

"No. We don't need more than the two of you. It will be a simple enough life. I'm expecting she'll go between universities, actually, so we'll likely leave the two of you on this side to see to the house. She won't leave Doctor Clairgeeta's side over there. I'm planning on asking him if we can stay with him when we're there."

I give them a sly look. "He won't refuse. We've been his research for his whole life, after all." They both laugh at that. It won't bother me. He's a calm person full of light and can keep me company when she gets lost in her research. "We'll want Geena on this side then anyway so Noriko can make sure her projects on this side stay going well while we're there."

Barago's brow furrows. "Have you actually talked to her yet about all of this?"

"In summary," I admit. "We still need to talk about the details, but I've watched her this whole time. She already has large plans since she's decided to stay. I'll have to hold her back and hold her down. She wants to move fast for this world."

I look at them both soberly. "Her world is far more advanced than this one and she can't keep her mouth closed. She insists she was still only a student below the level of university, but our universities can't touch what she knows."

Their eyes go wide. "And ...she wants to teach it?" Agol finally asks. He's understood.

Barago gives a low whistle. "If she sold that, you _would_ be wealthy." I agree silently again. They both look out the window at her more soberly. "She could be more dangerous in ways no one understands."

I sigh. "Thus why I'm not happy to have a large wedding." Well, one of the reasons.

"And why you'd send her home," Barago points out. It's irritating that like Noriko he can always understand things too easily, and says them out loud. I don't answer him, though. It's rather obvious. He looks at Agol, who shakes his head, telling him I've already said she won't go. Barago sighs. "Well, I guess it's good to know your woman won't leave your side. Don't have to worry about ever being jealous."

I snort a laugh. "Like that stops anyone?"

Agol tries to get me to forgive Banadam again, but I shake my head at him. "It happened frequently. I had to chase them off in every village we went to, and the farmer's son never forgave me, even though she and I slept in the same room in his own house every night." Their eyes go wide and Barago laughs for a long time.

Now that I know what it is, I think it's because they could see the World of Light in her and it drew them. That's actually a good thing, I suppose. It meant they were decent enough people themselves - and they were and are - it was just annoying.

The ladies are getting into the details now. "So, help me plan. She's going to ask what I want soon. I've never been in a wedding, only been used to make other's jealous enough to get them to finally ask." Agol smiles a small smile and Barago is humored yet again, but they help me so that when Noriko does ask I have things I can tell her.

-o-o-o-

There's one important thing to do before we get too far into the wedding planning. Once they've helped me come up with what to tell Noriko, I send Agol and Barago to the council chamber. Agol to talk to the mayor and Barago to find the men who've been part of our journey to this place.

I soak up Noriko's peace and contentment while alone for a while, then make my slow way to the council chamber. Barago meets me along the way to let me know the men are gathered. He walks in behind me in his place as guard and retainer.

It's interesting to me that I can still remember my lessons as a child in my parent's manor home for proper lordship. I never thought I'd use them after I left there, but I expect I'll use them a lot with people saying I'm going to be facing kings. I did have to use them on the servant's side in my wandering swordsman work, but this is what I was born to - to be the noble. I hope I can stay a minor noble. That would be fine.

Perhaps that's what Noriko saw when she said I was the Fairy King on the ship. I was being like that to the ship's captain, I guess. I sigh at myself. I'm the one who said he wanted to become the Fairy King, and I guess here I am finally. It makes my insides squirm just a little. I also didn't really expect to get here, even if I did want to be able to walk next to Noriko's fanciful Fairy Queen. It was as much role playing for me as her at the time.

How is it that such things eventually become reality? I understood the part where inside we become it, but how that affects others on the outside of us was something I hadn't properly considered. I'll have to do that next.

The men I've called are already standing near the Mayor with Agol. "_Is there anything else you wanted to add?_" Noriko asks me.

I tell her everything else is fine as I approach the Mayor to bow to him slightly. "According to the traditions of our world, I would like to properly announce my engagement now that I'm in a place where I can." I sent Agol in to stand in the stead of my father. He's already made his statement.

"Please call for the bride," the Mayor requests. He's trying to hide his delight. We will make Ennemarna a place of history yet again.

"_Come here,_" I request Noriko.

"_Where are you?_" she asks.

"_In the council chamber._" She should just be able to follow our connection, but her mind is full of other things, and when she's relaxed she doesn't remember anyway, just like at the farming village. I don't mind. It's a simple thing to say and I'm glad she can be relaxed. I think she might not be for very long, unless she's a lot stronger than I am when it comes to being in the public eye. Sometimes she is.

"_Okay. Be there in a bit. I'm on my way._" She's not so calm suddenly, but Niana, Gaya, and Zena are with her to explain.

I turn to face the door to the council chamber when Noriko's close. The room has been whispering in confusion since I didn't send anyone out to fetch Noriko to answer Mayor Mardwoog's request.

Noriko walks into the room with a flower crown on her head, followed by Gaya and Niana and the other ladies in procession. She unknowingly gave them the positions of mother and head lady in waiting when she turned to them to understand the wedding traditions.

They're both pleased, and good choices for it, in my opinion. When Noriko looks at me with a question on her face, I can only smile. I'm very proud of her. She continues to move forward with courage and grace.

I hold out my hand for hers. When we're holding hands I turn us to face the Mayor and bow slightly again. She bows with me, following my lead. "Mayor Mardwoog, please accept our announcement of intention to marry. We would like to complete the wedding while we're still surrounded by friends and those who support us. May we have your permission?"

Mayor Mardwoog smiles. "I'm sure the citizens of Ennemarna would be happy to host it, Izark and Noriko. Thank you for allowing us to participate in such an auspicious event. Surely all other cities will be supremely jealous that the City of Light was fortunate enough to see the Sky Dragon and Awakening joined in marriage."

Noriko is as gracious as ever when she plays the Fairy Queen, "What better place than the one that has always been the location of those who love the light? We already can't repay you and Ennemarna for the service you've given to us. To ask more and have it received so kindly...thank you."

Mayor Mardwoog's eyes sparkle, "We'll consider being able to host your wedding as payment enough. Have you chosen your specific requirements yet?"

Noriko turns to the ladies behind her. "Please work with Grand Duchess Niana. She'll handle the details as the coordinator, with the assistance of Gaya."

Noriko is swimming in deep water, not knowing the traditions, so I pull her closer to me by tucking her hand in my arm so that Niana can properly face Mayor Mardwoog. I'm also just as happy to have Niana take over, and Agol. They've both already been married so know what they're doing, and they know what we want. That would be why I called for him before coming here. I'm also swimming in deep water.

-o-o-o-

The city has become very busy with wedding preparations. Agol keeps my schedule, and I've let him know I don't want to be standing around doing nothing. I'll have to panic if I have time to think. I've even been carrying heavy loads around to the protestations of many who don't want me to work for my own wedding.

I only smile and say I want to help those who are being so kind to Noriko and I. Then they can't complain quite so strenuously. Some of the older married men understand, and some merely laugh at me and shoo me off as soon as I've put my burden down. Still, I would rather do what I can to help. That would normally be my responsibility, after all.

Noriko and the girls were busy with their own preparations yesterday. Today I know they'll surface at some point to shop, so I'm keeping a light connection to Noriko open, mostly on the emotional level since that's where she's the least controlled still, and other than keeping my thoughts to myself, it's where I still need practice.

I know she's come outside because the burdens pressing down on her lift. She goes to surprise, seeing for the first time what the city is turning into. Then it's slight frustration, then fear.

I stop what I'm doing. I think I might know what it is, but that combination in the past has always presaged bad things for us, so I don't want to just assume. Agol wants to know what it is. I tell him, "Noriko's calling. I'll return later." He nods. He knows she comes before any work to be done.

Noriko's emotions are roiling and fear and panic are the strongest. They pull at me and my own that I've been burying very tightly as far down as I can get them. I run to her quickly, jumping over things in my way if I need to, until I can see her hunched down over her knees. Glocia is sitting on the ground in front of her, as if she were pushed. Noriko looks very much like she wants to throw up, actually. The panic inside is rather like that, too.

I wrap Noriko in my arms, sending her comfort and the surety of my love for her, trying to help her. She turns to me and sobs into my jacket. "What is it?" I ask, concerned now that it's been something between her and Glocia, who's sitting puzzled and concerned in front of me. "What happened?"

"Ah...," Anita isn't sure what to say.

"Izark," Glocia says concerned, "it's too much. She's overwhelmed. She wasn't expecting it to be so big." I reach out my hand to Glocia and give her the support to rise up from her undignified position. It's as I thought. "She's asked if the ceremony can at least be practiced so she knows what to expect." Glocia frowns a little. "It's a reasonable request, actually, since she doesn't know."

I'm suddenly glad Noriko has her own solution that will help me, too. I brush her head with my hand. "It's the fear of the unknown, then?" I've understood. "Alright. I'll set it up with Niana and the mayor."

"_How can you be so calm about it?_" It comes across more bitter than she intended and she sends an immediate apology.

I'm not offended. She's been too busy to consider anything other than herself and her tasks. I allow her to peek at the emotions I'm hiding. Because they're the same as hers, I block them back up quickly. We don't need to be overwhelmed by them.

"_Actually, I'm glad you've pushed for the practice. I'd rather not trip over my feet either. My legs are longer so I'm more likely to do it than you. And...they expect me to know it, too, for some reason. It will be easier to say it's because you come from another world._"

"_Yeah, I don't mind being the reason. Even you need to uphold your reputation._" That embarrasses me, that she should think I would want to show everyone a proud face, but she's firm in her insistence that if the wedding will be this formal, then we should meet the expectations about what the Sky Demon is. "_Thanks, Izark,_" she says as she finally calms down.

I kiss the top of her head, a little surprised at how lonely I'm suddenly feeling. We've been separated by our tasks and she doesn't visit with me during the day when she's so focused. I haven't wanted to interrupt her, either, since I don't want to be a distraction from important things. "_You'll make up with Glocia?_"

"_Yes_."

"_Okay_." I stand, bringing her with me.

Noriko wipes her eyes and face. "I'm sorry, Glocia. Thank you."

Glocia looks away and shrugs, uncomfortable, "Well, we should try to remember, but it's hard sometimes when you look like you've got it all under control most of the time."

Noriko sighs. "Well..., I'll try not to pretend I'm okay when I'm not, then, so you can know sooner."

I shake my head at her. That's not what it is, and she should be honest with her friends. She's unable to face them, or perhaps it's the truth she'd rather not face, but I think this is important. It's also more like her to want to be honest with them. Perhaps she doesn't see it.

"Noriko's always been afraid, Glocia, since she got here, but has never been able to be anything but strong. It will be easier if you just assume all the time that she's afraid, then be wrong when she's not.

"Her world is so different...there really is no comparison. It has countryside, cities, and towns; families love each other; and nations war or have peace, but that's all that's the same. Everything else is different." I pause, then reach for Noriko, my heart feeling compassion. She's still looking down at the ground, a bit pink in the ear that I've said it so openly - what she hides behind all of the parts she plays.

I brush the hair back from her cheek, just a little touch to comfort her. "That's the reason I thought to send you back, Noriko. This place is not home for you. It's more foreign than just moving from one country to another."

She can only agree, but she looks up at me, the Teacher to explain her courage: "That's true, but there's a thing about humans. ...They're the most adaptable species in the world and the universes. ...And the young adapt the fastest. I'll take longer than a five or six year old would to adapt to this world, but I will adapt.

"Each new experience teaches me, and I have you and Glocia and the others to protect me so that the experiences don't kill me. Some year, it _will_ be home. ...Of that, I have no doubt." Her calm courage surrounds me. I can finally only sigh and let my sorrow for her go. She still will not leave me, even so.

I squeeze her hand and let it go. "Where were you ladies going?" I turn the topic away from Noriko so she and I can recover properly. I need the distraction.

"Shopping!" Anita is happy for the conversation to change.

"Sounds like fun," I smile to further lighten the mood. I think I'd better stay with them. Not because Noriko is going to run into trouble in this city (although she might - there are other visitors here) but because I need to be near her for a while. Plus, I like watching her shop. It's fun to watch her out-negotiate wizened merchants who give in to her because they like her.

It becomes a more interesting shopping trip than I thought it would be. The merchants work hard not to sell her things (and me since I'm along) but to gift things. I watch her work hard to refuse to accept gifts. If she wants something she becomes careful how she words her desires and requests, and she always pays a reasonable price for it.

After she's practiced for a while she asks me if I've been watching long enough now to understand what she's learned. (I've practiced saying, "No, thank you. I'm just along as the companion today.") "_It looks like it's rather difficult, actually. I would have caved more than once when you didn't,_" I say.

She puts down the item she was looking at as if disinterested now that she's looked at it closer, and scans the other things in the display. "_It is. It's going to take a long time to really learn it. It would be nice if we only have to deal with it here, not at the other cities and towns we go to later._"

"_Even then, it would be good to learn that kind of restraint. We don't know what will happen in the future._" I'm still thinking of the future and I have to tease. "_If you become president of a university, you'll need to know it, most likely._"

"_Hmm...maybe._" She's too distracted by the shopping to rise to the tease, but it's enough to be with her today. I'm still learning good things.

When the girls whisper-scold Noriko, I pretend not to hear, but it's true I'd forgotten about the wedding present I'd ordered. This would be a good time to see how it's coming along. While she has companions with her I can do it and we're close to the place. I wander off to do that and she respectfully doesn't pay attention.

I'm pleased with the result. Now that I've watched Noriko in the market, I know not to take the low price the artisan charges me. Instead I just hand over what he should have asked for, thanking him kindly for his efforts.

Shortly after I return to Noriko, the other girls give their excuses. I've heard enough of those to know that they want to let us have "date" time, and have other ulterior motives. I don't complain. I'm happy to have the excuse for once.

Noriko takes me back to a jeweler's stand we passed before, and explains on the way that she wants to get gifts for each of the girls and for Niana, Gaya, and Zena who are working so hard in our behalf. That sounds like a good thing to me. I should also get something small for the men while we're there.

Noriko dances from foot to foot before we approach the merchant. I wonder if she's unsure she can buy that much and not allow for the larger discount. I'll have to work hard to not have my coin pinching habit win out. When she finally asks me if she can be allowed to spend a lot since she wants to buy them nice enough pieces to really express our gratitude properly, I'm reminded that she usually buys the least expensive thing she can.

I haven't told her yet how much I earned from the Donya army, I realize. She's also used to us not having very much and watching what we do have. Today she doesn't have to worry. We can spend to buy our friends good gifts.

Brushing her hair back from her ear, I lean down and whisper in her ear just how much I took from the army of Donya. I want to tease her romantically, so I've said it that way. I get an unexpected reaction. Instead of a blush, she desperately whispers, "Don't move."

"Why?" I whisper back, wondering what I've done.

"I'll explode if you do. That was a very dangerous combination and I'm not holding on too well."

I silently laugh at her. This is a very good reaction. "Breathe." I whisper one more time, making the word breathe on her ear on purpose. I really did get a very good reaction. She's immediately rising, faster than she should. I can't help but laugh, but at the same time this is as dangerous as she warned.

I grab her up and leap for the roof of a nearby stable, then over the edge into a quiet alleyway. Noriko manages to hold on until we get there, but she's filling up very quickly. I hold her tightly and she buries her head in my chest so that when it comes it's at least somewhat muffled for the both of us.

"Really, Noriko," I lean down and complain quietly in her ear, a few tears leaking from my eyes in physical reaction to her reaction. "That was rather violent." I think I'll have to reserve that sort of thing for rare times.

"I'm sorry, Izark," Noriko says humbly. "May I recommend you not do that again? To tell a woman your value monetarily at the same time as she is feeling your other values is rather overwhelming, when both are as highly rare as you are. Most particularly, don't ever do that to another woman than me. I'll have to hide you and your treasure in _my_ cave and never let you out."

I wipe my eye. This can happen for other women than her? But then I remember and know it. It's what makes a woman look at a man greedily - if she thinks he is both beautiful and wealthy. I'm a little surprised it worked so well on her. I have to tease her again. "You're finally admitting you're a dragon, too?"

"Finally?" She raises her eyebrow at me. "When did I become a dragon?"

"This whole time?" She's confused. "Remember I said I wondered what kind of creature I had taken from the Sea of Trees, when you were giving me my first lecture?" She remembers. "I've decided it was a dragon. What little you've told me of them, it fits." She doesn't see it. I try again. "Mm. Do you remember when you ran away, on the way to Gaya's?"

"That's when I first saw your dragon," she says.

"But it's also when I first saw the dragon in you, I think. You said to me that I would be back, and you looked at me with eyes that said that I was yours and there was nothing I could do about it. You would keep me as yours no matter what came.

"When you came to brush my hair the next morning, having you braid my hair and put the bandanna on me - it felt like you were putting the chain and collar on me, even though you were letting me walk away. Every time you protected me, you had that look, too, and the fierceness behind it."

Noriko considers it, then agrees. "Yes, I can see it. Those would all be very dragon-like moments." She teases me back, sliding her arms around me and holding me tightly as if to not ever let me go. "You are mine. My very precious treasure. Don't go too far away, and always come back. Stay safe for me."

Yes, she is a dragon, and she owns me, because she won't let me go. One that I love and don't want to let leave me. As I lean down to steal a kiss, she adds, "And keep the gold safe for me, too. I can't earn it like you can."

That's only true at the moment, but if my gold is hers because she owns me... I steal my kiss first. "You won't spend it all, will you?" I want to know.

"No. I want to lie on it and run my fingers through it and save it forever." Noriko runs her fingers into my hair, as if she would love to run her fingers through the gold just as much. It feels almost the same, just more greedy. I tickle her to get her to stop feeling that way and she laughs at me, enjoying her tease.

I relent with a sigh. "No, I know you do," I say, kissing her cheek. "You're already a better bargainer than I am. I don't mind sharing my treasure with you...my most precious treasure." And that is why. Because I am the dragon that owns her and will never let her go, even though she steal my gold away. If it were to disappear, I would still be content if she were by my side.

Ah, it's been too long and we've been too close, dragons too long in this time and place. She's the one with the strength to separate us by distance, pulling away. I'm reluctant, even still, but she has shopping she wants to finish first. I finally relent - just enough for that much. I think I will steal her away to my cave once that much is done - as my payment.


	41. Promises

Once again I am headed for a frantic Noriko. Once again it is out a door and up through a window. Did she feel like this when she was stolen from me before? I'm desperately hoping not. I don't need that kind of addition to my already turmoiled mind and heart. I've been having only nightmares, waking and sleeping, the closer we get to the wedding itself.

I'm suddenly confused, though. Outside the door, over the city, is a thing never seen before. It's a double rainbow in the middle of the desert, one that sparkles and shines in all the colors that exist on this planet.

Noriko told me that she finds them beautiful since many of the colors here are not on her home planet. She thinks our sun might be a different color than hers, but that lesson went over my head, past how light passing through the right material spreads to show all of the colors that are in it.

She truly believes that the rainbows we see are messages from the World of Light. Why is she panicked at the same time as there is a double rainbow? That almost makes me panic more. We saw a rainbow only a few days before she was stolen from me by Rachef and they almost won the first time.

I'm up in the window she's looking out of, needing to have my eyes on her. Her overwhelming emotion now is relief. The girls are watching the tears stream down Noriko's face in shock, not knowing what to do.

They see me and with grateful looks quietly excuse themselves from the room. They've learned now that only I can handle the tearful Noriko, who is overwhelming for the people of this planet. It really is a special power of hers. She said it embarrasses her because her people are like the people here. They also wouldn't know what to do with so many tears.

I think it comes from the depths of the pain of being stolen. If the World of Light hadn't stolen her from her home there wouldn't have been this ocean of pain for the tears to come from, nor the rift in her that lets them escape. Many are the times I've scolded the World of Light for having done it and received only silence.

This time, I take pause. Something different has happened. Noriko looks...older. A whisper of power swirls around her, but what it is exactly is hard to tell since her tears and sobs unabated hide it. Perhaps it's the power of her tears. I'm not sure, but I don't want to enter that space and find out. I'm not too emotionally stable and we don't need to have me added to whatever she's trying to recover from.

Because I'm here with her now and can watch over her, I quietly move to sit on the bed near the window and just wait this time. I'm not sure I've ever seen her cry this hard. Maybe when we were leaving the cavern in the caves to walk out of them, to walk away from everything that she'd known into this world of the unknown. _She isn't finally admitting how much it hurts to turn away from her home and family, is she? What relieved her? To see me?_

It's one of my nightmares. I don't want to go through with the wedding only to have her say to me in a month, year, twenty years, that she hates me for keeping her, for not making her go home. Even worse...well, I can't even think it, it's such a horrible thought. If I do, I won't be able to keep it down, and she's finally recovering.

Noriko is quite the mess. I hand her a handkerchief, relieved to not have it be my jacket this time. She takes it, uses it, then sighs. "Sorry. I'm better now."

"That's good." She blinks at me in surprise. I guess she thought the girls would still be here.

"How do you always show up at times like this?" I raise an eyebrow at her. "Ah, right. Sorry. I didn't mean to drag you out again." She takes a deep breath, seeming still a little scattered.

"Are you sure you're better?" I ask. She looks a little better, but the power is still swirling lightly around her.

"Well, it was a deep worry," she answers. "Those take a little longer to recover from, but I am better."

That points to my confusion. "A worry? It was a rainbow, a double one even. Those don't usually worry you."

"You saw it?"

"I came out to get to you from below - it was faster - and saw it. You didn't see me come in the window?"

Noriko shakes her head. "I wasn't seeing anything by then." Well, with that level of tears, it isn't surprising.

I watch her a moment longer. "Noriko...will you tell me? You look different."

Her eyes widen. "In what way?"

I taste her power just ever so lightly. It's not tears. Its her power from the World of Light. "You look more like you look like in the World of Light. Older isn't quite right, but that's what comes to mind. I didn't touch you when I came in because it looked like you might be there, in the World of Light."

"I wasn't, but I ...suppose? it makes sense..." Noriko sighs and moves to sit on the bed, one leg dangling over the edge so we can talk face to face. She seems to be sad. That doesn't help me either.

"I asked the World of Light to promise me that if we really were going to be rewarded for our efforts from the time it brought me here, that it wasn't going to suddenly send me back, like it brought me here." I sit up in surprise and shock. She has voiced my deepest fear and I struggle to keep it down so she can finish.

"As soon as I really asked, demanded, threatened, and begged, Rottenina called for me to come look." She glances towards the window. "The double rainbow was its answer."

I slump in relief, then put my hand to my head. This is becoming more than I can handle, the stress and emotions of this wedding. "You are really difficult, you know that? ...I asked, when we landed at the foot of the cliff, why I was doing this, why I was keeping you alive, particularly when it wasn't easy." I drop my hand to glare at her slightly. "Even at the river I couldn't walk away, and that was very difficult." She understands how difficult that was for me.

"When that was over ...and you were finally sleeping and recovering... I looked at you," I look away, holding the ankle of the leg resting on the bed with one hand tightly for the courage to say what I want to say to her, "and I was so relieved you were.

"I didn't understand yet even then why, but for a reason I couldn't say at the time, I did say to whatever it was that brought us together, that if I was going to go through all this work and effort, and it wasn't going to let me kill you so I could be free of the future that I didn't want, for all that you kept trying to die, that it had better give me something in the end worth all the effort."

I take in a breath looking only at my hand, trying to not let my emotions overwhelm me in the telling. "For some reason, the words of the doctor in Calco came to my mind. He told me, 'Noriko has done this so that she can stay alive. She wants to live.'

"When I thought that thought, I thought back to everything else you'd done, and I realized I'd not thought right. You weren't trying to die, even if by accident. In everything you did, you tried to live. You didn't want to walk out onto the cliff path because you wanted to live. Because I pulled you out onto it, your life was endangered and I had to save you so you could live.

"That's why, when you answered my question that if you were free but couldn't go home you would die, I couldn't believe it." That memory is painful today. Today I'm afraid to lose her to a thing I know I can't control and can't influence. I try to breathe so the rock in my stomach doesn't hurt so much.

"It made sense if I thought about it from the viewpoint that without me to protect you, you would die most likely, although you would have kept fighting to live, I think. But that isn't what you meant, and I could tell that."

I need to see her again. Her eyes are sober, her attention on my words. "It made me angry that you would work so hard to live, but if we were set free you would give up. It made me feel trapped and I tested you. Even then you wanted to live and kept running.

"When I said I wanted you to live, I meant it. Somehow, your determination to live had given me some courage I hadn't known I needed. It had never taken much for me to live, having the physical strength I did, but you had nothing of strength except of will, and yet you fought desperately to live anyway.

"To hear in your voice that you would give up meant that somehow I would have given up, too. I couldn't bear it. When I caught you, and you didn't struggle or run again, you just stayed with me, even though you cried, I realized...you were what I wanted. If the thing that was making us come together was going to give me something worth it all in the end, I wanted it to be you - a strong, willful, living you."

I drop my eyes, still guilty for making that first mistake. "I still didn't want to be the Sky Demon of destruction. I still thought it was better to not be with you for your sake and mine, since I didn't want to hurt you, but I meant it, and from then on, too." I remember yesterday's conversation and look at her again. "I guess you saw that determination when you saw what you call the dragon - that you were going to be mine if all this was going to happen against my will regardless."

My eyes seek the double rainbow - gone now because they are fleeting things - wanting the promise she was looking for. "Do you remember that morning, after we left Selina, Guzena, when you woke me up to see the rainbow?" She remembers. She'd almost not called me to come see it, worried that I needed sleep more. I only saw it as it was fading away, but it had still been beautiful, because it had been beautiful in her eyes.

"I'd spent the whole night I'd been awake worrying about our future. I'd committed to you, and you'd committed to me, and I still wasn't sure but that I was going to become destruction and destroy you, too. I'd finally gone to bed asking. ...Asking for some sign that it was going to be okay. It wasn't until the rainbow at the Flower Festival, though, when you told me it was a sign from the World of Light that I realized that the first rainbow was my answer to that sleepless night."

I wave my hand at the window. "When I burst out of the room below and saw the rainbow, doubled, I was stunned. I knew it was somehow related to your worry and fear, and your relief...and my promise and my desires, because there were two of them." I'm desperately hoping I've understood rightly.

"If it's the answer to the promise, that you will be mine and I will be yours and we won't be taken from each other, then I'm glad." I reach for her hand and hold her fingertips in mine so we are barely touching, but needing to know she is here with me. Softly I admit, "I also have been worrying about the same thing."

Noriko pulls my hand closer to her, needing more touch than that to be comforted, although she only lightly rubs the backs of my fingers with her thumb. She takes her time to put her words together. I'll have to wait for her own words to be said.

She's teaching herself as she teaches me, perhaps. And like I needed to say my words to her, she likely also needs to say her words to me. To fear we'll be separated as violently as we were brought together is to want to say everything that needs to be said while it can be.

Ready to say them, she looks at me. "They've brought the wedding dress. That's what set off my worries. Between doing the practices and seeing that, I got overwhelmed again, but this time from the things inside me." She looks away. The wedding ceremony practice also caused me disquiet, bringing my worries to the front.

"I'm sorry. I would never have thought a happy thing like getting married would make a mess of my emotions like this." I take her whole hand in mine. I understand. Even for my own, which I know are my own and not hers, it's this way.

Trying to understand more, she finally sighs. "You said I look different. I'm not sure why there would be a difference like that, but I was thinking of one other thing, and maybe it's what made the difference. ...At least, it's the only thing I can think of that would do it." She's uncomfortable.

"You know I've told you I use acting to find the strength to move forward, or as a protection from the confusion of this world." I remember. That still worries me. "Even using those crutches, I've always tried to be true to myself, to be honest and do my best, but in one thing I have never been honest, with myself and this world."

She tightens her grip on my hand just a little more to draw more courage. It's hard for her to say it, but I'm relieved when she does. If she knows it, she can try to be even stronger. "I - have never believed, or tried to understand maybe, that I am really the creature or being called the Awakening. The closest I've ever come is to playing like I'm the Fairy Queen.

"Even that I've never really believed, although I understand that the things that surround it are true. I am your treasure, I am important to this world for some reason, I needed to keep myself safe and hidden. But really...being it -"

She forces herself to have the courage to look me in the eyes. "The wedding dress, in my eyes, is only fit to be worn by the true Fairy Queen. This wedding and all the effort going into it. It's all making me open those eyes, making me understand that if I'm really going to marry you, I'm really going to be the Awakening - and that I was the Awakening from the beginning."

She shrugs self-consciously. "It is a fine distinction, and perhaps not relevant for anyone but me, but ...when I was worrying and thinking before the rainbows, I understood that if the World of Light was going to let me stay, and I was going to marry you, I would need to accept that truth, and live it as truth," she gives me a wry grin, "even though I have no idea what that means. I don't know what this world sees the Awakening as, or should do, or be.

"Being given a lavish wedding and the most beautiful wedding dress possible makes me think this world sees me as more than even a princess or queen, and if that's what it thinks, I'll do that to the best of my ability, but really, it's just me, doing the little I know how to do each day. I don't think I'm worth all that. I'm happy just being loved by you and seeing you happy and content within your own skin."

I'm happy hearing that like the Noriko she is, she won't be changed by having to face what she is to this world. I can only try to teach her what little I know. "I grew up hearing what I would become, and fearing it, not wanting it to be true, and fighting it. You taught me that was the right thing to be doing and that I could choose for myself what the meaning of 'Sky Demon' was.

"The world still views it as something grand, I suppose, but it's what I want it to be - Izark who cares for people and loves Noriko, and does the small, or not so small things I can do each day.

"To me, the Awakening is a girl who loves me and taught me those things and does her best each day, too. That is enough if it's enough for her - for you." I wish for her to understand what I want for her to understand, regardless of what the world will tell her if she asks. "The wedding is being put together by our friends and will be watched by the world, and I suppose they'll see what they want to see, but that doesn't mean that it will define us."

I tip my head to really look at all of her, trying to picture the wedding dress on her. "You told me that to pretend to be those things can be fun, and being the pirate king was fun after that. I think that if the wedding dress is made for the Fairy Queen, or the grand creature expected by the world they call the Awakening, then it's okay for you to have fun wearing it and being that once if you want. I think you would have a lot of fun doing that, actually." She does love the formal clothing of this planet and that makes her fun to watch, too.

"But that doesn't mean you have to be that forever. That isn't who I know, after all. ...I know the Noriko-Awakening that weeps over everything, needs protection to live, is afraid all the time -" I'm teasing her to keep her level headed, to let her know I don't want a changed Noriko.

She attacks me to prevent me from finishing the tease, pushing me to the bed. "That's enough of that," she says firmly, the scold on her face. I laugh, having received a reaction that relieves me. I hold her above me so I can keep seeing her face. Her small waist fits snugly in my hands and I'm glad for a moment to play in the middle of the stress of the day.

"Actually, they've brought my clothes as well," I let her know.

"Oh?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yes, and they are also fit for the Fairy King, or the grand creature they imagine is the Sky Demon." I also was unsure about wearing them when I saw them, but at the same time quite pleased. I also have very little reason to dress up (at least for my own pleasure).

Noriko's eyes narrow at me. "Hmm...I seem to remember you saying you'd been waiting to be the Fairy King."

"Yes, I was - because I wanted to be able to stand by the Fairy Queen who is very strong willed and her eyes tell the world that it must obey her, but who is still willing to be my treasure and obey me - someone who has to work hard to be worthy of that gift. When you called me that for the first time, I wondered if I had really earned it yet...but I believe I have now." These are words I do believe, and even more as I say them.

Soberly I request, "I would actually really like it, Noriko, if you would be willing to really be the Fairy Queen and say that I am really the Fairy King, if I've earned it. Even if it is only once, and when the rest of the world will be seeing the Awakening and the Sky Demon."

Noriko considers my request. "Well ...it would be fun ...and I do really, ...really want to wear that dress, and properly. But," she looks at me firmly, "it has to be Izark that says 'I do' and Noriko, too, since that's who's really getting married." I promise it and she takes one more deep breath to put her wild emotions that drew me to rest. "Okay. If you will be the Fairy King, I will have the courage to be the Fairy Queen. Be aware I follow your lead a lot when I'm in that role though."

My eyes go wide. "Oh, no. Noriko, I follow yours."

She stares at me, then collapses laughing. "May-maybe we," the laughs overwhelm her again until she can recover, "we should practice?"

I'm a bit concerned about her mental state, to laugh about something she cried about before, but I'm sure underneath her control on her emotions, she's having just as many difficulties as I am. I hope we can get through this in one piece without the world thinking we've gone mad. I try to bring her back to practicality. "I think we should talk with Duke Jeida and Duchess Niana and make sure we understand well enough at least."

She's willing to accept that suggestion. "Okay. I like that idea. I really think it might be bad if we're both making it up and we end up doing something very wrong. ...Although it might be forgiven of the Awakening and Sky Demon, since no one knows really anything about them and everyone is making them up."

"I don't think it would be a good idea to set a bad precedent because we made a mistake," I agree.

I hold her down and make her get rid of as many wild emotions as possible before we leave the room. She needs to be calm to face people and I need to release my own doubts and fears that have been piling up...or I'm going to steal my treasure away and run, and the city can sit and be sad we didn't stay for the formalities.

-o-o-o-

I didn't run. Noriko held me down all night and the men held me down today, making sure I was bathed, dressed, and I'm in place where I belong. I'm sure I've been wooden the whole time. I don't like having eyes on me generally. I really don't want the eyes of the world on me.

I want to stay hidden. I would go hide behind Noriko's skirts, the young boy wanting the escape, but she's standing on the other side of the sitting crowd of attendees from where I am on the stand waiting for her arrival.

She's beautiful in the dress that is fit for more than a queen. It's form fitting until the skirt which flares out to the floor. The embroidery on it covers almost everything and I know now how to tell it was extremely well done.

How the seamstress made it to the celebration I don't know but I'm sure she hasn't slept since the order for the dress was made. Perhaps three or four worked on it at once. It looks like it, anyway. The embroidery makes the dress stand out stiffly and Noriko is standing upright and poised almost more from that than from our practices.

My jacket is almost the same, although they didn't bother with embroidery on the pants. I'm relieved. I'm also surprised the jacket is short, flaring just a little over my hips where it ends, when they know I like long, but I'm not going to complain at all. It matches what Noriko's wearing better anyway.

I'm going without a bandanna this time. They told me I couldn't look like I was going to work, even if I did want to wear the one Noriko made me. She said it was okay. She's grateful I appreciate it by wearing it every other day.

Agol is smart next to Noriko in his formal suit. They're talking quietly while we wait for the officiators - who are waiting for the guests to finish settling down. Suddenly there is another person with Noriko, on her other side. My eyes widen as I take in who it is. Doctor Clairgeeta bows to me and I return it very slightly, not wanting to draw attention to myself in this busy place where eyes are on me.

"_You invited him?_" I ask Noriko. To have suddenly appeared, Doctor Clairgeeta is joining us in spirit through the World of Light.

She indicates I've understood. "_Geena told me just now that when seers look for the Awakening and the Sky Demon they only see light,_" I'm suddenly so relaxed in relief I can feel her smile in understanding, "_and I wanted him with me, too, so I asked him to come. He kindly agreed_."

There's movement behind me and I turn slightly to be respectful of Mayor Mardwoog and Duke Jeida. They will both be officiating the wedding together at Noriko's request. I'm glad to have Duke Jeida here with me. His words and his voice are always calming. Having the men with me is also a help, but they're nailing my feet down so I don't flee. That's different.

As the officiators arrive in their positions, I lead my men to stand to their left and with a deep breath first, open my mouth to make my request. "I, Izark kia Tarj, have come to be married to my fiancée, Noriko Taichiki." A thrill runs down my back and I shiver slightly. It's as if the World of Light stands with them, judging me to see if I'm worthy to ask such a request.

"Let the bride be brought," Mayor Mardwoog calls.

As poised as the Fairy Queen, Noriko walks down the aisle-way towards the steps leading up onto the stand where her ladies have walked up to stand to either side to guide her way. She follows Geena who is lightly throwing flower petals on the pathway to give her a sweet scent as she walks, and Agol escorts her. They're traditions of her world, but they're nice additions for this special wedding of the age. Murmurs of approval are going through the attendees.

Noriko's eyes look with gratitude at each of the ladies as she passes them, and then they are on mine, briefly, then moving on to the men behind me. She wants to remember this scene before she can't see it for standing with her back to it.

I also am grateful for these our friends, Gaya who has been with me from early on, and all of them. When Noriko has reached the top step the other ladies come up after her to stand to the officiators' right side. When her eyes return to mine she smiles brightly and then she looks away. Last time she did that she was sad.

"_I'll explode._" She explains briefly. I silently chuckle at her, but while it would be funny, here at this time it wouldn't be at all, even if the world _isn't_ watching.

I can't say how relieved I am that they aren't. This is suddenly a much better event than it was. I won't have to be worried about people seeing us while we're traveling and trying to either kill us, or challenging me, or wanting all sorts of things I don't want to give them, including her. I'm much more able to appreciate the words said by Mayor Mardwoog and Duke Jeida as Noriko and I stand hand in hand in front of them.

We make our vows to each other before these our friends and hosts, and I can feel the World of Light making our connection something unbreakable. This time I'll say it's her fault, whatever the outcome is of having done that. If it means she lives forever with me I wouldn't be unhappy, but I expect I daydream to wish that.

As Duke Jeida speaks, she lifts her free hand to wipe at her eyes. I press her fingers to encourage her. I think this part will be hard for her. Here is the only family I know. She's missing some of hers who cannot come. We all wish for all of our family to share our joys with us, particularly one like a wedding which she likely expected her family to be able to participate in.

Eventually, it's too much for her and she flees into the World of Light with Doctor Clairgeeta to comfort her. I can see them there, even though Noriko hasn't moved outside. Tears are dripping from her eyes and it might get worse. I carefully leave most of me in the physical realm so I'm not suddenly disappearing from the stand.

"_Noriko_," I gently let her know as I wipe her cheeks for her, "_pull it back just a little. You're crying here also, although it's just silent tears._" She gathers her sorrow a little closer to her there in the World of Light and I let her know the tears have stopped.

"_Where is your world?_" Doctor Clairgeeta asks Noriko. I pay attention and look towards where she indicates they are.

"_I'll anchor you,_" Doctor Clairgeeta says. "_You'll return there and leave us if you go by yourself. I take it you don't want that since you're in the middle of a wedding._" His humor is gentle, but I'm not sure what he's offering Noriko.

"_No. I want to stay,_" she reassures him.

"_Stay with me, but reach with your feelings and thoughts to talk to them. Let them know you're happy and today is your wedding day. They might not understand it, but they'll be brought to think of you and feel your happiness with you._" Ah. I understand. Those can pass through the space of the World of Light to reach them. I return to paying more attention to the ceremony while she talks to her family as best she can.

When the officiators are done with their words, I return for Noriko. I won't let her apologize for the interruption. "_I'm glad you could see and talk to your family, Noriko. What more appropriate time that at your own wedding?_"

As we walk to return her to her body, she asks, "_Izark, when we retrieve my journal, can we take it and send it back, so they don't have to be sad anymore? So they can know that I'm safe and we're happy?_

"_My dad is a writer. He can publish it and both worlds will know our story. My world might believe it's [fiction], lore and story, but it might also help anyone who reads it to try to reach the light, too._"

"_I think that would be a very good thing to do. I'd like them to know I'm taking care of you as best I can, and that you're doing your best to be happy and helpful, too._" My words make her happy and feel comforted. I'm pleased.

When Noriko's ready, I'm waiting. Truly, I love this woman who will give up her home and her family to stay by my side. I kiss her gently and envelope her in my love. Her own love and gratitude for me fill her, then spill out and around us until they envelop all of the people around us and fill the bowl of the city. This is a thing only she can do. It's how she uses her power of the World of Light.

Gaya gasps lightly and whispers, "Oh! It feels like when Irktule cleansed the forest. It was bright like this, too."

Zena answers her softly as well. "Noriko has brought the World of Light to us. I saw it."

"Mm," agrees Geena. Noriko lets it stay a little longer, then gently releases it, the warm energy of light and love settling into and around the city, the same as had been done a long time ago when this city earned it's nickname as the City of Light. It's her way to repay the city for the help it's been to us.

Our lips part and I rest my forehead on hers as all of my tender emotions well up in me, brought to the surface by her own. A few tears drip from my face to hers. Noriko sends a gentle emotional hand to calm them enough so I don't become overwhelmed.

When my emotions are settled again, I slowly increase my power. The wind that's always a part of it swirls around us, although I keep it gentle. It lifts my hair and fluffs Noriko's. All of our friends have stepped back so that they aren't caught up in the center of it like we are.

Just for her, I make my hair turn blue, then my eyes. I sweep her up, careful to hold her skirts tightly around her legs so my wind doesn't blow them unseemly. My wings of light unfurl and those who can see the things of the light gasp and murmur in wonder.

Keeping my power directed upwards so that it doesn't destroy the stand and our guests, I push off the stand with my legs until we're high enough I can use a sweep of my wings to put us high into the air over the city.

Noriko is greatly enjoying our flight. "I thought you'd be more afraid, after the fall from the cliff," I comment. Even though I'm focused on my task, I've been wanting to know this, too - why she isn't afraid to jump from high places since then.

"No. It's more like the times I jump. I know I'm in your arms and safe. I didn't understand that the first time."

I pause, holding the wind and water energies where they are, swirling around in the air above and around us. _It's just enough to know that in my arms she's safe?_ "You were so distressed, though. Did you really learn to trust me that much just from that?"

She nods. "I trusted you before, but as a swordsman. When you defied [gravity] and the natural laws I understood, then there was no reason to fear them any more." She looks away a little embarrassed. "Actually, as we were flying over the spiky rocks and towards the treetops...I wanted then to keep flying with you."

She blushes a little more, "And when I was running to you in Selena, Guzena, in the palace, and you had your other wings for the first time, I wished ...although I knew you wouldn't want them again ...that I could do this with you."

Well, she is right about those wings. I only get them when I'm almost lost to the Sky Demon. I'd much rather have these wings. But to have her wish to fly with me, and to trust me so much as to have it overwhelm her terror of heights... I go back to work to keep the blush of pleasure down.

The clouds I'm creating are gathering around us. It's difficult because water energy is so small here in the desert, but I can call for it here above the city. They bring it up from the river below and it rises slowly from the fields that are watered by it. I hold us here until I'm sure there's enough water in them, then we drop below them and I bring them down with us.

The closer we get to the city, the more water energy I can call on, bringing it up from the wells. When the clouds are heavy enough, and low enough over the city, I command the energy of the water and it begins to rain over Ennemarna. It's a very rare occurrence for them, and thus my gift to them.

As the rain falls gently past us, Noriko pulls up the power of the light again and rainbows scatter all over the bowl of Ennemarna, dazzling the citizens of the city. Their cries of appreciation rise up and a cheer goes up as I gently settle us both back to the center of the stand.


	42. Farewell

The wedding feast was a blur. I finally had to find Noriko and rescue us from it. She loved her ring, a tradition from her world, and a thing to have close by her when I have to travel and she stays home to study.

I was honored she'd thought hard enough to give me something that I couldn't destroy, although I hope to never transform again in such painful ways. The belt is embossed with birds with small blue stones for eyes. I think she would rather have given me one with dragons but she said she had to take the closest thing she could find this time. I like to wear it with the blue jacket and bandanna she made for me. Then I can proudly feel like we're husband and wife as I walk about.

As we walked from the top of the city wall back to our room, we talked about what we would do now that the wedding was done. Because she'd asked if we could fetch our things from the flower town and then send her writings to her family, I suggested we could rent one of the flying creatures of our world that carry people. That excited her. I thought it might, now that she doesn't fear heights. That was a better option than having me carry her the whole way.

Using those creatures also means we can do the few things we wanted to do faster. We'll need to meet back up with our friends to help them however we can. I've sent most of my gold on with Barago and Agol, who are going by wagon with Gaya and Zena to help them get started in Guzena with the ministers there. Duke Jeida and his family are going to Zago. We'll scry before we go to either to see which one we need to go to first, once our tasks are done.

When Noriko talked about what she wants to do after that, I wasn't at all surprised to hear she wants to teach her world's knowledge to this one. I was surprised that she admitted she doesn't have the knowledge for most of what she'll teach. What she wants to teach are the basic thoughts and ideas. She'll let the researchers of this world figure out how or even if they'll make them work in this one.

While we've been gifted with each other, and the double rainbow promise, and I suppose the additional bonding, I still have some slight concern I'll lose her. As she was collecting her gift from the dresser in our room, I almost lost her again to her sorrow.

I'd asked her how she'd learned to throw - we'd been talking about Calco and I'd remembered I'd wanted to know. She told me she and her brother had thrown a ball together every week as their time to just be siblings together. Because she'd remembered him, like the time I'd asked about her mother, she began to disappear.

I had her in my arms quickly and held her tightly, begging her not to leave me. She was confused and I told her this time. She's promised not to miss them so much. She said sending her records to her family will help. Then they won't miss her so much either. There's the possibility that because they miss her, when she misses them she's pulled back to them. I will hope so.

She's carefully standing far back from the golden moss, not wanting to be sent with the books and my letter to her family. Before we could send the books, she had to catch them up to the time she had paper and pen again. Then she had me write them in this world's language as she read and translated her work. All of that took longer than I'd planned, but if this works it's well worth it.

Carefully intending only the books to go, I instruct the chimo to send them from 'here' to 'there', the 'there' Noriko's holding open for me in the World of Light. I can send them because I exist in the World of Light and have access to its infinite power and energy so that they'll go. And go they do. We see them arrive on the desk in her room. It's an odd world compared to mine, indeed.

I make sure I end the movement request through those kinds of distances before I leave the gold moss to return to Noriko. I hold her tightly to reassure us both she's still here, then we move off to rejoin our flying transportation. It's time to return to the work of bringing peace to my world.

I was also right in one other thing. She had sold to and written up a contract with someone whom she's going to use to create her other world creations to sell. She came out of Calco with her own earned gold. I'm very proud of her, actually, that even from the beginning she was thinking of how to take care of herself.

She admitted she'd told me early, while we were still in the cave and couldn't understand each other, that if I would only get her to a village she would be fine with being left. She wouldn't have been once we were there, and neither would I, but that's because of the connection the World of Light gave us. Without that, she would have been fine without me eventually, as long as she had some sort of bodyguard along. I'm just as happy to be that bodyguard, however.

"Izark, it's okay. I'm feeling better now that I know they'll be able to know I'm alive. We can go check on them in a day or two and then I'll know they're happy for us. Even if they're sad they can't see me, that will be enough for all of us, I think. I won't leave." Noriko is earnest, and I realize I'm holding her hand a little too tightly.

I try to relax, then lean down and rest my forehead on her head. I can't quite get rid of the worry, but since we can at least see if having them know she's okay helps them, I can sigh and set it aside for now. I kiss her and request, "Please don't. I might be able to live without you, but it would be a very lonely life ...quiet ...but lonely."

Noriko gives a snort. "Yeah, mine would be too. Quiet and lonely. All this adventuring doesn't happen in my world, unless I decide to do something like climb Mount Everest - not likely - or become a world traveler. That's not really as easy there as here, for all there are trains and buses and airplanes. Those things just make it more expensive to travel, and I don't have an income there as a student. I'd go stir-crazy, I think."

She puts her arms around my neck and kisses me. "And I'd miss you something awful," she says quietly. "I really couldn't survive there anymore, I think ...not unless you came with me."

I hold my most precious treasure tightly to me and for a moment the emotions of the two dragons who claim each other as treasures swirl around us, taking our breath away.

I have the winged dinosaur stop at the top of the mountain in the little pass where we exited the cave system under the mountain so we can finish what that started. We decide to name that cave our dragon cave - our secret no one will ever find.

-o-o-o-

When the reinstatement of the western continent governments was completed satisfactorily, we took Agol, Geena, and Barago with us to the city of the university on that side of the middle sea. After about a week of hunting, Noriko and I settled on a home we could agree on. It was larger than either of us would have purchased, but Agol kept us practical. He knows us by now.

It's large enough for guests to stay with us, and to host large parties. That's more room than I think we need, but I had to admit that if Noriko is able to meet her goals it may end up too small, and I'd rather just have the one house to come home to.

I blush every time I think of it like that, not having a place to call my own for so long. Noriko is my home so I'm coming around to thinking in terms of settling down, like Kizak teased me I'd have to learn eventually.

Once we had our home purchased and furnished minimally enough Barago and Agol could live their sufficiently, Noriko turned to meeting the people at the university and getting to know those who might be able to help her. They still need to rebuild some, but she got a few things started before we came to the eastern continent.

While I work with Doctor Clairgeeta and others to get the countries on this side of the middle sea stable, she's only to be found in the Department of Chemistry unless I pry her out. It makes me smile, but I insist. I also need my Noriko time, and she wouldn't be happy to learn she had missed all of her time with Doctor Clairgeeta.

They spend many happy hours discussing the theories of the World of Light. Doctor Clairgeeta in particular loves to ask her detailed research questions and have her answer them, already at his level of understanding although he has the years of experience to answer her own questions.

I don't mind those conversations. Because I walk there, I get pulled into them as well, asking my own questions and answering for the slight details that are different for me than for them.

It's nice to have the quiet environment of the university and Doctor Clairgeeta's home to call our home here. He's been very welcoming, and his staff say we aren't a bother, calming Noriko's worries.

She's not used to servants. The ones here are training her nicely for when we return home. I don't think she'll ever think of Agol, Geena, and Barago as anything other than friends, but perhaps she'll be more open to ordering them around (asking politely for things since that's her way).

-o-o-o-

I've returned to the east continent for a brief visit. The governments have changed hands, in some countries multiple times, but all of them are doing well enough. Men are still good and bad, but most are still trying their best. It's the best we can hope for, I suppose.

Noriko asked me to check on the Department of Chemistry, to bring her word of if they're still thriving. They are. Her push and her small efforts, and the efforts of her students and their students, have created an environment where the love of research and learning is passed on from student to student, who becomes the next teacher to pass it on. She'll be pleased with my report, I think.

The university as a whole has expanded and remembers her with a memorial. I won't tell her that, unless I need to see her blush. She'll be terribly embarrassed to be praised so highly, even now that she's old enough to know that others like to remember those who've made a great difference to the world. She still doesn't see herself in that sort of role, for all she's been in it since she arrived here in the Sea of Trees, and tried to place herself there on our wedding day.

I long for those days. How I miss them, and all of our friends. It's been terribly difficult for me to see their passing away as the years have passed. They're all gone now. Even her brother has passed on. She's lived a very long and fulfilling life, and she's content. I've grown very discontent, but not with her. She still holds my heart tenderly. I'm discontent with me, and perhaps some with the World of Light.

When I return from this trip back to our home on the west continent, it will be to not leave it again for some time, if ever. She's dying and I won't leave her side after this. It grieves me so, to know that I can't die and go with her. Like I was so afraid to lose her after I turned into the full Sky Demon the first time, or the nearly-full since there was another level I was saved from ever having to experience, I'm again afraid to lose her and her comfort.

Will I stay the creature of Light I've become? Likely I will, so I sigh at myself when that fear rises. I've been that for so many years now it's not likely to change. It's just the old fear coming to tease me.

I know I can still go see them all, and sometimes I'll visit with Dr. Clairgeeta and Duke Jeida, or Barago will come just to tease me because he can. But, I can't walk there constantly. I've tried, experimenting with it as Noriko fails. The World of Light itself gently expels me with compassion and gentleness, but firm that I have work to be doing and running from my fears and grief does not get me a pass into the world of those who've worked hard properly. I also must live out what life I've been given.

At times that will make me angry, and then I'll rant and plead with the World of Light, like I did on several occasions before, and Noriko did. We were answered those times, and I would ask if we could be answered this time as well. ...I know that Noriko always wanted to go home one more time to see her family. She missed them so and still does.

I've finally humbly asked that if it's at all possible, that she be allowed that opportunity and that I be allowed to go with her to live a life where I may die with her, happy and content because she was finally properly rewarded for the terrible pain of being torn away from the life she knew.

The World of Light may have warned her it was going to happen, and remembering her stories of her dreams may have brought comfort to her family after she was gone, but the World of Light still never asked, never gave her the choice. If she could receive that payment, and I could go with her, I would be supremely grateful.

When I sorrow, I don't hold much hope for it. We're often not asked what we want. We're born into a family of nobles and thus must be a noble. The life of our parents is taken and we must learn to walk forward an orphan. Life isn't really like my wish. Plus, I don't know if we can walk through time in that way. It may be an impossibility, "science fiction" as Noriko would say - the sort of thing her father would have written about.

There's also the fact that they are all already in the World of Light. She'll be able to greet them and get her hugs when she does finally pass from this life. There's likely no real reason to send her back in time when what she wants will be waiting for her to receive immediately. Such things are logical and rational...and bring tears to my eyes. None of them comfort me. I would rather have the unreasonable request answered.

My eyes continually scan the sky for rainbows. So far I've seen none, at least in answer to my pleas. I'm trying to be humble, and I'm trying to come to terms with it, as I have been for the last ten years as Noriko has slowed down, then been unable to do more than rise from her bed to sit and chat pleasantly with guests who come to visit, or to keep me company.

She also grieves that she'll leave me behind with no family nor close friends by my side. She did what she could; the world has given us what we have. To have had her is greater than I could have hoped for. I will miss her just as greatly.

I've put the final few writings Noriko wanted to add with her journal that's here in Dr. Clarigeeta's collection. I'll leave this journal here with the other works of the time we were the central figures of.

If it's never read, that's fine with me. It was mostly my meanderings, a place to put my worries outside myself, and a way to remember those things that became most important to me and my walk into the light so that I could ponder on them again and again as I tried to convince myself that to step onto the path of hope and walk hand in hand with Noriko was more than a dream or vain hope. It was terribly difficult to unlearn my fear and despair learned in the early years.

I'm grateful for the final result, and for my Noriko who taught me how to reach it and then has stayed with me so long. I'll continue to hope for myself after she goes. I'll likely stay as long with her in the World of Light as it allows me to, until she has encouraged me enough to have the strength to return to my duties properly. (The seers still only see bright light when they look for me. It's dull, really, and sometimes frustrating, to not get to know things others can know if they ask. It is terribly difficult to live a predestined life and not know the ending.)

I'll close these writing by saying, "Farewell." I will hope to never come back again. It's highly likely that if she dies and I remain on this planet, I won't return regardless. This place she loved so much will be too difficult for me to see her shadow in, and I never was a student or researcher, save for what I needed to know to walk the path I've already walked.


	43. Appendix: Historian's Note

I've included here at the end of Izark's own story three short vignettes I found in my transcribing of Dr. Clairgeeta's research notes.

The first one, _Courageous Hearts_, is published here exactly as I found it written in his notes. I've often wondered, as I pondered on all of the records I've found, if it's actually Miss Letia's own words, because it's told from her point of view.

Even in Noriko's words, Dr. Clarigeeta already knew how to access and walk in the World of Light before they met him. Is it possible that he went into the World of Light and asked to speak with Miss Letia and she told him her story of meeting the young Sky Demon?

It's a touching story, regardless, and I think all the world is at the very least grateful that she was willing to turn the child Izark towards the light from an early age. She indeed was a star for him from which he could get his first glimpse of the hope of the light, and thus be prepared to meet the Awakening.

The second one, _Izark's Song_, seems to be a written musing in poetic form by Izark himself, and was a loose page in the notebook. I suspect that Dr. Clairgeeta discovered it somehow not long after Izark wrote it and requested if he could have it.

I like to imagine that Izark was completely embarrassed to have it discovered and read by anyone else, but because of his friendship with his kind host allowed him to have it, perhaps extracting a promise that it not be shared with anyone else. (I will apologize for doing so very publicly, if that was the case.)

I also like to think that Dr. Clairgeeta asked for it because he privately wanted to have at least one thing in his personal library from the Sky Dragon himself. It was likely one of his crowning triumphs to own, since he never personally saw Izark's journal. I know it would have been mine.

The final story, _Sudden Partners_, I believe was written by Dr. Clairgeeta in his notes after an evening of story telling around the sitting room after dinner during the years they lived in the house with him. Likely Izark was feeling comfortable, perhaps even nostalgic, and his wife had pleaded for it. Dr. Clairgeeta would have added his own pleas, and perhaps in the face of both of them, Izark had chosen to tell this one as an entertainment for the evening.


	44. A1: Courageous Hearts

"Miss Letia, please, I really should stay," the servant was desperate.

Miss Letia was firm. "No, I really will be fine. I need to breathe. Go over the hill and wait. I promise, I won't leave the field, and will come." The servant shifted, then finally bowed and slowly, reluctantly, walked off and over the hill.

Miss Letia watched until he was gone, waited to make sure he wouldn't pop his head back over the hill, then sank to the ground. She closed her eyes, felt the wind, and smelled the perfume of the flowers in this field. It was her favorite place to come for solace.

She had lost the child three months before it was due to be born, and her husband's death had been one month later. She'd cried all she was going to cry, but she still found it very hard to breathe around her constricted heart. Having over-solicitous servants crowd her only exacerbated the sense of claustrophobia. Here in this field, she could breathe. That's all she wanted - air and space.

Running steps brought her back, made her open her eyes and turn her head. She was calm enough that she didn't go to frustration at her servant right away. She was glad she hadn't when she saw the small, black-haired child. She held still. He hadn't seen her yet. Sitting as she was, they were about the same height. She watched him, waiting.

The wind finally turned and his attention was caught. He turned suddenly to see her. She held still, keeping a mild expression on her face, looking at him as curiously as he was looking at her.

He looked left, then right, then all around. Not seeing anyone else, he cautiously crept up to her. She let him without making a sound. She felt a little like she was fishing - a past-time her father had been guilty of enjoying.

"Are you a flower spirit?" he asked her with quiet urgency when he was close enough to speak quietly and be heard.

Miss Letia tipped her head and smiled. "Would that make you happy?" she asked. He frowned a little. "Are you a child of the field?" she asked back.

He raised an eyebrow at her, then looked around the field. "Well, no." He was very sensible, this one, for having asked her that question. "And I don't suppose it matters to me one way or the other if you're a flower spirit, it's just hard to tell sometimes."

"Oh...I guess you can see them, then, the spirits?" she asked mildly, burning to know his age. He talked like he was a spirit - ageless even though his visage was young. He nodded soberly. "Well, if not a field spirit, then some other kind?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. ...Something else."

She reached out her hand and brushed the lock of hair hanging just to his shoulder, the straight black hair running through her fingers. "Night... of the night sky?" she asked. He stiffened. She smiled a sad smile. "It's okay. We can call me a fallen star, then. Have you come to keep me company, two of us fallen from the sky to walk the earth?"

He relaxed and looked at her puzzled. "It doesn't scare you?"

Miss Letia raised an eyebrow. "No. Not much scares me, least of all a child who has come running to _this_ field to escape, the same as I have."

His eyes got round. "_You're_ escaping, too?"

She nodded soberly. "I won't tell, if you don't, though." He looked at her soberly, like he wasn't sure he believed her, but maybe he wanted to. She kept her look open but honest. Finally he nodded. "Good," she said. "I'll get into lots of trouble otherwise."

He looked confused. "_You_ will?"

Miss Letia sighed and looked away from him, over towards the hill. "I can only get my guard to go to the other side of the hill where he can't see me and I can't see him. You'll want to stay down here, away from his sight."

The boy shrank back into himself a little. "Okay. I will."

Miss Letia wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him. "Will you come sit next to me?"

He looked at her suspiciously. "Will you eat my energy?"

She laughed. For the first time in months. "If only nourishment came so easily. Even for demons it comes from emotions, not personal energy. I am not a demon, and neither are you."

His eyes got dark and sad. She did capture his hand this time. "Izark. You are _not_ a demon." She held his hand tightly as he pulled to flee her. She wouldn't let him. "You've given yourself away to me, by reacting to that statement. Sit quietly. I am not afraid, nor will I go back on my promise to not tell.

"And I will say it again: you are _not_ a demon. You are a child who is being made to carry too much weight before your time. Sit here and escape with me. I will let you be just what you are, except lonely. When you are with me, you can't be lonely, because I'm here."

His frightened face was filled with confusion. "What do you want from me?"

She considered him for a moment, then answered, "A bouquet of flowers. There are many here. Bring me one of each kind. Don't forget the greenery. The fragrant leaves are important and part of the whole as well. Then I want you to sit with me for a time." She wanted to escape with him, and not be lonely as well, if only for a short time. "Will you promise, if I let your hand go?"

He was standing straight and stiff, as if he wasn't believing her, then he suddenly bowed a cute, child's honest bow. "I promise." She immediately let go of his hand. He blinked in surprise. Slowly, he turned away, then looked around at the field. She watched him as he began to walk the field, carefully picking a flower here, a green stem there, comparing what he already had to what there was before him.

A few things 'bit' him, as they had prickly stems and he had to learn to be cautious with them. It made her smile, his reactions, but even more the fact that he slowly became lost in the work until he was even finding the smaller flowers that grew low to the ground. He was very meticulous, but it wasn't because he was afraid of her anymore. Now it was because he was interested, curious. That was more like it. Children were supposed to be curious.

She relaxed and felt the wind, smelled the fragrance of the field. Occasionally his own scent came to her, tantalizing her. He smelled musty, dusty, and ... tangy, like hot iron that is cooling slowly on the anvil.

The wind, which had been fickle and a little high when he'd been nervous, was back to what it had been before, although at times, she could see it blow through the flowers from her to him. She decided he must be remembering her at those times. _Air and fire._ He would own those two, some day.

Finally Izark looked up, looked around to get his bearings, then came towards her. This time the wind blew from him to her and she smiled. His bouquet smelled lovely, even with the herbs that weren't so pleasant to smell mixed in. He arrived in front of her, bowed, and handed her the bouquet.

She gracefully took it. "Thank you, Izark. I don't think I've ever been so kindly and with such great manners handed such a beautiful bouquet before. I'm grateful for your efforts to collect it for me." She bowed her head to him. "Please, sit with me now. I'm sure your feet would like to rest from your hunting."

Izark shifted on his feet slightly, then knelt in front of her, his hands in fists on his knees. She looked down at the bouquet, then lifted a large, beautiful white flower, with pale yellow at the interior and pale pink at the tips.

"This is the lilly, Izark. The flower bud is edible fried, the flower itself is edible raw, and appreciated best with other greens. It has a hint of sweetness to it, and of course, tastes floral. The roots of older, strong plants, can be harvested and baked to be eaten, or dried and powdered for a flour, in emergencies. Baked is much better, really." She put it in his lap.

Izark picked it up, looked at it closely, smelled it, then put it back down in his lap. "I didn't know flowers had uses." Interest lit his eyes a little.

Miss Letia nodded. "All things growing have uses. Sit with me. I will teach you."

They sat for over an hour with her going through every plant he'd brought her, flower or green. Most had medicinal uses, a few others were food-stuff, some were only good for perfume. She was careful to explain the poisonous ones, and what they were most poisonous to, since some were more poisonous to the creatures men used, rather than to men.

When they were done, the bouquet was back in Izark's lap. "Take the bouquet home, Izark. Dry the plants, and write down what I taught you, keeping the plant with the page of explanations. You can memorize it better if you try to remember it again by writing it, even if you've forgotten parts."

He looked up at her. "Can I bring it back and have you correct it?"

"Won't your own tutors be able to do that?" she asked him, arching a brow.

He looked embarrassed. She tipped her head and waited. "Well...," he looked down, "I'd rather you did it, if I could meet you again?"

She smiled at him gently. "I would like that Izark...but if I'm a fallen star, I don't know when I'll have to go back." He looked so disappointed. "I'll try, Izark. I do always come here when I need to run away and breathe, but they don't often let me come. At the very least, if you keep coming back when you can, you can remember that here, you don't have to be lonely.

"If I've had to return, I'll keep you company from above, and the flowers will keep you company here below. If I'm still here and we happen to meet again, then you and I can keep each other company, like we have today." She held out her hand to him, and this time he took it himself.

When they were looking eye to eye again, she smiled. "That is the best I can promise, Izark, I'm sorry. But I will always remember you, the boy who was able to be curious and explore, and for a few hours, just be a child."

She rose to her feet. "I've been long enough. If I don't go now, my guard will break _his_ promise and come looking for me. That would make me break _my_ promise." Izark stood with her.

She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Be well, Izark. Experiment here in the field with your fire and your air. They will aid you immensely in your years ahead. Don't be afraid of them, or they will destroy you.

"Start small - all things start small, even you, even me. Some day, you will do big things, and they will be wonderful and marvelous things. You have a kind, honest heart. The things you do will be kind and honest as well." She looked at him in the eyes with kindness and love. "Of this, I have no doubt."

She turned to go and he held on to her hand, pulling her back slightly. She turned and looked into his eyes. He looked surprised he'd done it, then blushed. "Ah...thank you. Thank you for teaching me and for your kind words. ...Will you tell me your name?"

She gently released her hand from his, then lightly stroked his cheek. "You could name me?" He paused, then shook his head. She sighed, taking her hand back. "Very well. I will tell you, but I am as afraid to have you know it as you were to have me know yours."

Izark paused and swallowed hard, then gave her a very earnest look. "I won't be. I won't be afraid."

"Good," she said with an encouraging smile. "Kind, honest, and courageous. With those three you will go very far indeed. Izark kia Tarj...I am Miss Letia kia Haag. It has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance today." She gave the boy a little bow, then turned and walked away, up the hill, moving slowly, for that was the only speed she had, hobbled as she was by her restraints.

She was half-way up the hill when the wind came her way again. She waited and was indeed rewarded in a surprising way as small arms were thrown around her. She turned partially, enough to touch Izark gently on the head, then caress it. She carefully pried him off, then pulled him around to stand in front of her. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

She knelt down in front of him and took him in an embrace. He held very still, then suddenly flung his arms around her neck and held on very tightly. She could feel him begin to shake and she let him silently cry on her shoulder.

"Why?" he finally managed to ask.

She pondered the question. "Izark, sometimes...we are given things to do, and we must see them to the end, even if the people around us don't understand. We can't choose their lives for them. We can only choose our own - what we will do, how we will behave. If we let them decide for us, we lose who we are.

"I know who I am. Learn who you are. Be the best Izark there is, for there is only one. I will watch you from above. I look forward to seeing your heart blossom into the kind, honest, and courageous flower that it is."

"But...but you are, too!" he cried.

She pulled back and looked at him. "Yes, I am. Have you seen it, too?" He nodded, wiping at his face. "Well, that's good, then. There is at least one who has been willing to try to see the 'me' I see. I won't be sad, now."

She put her hand on his head, then rose again. "Please, try not to be too sad, too. Where I will go next is happier for me than here is. There are people I love and who love me where I am going next. Some day, you will have that experience, too, of having someone to love and who loves you. Such a kind heart as yours will draw them to you.

"Leave them some space, okay? Don't become a closed and withered flower. Flowers close at night, but in the day they open for the sun. Keep your secrets close, but when your sun comes, open and let it in."

He looked up into her eyes, then nodded. She smiled and nodded back, then took a step forward. He stepped to the side and watched her as she hobbled to the top of the hill. She turned back once, to look over the field of flowers, and at the black-haired Sky Demon child one more time.

He bowed to her. She nodded back, then turned away and moved carefully down the other side of the hill, returning to her guard, as she had promised.

She held in her heart that day, and all the way to the gallows, the image of that child. She died with a faint smile on her lips, grateful for that one last opportunity of peace and to do good. She would do her part and keep her promise to watch over him, as one who was ignorantly called "demon" for another.


	45. A2: Izark's Song - Gratitude

**My mother**

\- _Bore me._ Taught me gentleness, desire, longing, compassion.

**Miss Letia**

\- _Nurtured me._ Taught me an appreciation of nature, to be who I really am, tenderness, kindness, courage.

**Gaya**

\- _Protected me._ Taught me persistence, strength through gentleness, swordsmanship, purpose.

**Noriko**

\- _Changed me._ Taught me faith, hope, trust, unconditional love.

**Barago**

\- _Teased me._ Taught me the strength of repentance, the freedom of true forgiveness, loyalty.

**Agol**

\- _Tested me._ Taught me fathership and husbandship, companionship with others and the world, fortitude.

**Geena**

\- _Delighted me._ Taught me joy, caution that doesn't immobilize, capability despite handicap.

**Grand Duke Jeida**

\- _Mentored me._ Taught me inner peace, contemplation, the strength of gentle honest words, nobleness.

**Banadam**

\- _Pushed me._ Taught me rivals have a purpose, jealousy and how to overcome it, how to demonstrate love to others.

**Rontarna and Koriki**

\- _Brothered me (Little Brothers)._ Taught me the purpose of steady companions, patience, family bonds.

**Zena**

\- _Encouraged me._ Taught me to make my own destiny, encouragement, living true to myself without stressing myself too much.

**Anita and Rottenina**

\- _Sistered me (Little Sisters)._ Taught me the fun of steady companions, relaxation, patience.

**Tazasheena**

\- _Tempted me._ Taught me the difference between outer beauty and inner beauty, caution, honesty with myself, that even people who choose to do evil have a purpose.

**The Mayor of the Flower Festival town**

\- _Led me._ Taught me how to encourage others gently, strength in right doing, how to enjoy life even while carrying heavy responsibilities.

**Kizak**

\- _Uncled me._ Taught me that there is a future, and it can still be good if it changes; not to fear commitment; humility.

**Ninya**

\- _Aunted me._ Taught me new ways to see strength, generosity, fellowship.

**Doros**

_\- Served me._ Taught me the power of gratitude, determination, how to use chimos!

**The farmer and his family**

\- _Housed me._ Taught me hard work, contribution, simpleness, the value of rest.

**Niana**

\- _Mothered me._ Taught me fortitude, sacrifice, the power of optimism, the uses of gossip.

**Glocia**

\- _Sistered me (Big Sisters)._ Taught me the value of continual education, what leadership looks like from the outside and how it affects us inside, patriotism.

**Alef**

\- _Used me. ...Oh, sorry. Brothered me (Big Brothers)._ Taught me directness, negotiation skills, proper levels of protectiveness.

**The Grey Bird Tribe**

\- _Challenged me._ Taught me community, solidarity, tactics, honor.

**Doctor Clairgeeta**

\- _Strengthened me._ Taught me I could achieve my dreams and desires, thinking outside the box, about the world of light, there are two sides to every story.

**The Mayor and City of Ennemarna**

\- _Welcomed me._ Taught me to lean on others, there is light in the world in many people, gratitude.

**Keimos**

\- _Rivaled me._ Taught me how shallow strength is alone, single mindedness, self-improvement, continuing forward in the face of defeat.

**Rachef**

\- _Mirrored me_. Taught me how all my lessons in life led me to be what I am today, but how my own inner heart mattered from the beginning, just like Miss Letia told me it did; the dangers of greed, avarice, and obsession; empathy.


	46. A3: Sudden Partners

"But Lettie! I can't believe that he would go to the park with _her_! If he's going to do that, then I'd rather go to the ball with _him_!" The dainty manicured finger at the end of the smooth white arm, ringed in gold bracelets of fine work, very definitely defined the young man standing only five feet in front of Lettie and her young Lady friend, who she was the daily escort of.

The young man, dressed sufficiently for his station of a traveling warrior - demarked by the sword at his side - and looking like a catch even for the city with his long black hair, dark surprised eyes, and very fine gorgeous features, took in the two young ladies, the comment just made, and back pedaled rapidly, even going so far as to shake his head as he retreated. The apple in his hand, still paused in front of his mouth, was completely forgotten. It made for a rather humorous scene, all considered.

"Lady Chrissy, I really don't think that's appropriate," Lettie answered the petty ire of the town's beautiful 'princess', although she was really only a Count's daughter. "I'm sure there are better ways to let a man know how you feel."

Lady Chrissy's eyes were narrowed, though, and she suddenly moved with purpose. She had the poor man by the wrist - the one holding the apple - before he could get away entirely. The panic in his body made even Lettie take a second look at him. He was tense and it made all of his tall slender body all of a sudden show just how muscled he was, even though the shirt, robe, and pants were slightly loose on him. _Oh, dear._

"You're a traveling warrior, which means you can be hired. You're hired. By me. I need you to accompany me to tomorrow night's ball. You may leave after that." Lady Chrissy's eyes bored into the young man's, leaving no room to refuse. "How much?"

He blinked, once. "I don't have appropriate clothing."

"We'll supply that. You'll fit my brother's clothing." The young man appealed to Lettie. She nodded. He would. That didn't look like what he wanted, though, by the slight look of consternation that came across his face. Lettie put her finger by the side of her mouth, first letting it slide in front of her lips, with a pause directly in front of them. He caught the cue. His eyes sharpened just a little when he saw it.

He considered Lady Chrissy again. "I'm not much of a dancer." It sounded like one last gasp for freedom.

Lady Chrissy tossed her head. "You've got all day tomorrow to practice. I'm sure my tutor could be spared. It's not like _he's_ much of a dancer either."

At that comment, the young warrior wanted freedom again. "I really don't want to be caught in the middle of a romantic tangle, young Lady. I would really like to be able to leave town, rather than sit in a cell for several years...or be attacked on my way out by the young man's friends. I'm not sure you can pay my price for that level of difficulty."

Lady Chrissy's eyes narrowed again and Lettie could see a thunderstorm in the making. Lettie stepped up. "I'm sure that if it could end with the two of them together, the friends would leave well enough alone," she negotiated.

"Lady Chrissy, if you will explain it plainly to your father, what your plan is, perhaps he will be willing to overlook your choice of escorts to the ball, and the chaos that may ensue. It is only right that if you're going to hire an escort, that you should make sure you don't kill him off. That's a waste of good talent."

Lettie eyed the young man one more time, "Not to mention good looks," although she said that more to herself. Ah. She'd made him a tad angry with that comment. She shrugged slightly and gave him a faint smile.

"Name your price," Lady Chrissy demanded.

The young man looked straight in her eyes. "Five gold." Lettie blinked. That was nearly Lady Chrissy's yearly allowance.

Lady Chrissy bit her lip, then nodded once. "Done." She released the wrist she was still holding in a tight grip. "I only need you on my arm to make him jealous, of course. But I do expect you to be pleasant company as well, as an escort ought."

"Of course," the answer was dry and a little droll.

"I'm the Lady Christine de Frontené, Count Frontené's daughter. This is my lady escort Miss Lettie. What is your name?"

"My name is Izark kia Tarj, Lady Christine." No bow, or even nod of the head. Lettie hid a smile behind her hand. He held himself with the calm lithe grace of a fighter, and none of the pompousness of the weak lordlings, nor any of the pride of those who were full of themselves. It was rather refreshing. Lettie decided she'd enjoy having him around, for the brief time he'd sold himself for. He looked at the apple in his hand. "Care for an apple?" he held it out to Lady Chrissy.

Lady Chrissy took it gracefully, then took his arm as well. "We are nearly done with our walk in the market. Come with us, and we'll take you to the house so you can be fitted for clothing and a room found for you. Do you need to collect your things from anywhere?" He had a bag slung over his shoulder and it seemed to be all he needed, for he shook his head. "Good." Lady Chrissy pulled on him, and the three continued the walk in the market.

She absently handed the apple to Lettie, who snuck it back into Izark's bag. He looked back at her in surprise. She gave him a bit of a smile, her real and friendly one this time. His own lip twitched. She nodded slightly and he turned back to listen politely to Lady Chrissy's further plans for the next evening.

As they wandered, Lettie kept her eyes open very carefully. It wouldn't take long for this to get on the wind and to every ear. The gossip was slim in this town, reused over and over, and the 'princess' was the hottest topic for the gossip of all.

Sure enough, the 'other' beau arrived on the scene. While Lady Chrissy was engrossed in a particular market item, Lettie lightly touched Izark on the shoulder, just enough to get his attention, then turned and walked away, directly to the man who was currently in the eye of Lady Chrissy. She glanced back once to make sure Izark was paying attention. He was, although it was divided. That was good enough.

"Lord Paulus," Lettie dipped ever so slightly in a curtsy, "are you come from your picnic with Marielle, then?"

Lord Paulus froze and his eyes went from Lady Chrissy back to Lettie and went wide. "Is that what she thinks?"

"Hmm, well, no. She thinks you did it to invite Marielle to be in your bed tonight, so she's found herself someone else to escort her tomorrow. ...All in the name of making you jealous in fair play, of course. The poor man's only agreed to it if the two of you end up together in the end and your friends," her eyes raked the four young men standing with him, "don't try to beat up on him as he leaves town after. I think given her temperament, you and he could come to an agreement?"

Lord Paulus paused, calming immediately. "Can you free him up for a bit?" he finally asked.

"Certainly," Lettie dipped in her abbreviated curtsy again and turned away, winking at _her_ favorite in the group, who responded in kind. They were already going together. Their relationship was so lacking in gossip it made the other girls completely jealous. _Oh, yes, and Lettie and Thom will be there, too._ That sort of thing said in passing and then forgotten again.

The only rumor that continued to go around was that after Lady Chrissy and Lord Paulus were married, Lettie and Thom would become their châtelaine and head secretary. As long as that rumor continued, Lettie was content. It secured their future.

Lettie put her hand on Izark's shoulder again, and gestured with her eyes towards the young men, then slipped into his place. Izark hesitated only slightly before falling back and slipping out of sight. Lettie made his excuses when Lady Chrissy noticed his absence and kept her from noticing Lord Paulus. In fifteen minutes the lithe warrior was back, slipping into place, giving his apologies, but otherwise it was as if he hadn't been gone at all.

Their arrival at the manor home was long after Lettie's feet hurt - again. Lady Chrissy never purchased much. It was more to see if _anything_ new had come in with the merchants. She did at least only go now when merchants actually had deliveries. Enough fruitless days and pleading from her escort finally had won that sense some room in her delicate brain.

"Guard, is my Father in his office?" Lady Chrissy asked as soon as she was in the door.

"Yes, My Lady," the guard bowed.

Lady Chrissy swept the three of them (not the guard) up the stairs and directly to her father's office. She knocked politely and waited to be admitted. She'd finally learned that sense when she was eleven and he'd finally had the sense to scold her for interrupting yet another important meeting with dignitaries from other places. It wasn't 'cute' anymore at that age.

Before they entered, Lettie put her hand on Lady Chrissy's arm so that Izark could free his arm from her grasp, in the guise of getting her attention for a simple question. Entering the office of the Count on her hired man's arm would not be seen well, and both Lettie and Izark understood that, even if Lady Chrissy didn't. Lady Chrissy had merely forgotten she was still holding onto him, since she was used to walking that way with Lord Paulus.

They entered, the two behind the one, as was appropriate. "Father, Paulus is going off with other women _again_, and just before the ball, too!" Lady Chrissy complained with her lower lip stuck out petulantly. "I won't have it any more. If he wants to marry me, then he needs to have the proper decency to treat me as a wife, not as a statue to place where he wants it and then ignore it.

"This is Izark kia Tarj, a wandering swordsman, who I've hired to escort me to the ball tomorrow, to set Paulus in his proper place and frame. He's agreed, based on the understanding that I tell you exactly what I'm doing so that you don't improperly punish him. Will you allow it?"

Count Frontené looked at her with just a touch of exasperation. "Surely young Lord Paulus has done no such thing."

Lady Chrissy stamped her foot, clenched both hands at her sides and scowled. "He _has_. He went off with Marielle today, and she had a picnic basket on her arm. It isn't right for him to picnic with other ladies when we are intended."

The Count sighed and his eyebrows turned down at the outside edges in dismay, but couldn't find words to answer her. He looked to Izark, who looked back calmly, and paused when he finally recognized the highly good looks on this particular young man. The Count's eyes actually widened just a little and when he turned to Lettie, many questions played in his eyes.

"Perhaps, Lord Frontené, you'd like to interview Mister Izark to assure yourself you can _trust your daughter with him_." The latter was only faintly emphasized. She felt Izark's glance, but she didn't respond to it.

The Count looked at Lettie just a little longer, then turned to his daughter. "I think that is a wise idea, Chrissy. I will speak with him for a moment. Do you plan on having him stay here?"

"Yes, please, Father. He also needs appropriate clothing for the ball. I thought we could loan him something from Forthright's closet. No need for extra expenses for only one night, after all."

"Then, please see to arrangements while I speak with Mister Izark," the Count dismissed his daughter and her escort.

"Yes, Father," they both curtsied and left, Lettie not looking at Izark, although she could feel his eyes on her back.

When the door was closed behind them, Lady Chrissy immediately set about ordering servants to prepare a room and bath, add a guest to the dining table, and went to her brother's rooms, ordering the guard on the office door to have Izark escorted to his own room when he was released. Lettie followed after, of course.

They argued over what clothing would be appropriate for Izark for the ball for nearly a half-hour. It entertained Lady Chrissy, who loved to choose clothing anyway, and it was Lettie's job to keep her entertained. So, when that was finally decided, Lettie suggested that if the Lady Chrissy felt it was appropriate to invite a traveling wanderer to eat at a Count's table, then she should at least provide clothing appropriate to it as well. Lady Chrissy blushed at her thoughtlessness, but it would be already too late to let Izark eat with the servants.

Lettie didn't mind. It meant she would have company at the table, but she expected it would be reticent company. Izark didn't seem the type to be comfortable at the high table. Her hidden scolding would also put Lady Chrissy into the frame of mind from this time on to be thinking of how to make it sufficiently appropriate to have invited him, and how to engage him in appropriate conversation. Just another learning and testing experience for the young Lady, really.

Selecting the dinner clothing took another twenty minutes after that. Surely after nearly an hour, Izark would be resting in his rooms. "Shall I take these to him, then, My Lady?" Lettie asked humbly.

"Oh, would you, Lettie? I'd like to rest before dinner. You may also once those are delivered," Lady Chrissy said gratefully.

"Thank you, Lady Chrissy," Lettie bowed and they removed themselves from Lord Forthright's rooms. He was visiting his fiancée in another town, but would be arriving the next day for the ball, which was to announce her to the higher folks in town. For all that it was their ball, Lady Chrissy was determined to make it her own - again.

The door was opened at her knock. "Mister Izark, I have the clothing with me. If I may?" Lettie was all servant.

Izark stepped back and invited her in, closing the door quietly behind her. Lettie walked to the bed and placed the two sets of clothing on it in separate piles. "And were your interviews satisfactory, Mister Izark?" she asked businesslike as she began to hang up the ball clothing in the small wardrobe in the room. "This one is for the ball tomorrow."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him take a pose, one foot out to the side as he put his weight on the other and crossed his arms. He tipped his head at her and she picked up the shirt to hang as well. "I suppose," he allowed. "Does this really happen so often with the Lady Christine?"

"Mmm," Lettie pursed her lips as she considered and hung the shirt in the wardrobe. "Not quite in this way. We've not had the sudden fortune...or I suppose from your point of view, _mis_fortune, of having someone take the place of the bringer of jealousy who was not already in this town. Really, she's worn out all of her options at this point."

She walked back for the last item on the bed. "I shouldn't be surprised if Lord Paulus is ready to actually follow through on her expectations by now." She glanced at Izark at this, but he didn't give away what he and Lord Paulus had talked about. She hung the last item and turned to him.

She looked him up and down. It made him uncomfortable. He often had girls look at him with interest, then. Not surprising. She pointed to the clothes still on the bed. "She's invited you to eat at the high table tonight. These are your clothes." His face fell.

"I'll be there as well." He looked slightly more hopeful, but still resigned. "I'll be glad to have thoughtful company that is pleasing on the eye for once." He blushed and it pleased her enough to elicit the lifting of one side of her lips.

He was immediately impatient with her. "Do you always tease strangers?" he asked irritably.

"I tease everyone, Mister Izark. It's my personal entertainment, for having to be the entertainment and instructor for a delicate flower with an even more delicate brain. You needn't worry yourself, however. I have an intended I am perfectly happy with who'll be escorting me to tomorrow's ball. You've already met him and we are both probably already included in Lord Paulus' plans."

He relaxed just a little, then gave a nod. "I was told he would tell you."

Lettie nodded. She curtsied slightly and moved to the door. He stepped out of the way. She put her hand on the door knob, then looked at him over her shoulder. "Twelve percent of the total, Mister Izark." She opened the door and closed it behind her, leaving him behind, open mouthed.

The door was immediately opened. "Six!"

She turned towards him, a scoffing look on her face. "You'd not be getting any of the remainder without me. Ten."

"I'm getting the most from my original employer, which you didn't help with. Eight."

Lettie paused, then nodded. He bowed to her and she curtsied back, then left for her own rooms, his door clicking shut behind her.

-o-o-o-

_The moral: Take your opportunities when they come to earn just a little more, even when they are unexpected or unusual. ...At least that's the moral Izark learned. That and - some women are actually more interested in his earning capacity than his looks._

_...Although by the end of the night of the ball, he was almost to decide that working for an insect like Nada would be better than on the arm of a woman trying to make her man jealous. (Of course, he hadn't met Nada yet at this point, nor Noriko, either.) Only the fact of the plans set with the Count and the lordling kept him in place. The extra income - not to mention __five__ whole gold - plus the plans - made it worth it...by a slight edge._

_Lettie kept Izark sane to the best of her ability. She needed to protect her investment after all. Ah, yes, and the plan was to answer Lettie's scolding of "surely there are better ways to get a man's attention". Lady Chrissy didn't play this game any more after this ball. All seven men made sure of it, to Lettie's satisfaction._

* * *

_Thank you for reading along with me. I hope you have enjoyed Izark's version of From Far Away, re-written slightly to account for an intellectual Noriko. I have greatly enjoyed writing it. Please also enjoy the version from Noriko's perspective: The Dangers of Being an Intellectual, if you haven't yet. - Arigato gozaimsu. Ryuu no Okaasan_


End file.
